If your family is hearing do they sign?

jillio said:
Wow, Rebelgirl! That is so sad and things like that make me sooooo angry:rl:
It is very good that you can talk to your mom about what you missed without sign, and she undy you and you have good relationship. All parents make mistakes--me, too--and sometimes its just because we don't know. That is just human. It's the parents that just want to do what is easy for them, or the one's that won't admit that they can make mistakes or can do damage even without meaning to that make me mad!
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I understand parents being humans or making mistakes. I know my mom is one of them. My dad...he is more of the kind of parents that thinks of his own needs first. My mom realized that I needed sign language and she expressed her regrets for not learning it so she is trying to learn it but my dad still says that I dont really need it cuz I did fine without it growing up. He has no idea of all the emotional baggage I accumulated growing up and being left out. I still have serious issues about being left out but I try not to take it personally anymore. It is very hard even though I am a successful woman in her 30s..that insecure part of me still sometimes prevents me from taking on some challenges.

Anyways, what about those parents who have one mind-set and that is to get their child's speech and listening skills developed so their child can communicate with them even though the child is much older and still hasnt been able to develop those skills. My school has explained to those parents over and over again the importance of them learning sign language so their child can have some communication at home but they still refuse. Is that neglect?
 
Well I have noticed mostly of females like aunties, cousins, mothers, grandmother etc... can sign. Sometimes they finds hard to sign to deaf kids while they are having conversation.

Males.... it was rare to see them who can sign to their kids. Really their choice to learn other languages.

When you meet deaf woman or deaf guy, can be revenge back to their parents who suffer the deaf kids life.
 
shel90 said:
I understand parents being humans or making mistakes. I know my mom is one of them. My dad...he is more of the kind of parents that thinks of his own needs first. My mom realized that I needed sign language and she expressed her regrets for not learning it so she is trying to learn it but my dad still says that I dont really need it cuz I did fine without it growing up. He has no idea of all the emotional baggage I accumulated growing up and being left out. I still have serious issues about being left out but I try not to take it personally anymore. It is very hard even though I am a successful woman in her 30s..that insecure part of me still sometimes prevents me from taking on some challenges.

Anyways, what about those parents who have one mind-set and that is to get their child's speech and listening skills developed so their child can communicate with them even though the child is much older and still hasnt been able to develop those skills. My school has explained to those parents over and over again the importance of them learning sign language so their child can have some communication at home but they still refuse. Is that neglect?
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I would certainly consider it neglect. Child neglect comes in all forms: physical, medical, educational, emotional, social. A parent such as you describe would, to my way of thinking, be neglecting their child's emotional needs, social needs, and educational needs.
 
DeafTJ said:
You know what - I had several friends in your situation. Know what they did? Two of my friend just pretend they can't hear their parent at all. When parent talk with them, they don't turn head. Or keep saying, 'what, what what?' which made their parent frustrated and made them learn sign! The other took more drastic measures, which I should not embarrass them, but there are sometimes way to get your parents to see.
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Thanks for the advice. I already do that sometimes when I hear them calling me. :P

DeafTJ said:
Remember, some parents have children DEAF from birth and still don't think their child needs sign language. So if you have very determined parents like that, then you are better off to take classes and get involved in Deaf community and feel like we are your Deaf family. :)
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Aw. *cries* (in a happy/touched kind of way)

DeafTJ said:
I hope your therapist convince them to let you take classes! You have every right to prepare yourself!! Good luck and please keep us updated!!
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Will do. ;)

DeafTJ said:
P.S., do you have DSL? You can get VP for free, make some Deaf friends and talk on VP which will also help your sign skills (if you don't find other Deaf in your local area).
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Do you mean DSL like the internet connection? And what's VP?
 
Some time after my parents got divorced my father began dating a woman that was an interpreter for her church. She taught my father some ASL. That was before my hearing issues cropped up. Unfortunately they broke up and my father didn't learn much more sign language.
 
My family didn't sign langauge, none of them. I was raised oral.
 
SpaceyUFO said:
Well I have noticed mostly of females like aunties, cousins, mothers, grandmother etc... can sign. Sometimes they finds hard to sign to deaf kids while they are having conversation.

Males.... it was rare to see them who can sign to their kids. Really their choice to learn other languages.

When you meet deaf woman or deaf guy, can be revenge back to their parents who suffer the deaf kids life.
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There is a genetic link to predisposition for language, women generally learn languages easier than men.
 
Glad that I grew up with both deaf (oral/lipread students only) and hearing people and learned to get by much better without relying on ASL alone... I was forbidden to use ASL except a few homemade sign language when I was young. Thanks to my parents- they taught me to balance both deaf and hearing worlds out instead of being like "a poor deaf child"- they were dead-serious about not ever raising me to be like that.

It depends on the backgrounds some kids were raised before/during/after Vietnam War... Mostly,some middle-class,educated and wealthy parents shipped thier kids off to private oral/speech schools (some with boardings) and some of thier kids made all the way to the last day of college senior years. Some underpriviledged but extremely bright deaf children usually had some scholarships to attend private deaf schools. I don't regret or resent that my parents and siblings didn't learn ASL. Not one bit. I taught myself to use ASL, sometimes from my ASL friends, internet,book,etc many years ago but forgot some of them when I moved to Germany for five years.. Now I'm catching up FAST!!!! LOL
 
now with more family members my sister in law and my baby niece are learning to signs with help of my brother and me
also my oldest nephew just learn to fingerspell with his friend who just learn and my older niece is just learning but not full but she will learn more later in her years just like my older nephew who just learn
i am very proud of them to learn to communicate with me that why they wanted to communicate with me so i wouldn't be left out that i have been almost rest of my life

it is about TIME!!!!!!
 
I am only deaf person in my family. My family (dad, mom, and sister) all of them learned to sign. My mom died when I was really young, so I am left with only my dad and sister. I love them dearly and I always feel sorry for deaf children whom parents never learn to sign.

That's why I was outcast in school for the deaf. Because they did not understand why I love my family, since they never had the life that I had. I would rather spend one hour on bus just to get home instead of staying at dorm. Which I did later in my childhood before I transferred to public school.

Some of my aunts and cousins can either sign or fingerspell even though I see them only one time a year or even less, that's still impressive. Two of my cousins took ASL classes in high school I think...

Grandparents never learned sign language so I never really talked to them. That sucks...but that's their choice.

I think there's no excuse for parents not to learn to sign. My mom was very sick and before she died, she was determined to learn sign language and hoped that her hands weren't affect so that she can continued to talk to me. I do not remember any of those, but that's what mom's friend (who can also sign language because she was a mentor for our family) told me.
 
My mom and stepdad know sign language. My dad don't sign at all. My dad and I use paper and pen to write. I went to hearing school in my all life that I always had an interpeters. I thank my parent for put me in hearing school so I can handle with hearing people. I am not afarid to talk to them. I always have pen and paper in my hand. If I forget, I will ask them about get paper ad pen.

I see many deaf people who have hearing parent that their parents refuse learn sign language. That was sad! I used hang out with deaf oral people because we had to ride together but we went different schools. They graduted high school then they learned ASL. I was suprised to see them. They said sign are more clear than oral.
 
ASL...Hearing parents as bad parents??

zookeeper4321 said:
Ok, some great points here. I guess what I was really referring to was the exclusion. But it has been pointed out that lack of asl doesnt have to mean exclusion if there are other modes of communication. However, I don't get the stories where the parents seem to ignore the kids. But that happens with bad parents even when the child is hearing. There will always be good, bad, and mediocre parents. Grrr. I continue to learn more about the deaf everyday.
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I guess I am not one to answer this question because I am hearing and I have all hearing children, however, my youngest daughter was born with some developmental delays. We did not hear anything out of this child except screaming for the first two and a half years of her life. She cried constantly to convey what she wanted from us. I don't know what caused her not to respond to our voices. She wasn't deaf, but she just couldn't put together the words she needed to express her wants and needs. I taught her ASL so we could have some form of comunication. As she learned the signs and realized that she could sign to me and tell me she was hungry, thirsty, or sleepy...etc, the house became more peaceful. I adapted to my hearing child's needs to make sure her communication barriers were over come. I had a discussion with my husband about what we would have done if our daughter had been deaf. I have been learning sign since I was ten, but my husband had never had a desire to learn it. Even when I was teaching it to my daughter, he was still being oral with her. We both agreed that if we had a deaf child, ASL would have been the first thing we looked to for communication. I agree with the statement that was made...deaf people can not accomodate the hearing world, but the hearing world could be more considerate of the deaf community and more accomodating to them. I as a hearing parent couldn't imagine no communication with my child or spending their entire life writing notes back and forth when ASL is so much easier and convenient.
 
My idea on why hearing parents don't learn Sign Language is because of the fact that they are taking advice from where they can get it. Most parents know nothing of the Deaf community, or if there is a Deaf culture. The doctors who inform them that their child is deaf usually view things from the medical/pathological point of view, and see deafness as a problem that needs to be solved. Because of this, and the fact that a lot of what they advise in one way or another can somehow benefit their pocketbooks, they say that the parents don't need to worry about ASL lessons or residential schools or even ASL for their child. They advise that parents should invest in hearing aids, cochlear implants, and other such assistive devices. Now, if it were me being advised in this fashion, if I had not decided to switch majors in the first place, I would have likely been like most families and gone the oral road. However, since I DID switch my major and am now taking up ASL classes and soon will be taking interpreting classes, I would opt for a different road until such time as the child had reached the age that (s)he could decide which way to go. No matter what position someone is in, Deaf or not, there comes the point in their life that the parent must start giving them some independence. I would live by that motto. I might homeschool, I might go for a residential school, or I might be able to find a school nearby like Faith Christian School for the Deaf. THat part has yet to be decided and I would prefer to cross that road when I get there.
 
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