How true is your "loyalty" to deaf-world

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A said:
When it comes to raising deaf children together, a hearing person ususally want to raise him hearing while a deaf person wants to raise him deaf. I'm sure there is alot of conflict in the marriage because of cultural differences on how they view deafness. Especially nowadays, when deciding to implant your deaf child.
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Well with me, I was discussing that with my guy and he was like he really didn't have a preference as long as the child was healthy. I told him that I would prefer to raise him or her hearing but school him or her about deaf culture. No conflict over here.
 
A said:
They have been saying that for years. They don't want deaf to marry deaf. yet, at the same time some hearing people don't want to marry us either. Yeah, no sex for us. I'm glad some hearing are not afraid, and some are willing to learn ASL but some of them make me sick (like my deaf sister's hearing husbands).
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LOLLOLOLOl Why so, A?@hearing husbands But I do agree with you about Hearies as one has called them wanting to learn about ASL. I'm just confused. If you want to preserve so much of the Deaf World, why have classes the culture or classes allowing hearies in or just anything like that? Maybe I'm making a mole out of a molehill but I'm simply a curious young lady that is willing to step on toes to know the answers to what's what.
 
donotfeedbsugar said:
LOLLOLOLOl Why so, A?@hearing husbands But I do agree with you about Hearies as one has called them wanting to learn about ASL. I'm just confused. If you want to preserve so much of the Deaf World, why have classes the culture or classes allowing hearies in or just anything like that? Maybe I'm making a mole out of a molehill but I'm simply a curious young lady that is willing to step on toes to know the answers to what's what.
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What gives you the impression hearies are allowed in?
 
donotfeedbsugar said:
Well with me, I was discussing that with my guy and he was like he really didn't have a preference as long as the child was healthy. I told him that I would prefer to raise him or her hearing but school him or her about deaf culture. No conflict over here.
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I afraid it is more difficult than you think. Just about everyone say they don't have a preference as long as the baby is healthy When a parents are faced with decisions, especially about CI, everything changes. He will suddenly care how his child will be raised. You too. You say you want your child to be expose to the deaf culture, you may not want that anymore because of the decision you have to make to get her to be part of the hearing world.

About permission for them to learn ASL, Deaf people do very much socialize with them, They love to get to know them which is why some get upset when a hearing person don't sign. so most of them are not a close off society as you think. Although, I'm sure there are few who do not want anything to do with hearing people because they don't trust them (especially about honest with them or even trust them to include them into a conversation or what's going on, etc.)
 
donotfeedbsugar said:
Wow!!!! But....why? I honestly didn't know that.
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Don't worry about the medical reason of why but look at the culture reason. look at it this way, it is hard enough to get to know someone else well enough to say you really, really love them. Then to have to turn around and have to deal with their culture issues makes the relationship much more chanceable to failure. Ever notice this?? Plenty of blacks male will marry white girls but few white males will marry black girls. By the same token, deaf males will marry hearing girls but few hearing males will marry deaf girls.
It all comes down to culture and the ability of the individual to set aside the teaching of his parents. Remember, the guy/gal is more certain to have hearing parents than deaf parents. So, the guy/gal is already caught between two cultures growing up and that forms their individual set of standards to be applied to their mate.
 
Bottesini said:
What gives you the impression hearies are allowed in?
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You don't feel that way? I feel that they are "allowed in" in the respect of they want to learn the language, want to learn about deaf culture, they want to interact with the deaf and whatnot. I would say they will never be "allowed in" in terms of what we experience but the fact that they want to know about our culture...*shrugs* whats' your take?
 
A said:
I afraid it is more difficult than you think. Just about everyone say they don't have a preference as long as the baby is healthy When a parents are faced with decisions, especially about CI, everything changes. He will suddenly care how his child will be raised. You too. You say you want your child to be expose to the deaf culture, you may not want that anymore because of the decision you have to make to get her to be part of the hearing world.

About permission for them to learn ASL, Deaf people do very much socialize with them, They love to get to know them which is why some get upset when a hearing person don't sign. so most of them are not a close off society as you think. Although, I'm sure there are few who do not want anything to do with hearing people because they don't trust them (especially about honest with them or even trust them to include them into a conversation or what's going on, etc.)
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Wow....so much absorption! I love it! I had the same problem coming up where a deaf teacher, hearing teacher who knows asl and deaf/hoh students didn't want to have anything to do with me because I didn't know sign. I was stuck in a rock and a hard place because I was in speech classes after I got sick from meningitis at 4. My parents wanted me to first develop my speech before I learned sign. When that time came around, nobody wanted anything to do with me. They would get angry with an HOH that wanted to LEARN SIGN but COULDN'T SIGN. Ah, hard times but got through it.
 
I know one dod who's married to a hearing man. She's very much a part of the Deaf culture.
 
rolling7 said:
Don't worry about the medical reason of why but look at the culture reason. look at it this way, it is hard enough to get to know someone else well enough to say you really, really love them. Then to have to turn around and have to deal with their culture issues makes the relationship much more chanceable to failure. Ever notice this?? Plenty of blacks male will marry white girls but few white males will marry black girls. By the same token, deaf males will marry hearing girls but few hearing males will marry deaf girls.
It all comes down to culture and the ability of the individual to set aside the teaching of his parents. Remember, the guy/gal is more certain to have hearing parents than deaf parents. So, the guy/gal is already caught between two cultures growing up and that forms their individual set of standards to be applied to their mate.
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Ohhhhhhhh.....:hmm: that's mad interesting...I didn't think about it like that.
 
A said:
When it comes to raising deaf children together, a hearing person ususally want to raise him hearing while a deaf person wants to raise him deaf. I'm sure there is alot of conflict in the marriage because of cultural differences on how they view deafness. Especially nowadays, when deciding to implant your deaf child.
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Oh dear, that old canard rears it's head yet again. :roll:
 
Canard=An unfounded or false, deliberately misleading story
 
how can she say that if she doesn't know every situation Some people like their child to be raised oral and some don't. (of course, they never marry someone like that )
 
A said:
how can she say that if she doesn't know every situation Some people like their child to be raised oral and some don't. (of course, they never marry someone like that...)
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I seem to have misquoted something. What I was referring to is that many hearing think sign language isolates deaf from the hearing world. I can't find the post.
 
deafskeptic said:
I seem to have misquoted something. What I was referring to is that many hearing think sign language isolates deaf from the hearing world. I can't find the post.
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oh ok.. I was just trying to point out why deaf people prefer to marry someone with the same value as they do. Afterall kokonut turns me off at time. Sorry, kokonut, no offense :)
 
A said:
oh ok.. I was just trying to point out why deaf people prefer to marry someone with the same value as they do. Afterall kokonut turns me off at time. Sorry, kokonut, no offense :)
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Ah. I have him on ignore.
 
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