How do you handle certain situations?

Sometimes it happens that you have a friend that really just needs someone to talk to. The framework of how this takes place becomes a
standardized thing. At least that is what I reading here. The giving legal advice has been a tried and true framework and enables her to get a lot of phonetime out of it. If you don't like it then change it. That's all.

You can change the conversational track just by firmly easing out of those kinds of questions. If legal advice interpretation and research for a situation that is not your own isn't your deal then say this, "Whoa, I am out of my league here".

Or, "I know I have done this in the past but now I am no longer comfortable with it".

Or, "I really hate this legal stuff, your killing me here".

Or, all of the above. If it is really tough for you then practice a few times before the next time. If you are wanting to do this in a certain way -- firm friendly, smiling, however you choose, assume that expression on your face and stay with it.

My advice is worth what you paid me for it okay?
Real friends are able to adjust to changes if they want to.
 
goodonya said:
Sometimes it happens that you have a friend that really just needs someone to talk to. The framework of how this takes place becomes a
standardized thing. At least that is what I reading here. The giving legal advice has been a tried and true framework and enables her to get a lot of phonetime out of it. If you don't like it then change it. That's all.

You can change the conversational track just by firmly easing out of those kinds of questions. If legal advice interpretation and research for a situation that is not your own isn't your deal then say this, "Whoa, I am out of my league here".

Or, "I know I have done this in the past but now I am no longer comfortable with it".

Or, "I really hate this legal stuff, your killing me here".

Or, all of the above. If it is really tough for you then practice a few times before the next time. If you are wanting to do this in a certain way -- firm friendly, smiling, however you choose, assume that expression on your face and stay with it.

My advice is worth what you paid me for it okay?
Real friends are able to adjust to changes if they want to.
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I'll probably tell her in person. Better that way.

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MomofmanyKidlets said:
My Dad is a Pastor of a church has been a Pastor all my life and he refuses to give legal advise for many reasons this is one... He tells a story of a man and a woman who where not married fighting over their child this was in the 80's (I remember this vividly by the way). The woman's friend who was helping her with legal matters went to court with her and look up law got into a verbal argument with the father of the child a very slight one. He left but two days later the father showed up at the guys work put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger. You don't want to be in the middle of anything between a couple and their child. If this man is being anything but man stay out of the way and out of his cross hairs.
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And you don't want to get between a man and his woman when they're having fight. My dad once saw a guy beating up a woman so dad went after the guy and the woman jumped on my dad for beating up her man. Dad was lucky the guy did not have a gun.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
And you don't want to get between a man and his woman when they're having fight. My dad once saw a guy beating up a woman so dad went after the guy and the woman jumped on my dad for beating up her man. Dad was lucky the guy did not have a gun.
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A family friend had story about that very thing. He was still recovering from the placement of a plate in his skull after the brain surgery that saved his life after returning from Normandy. He was following doctors orders to go walking as much as he could.
He happened upon a couple arguing. No big deal except it happened that the man hit the woman and was going for more. That was when he got a lesson for life.
He said the guy had just hit her again when he punched him out. His moment of being savior passed quickly. The lady beat him down to the ground by hitting him on the head right on the surgery area repeatedly with one of her spike high heels. He had to scramble away on hands and knees and then run away bleeding while they both laughed at him and insulted him.

He laughed when he told the story but he said the lesson was real. He had been shot nine times by the Germans and what nearly killed him was a crazy lady with a high heeled shoe.

I was just a kid but storytellers like that you pay attention to... :lol:
 
goodonya said:
A family friend had story about that very thing. He was still recovering from the placement of a plate in his skull after the brain surgery that saved his life after returning from Normandy. He was following doctors orders to go walking as much as he could.
He happened upon a couple arguing. No big deal except it happened that the man hit the woman and was going for more. That was when he got a lesson for life.
He said the guy had just hit her again when he punched him out. His moment of being savior passed quickly. The lady beat him down to the ground by hitting him on the head right on the surgery area repeatedly with one of her spike high heels. He had to scramble away on hands and knees and then run away bleeding while they both laughed at him and insulted him.

He laughed when he told the story but he said the lesson was real. He had been shot nine times by the Germans and what nearly killed him was a crazy lady with a high heeled shoe.

I was just a kid but storytellers like that you pay attention to... :lol:
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Yeah it's best to call the cops and let them handle the fight.
 
Legal Aid is free, Mark....and inasmuch as it's great ur trying to help someone...but since it's a Legal thing...I'd back off..you might get burned in the end!....

And as for the question of "How do you handle certain situations"?.... I gotta say..

"If you can't impress them with your brilliance....
Then baffle them with your bull----"...
 
rockin'robin said:
Legal Aid is free, Mark....and inasmuch as it's great ur trying to help someone...but since it's a Legal thing...I'd back off..you might get burned in the end!....

And as for the question of "How do you handle certain situations"?.... I gotta say..

"If you can't impress them with your brilliance....
Then baffle them with your bull----"...
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There's no legal stuff going on right now-- all she wants is a better understanding of how she has rights under IL law, and since I can quickly find the stuff much quicker than she can, and also, what I have already told her has NOT yet been questioned, mainly because I use websites that explain the law, but when she visits here on the 15th, I will suggest Legal Aid for her. Plus, the father isn't even trying to contest custody of the daughter, because under IL law, for that to happen, the father has to be legally present for the birth, which he wasn't, so he has very limited options. Very very few.

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ChicagoBlue2 said:
Here's the deal. I have a female friend who has a daughter, and the father is, shall I say, not very capable of doing things the way a father should be.

Now, this friend has been relying on me for various things, such as legal opinions (after looking up IL laws), and we have covered quite a few topics in a little more than 2 years, and I don't see it ending anytime soon, because not only do I know IL law, I am also the only person she trusts the most to help her with various aspects concerning her daughter.

Now..... as for you, have you ever had to help someone with their child's welfare or other matters?

I forgot to add one minor detail..... I've been at this for 32 months, and will soon be entering my 33rd month.
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no. do not look up IL laws. do not perform any google search for her. say "see a lawyer" repeatedly and keep repeating it.
 
Jiro said:
no. do not look up IL laws. do not perform any google search for her. say "see a lawyer" repeatedly and keep repeating it.
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I shall practice that. I have time until she gets here. It's not gonna be pleasant, though.

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ChicagoBlue2 said:
I shall practice that. I have time until she gets here. It's not gonna be pleasant, though.

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sure it won't be pleasant but better that than feeling responsible and guilty for legal mess because of your unqualified advice
 
Jiro said:
sure it won't be pleasant but better that than feeling responsible and guilty for legal mess because of your unqualified advice
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True. If I lose her as a friend, it would hurt, but I am hoping that she'll have the common sense to listen to my advice when I see her, cause I really shouldn't be giving it, anyhow. At least I'm not dumb enough to try and go all fancy, cause that would definitely land me in jail.

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ChicagoBlue2 said:
True. If I lose her as a friend, it would hurt, but I am hoping that she'll have the common sense to listen to my advice when I see her, cause I really shouldn't be giving it, anyhow. At least I'm not dumb enough to try and go all fancy, cause that would definitely land me in jail.

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jail? oh please... you're exaggerating again....

and trust me... losing her as a friend over this is the best choice for you because this doesn't look like a healthy, productive friendship to me. this sounds like a blackhole... pulling you into a realm of hell.
 
Jiro said:
jail? oh please... you're exaggerating again....

and trust me... losing her as a friend over this is the best choice for you because this doesn't look like a healthy, productive friendship to me. this sounds like a blackhole... pulling you into a realm of hell.
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Maybe I am, but in all honesty, I have no clue. And if I do lose her, you probably would be right-- that is, unless she has OTHER plans that she's hiding from me? :dunno:

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ChicagoBlue2 said:
True. If I lose her as a friend, it would hurt, but I am hoping that she'll have the common sense to listen to my advice when I see her, cause I really shouldn't be giving it, anyhow. At least I'm not dumb enough to try and go all fancy, cause that would definitely land me in jail.

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I really don't think this woman is a real good friend , it looking like she is using you . So what if it take longer for her to find thing online. You're really
are do doing her any favors , she'll never learn how to use the computer if you keep doing all the work for her. She needs to learn how to be more independent as a singular mother. The only way you could go to jail would be putting up a sign saying you where a lawyer and charging people money.
Have you done that too?
 
ChicagoBlue2 said:
...because under IL law, for that to happen, the father has to be legally present for the birth, which he wasn't, so he has very limited options. Very very few.

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That doesn't make sense. That would eliminate all the military fathers who serve overseas at birth time. Also, dads who get stuck in traffic, are ill, working out of town, or any other legitimate reasons for not attending the birth.

I wouldn't try to advise the woman AT ALL.
 
ChicagoBlue2 said:
True. If I lose her as a friend, it would hurt, but I am hoping that she'll have the common sense to listen to my advice when I see her, cause I really shouldn't be giving it, anyhow. At least I'm not dumb enough to try and go all fancy, cause that would definitely land me in jail.

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You have an irrational fear of going to jail.
 
having incapable husband myself then i would love someone like you as a friend,you saving her sanity,keep it up good friends hard to come by and worth more than gold
 
caz12 said:
having incapable husband myself then i would love someone like you as a friend,you saving her sanity,keep it up good friends hard to come by and worth more than gold
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He is keeping her from learning how to be on her own . If every women lost their 'sanity' every time something wrong in their relationship the hospital psychiatric units would be overflowing with 'crazy' women. I personally believe women are a lot stronger than you think they're. Just look at the women on this forum and what they had to overcome to get where they're today. Stop making women look weak!
 
Reba said:
That doesn't make sense. That would eliminate all the military fathers who serve overseas at birth time. Also, dads who get stuck in traffic, are ill, working out of town, or any other legitimate reasons for not attending the birth.

I wouldn't try to advise the woman AT ALL.
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Of course, military men are not included. I was referring to civilian fathers who aren't in the military.

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