How to save residental programs?

[Oceanbreeze]

OCB..I love your attidue.

I guess I am just feeling pissed off because some of my students got moved to hearing teacher's classrooms because they want hearing teachers to meet their CI needs.


I figured...again I am being discriminated by these hearing people (not you), why not just do away with any Deaf programs while they are at it. Kick me anf dmany other staffs out of our fields and render us unemployed.

Nothing new under the sun getting constantly discrimainated against.

People here, even deaf members, hate the concept of dorms. I have to take their word for it as they experienced it personally, not me.

So..iam trying to find a solution to this mess. I am NOT a miracle worker. I need support. If I don't get it..then I won't give up my life for it. Sorry.

OB..I agree with u on all counts but many others don't. The majority speaks, heh?

Thats the sad thing, Shel. The programs that these kids needs WILL be cut. Schools WILL be closed and not because they are unsafe. They'll be closed because oral only takes precedence, and, that sucks. You have every right to be angry. Its when that anger turns to bitterness that it becomes unhealthy. That's all I'm saying.

I hear YOU. But, I also hear what a lot of the others are saying too. It sounds like the issue (at least in this country) isn't that the schools are unsafe. It's that oral only is taking away from the funding. It's taking away jobs. All the good TODs seem to be heading towards the oral schools. Why? Because that's where the funding is going. It's sad. REALLY sad.

I wish I could say I know everything that goes on. I don't. I just have read your posts and that of Deafbajagirl and I empathize. I can't change the world (and unfortunately neither can you). But, what I CAN DO is support you and others, and continue to follow my beliefs. It's the best that I CAN do. Maybe, that's also part of the problem? You're trying to hard to change everything. Hon, you can't. The only thing you can do is be the best TOD you can be. It may not be enough. I don't know, but, if you can just help ONE child IT IS enough!

A little off point, but this goes to show how one person can help a child.

As you know, I was in the hospital a LOT as a child. Therefore, I was tutored a lot. When I was about six, I was recuperating from hip surgery and had a tutor. I was not yet mainstreamed, but, they were thinking about it. However, I could barely write my own name in the first grade. I couldn't read. It was a nightmare. But, in less than ONE YEAR, this woman took me from a PreK level and brought me up to grade level. I wasn't mainstreamed for two more years, but, if it wasn't for that tutor, I would have entered mainstream classes very far behind. I credit that tutor for teaching me to read and write. There are some gems out there, Shel. And, all it takes is ONE.

 

[LuciaDisturbed]

faire joure, I'm not suggesting that ALL poor dhh kids be shipped off to res schools. Just that maybe it might be a better placement then an inner city school where there's not even toilet paper or the textbooks and equiptment are VERY outdated, and where there's drugs and gangs?

I have gone to inner city schools since the age of 3. No TP? Please. Don't exaggerate. In my experience, we had plenty of toilet paper, updated textbooks. Textbooks, while they may be a bit used, but still are in quite good condition. At the end of the year, when students return their textbooks, they are inspected and if there is any major damage or a lot of writings on them, the students are charged but, not for the whole book, but for the extent of the damage itself. The schools replace them every couple years as well, earlier if something major in history happens such as Obama (being the first black president in US history). Equipments outdated? No, not in my experience. They've done quite well with the resources they have. They have updated computers. They have great wood shop equipment. They have decent tables and desks. Decent blackboards (or chalkboards if you call it that). They have whiteboards (which I love more than blackboards...I hate chalk). The chairs are attached to the desks, so there's no "borrowing" that results in losing either the desk or the chair. The overhead projection may be considered outdated by "wealthy" schools but in my opinion I think they are awesome and I would love to get my hands on one if I could, for my art purposes. They have technology to teach driving ed...I forgot what they are called but they simulate driving in a car on the streets/freeways. They currently have DVD players and educational DVDs nowadays. Plain uniforms are required to be worn by all inner city middle and high school students nowadays to cut down on gang problems and bullying and also bullying that could lead to school shootings and cliques (you know, popularity bullying and teasing based on what you wear to school) as well as cutting down on inappropriate clothes that are revealing (like short shorts, halter tops, etc, anything that would turn a guy on and distract from education). If you think each student should be given a laptop by the schools and stuff, that is a bit too much to expect. They can use the computers in the computer lab or in the library. I have gone to inner city school from age 3 til the age of 18 in between my stints at the residential school for the deaf, and they are not really that bad. And I have observed the inner city public schools here in San Antonio - the uniforms are enforced here too because the gang problems here is serious. And as far as drugs and weapons in schools, both in the inner city schools that I have attended and here in San Antonio as well, both here and where I used to live, they now have metal detectors to search for weapons and, from what I have heard, they also have drug-sniffing K-9 dogs at the school entrances to sniff for weed and other drugs. ALL the students are also required to wear clear plastic backpacks so that teachers and staff can see if there are weapons or drugs. They began enforcing that ever since the school shootings have began to happen all over the country (it began when I was a senior in high school I believe...1998 or 1999). Walmart sells them by the truckloads now as well as the school uniforms. Yes, Walmart sells school uniforms too...they get a list of all the public schools and on it shows what school wants what type of uniforms. Each school have different uniforms so that if you are caught outside of school the police will know you are truant and which school you attend, and either you get in trouble or the police just brings you back to your school and makes sure you get into your class. Like for one school on Walzem you wear beige/tan pants and a red top with a blue and two white stripes across the chest. For another school it would be a dark grey polo shirt with the school symbol embroidered onto the upper left chest area it and either tan or beige khakis. And yet another public school actually has the "catholic private school" type of uniforms with plaid dresses (yes, dresses, no skirts nor pants are allowed - skirts aren't allowed because they can be manipulated and pants can be bought to be made tight enough to be revealing for the teenage girls - the dress is a pull-over type) and white blouses for teenage girls, and for the teenage boys they wear white polo shirts with the school symbol embroidered onto the upper left area of the chest, and dark grey khakis. I could go all night with this but this is not all. There is a lot more. You may think inner city schools can be run down and ugly and with spray graffitis on the walls inside the school. Guess what? Nope. They stopped that nonsense years ago. Most of the schools here in San Antonio require different uniforms for different schools. Only maybe two or three middle or high schools don't require them, it's mostly the elementary schools that don't require them because there's not a big problem there.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

I have gone to inner city schools since the age of 3. No TP? Please. Don't exaggerate. In my experience, we had plenty of toilet paper, updated textbooks. Textbooks, while they may be a bit used, but still are in quite good condition. At the end of the year, when students return their textbooks, they are inspected and if there is any major damage or a lot of writings on them, the students are charged but, not for the whole book, but for the extent of the damage itself. The schools replace them every couple years as well, earlier if something major in history happens such as Obama (being the first black president in US history). Equipments outdated? No, not in my experience. They've done quite well with the resources they have. They have updated computers. They have great wood shop equipment. They have decent tables and desks. Decent blackboards (or chalkboards if you call it that). They have whiteboards (which I love more than blackboards...I hate chalk). The chairs are attached to the desks, so there's no "borrowing" that results in losing either the desk or the chair. The overhead projection may be considered outdated by "wealthy" schools but in my opinion I think they are awesome and I would love to get my hands on one if I could, for my art purposes. They have technology to teach driving ed...I forgot what they are called but they simulate driving in a car on the streets/freeways. They currently have DVD players and educational DVDs nowadays. Plain uniforms are required to be worn by all inner city middle and high school students nowadays to cut down on gang problems and bullying and also bullying that could lead to school shootings and cliques (you know, popularity bullying and teasing based on what you wear to school) as well as cutting down on inappropriate clothes that are revealing (like short shorts, halter tops, etc, anything that would turn a guy on and distract from education). If you think each student should be given a laptop by the schools and stuff, that is a bit too much to expect. They can use the computers in the computer lab or in the library. I have gone to inner city school from age 3 til the age of 18 in between my stints at the residential school for the deaf, and they are not really that bad. And I have observed the inner city public schools here in San Antonio - the uniforms are enforced here too because the gang problems here is serious. And as far as drugs and weapons in schools, both in the inner city schools that I have attended and here in San Antonio as well, both here and where I used to live, they now have metal detectors to search for weapons and, from what I have heard, they also have drug-sniffing K-9 dogs at the school entrances to sniff for weed and other drugs. ALL the students are also required to wear clear plastic backpacks so that teachers and staff can see if there are weapons or drugs. They began enforcing that ever since the school shootings have began to happen all over the country (it began when I was a senior in high school I believe...1998 or 1999). Walmart sells them by the truckloads now as well as the school uniforms. Yes, Walmart sells school uniforms too...they get a list of all the public schools and on it shows what school wants what type of uniforms. Each school have different uniforms so that if you are caught outside of school the police will know you are truant and which school you attend, and either you get in trouble or the police just brings you back to your school and makes sure you get into your class. Like for one school on Walzem you wear beige/tan pants and a red top with a blue and two white stripes across the chest. For another school it would be a dark grey polo shirt with the school symbol embroidered onto the upper left chest area it and either tan or beige khakis. And yet another public school actually has the "catholic private school" type of uniforms with plaid dresses (yes, dresses, no skirts nor pants are allowed - skirts aren't allowed because they can be manipulated and pants can be bought to be made tight enough to be revealing for the teenage girls - the dress is a pull-over type) and white blouses for teenage girls, and for the teenage boys they wear white polo shirts with the school symbol embroidered onto the upper left area of the chest, and dark grey khakis. I could go all night with this but this is not all. There is a lot more. You may think inner city schools can be run down and ugly and with spray graffitis on the walls inside the school. Guess what? Nope. They stopped that nonsense years ago. Most of the schools here in San Antonio require different uniforms for different schools. Only maybe two or three middle or high schools don't require them, it's mostly the elementary schools that don't require them because there's not a big problem there.

I have DD on ignore, so I'm quoting Lucia.

DD,

If you read the thread you'll see why many people are twitchy about Res schools. They have good reason to be because of their histories. I know you were addresing FJ, but, a residential school isn't for everyone. Now, if you also read my other comments, you'll see I'm not for closing them down. They have their place. But, listen to me... You call yourself an advocate. As such, you need to be able to LISTEN to parents and go with what they feel is best for their child; even if YOU feel differently. To be a good advocate for someone, you have to be able to look at both sides of the issue and be able to take the middle ground. Being narrow and biased in your view isn't going to make you a good advocate. It's just going to make people tune you out and go a different route that may or may not be in that kids' best interest.

 

[LuciaDisturbed]

Have you forgotten that I work everyday in a program that is nothing but kids who have been failed? I work with 20 year olds who can't read or write. My mother dropped out of school in ninth grade, my father in FIFTH. I am well aware of the horrors of being failed by the system.

My mother only had a 8th grade education (she was in foster care and had me at 16 years old), and my grandmother never finished either middle or high school, I can't remember which. She got married 4 times and had seven kids total and now she's with another guy. She did finish school, though, by getting a GED and she wrote a book as well a few years ago. Her last husband, who I considered my grandpa (they were married for a very long time, ever since I could remember) was wonderful, I called him my grandpa because he was so good to my grandmother whereas the previous three husbands were horrible to my grandmother. Unfortunately, my grandpa died three years ago, though. Now she has a boyfriend, for which I am glad about because I don't want her to be lonely. He seems nice. I don't trust him yet though. If I hear that he hurt my grandma, he's going to be so sorry, I swear. I dropped out of school myself, but got my high school diploma from the community college after getting my first apartment at the halfway house.

When I have children, I will make it a rule in my house, that they are to attend college or get a job when they turn 18 if they want to stay in my house past age 18. If they do not want to go to college they will have to get a job and pay me rent, or get their own apartment. I do not want them to be without a college diploma or be without a job. I want my children to succeed. I will not allow them to fail under my roof or fall through the cracks. I want this school dropout/foster care/spousal-child-sexual abuse cycle in my family to stop. This cycle has been going on for at least 3 generations, and I do not want to pass it down to my future children. I want to see them succeed, us grow up together as a family, and learn to treat each other with kindness and I want the male children to learn that men abusing women, girlfriends, boyfriends, or their husbands (if gay marriage becomes legal countrywide) or even other men is not acceptable and also that they do not have to live with being abused either, and I want the female children to learn that it is not ok to abuse and that they do not have to live with being abused by their husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, life partners, spouses, and even wives (if gay marriage becomes legal countrywide - so far we only have a few states...). I want both my male and female kids to learn that sexual abuse is not okay and to know what sexual abuse is, and to tell me immediately if it happens.

 

[LuciaDisturbed]

No, that proposal was for poor people in general. Deaf people could be fed to the hungry. Here's some research on the subject for you.

Hmm, quite an idea, though -- do you really think I should sterilize my child?

That's sick!

 

[deafdyke]

Oceanbreeze, I'm NOT advocating for residental placement for ALL dhh kids. In fact, if you had read up a few posts, you would see that I said that I think most dhh students can be well served by regional programs. I'm all for continum of placement I was simply hypothesizing if maybe it might be a useful placement for SOME students. SOME.....and it does seem like a lot of people agree. Yes, I know that this subject makes people really twitchy. I think a lot of people misread my hypothesis as advocating for returning to sending all dhh kids to res school. I was simply hypothesizing that maybe it might be a good tool for kids who were facing really bad or unusual situtions. I have read a lot about how bad things were. It wasn't exactly like Willowbrook or the other insistutions for mentally handicapped children......but it does seem like residental ed= really bad conditions for many kids for many many years....and that wasn't even limited to facillites for educating disabled kids. Kids who attended those old fashioned convent schools or schools like Eton (in the UK) often experianced a lot of bad stuff too. I think too that our older members who experianced the downsides of res school don't realize that things may have changed. Yes, there's still the fact that little kids need family time, but a lot of the bad stuff has been gotten rid of or reformed.

Residential schools can be bad or it can be good. It depends on the situation and reasons and on the child and the environment the residential school has that has some kind of an impact on the child - good or bad, etc.

Thank you Lucia!!! That was my point. I can see how res schools could be horrible (and were prolly really bad back in the day) But they could also be a really good. placement for SOME kids. And I mean, I was kind of thinking of you when I posted my hypothesis. A res school can and does provide stabilty to foster kids, who would otherwise be moved around or sent to children's homes. (and I thought most kids at children's homes had significent emotional isses) I remember an old member, Lady Duke was also a foster kid who grew up at res school. I think we all agree that most dhh students would prolly benifit from attending formal sizable day programs, and that shouldn't change at all. It actually does seem that nowadays a P-12 experiance at the same Deaf School is pretty rare.....and I mean if a "typical dhh" kid does res school, they usually wait til middle or high school or at least upper elementary ages....and that's actually a pretty good idea. The dorms were started b/c back in the day, this country was SUPER rural, and it was hard for kids to travel long distances just for school. Also, most public schools weren't open to special needs kids.
Actually, Lucia posting reminded me........I do know that there are programs like the Walden School (at TLC) and the Willams Center at Austine School for the Deaf, as well as a few others for Dhh students with behavorial or other mental health issues....
That might also influence placement. I mean it's not that unusual for hearing kids with significent behavorial or mental health issues to have to resort to a residental placement for schooling (and I'm not even talking about the really bad kids, like the ones on probation for drugs or whatever) Heck, they started a residental program for autistic dhh kids at Austine (and there ARE residental programs for hearing autistic kids too!)
Lucia, that is horrible about that guy! At least he's in jail. I hope he has a very very long sentence.

 

[deafdyke]

From the way it looks, residential placements were pretty awful for those who were in them 20-40 yrs ago or so. YOU CANNOT discount that and nobody should. But, your point is well taken. You can't let a kid slip through the cracks, either, because that's just as damaging. So, the question becomes what do you do? You can't forget the past because history will repeat itself. Letting a school stay open under an abusive regime will have tragic consequences for students for possibly decades to come. You just can't ignore that. ...

Oceanbreeze, small correction.....I would say that the residental placements were in the process of being reformed probaly around 25 ish years ago. That is when a lot of changes (in the entire disabilty world) started taking effect. They weren't perfect no. But I do think that a lot of the "insistitional residental" issues (in the disabilty world) were in the process of being phased out around the time I was a kid. And you know, I do think that many of the older posters who experianced the downside of residental schools experianced them under an "insistutional residental"/ reform school/"children's home" mode, rather then something that could be positive. Decades ago, Deaf Schools and blind schools and schools for "crippled children" were more custodial "insistutional residental" Basicly exactly like the mentality that the stereotypical mentally handicapped insistutions used. And that's not a great methodology to run a school or residental insistution. Especially for students who are intellectucally normal. Now a days dorm life at a Deaf School can be more like you'd see at a hearing boarding school.

 

[deafgal001]

Actually, orphanages do still exist. I was in one for three years, from age 13 til 16. It was NO fun. Trust me. It was a living hell. They still exist. They just call them "children's home" now.

Group homes are different - they are for foster children with behavioral problems.


Yes they do - a lot. I've been in seven foster homes/placements/children's homes over a period of 5 years.

yes, I know about group homes. In fact, majority of my hearing friends from high school were in a group home. I love them and they will be my friend forever if I ever see them again. But they are long gone as they never stay there. they come and go.

My next door neighbor was a foster parent. unfortunely mom had problems with them as they kept breaking into her house (this was after I left home. Thankfully, there wasn't anything for them to steal.. all our stuffs were thift store things). But she tries to be patience with these kids as she understood them because she came from a broken home herself. her mom (my grandmother) had to divorce her husband for abuse ... my grandma picked up her things and her kids and just left him. Hence why I said my parents have their own problems to deal with (it's hard to forget about your abusive past) but i do not want to be taken away from them.

If you want to end cycle of abuse... do what my grandma done, pick up your things and just leave at the first sign of abuse.

 

[Speedy Hawk]

I loved my residential Deaf school. I sleep there at least 2 nights a week sometimes 3. I wished I was full time dorm student but I lived too near for this so I cannot. It was in my high school year. It was best time of my life. I wished I went residential Deaf school from the start (BSL one) and would be better off because my parents are 100% oral and very overprotective and won't allow me do loads of things, I always at home in my bedroom, never allow go anywhere except swimming because Mum think swimming is important.

My school give student choice, when they first come they can sleep 1 night or few nights or 1 whole week before deciding if they want to be full time dorm or part time or go home every day. They can start 1 night a week or part time dorm for 2/3 months before deciding to stay the same or be full time dorm or go home everyday.

Every child is different, it depends on their home life, depends on what dorm life is like that school, depends how they feel sleeping away from home, etc.

 

[Kalista]

My mother only had a 8th grade education (she was in foster care and had me at 16 years old), and my grandmother never finished either middle or high school, I can't remember which. She got married 4 times and had seven kids total and now she's with another guy. She did finish school, though, by getting a GED and she wrote a book as well a few years ago. Her last husband, who I considered my grandpa (they were married for a very long time, ever since I could remember) was wonderful, I called him my grandpa because he was so good to my grandmother whereas the previous three husbands were horrible to my grandmother. Unfortunately, my grandpa died three years ago, though. Now she has a boyfriend, for which I am glad about because I don't want her to be lonely. He seems nice. I don't trust him yet though. If I hear that he hurt my grandma, he's going to be so sorry, I swear. I dropped out of school myself, but got my high school diploma from the community college after getting my first apartment at the halfway house.

When I have children, I will make it a rule in my house, that they are to attend college or get a job when they turn 18 if they want to stay in my house past age 18. If they do not want to go to college they will have to get a job and pay me rent, or get their own apartment. I do not want them to be without a college diploma or be without a job. I want my children to succeed. I will not allow them to fail under my roof or fall through the cracks. I want this school dropout/foster care/spousal-child-sexual abuse cycle in my family to stop. This cycle has been going on for at least 3 generations, and I do not want to pass it down to my future children. I want to see them succeed, us grow up together as a family, and learn to treat each other with kindness and I want the male children to learn that men abusing women, girlfriends, boyfriends, or their husbands (if gay marriage becomes legal countrywide) or even other men is not acceptable and also that they do not have to live with being abused either, and I want the female children to learn that it is not ok to abuse and that they do not have to live with being abused by their husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, life partners, spouses, and even wives (if gay marriage becomes legal countrywide - so far we only have a few states...). I want both my male and female kids to learn that sexual abuse is not okay and to know what sexual abuse is, and to tell me immediately if it happens.

I am very impressed that you really wanted to stop cycle from third generations. Important, open communication with children, always be there for them until you die. I always be there for my two sons even although I am single Mom. Now they are almost 25 and 24 years old. I do still be there for them.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

yes, I know about group homes. In fact, majority of my hearing friends from high school were in a group home. I love them and they will be my friend forever if I ever see them again. But they are long gone as they never stay there. they come and go.

My next door neighbor was a foster parent. unfortunely mom had problems with them as they kept breaking into her house (this was after I left home. Thankfully, there wasn't anything for them to steal.. all our stuffs were thift store things). But she tries to be patience with these kids as she understood them because she came from a broken home herself. her mom (my grandmother) had to divorce her husband for abuse ... my grandma picked up her things and her kids and just left him. Hence why I said my parents have their own problems to deal with (it's hard to forget about your abusive past) but i do not want to be taken away from them.

If you want to end cycle of abuse... do what my grandma done, pick up your things and just leave at the first sign of abuse.

Thats it in a nutshell. However, many don't. Abuse needs to be addressed on a multitude of levels.

Foster homes and group homes have their place, but, they are NOT the ideal situation to raise a child in. In the best case scenerio, the child is bounced from home to home. In the worst case scenerio, these group homes are no better than the situation the child often is taken out of. Same for residential placements. You have good ones, but, you also have bad ones. The ones that are bad are often VERY bad.

This is a problem that DOES NOT have an easy fix. You need to fix the educational system in this country. Completely overhaul it. Same goes for the foster care system. Mental health is another area that needs to have someone take a good look at it.

Residential placements of every type must be safe for the children who find themselves in them; be it a residential school, therapeutic residential placement for the mentally ill/low functioning individual, or, the traditional foster home. It's really NOT as simple as "Get out". That's the first step, but, what happens once that happens? The person has to have a safe place to go, and often, those places are few and far between.

 

[deafgal001]

I was talking about preventing cycle of abuse to LuciaDisturbed. she want to end the cycle when she become a mother, and as my advice to her, She does have control to end it.

 

[deafdyke]

I

wished I was full time dorm student but I lived too near for this so I cannot. It was in my high school year. It was best time of my life. I wished I went residential Deaf school from the start (BSL one) and would be better off because my parents are 100% oral and very overprotective and won't allow me do loads of things, I always at home in my bedroom, never allow go anywhere except swimming because Mum think swimming is important.

My school give student choice, when they first come they can sleep 1 night or few nights or 1 whole week before deciding if they want to be full time dorm or part time or go home every day. They can start 1 night a week or part time dorm for 2/3 months before deciding to stay the same or be full time dorm or go home everyday.

Speedy Hawk, you bring up a good point! A res school placement for high school would be AWESOME for a lot of kids, as it would help them with independant living skills. One HUGE thing that I see with kids with all sorts of disabilties, is that they are VERY sheltered and not independant. Living at school could help them aquire a lot of independant living skills and become LESS sheltered and more independent.
And I have to say that I think that Speedy's school has a great option.....trying out the residental program!
I do think that with certified Student Life Specialists and other rules and safety nets, that a lot of the problems that dorm kids in past decades experianced, have been much minimized. It's not perfect, no ....and most of the time kids should wait til they are at least fourth grade or higher before being in the dorm. And yes, it's bad that kids have to live away from their parents sometimes, but sometimes it might be unavoidable.

 

[faire_jour]

I
Speedy Hawk, you bring up a good point! A res school placement for high school would be AWESOME for a lot of kids, as it would help them with independant living skills. One HUGE thing that I see with kids with all sorts of disabilties, is that they are VERY sheltered and not independant. Living at school could help them aquire a lot of independant living skills and become LESS sheltered and more independent.
And I have to say that I think that Speedy's school has a great option.....trying out the residental program!
I do think that with certified Student Life Specialists and other rules and safety nets, that a lot of the problems that dorm kids in past decades experianced, have been much minimized. It's not perfect, no ....and most of the time kids should wait til they are at least fourth grade or higher before being in the dorm. And yes, it's bad that kids have to live away from their parents sometimes, but sometimes it might be unavoidable.

How is your attitude towards residential schools any different than those who promote oralism? You discount the experiences of those who have been through it, you say "It was a different time" and "things are better now", and "It doesn't work for everyone, but it is great for some". Isn't that the exact same things they do and you HATE?

 

[Banjo]

Maybe you should try to find a way to get the school to resolve this situation.

With the way the government of Ontario deal with sexual predators... it's not happening anytime soon.

 

[Banjo]

Sir James Whitney School for the Deaf in Ontario
In 1991, the Ontario Ministry of Education and Training did a Review of Student Care. Based on the recommendations of the report, a number of policies and procedures were developed and put in place to ensure the safety of the students. Advocates for the students were assigned to all schools as an independent safeguard. A strict zero tolerance policy for any abuse was adopted.

What a joke. They are all talk and no action.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

My mother only had a 8th grade education (she was in foster care and had me at 16 years old), and my grandmother never finished either middle or high school, I can't remember which. She got married 4 times and had seven kids total and now she's with another guy. She did finish school, though, by getting a GED and she wrote a book as well a few years ago. Her last husband, who I considered my grandpa (they were married for a very long time, ever since I could remember) was wonderful, I called him my grandpa because he was so good to my grandmother whereas the previous three husbands were horrible to my grandmother. Unfortunately, my grandpa died three years ago, though. Now she has a boyfriend, for which I am glad about because I don't want her to be lonely. He seems nice. I don't trust him yet though. If I hear that he hurt my grandma, he's going to be so sorry, I swear. I dropped out of school myself, but got my high school diploma from the community college after getting my first apartment at the halfway house.

When I have children, I will make it a rule in my house, that they are to attend college or get a job when they turn 18 if they want to stay in my house past age 18. If they do not want to go to college they will have to get a job and pay me rent, or get their own apartment. I do not want them to be without a college diploma or be without a job. I want my children to succeed. I will not allow them to fail under my roof or fall through the cracks. I want this school dropout/foster care/spousal-child-sexual abuse cycle in my family to stop. This cycle has been going on for at least 3 generations, and I do not want to pass it down to my future children. I want to see them succeed, us grow up together as a family, and learn to treat each other with kindness and I want the male children to learn that men abusing women, girlfriends, boyfriends, or their husbands (if gay marriage becomes legal countrywide) or even other men is not acceptable and also that they do not have to live with being abused either, and I want the female children to learn that it is not ok to abuse and that they do not have to live with being abused by their husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, life partners, spouses, and even wives (if gay marriage becomes legal countrywide - so far we only have a few states...). I want both my male and female kids to learn that sexual abuse is not okay and to know what sexual abuse is, and to tell me immediately if it happens.

This is all well in good, but, people with degrees also abuse children and their wives. You want to end the cycle abuse, educate your children that it just isn't acceptable to tolerate it. Then, if they still find themselves in a bad situation, you tell them to get the Hell out! You provide them shelter or whatever they need. The reason this crap perpetuates itself is because we're not educating our sons, daughters, nieces, and, nephews that it's NOT OK. Boys think its OK to hit girls. Girls think its OK that they be hit. Same with sexual violence. The messages our kids are getting are all messed around, and, this is what must stop. This is NOT a subject that has just one answer to it. There are many things that need to happen to stop abuse and protect our children, women, and yes, MEN who are being abused.

It would be awesome if it was simple, but, it isn't.

But, abuse is only one part of the residential school issue. The title of this thread is how do we save them? I've yet to hear some ideas. Anybody??

 

[deafskeptic]

This is all well in good, but, people with degrees also abuse children and their wives. You want to end the cycle abuse, educate your children that it just isn't acceptable to tolerate it. Then, if they still find themselves in a bad situation, you tell them to get the Hell out! You provide them shelter or whatever they need. The reason this crap perpetuates itself is because we're not educating our sons, daughters, nieces, and, nephews that it's NOT OK. Boys think its OK to hit girls. Girls think its OK that they be hit. Same with sexual violence. The messages our kids are getting are all messed around, and, this is what must stop. This is NOT a subject that has just one answer to it. There are many things that need to happen to stop abuse and protect our children, women, and yes, MEN who are being abused.

It would be awesome if it was simple, but, it isn't.

But, abuse is only one part of the residential school issue. The title of this thread is how do we save them? I've yet to hear some ideas. Anybody??

Just because someone has a college degree doesn't mean they won't be abusive to others. I see too many who are educated who think that it's acceptable to use belts and paddles to punish children.

 

[deafskeptic]

Just because someone has a college degree doesn't mean they won't be abusive to others. I see too many who are educated who think that it's acceptable to use belts and paddles to punish children.

Or worse.

 

[Speedy Hawk]

I
Speedy Hawk, you bring up a good point! A res school placement for high school would be AWESOME for a lot of kids, as it would help them with independant living skills. One HUGE thing that I see with kids with all sorts of disabilties, is that they are VERY sheltered and not independant. Living at school could help them aquire a lot of independant living skills and become LESS sheltered and more independent.
And I have to say that I think that Speedy's school has a great option.....trying out the residental program!
I do think that with certified Student Life Specialists and other rules and safety nets, that a lot of the problems that dorm kids in past decades experianced, have been much minimized. It's not perfect, no ....and most of the time kids should wait til they are at least fourth grade or higher before being in the dorm. And yes, it's bad that kids have to live away from their parents sometimes, but sometimes it might be unavoidable.

Yep, that main problem. Some parents don't allow their kids to learn how to do things for themselves because of overprotection or other reasons. At residential you have chance to learn yourself. My residential school have student cook for everyone (10 students sleeping max) with one of staff helping or watching depending how well they can cook, kids have to make their own bedrooms, clean etc. Also staff can help with homework and more likely able help you understand than parents can. You don't need to be full time dorm to do this, even 1 night can do cooking, staff will make sure everyone had their turn.

Now the residential part is closing down this year because not enough students and more parents are moving closer to school. I think it real shame, activites also closed down.