Is it called, Adultry?

Off subject:

(Scratching my head) You are preferring to a TV show - Desperate Housewives. This happened last week or two weeks ago. Lynette had to help her boss, Rex, using on his AIM to make his wife happy...

It sounds that you caught your husband's inappropriate emails...
 
some people believe thinking lustful thoughts abot another woman or man while your married is considered adultery .... :whistle:
 
i wouldnt call it adultery but it isn't right. i think there is something more though along the lines of trust. why was she reading through his email and checking who he was chatting with? i dont think what he did was right but if she doesnt trust him enough that she snoops through his stuff then they have bigger problems then just him and her e-mailing.
 
2hot4you said:
i wouldnt call it adultery but it isn't right. i think there is something more though along the lines of trust. why was she reading through his email and checking who he was chatting with? i dont think what he did was right but if she doesnt trust him enough that she snoops through his stuff then they have bigger problems then just him and her e-mailing.
Click to expand...
OK.. how about this scenerio. He and his wife are having problems communicating which is why he is unable to talk to her. So he confides in a female friend to try to get the perspective of a female in an attempt to save his relationship with his wife. What's wrong with that? If there is trust then it doesn't matter if he is emailing or talking in person with a female. Just as it wouldn't matter if his wife was emailing or talking with a male. Trust means trust and this notion of the husband and wife only talking to each other would only work in fantasy land where there are no communication problems and the world is perfect. It's a nice idea but it's no where near reality.
 
If a person's best friend is emailing her best friend's husband, and she finds out by accidentally reading her husband's email, and she approached her best friend and asked nicely to stop emailing her husband, as it is crossing over the trust boundaries of friendship. If that doesn't work, and they are still emailing each other, then it's time for the wife to go to her husband and put a stop to it. Only depending on the nature of the emails, and how honest her husband has been to his wife about the emails.

There should be a lot of faith and trust in a marriage between a husband and wife, and a lot of trust in a friendship, and how far over the boundaries this best friend goes. If the best friend goes too far, the friendship then needs to cool down.
 
webexplorer said:
Off subject:

(Scratching my head) You are preferring to a TV show - Desperate Housewives. This happened last week or two weeks ago. Lynette had to help her boss, Rex, using on his AIM to make his wife happy...

It sounds that you caught your husband's inappropriate emails...
Click to expand...

im not married...
 
CODAchild said:
If a person's best friend is emailing her best friend's husband, and she finds out by accidentally reading her husband's email, and she approached her best friend and asked nicely to stop emailing her husband, as it is crossing over the trust boundaries of friendship. If that doesn't work, and they are still emailing each other, then it's time for the wife to go to her husband and put a stop to it. Only depending on the nature of the emails, and how honest her husband has been to his wife about the emails.

There should be a lot of faith and trust in a marriage between a husband and wife, and a lot of trust in a friendship, and how far over the boundaries this best friend goes. If the best friend goes too far, the friendship then needs to cool down.
Click to expand...

Actually, its not her best friend...it just a lady who is their good friend...I noticed the lady has been little flirting with my friend's hubby...but her hubby is strong and not stupid...he and my friend recently worked it out with their misunderstandings....however, my friend told the lady if the lady continues emailing to her hubby about her...she will file for vpo against the lady... :whistle:
 
There's something on my thoughts.

Gotta ask.

Will it be calling an adultery/cheating if my girlfriend goes alone or with her friend to the male strip club and have fun (with my knowledge and permission OK'd it with her) and male stripper do strip job for my girlfriend and kiss her lips and etc. without sex and/or oral sex?
 
Douglas said:
There's something on my thoughts.

Gotta ask.

Will it be calling an adultery/cheating if my girlfriend goes alone or with her friend to the male strip club and have fun (with my knowledge and permission OK'd it with her) and male stripper do strip job for my girlfriend and kiss her lips and etc. without sex and/or oral sex?
Click to expand...

First of all, I didn't get chance to say :wave: :welcome: to ADers here...:D

To answer your question...Everyone of us have our own opinions so...

Since you were knowledge and gave permission OK for your girlfriend and her friend to go male strip club...As long as two of you are honest with each others then that should be ok for her and her friend to go since you were aware of it...

BUT...I've heard that male strip or female strip club are NOT allowed to touch physically especially kissing unless if permission is granted...I am surprised that the guy had guts to kiss her...I know the rules is for customers to give permission whether kiss or not...I suspect maybe your g/f gave him permission to kiss her..OR maybe he kissed her all of sudden like suprise kiss... :dunno:

I personally dont think it is right for him to kiss your g/f...he is supposed to be professional...this is my two cents..:D
 
Douglas said:
There's something on my thoughts.

Gotta ask.

Will it be calling an adultery/cheating if my girlfriend goes alone or with her friend to the male strip club and have fun (with my knowledge and permission OK'd it with her) and male stripper do strip job for my girlfriend and kiss her lips and etc. without sex and/or oral sex?
Click to expand...


No, it will not to be called as Adultery .. because you both are not married ! that would be called as CHEATER, then again if she got your permission that would not to be called as CHEATER ! . if you both are married, then it wouldn't not to be Adultery with your permission. If she has been with someone and had sex behind your back without your knowledgement then it would be called as ADULTERY ! ...

Hope it does to be clarify . :)
 
CutePommie said:
No, it will not to be called as Adultery .. because you both are not married ! that would be called as CHEATER, then again if she got your permission that would not to be called as CHEATER ! . if you both are married, then it wouldn't not to be Adultery with your permission. If she has been with someone and had sex behind your back without your knowledgement then it would be called as ADULTERY ! ...

Hope it does to be clarify . :)
Click to expand...

I second that...:D
 
CutePommie said:
No, it will not to be called as Adultery .. because you both are not married ! that would be called as CHEATER, then again if she got your permission that would not to be called as CHEATER ! . if you both are married, then it wouldn't not to be Adultery with your permission. If she has been with someone and had sex behind your back without your knowledgement then it would be called as ADULTERY ! ...

Hope it does to be clarify . :)
Click to expand...


If you ask your husband/wife for his/her permission, then it would be not be adultery. Uh? :dunno:

If your husband/wife finds out about you having sex, then you are having an affair. :fly:
 
webexplorer said:
If you ask your husband/wife for his/her permission, then it would be not be adultery. Uh? :dunno:


If your husband/wife finds out about you having sex, then you are having an affair. :fly:
Click to expand...


I only answer Douglas's qq that about if his gf have his permission to let her go to the male stripper club whateva with friends .. get it thank you....

this smiley hair colour does to suit ya :whistle: and nice hair style too ... :lol:
 
Gemtun said:
I call it as " crossing over boundary lines " ....it does not reek of adultery just yet but it clearly shows that both persons are crossing boundary lines and not respecting respective spouses' privacy or wishes, etc.

Crossing over boundary lines will lead to problems, whether it becomes adultery or just violation of privacy.
Click to expand...

I agree with you. I don't think you could say it goes as far as adultery, but it definitely raises some reg flags.
 
ella said:
some people believe thinking lustful thoughts abot another woman or man while your married is considered adultery .... :whistle:
Click to expand...

This is true, and I wouldn't go quite that far. Just because someone thinks a married individual is atttractive does NOT mean they've committed adultery. Adultery comes into play when someone actually has a physical relationship with a married person.

Now, having said that... I also believe that a married person should NOT become overly emotionally attached to someone who is not their spouse. Doing so can cause a LOT of problems. Especially, if one half of the married couple is overly jealous, possessive, and what not.
 
Gemtun said:
I would call it BALONEY! That is just a perfect excuse. He should always confide in his wife first and only, period. I dont buy it that he should be confiding in a female friend about their marriage problems. It should be between husband and wife, period or it will fail due to trust issues.

If he is genuinely concerned about his spouse, he could have suggested counseling. There is no point of getting a personal friend involved. It will only ruin trust issues, etc.
Click to expand...

AMEN!
 
When I was younger , There were alots of my friends getting married. I found out it was much better to not visit married couples and to only come by invitation also if I needed to see a friend and she is married. I would just wait until she is with her husband that way prevent problems. I never go to a married couple's house then push the doorbell when I know her husband is not home to chat. I did this by accident and not on purpose but I got a beating from him anyway even though I was innocent. I never enter the house to chat with her. I will just stand on the porch then say I will come back later when her husband is home and leave , never enter the house when the husband is not present. I also think it is inappropriate for a married couple to be giving out e-mail addresses except to their families and work related jobs and only 1 or two friends. The rest of friends would have to meet at Deaf social club that way there are less problems. I learned this the hard way and Ever since I have not had anymore problems due to following this policy that I had to learn through hard experience. Things change alots when single friends find that their friends are getting married then they start a family and are very busy, focused with their kids and hardly have any more time for single friends. Contacting friends through e-mail when they are dating boyfriend/girlfriend or engagned or are married are not a good idea. Best for e-mails to be only for their families, work and maybe 1 or 2 friends. That is it. I find it a really good policy and much more safer for all concerned.
 
Hmmmmmm, praytell, what does the phrase, ".......having adulterous thoughts....." mean, then?
 
Douglas said:
There's something on my thoughts.

Gotta ask.

Will it be calling an adultery/cheating if my girlfriend goes alone or with her friend to the male strip club and have fun (with my knowledge and permission OK'd it with her) and male stripper do strip job for my girlfriend and kiss her lips and etc. without sex and/or oral sex?
Click to expand...

As long as both of you agreed on a boundary together, it's not adultery. It is between you and your gf, not us. :lol:

It is nice that you've great communication and honesty with her in your relationship, if I may comment on that.

Has anyone seen Unfaithful the movie with Diane Lane? It definitely is adultery the way the lady sneaked around behind her hb's back.
 
rockdrummer said:
OK.. how about this scenerio. He and his wife are having problems communicating which is why he is unable to talk to her. So he confides in a female friend to try to get the perspective of a female in an attempt to save his relationship with his wife. What's wrong with that? If there is trust then it doesn't matter if he is emailing or talking in person with a female. Just as it wouldn't matter if his wife was emailing or talking with a male. Trust means trust and this notion of the husband and wife only talking to each other would only work in fantasy land where there are no communication problems and the world is perfect. It's a nice idea but it's no where near reality.
Click to expand...


Amen! I see nothing wrong with talking to someone outside of the marriage, if the marriage isn't working any more where there is no communication, there are times it just die out, Where can you go to get advice? a confide in a friend would do it, doesn't matter if a friend is a female or male, as long that friend can understands "you" while the wife or husband doesn't understand.

I believe that talking to someone from online, emailing, aims does not consider Adultery, it would consider Adultery if a spouse went out and had the affair. ;)
 
Back
Top