Is it called, Adultry?

C

coloravalanche

Guest
I want to challenge with you...

Supposed if your female friend is emailing your husband and they have been talking about issues...and your husband hasn't informed you about his conversation with female friend through emailing...later, you find out and read their emails....(or male friend emailing your wife)

Also, you keep telling your female friend to stop emailing your husband but she refused and keeps emailing your husband....

And...if you are having problem with your female friend...how do you feel when she forward your emails to your husband? like big mouth telling your husband on you? you tell her to stop it and she keeps doing it....

How do you feel about this?

Do you think that is called, "adultry"?

Do you think it is inappropriate for your husband not telling you about his emailing to female friend?

I personally believe it is inappropriate for me or any singles to chat or email to spouse's husbands...because it could lead into adultry! I am very careful whom I chat or email with...I dont fool around with married men!

Let's discuss about this...no bashing or putting anyone down...thanks!
 
i guess it depends on what they're writing back and forth to eachother.

my friends ex bf kept iming last year when i told him to stop cause 1 he talked behind my friends back to me instead telling her what hes saying to me to her face. 2 he flirted with me and that was my last straw ... and i told my friend i think hes an asshole and she do better then that loser :)
 
I call it as " crossing over boundary lines " ....it does not reek of adultery just yet but it clearly shows that both persons are crossing boundary lines and not respecting respective spouses' privacy or wishes, etc.

Crossing over boundary lines will lead to problems, whether it becomes adultery or just violation of privacy.
 
I'm not sure by emailing each other. Physically, if they agree with consent, then it's adultery.
 
if they were intimate and talking about sex and etc.. maybe yes but till i caught them with my eyes. if only come to emails- they shouldnt have right to do that ..i agree it will lead to sex encounters. BUT only if its come to business.. nothing we can do about it.. but its not adultery.. just secrets your husband have on his dark side which he should have told you and be honest with in first place.

having sex and kissing is called adultery.. but talking about issues.. hmm she doesnt have right to talk to your husband.. your husband should have told her go and talk with someone else.." i am wrong person to talk to" .. cuz he already have a best friend which is you. thats my opinion.

i forgot to add.. that female friend if she wont stop emailing him then she is not my true friend and the husband wouldnt do anything about it? then bye bye to him! and i would just drop her off like a hot potato and let my husband go cuz where is the trust? there is no trust in that relationship. its GONE.
 
Serendipity said:
I'm not sure by emailing each other. Physically, if they agree with consent, then it's adultery.
Click to expand...

But emotional affairs are as painful as physical affairs are too. Don't you think so, too?
 
Gemtun said:
But emotional affairs are as painful as physical affairs are too. Don't you think so, too?
Click to expand...

Yes, but depending on extent of every situation. Some are as bad, while some others are not that bad.
 
Serendipity said:
Yes, but depending on extent of every situation. Some are as bad, while some others are not that bad.
Click to expand...


Curious....how do you determine whether that is bad or some are not that bad? Who gets to judge or determine that this one is not bad whereas the other one is bad? :dunno:

I believe that each one of us have our own definiton of what is bad or what is not so bad or whatnot...we all have varying tolerance levels.
 
Gemtun said:
Curious....how do you determine whether that is bad or some are not that bad? Who gets to judge or determine that this one is not bad whereas the other one is bad? :dunno:

I believe that each one of us have our own definiton of what is bad or what is not so bad or whatnot...we all have varying tolerance levels.
Click to expand...

I may not be 100% correct, but this is really based on every individual's opinion.

I think this is wrong for someone to cross the line with someone else by getting off physically, thus I consider it as an adultery. I know it can be led by sending emails back and forth, but how it goes is up to two person to make it work.

I have seen one situation recently, a married man was hitting on a young single woman. He was flirting with her on AIM, that's ok, as long as it is not considered "over the line". If he kept doing that same thing for so long, it is putting strain on his wife and her feelings toward his frequent flings online with another woman besides his wife. It's unhealthy for the relationship, especially if one is married. Still, I don't think it is considered adultery as yet until they decide to go on the next level. That would be intimacy, as long as a married man AGREED to a consent with someone else than his wife as she agreed upon the consent, too. That's adultery.
 
I would be suspicious and wonder why my spouse prefers to spend time online chatting with another person. I would ask her to come straight with the story, otherwise, I'd drop her like a fly or threaten to.
 
OK..how about this...

Supposed if your husband and female friend have been talking about you during emailing...and your hubby didnt tell you about it until you caught and read his emails...

How would you feel about this?

Supposed you confront your hubby about this...and he tells you that he is concern about you and didnt want you to know because of good reason such as stress, health, or emotional roller coaster? Do you think it is good excuses for your hubby for not telling you about him and female friend emailing each others just because he is protecting you?

What would your suspicious be?
 
well i would think hes concerned about his wife and doesn't know what to do to help and he would want advice from someone whose her bes friend.. but yeah i think if that happened to me i would be mad ,but then would realize that they were only concerned about me,and i was acting stupid by being mad.
 
if the female freind happen to be your best friend and he is worried about you and is concerned about you.. he talked to her thru emails and aim.. as long as he and she havent crossed the line thats it.. but harmless talk about you? thats different.. its not adultery.. he just is concerned about you and want to make sure you are not hiding anything from him? i dont see any thing harmless in this? thats nothing??
 
coloravalanche said:
I want to challenge with you...

Supposed if your female friend is emailing your husband and they have been talking about issues...and your husband hasn't informed you about his conversation with female friend through emailing...later, you find out and read their emails....(or male friend emailing your wife)

Also, you keep telling your female friend to stop emailing your husband but she refused and keeps emailing your husband....

And...if you are having problem with your female friend...how do you feel when she forward your emails to your husband? like big mouth telling your husband on you? you tell her to stop it and she keeps doing it....

How do you feel about this?

Do you think that is called, "adultry"?

Do you think it is inappropriate for your husband not telling you about his emailing to female friend?

I personally believe it is inappropriate for me or any singles to chat or email to spouse's husbands...because it could lead into adultry! I am very careful whom I chat or email with...I dont fool around with married men!

Let's discuss about this...no bashing or putting anyone down...thanks!
Click to expand...

Well, if a husband and wife are in a " marriage " relationship, then their relationship should base upon honesty and share things with each other. There's no need to " create " a suspicious to bring in both of husband and wife's relationship. A female/male friend should respect " married " couple and have no business to get involved.

If, a husband and wife agree that they will tell each other about what their friends are tellin' them behind on either one of married spouse's back - then, that would be great and it will make their friends to stop tellin'. Husband and wife need to stand up for each other, if they really love each other and meant for each other. Respect is prority in marriage. :)

As for " adultery " : That's if, either husband or wife is involved with touchin' phyiscally, then it is committed adultery.

Supposedly, if it happens to me, then I would call it off the relationship and return to bein' single. I am too old for head games or BS.
 
As you can see by definition below that adultery only occurs when there is sexual intercourse. So emailing back and fourth regardless of the content of the conversation does not constitute adultery.


Main Entry: adul·tery
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ter·ies
Etymology: Middle English, alteration of avoutrie, from Middle French, from Latin adulterium, from adulter adulterer, back-formation from adulterare
: voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband; also : an act of adultery
 
rockdrummer said:
As you can see by definition below that adultery only occurs when there is sexual intercourse. So emailing back and fourth regardless of the content of the conversation does not constitute adultery.


Main Entry: adul·tery
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ter·ies
Etymology: Middle English, alteration of avoutrie, from Middle French, from Latin adulterium, from adulter adulterer, back-formation from adulterare
: voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband; also : an act of adultery
Click to expand...

Yeah, exactly. :)
 
But I see so much emphasis on physical affairs. Dont forget that emotional affairs do hurt too. There are more and more research being done on how emotional affairs can affect couples.

It doesnt have to become physical in order to commit adultery....Trust me, my ex husband was guilty of emotional affair and took her word over mine over and over. It is as bad as if he DID have physical relations with her.

Wives or Husbands should always be FIRST in marriage, period.
 
coloravalanche said:
OK..how about this...

Supposed if your husband and female friend have been talking about you during emailing...and your hubby didnt tell you about it until you caught and read his emails...

How would you feel about this?

Supposed you confront your hubby about this...and he tells you that he is concern about you and didnt want you to know because of good reason such as stress, health, or emotional roller coaster? Do you think it is good excuses for your hubby for not telling you about him and female friend emailing each others just because he is protecting you?

What would your suspicious be?
Click to expand...

I would call it BALONEY! That is just a perfect excuse. He should always confide in his wife first and only, period. I dont buy it that he should be confiding in a female friend about their marriage problems. It should be between husband and wife, period or it will fail due to trust issues.

If he is genuinely concerned about his spouse, he could have suggested counseling. There is no point of getting a personal friend involved. It will only ruin trust issues, etc.
 
Back
Top