shyness
rjr,
My son has muscular dystrophy. He went to his school prom in a electric wheelchair. We rented him a Tux, and he was looking good. He had a great time.
Don't let shyness get in your way. Fear is one way of defeating yourself, the more you feed it...the bigger it gets. You have to FACE your fears. Usually the anticipation of the event is worse than the actual event itself.
There's a book, oldie but goodie, written by Dale Carnegie called "How to win friends and influence people." It tells you how to change your attitudes, and most importantly, explains how to get people to like you.
Same of the ways are:
Smiling - Smile at everyone you meet. I mean a real, open smile that comes from the heart. Look at little babies and kids...even cranky old farts like babies. Why? When they give you that big 'ol grin, it makes you feel good about yourself...so you include the baby in the moment.
Take an active interest in others - Do you read lips?? Do you use a notepad or other method to communicate with the hearing folks? Think about ways you've overcome the communication barrier and look for opportunities to use them again. Look at that deaf actress maitlee? catilee? can't remember her name right off the top of my head. She was in law & order. She overcame her obstacles...and made a career doing so.
And the biggest secret Dale reveals? Simple. People are mostly interested in themselves. THEIR life. THEIR problems. Find out about someone you'd like to get to know better. Ask questions. It doesn't have to be that difficult. Since you're a young man, I know you're attracted to others. Smile at them. Make eye contact. Hand them a note. Something like "Hi! How's your day today?" would be a start. Compliment them, their hair, clothes, jewelry...anything you see about that person that you can comment favorably about.
The more you take action, the easier it will get. And about the College professors? Meet them before classes start. I did, and so did my son. We explained our handicaps, and they were very understanding. If you need extra time, you can get it. Work with them, they'll work with you.
If you can, ask your school librarian for a copy of "how to win friends and influence people" and read it. Study it. Apply the teachings in your everyday life.
I bet next year you'll be going to the senior prom and having a ball, hanging out with lots of new friends that you've made, and developing skills that will help you through life.
Have you ever watched an old Marx Brothers comedy? Harpo Marx plays a deaf/mute in the films. Look at how he expresses himself with body gestures and facial emotions. (I read that Harpo really wasn't a deaf/mute... they said that he cussed like a sailor so they wouldn't let him talk) LOL.
But his expressions...body language...tells more than sometimes words could convey.
Have faith in yourself, dude. Another thing about college...most colleges have distance-learning classes that you can take right over the internet, at home. Both myself and my son have taken them. The downside is that there's no human contact. You send all your classwork in electronically.
The plus side is, you don't have a structured time to be at class. You can attend class and do your assignments whenever you feel like it. If you work better in the evening...great. Morning person...also great. YOU pick the times you study and do the coursework.
One warning...you have to be a dedicated self-starter and motivated to take the classes.
So, what is it that you want to do with your life? What college major are you aiming for? With your attitude...I bet you'll do well. Overcoming obstacles are a part of growing up and becoming your own person, whether you be hearing or deaf, walking or in a wheelchair. We ALL have to overcome personal obstacles.
There are those who are sheltered. I don't know RJ so I can't say how he was brought up, but I CAN tell you how I was brought up, and I was very sheltered. It's apart of a lot of disabled people's lives, and it's not our fault. Like I said in my other post, be gentle with your posts. You don't know what goes on in the lives of others. It's not good to judge. Especially, when you don't know all the facts.
