I really need some help. Deaf/hearing relationship

[sillycat]

I am hard of hearing and have deaf "hubby" for 8 years. I speak well and do ok one on one with hearing people. There are many times I have interpreted for my hubby and Im not that great interpeter becuz I am hoh but do my best. There are times when I leave out some of stuff being said or I just summarize the message when my brain gets overloaded dealing with 2 languages. My hubby knows this and not complain becuz he knows Im doing my best and Im not trained professional. There are times I say, I give up cuz Im tired from interpreting for hours or not know the technical stuff (computers).

 

[NFGTragedy]

Your Mom.... you mentioned you left out some to interpreter for your gf...It is wrong.... My husband was hearing... I wont let him leaving some out i have a right to know what was going on even if it mean every word.. It was wrong of you....
SxyPorkie

There is no right way to make these relationships work. What works for one does not nessessarily work for another. It is all about exploring what works best for you, as a couple. I tried my best to give ideas to try from my experiences. She asked for help and this, to me, was the only help I thought I could give her. What she didn't ask for was your close-minded opinion on what is and is not fair. You know what... LIFE IS NOT FAIR. Deal with it.

You know, sometimes I get the feeling that some people think that in a hearing/deaf relationship it is the hearing person's responsibility to interpret EVERYTHING that you do together. Are we forgetting that the deaf individual is still a grown person and can handle things for themselves? I didn't start a relationship with my girlfriend to be her interpreter all day long. I don't want to be the crutch that she leans on. I want her to stand on her own two feet while holding my hand. THAT is what I want. We got together because we enjoy spending time together and in the end... thats what it's all about. It is all about you and her enjoying your time together. Don't get me wrong, I do interpret things for her and I very well enjoy it but that is not why we are together. I try my best to make things go as smooth as possible so we can both enjoy our times and as long as we have that... I know we are good. Some people make it seem like its a responsibility of the hearing person to automatically interpret everything. I'm sorry but thats just not how it is. I honestly can't see it working out that way. It seems you would spend more time breaking down the entire communication block between the verbal and visual languages and less time on what really matters, your relationship.

Please dont be rude to me, i have only known sign for about a month and a half and its impossible for me to interpret everything word for word right now, my girlriend is very understanding, she cant read lips to an extent and if she ever feels left out or confused about what is going on she asks me.

I think its incredibly rude of you to not have any respect for the fact that I am even trying, it is impossible for me to get every single word that is said in there.

I feel bad for your husband, at least my girlfriend has respect and loves that I am even trying to learn a second language she understands how hard it is and loves that I am trying and learning new words every day. So if it bothers you so much, please excuse your self from this thread.

You really struck a nerve with me, its not wrong of me at all.

I know exactly how you feel. You're doing a great job. Keep at it and it will pay off. Don't let others negative opinions bring you down. Be strong, be yourself, and do what YOU think is right.

First of all, I want to know how long you both are together?

I was kind of curious about this same question also... Care to share Your_Mom? I've been comparing my near 10 month relationship(hearing/deaf) to your mystery length one and just wanted to see where yours lies in comparision. I feel we have very similar everyday issues and problems. I was kinda curious if it was a similar amount of time together or just the general hearing/deaf relationship that brings up the similar issues that we seem to share.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I know exactly how you feel. You're doing a great job. Keep at it and it will pay off. Don't let others negative opinions bring you down. Be strong, be yourself, and do what YOU think is right.

Very True.

I was kind of curious about this same question also... Care to share Your_Mom? I've been comparing my near 10 month relationship(hearing/deaf) to your mystery length one and just wanted to see where yours lies in comparision. I feel we have very similar everyday issues and problems. I was kinda curious if it was a similar amount of time together or just the general hearing/deaf relationship that brings up the similar issues that we seem to share.

Yes, that´s why I can´t give Your Mom advice and can´t compare my co-worker with her but give her an example what I had through with my hearing co-worker.

Your Mom mentioned that she started to learn sign at one month ago. It sound that it´s begin for her to relation with her girlfriend few months ago. Please correct either I´m mistake or not.

 

[Your Mom]

Yes, that´s why I can´t give Your Mom advice and can´t compare my co-worker with her but give her an example what I had through with my hearing co-worker.

Your Mom mentioned that she started to learn sign at one month ago. It sound that it´s begin for her to relation with her girlfriend few months ago. Please correct either I´m mistake or not.

Sorry when I said learn sign one month ago i meant that I just felt comfortable enough with my sign to interpret at any extent about a month ago.

I have been learning sign on and off from a very young age, but really got into learning maybe 9 months ago. About 9 months ago i got the point where I studied every day and thats how long we have been together, but not in a relationship. We have been in a relationship for about 71/2 maybe 8 months we were just friends for about a month and thats when i started getting serious about my sign.

About a month and 1/2 ago i felt comfortable enough to really try to interpret things, and got a drive to interpret. Sorry for the confusion.

It does sound like we have a lot of the same things going on, and I cant tell you how much of a relief it is to know that these things are normal.

I just think that on top of all the other stresses that come with any relationship, i think that we feel this special drive to really make this work because there is such a negative stigma attached to hearing/deaf relationships so not only do we want to prove to our selves that we are strong enough to do anything but we can prove to other people that we can do it.

Also i think it puts a very special bond between us, sharing this language, her teaching me.