How do I get my loved ones to remember that I'm losing my hearing?

aurakle said:
Although I appreciate all the advice, does anyone have any ideas that won't require me to abandon my friends or interrupt happy family gatherings by doing something incredibly annoying (to the family and to myself)? I know that I'll need new friends who are deaf, but I don't want to push my current friends or my family members away.
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Tell your your friends that you really love spending time with them but you need to have them talk louder and keep the background noise lower so you can be apart of the conversation too. You'll have to remind your friends as they will forget and start talking softer . You could try to talking to one friend that you really feel comfortable with and see if they be willing to remind others to talk so you can hear too. I really hope you'll be able to find a way to let your friends know what you're going through with out making them feel like they're doing anything wrong. You should be able to be straight forth with your family about feeling left out.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
Tell your your friends that you really love spending time with them but you need to have them talk louder and keep the background noise lower so you can be apart of the conversation too. You'll have to remind your friends as they will forget and start talking softer . You could try to talking to one friend that you really feel comfortable with and see if they be willing to remind others to talk so you can hear too. I really hope you'll be able to find a way to let your friends know what you're going through with out making them feel like they're doing anything wrong. You should be able to be straight forth with your family about feeling left out.
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I agree with this. If I were in your friends' position, I think this is the approach that'd get through to me. I also think if you have some friends you're really close to, then you ought to be able to be frank with them as well.
 
aurakle said:
I'm 24, I'm going deaf, and my friends and family are driving me crazy because they keep forgetting! My hearing loss has been so slow, so gradual, that I've acclimated along the way, learning to read lips and use context clues and body language to fill in a lot of what I miss. But now my hearing loss is finally getting to the point where all of that just isn't cutting it anymore.

I understand that they are used to me being able to hear them, at least for the most part, but now I just can't anymore. If there is more that 1 person I'm talking with and there is any kind of background noise, I get totally lost in the conversation, and they are so busy talking to each other that they don't always notice. I might say something a couple of times, reminding them to turn toward me so I can read their lips and to speak up, and of course they do for a while, but then they forget and go back to what they were doing. And I just don't want to say anything more than a few times because its so annoying.

For instance, I just went on a little road trip with a couple of girlfriends and I sat in the back of the car. They turned on music and started talking. Three times I said that I couldn't hear what they were saying and could they turn the music down and speak up. And of course they did, but every time they would eventually forget. I wound up sitting in the back basically in silence for most of the trip home because I was so frustrated and I didn't want to spoil their good time by going on and on about how I couldn't hear them and they were being inconsiderate. Not to mention, I don't think I should have to say that.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with situations like this without having to say "I can't hear you!" over and over?
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Story of my life.


Look, you've got two options:

1) You can continue down this path of isolation and frustration, continuing to put on the brave face everyday and meet the challenges of being a broken hearing person in the hearing world. It doesn't get any better, believe me. I was a few years older than you are now when I finally got frustrated and lonely enough to find this website and post the same exact thing as you just did.

2) You can start learning a mode of communication that was especially created just for people like you! You can start meeting people who know exactly what it feels like to be you! You can share a language, socialize, and get back your sense of identity and self-esteem. All you've got to do is make the choice. A - S - L


(there is a third option, actually. Since you still have a bit of useful residual hearing, and since your neural pathways have already been mapped for sound, you would be a perfect cochlear implant candidate, provided your ears and hearing loss are compatible with the technology. Many people in your situation have had incredible success from a CI. It's not for everyone, but it's something to consider. As for myself, I am a perfect candidate, according to audiologists. I chose to learn ASL. I don't regret my choice at all.)
 
I have found that I have drifted away from many of my old hearing friends. I still keep in touch with some of them and only visit occasionally... and when I do, I only visit with one or two of them at a time. Much easier to manage conversations when there is only one or two to keep track of.
 
Wirelessly posted

I am facing the exact same situation as you. I'm 24, and while have been losing my hearing for a while, it is finally getting severe enough to really hinder understanding speech. My family and friends are having problems adjusting too. One of my current tactics is to involve my friends and family with my deaf-oriented interests, like watching movies on deaf culture together or asl interpreted music videos that we all can enjoy. Also, showing then simulations of your type of hearing loss can kinda shock them into remembering. Good luck!
 
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