Is it stupid of me to go to a deaf meet with only limited ASL?

A couple of people mentioned "knowing how to ask where the bathroom is". That reminded me of when I was in Wash DC and an Asian woman came up to me to ask where the bathrooms were. She was able to "sign" to me what she was looking for in a way that I could understand and I was able to point her in the right direction.
 
I am so glad to see all of the encouraging posts here. Lots of great people on this forum!!

I have been looking and looking in my area (south jersey) for some deaf events, finally got a contact on facebook who is getting info for me on 3 -a monthly coffee meetup, an ASL church service, and even some plays at a local theatre done in ASL. I am very nervous about going, even though I am feeling more comfortable with my beginner signing. Signing to my nieces, my family, my self, to my computer screen, and to my dog is easy - but being in the actual presence of real! live! deaf! people (yikes!) is probably going to make me freeze up, like a deer in the headlights. And I agree with what Jilio says. People will accept you based on your attitude, just like with everything else in life.
 
jenniifer said:
I am so glad to see all of the encouraging posts here. Lots of great people on this forum!!

I have been looking and looking in my area (south jersey) for some deaf events, finally got a contact on facebook who is getting info for me on 3 -a monthly coffee meetup, an ASL church service, and even some plays at a local theatre done in ASL. I am very nervous about going, even though I am feeling more comfortable with my beginner signing. Signing to my nieces, my family, my self, to my computer screen, and to my dog is easy - but being in the actual presence of real! live! deaf! people (yikes!) is probably going to make me freeze up, like a deer in the headlights. And I agree with what Jilio says. People will accept you based on your attitude, just like with everything else in life.
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Hope you'll enjoy yourself when you go to one of the deaf events.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I was thinking that too, bring a note book and pen to use , I don't it would be rude to write down a few words if she does not know how to sign them.
I would rather write a word and use the wrong sign for a word. My college
guidance counselor told me a funny story . She was at church and a
sign language interpreter was signing what the priest was saying. when the
priest said the word "together" the interpreter kept using the wrong sign , he was using the sign for 'Fuck' instead! And everyone in church was falling asleep, but when they saw the sign for 'fuck' it got people attention! The interpreter had no idea what he was doing wrong!
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ha ha ha... I read your post. Very interesting. Perhaps, I like that to see something different... perhaps not.
 
Been only to one deaf event....only me and rraja don't know ASL while everybody else signs...it was super awkward for us to be there, but I get to connect to a couple of people who are oral and ASL both.
 
TXgolfer said:
Interesting that you said this. I went to a diversity HH in Austin in November. They changed the name from DPHH, not sure why. Anyway I tried to use my phone to communicate a couple of times and they looked at me like I was from Mars.

My experience at these events (1 in Austin, 2 in Dallas, 1 in Ft Worth) has been that you have to be think skinned if you don't know ASL. There were alot of people that didn't want to bother with someone that didn't sign. BUT, each time I met a few really nice people as well. Being a man, I noticed that no men talked to me. Probably a jealous or protective kind of thing that's the vibe I got. But I did meet a few women at each event and I learned a little bit of ASL each time.

All this to say, yes go. Just be prepared. It can be a little intimidating at first.
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The jealous and protective vibe from Deaf men... I've experienced that too. But then, I've experienced that from all men whenever I go to a bar. :dunno:

Although, I will say, if they sense that you're there just to flirt with deaf women, they'll pick up on that right away and then yeah, you'll see more cold shoulders and over-protectiveness, especially if you don't know any ASL. (I'd wager that a hearing woman will experience the same thing from deaf women if she's flirting with deaf men.) There are so few deaf people, so when an "outsider" comes in and tries to take away one from the pack, you get a lot of resistance. This is basic social theory that you'll see whenever outsiders come into contact with minority groups. It is not something unique to Deaf culture.
 
No, it is not stupid for you to go. It is the best way to learn ASL. Good luck!
 
TheWriteAlex said:
The jealous and protective vibe from Deaf men... I've experienced that too. But then, I've experienced that from all men whenever I go to a bar. :dunno:

Although, I will say, if they sense that you're there just to flirt with deaf women, they'll pick up on that right away and then yeah, you'll see more cold shoulders and over-protectiveness, especially if you don't know any ASL. (I'd wager that a hearing woman will experience the same thing from deaf women if she's flirting with deaf men.) There are so few deaf people, so when an "outsider" comes in and tries to take away one from the pack, you get a lot of resistance. This is basic social theory that you'll see whenever outsiders come into contact with minority groups. It is not something unique to Deaf culture.
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men being there specifically to look for what they may think of as "weak" women is a definite possibility too. There is a problem in groups like AA and NA with men who are not drinkers or addicts, but go to these meetings looking for vulnerable women, women in recovery could be considered as such. I could see the same sneaky manipulative types of men thinking they might find someone "vulnerable" in an ASL meeting - but oh boy, won't they be in for a surprise. Still one has to be careful, and even suspicious of new comers. It's a crazy world, and there are people out there up to no good, even though we would like to think otherwise.

As for some people not wanting to be bothered with someone who doesn't sign, that is easy to understand. They are there to socialize and see old friends, not to teach us beginners. Some may want to help, but we shouldn't expect them to. Also, I have heard that you should never monopolize someone's time at these meetings.
 
natty_4ever said:
I really want to practice and learn more ASL. I only have a very basic knowledge, and I am slowly becoming profoundly deaf, so I definitely need to learn. I would also like to meet other people like me, as I have only met one other HOH person in my life, no deaf/Deaf, just a girl with a mild/moderate loss. Would it be dumb of me to just go to a deaf coffee chat, with such a communication barrier? I don't know if they all sign or if some are oral deaf.
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Nice question,Im only 70 percent deaf(hoh)and know the basics but thats all
 
Thanks Natty for starting this thread I've been wondering about the same thing and I will go to my first coffee soon. I wish I knew someone in the area to go with but I'm a big girl I will go alone.
 
I wish I could say that my going to deaf dinners (being invited), bingo, Church, etc., has been positive, but it hasn't....I've always had to bring my children, and in most cases, they didn't seem to be "very welcome", only at Church..(they are hearing)..I do know ASL, but not fluently. And I do speak while I sign. (But had read where it's taboo at deaf events), but again, I'm a deafie who cannot understand ASL if someone does not mouthe the words.

At some events, poker was being played, mixed drinks also....so my boys could not go and of course, I stayed home. There is no way anyone should leave 3 teenagers at home alone! And I don't drink.

As for many deafies that I've met, I was bombarded with so many personal questions, even to the point asking where I lived (and they were strangers). I don't mind saying..."Oh, I live on the Westside"...but they wanted to know my exact address....even my children! Wanting to know why I had 3 of them at my age....(NOTE: These people were "strangers" and I don't "offer" such much information to strangers).

All in all, I've had positive and many negative reactions to some events. And do have a few deafie friends that I can relate to....before I forget...one incident that realllly made me so angry was that at Church, when the services were over....a deafie (male) "popped" my arse! I'm not kidding! I never attended that Church again.

BUT...I will keep on attending deaf events as much as possible to make some more good friends!
 
I've been going to ASL meetups and events for about 8 months now. For me, it has not gotten any easier. I don't have any receptive skills yet, so can't understand much around me. Sometimes it feels like insanity to keep going and hoping for a different result. :(
 
If you stop going you will never develop advanced skills. The language isn't much good unless you have receptive skills. Communication is 2 way.
 
If I were you, I'd try to have more one-on-one conversations rather than throw myself in a group of fast signing people.. All of whom have known each other for years, probably.
 
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