How did yer parent react.....

Anyone have own story about coming out?
 
umm, erm.... after a year, they still don't know. i want to wait until after i graduate from high school to tell them...
 
:jaw: I think you better tell your parents ASAP. The sooner the better. But of course you do know ur parents better than me.
 
redriding, don t be ashamed to tell them but don't be pressured at the same time do what u think is right and u can feel good abt urself in the due time! :)
 
I'm not ashamed of myself at all, almost my entire family knows that i'm bisexual, except my parents. They're hard-core christians, and they disagree with almost everything i say or do. For example, when I date outside of my race, they blow up, ground me, yell at me, give me the silence treatment, etc etcc etc, and that's just for a different skin color. They've expressed their feelings about the GLBT community, which is basically "ew." so that's why i'd rather wait until i'm 18, and out of their house when i tell them.
 
hmm i'm straight, i have always loved girls, i just wonder why so many deaf people are gay/lesbian? i wonder if its something in the mind that changes when they become deaf?
 
I think deafness has nothing to do with people being gay or lesbian. I think, if one has accepted already that he is deaf, then it is easier to accept other identities such as being gay. Homosexual tendencies is not a learned thing but happens naturally as heterosexual tendencies do.
 
SilenceGold said:
Looks like it took a lot of courage for you to admit it to your friends on AllDeaf. :D

Proud of you!
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:) Thank you. I can't be LIE. :-P


Irish Devil Dog said:
Wow, Lily.. I unddy what u mean by marry a guy in the future etc... Good luck to urself in the future :D
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Yeppie, Thank you :-P.. I hopefully .. They wont bust my ass off. hahaha
 
Yeppie, Thank you :-P.. I hopefully .. They wont bust my ass off. hahaha[/QUOTE]


I would save my ass too!!
 
Are u ready hear my story???

I was seprated my ex hubby in 2000.. so I moved back with my mom.. I started Stripper club (Monk's Club) on dec 24 2000.. I was waitress for order beers n other too.. Until end of Jan, i was break time on duty so i chatted with my few deaf friends came at my work.. then we talked, my ex boss was Bi n stripper too, she pulled me up on stage front the peep.. i told her no no i dont wanna be here.. so she say came on pls... then i say okay, danced on stage, she started unbutton my shirt off so i was oh shyt, i took my money tips out of my bra to my friend to hold for me.. then later, she took my bra off, i was soooooooooooooooooooooooo :Oops: do that.. jeez! then she lay down n wanna me crawl to her, my tongue lick to her belly tummy to chest that what i did.. then i put my boobs on a gurl's head.. hahaha! so after that i earned the money.. then my ex boss admitted me that she really like me LOTS!!! i was sooo :jaw: cuz of i dont know that she has crushed on me.. i asked her how long she like me since, she say when i started work n she saw me first time, she really like me but she know i was straight.. that why she pulled me up on stage.. i stopped job in march cuz of job was shut down and she missed me so much.. i never try anything with her nutthin..

in 2001, i got mixed feeling n confused myself at first time.. i dont uddy at myself.. later, i met a gurl from tenn, she is bi, she was married too.. she asked me if i am lesbo, i told her no i was straight.. then she say why not try with her? i was JEEZ!!! i was so confused n asked my close good friend guy who is gay.. i asked him abt it.. he say just follow ur feeling n ur heart.. i was okay.. i got think for 4 days, then i told her i go ahead n try see if i like it or not.. then 3 weeks later, i went tenn to met her.. we didnt do anything, until i got drunk, we did kiss lots but no sex... we did hold hands in public but i was sooooooo nerves... so later tonight, we did make love.. i love it!!! so i was bi for while we broke up 3 months short time.. in 2002, right after i broke up with my ex bf , my feeling CHANGED already wanna be FULL LESBO!!! i am soo tired of guys for hurt me n many reasons! sigh.. so i decided be FULL LESBO!!!! so i told my mom that i need talk u, she say sure, i told her oh well, i am lesbo, she say no plms with her cuz of she accepted who i am n love me so much, she is support me!! she dont care!!! i was whew.. smile..
until my best friend wolfy (from alabama ok) she got me met java thru online , we started talk lots until we started date, not serious yet.. wait until i get there hawaii then we will meet real life!! smile!! i cant wait meet her soooooooonnnn feb 9!!! i am soo EXCITING!! :D
 
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My mom said, "Hey, so now that we know that you're gay..."
I said, "No, I've always BEEN gay, but now that we talk about it...what's up?"
She replied, "Well, I was just wondering...well, no, nevermind..."
Me, "Mom! What is it?! Ask me!"
Mom, "Well...how would you feel...well, how would you feel if I brought home a black man?"
I said, "Mom, since you and dad have been divorced for years, that's fine as long as he doesn't abuse you or my sisters, we're good to go."

My dad said, "If you want to make that decision to live that kind of lifestyle, then you'll have to live with the consquences."
I replied, "If I had a choice, clearly I'd choose to be straight and have it easy."
Dad, "It's still your choice either way, and like I said, you'll have to live with the consequences."

Eh, my parents are odd.

Thanks for reading,

iacobus
 
:wave: iocobus,

that so illustrates the misperceptions people have! "choice", "lifestyle" etc.
though - you had more discussion than I did. My dad was open but literally didn't seem to know what to say, so he didn't and my mom seems to want to ignore the idea. <I'm bi>
The first family person I actually came out to was my aunt - mom's sister. She's an "old protester" from the 60's...she was cool - first thing she said was how much she loved me. She said that several times. I can talk about absolutely anything with her.
 
That's how my mom is. We're a very dynamic family and my mom told her sisters and it spread like wildfire. There are 5 of them! Anyways, dad found out through the grapevine and then came to me and had that talk. I would've preferred to have told him man-to-man, but that wasn't how it panned out.

Glad you had one of the original fighters on your side! The only person I knew on my end was a distant gay uncle/half-cousin relative that I barely knew. Luckily I had amazing friends to get me through the hard times.

Thanks for reading,

iacobus
 
no problem, iocobus:)
I'm real glad you had some great friends to be there for you!
I first came out in college, my first year, to people there - joined 10% Society and was active - and then over the course of several years continued on. I'm out to all in family, and most of the people I associate with, excluding formal arrangements like at a job. Though my case manager <Social services, working with people with cognitive disabilities> job some years back, I did come out to manager in effort to be welcoming with both my own clients and other caseworker's clients, if they would want someone to talk to. Am out with UU church I associate with <but am not member of> and with my own synagogue.
My dear aunt went S.F. in the 60's and was at the Haight. She is now a psychiatric social worker working with people in gangs and migrant workers.
 
I came out to my family a month or so ago. I love writing and when I find myself in a situation where I can't find a proper way to speak my feelings, I write them down and then leave the letter in a place where I know the person will read it. So I finally decided to tell by writing it up in a note on Facebook cause the family members I wanted to know, have a FB profile. After tagging them I waited. The worst reaction to it was my dad. He just started crying asking why had I written it on FB and feeling all hurt that I hadn't told him face to face. Honestly, I didn't think of what was easier for THEM...hell no...I was thinking what was easier for ME. He demanded an explanation as to why I didn't tell him face to face. Easy: " I couldn't face you. " If I could tell them face to face, I wouldn't have even bothered on typing up a note, but I couldn't. After a few more minutes of crying and semi accussing my neighbor of making me like girls cause he found a picture of her and I kissing ( which wasn't the case cause I liked girls way before she did ) he calmed down. The only one left to know is my mom cause she has her FB account deactivated. He said he isn't going to tell her, that I have to. She's going to be the hardest since she's so repulsed by the idea of homosexuality. I don't know when I'll be able to gather the courage necessary to tell her.
 
Awesome background dogmom

iSign, I myself am a write and when we were in journalism we were always told to write in "hot blood" so that way you're sure to get all of your raw emotions onto the paper. Then you're to go back and edit your work in "cold reality" when you've had time to simmer down and ponder on it. This has saved me some brawls with family because I've waited to send the letter or leave it for them. Either way it's effective.

As for telling your mom, I think you'll figure out some creative way of informing her. I broke down sobbing and texted her. lol. It seems so lame now that I think of it. I've been watching some late night shows on Logo and there's one called "1 girl, 5 gays" in which the female host asks 5 gay men a series of questions and obtains their opinions. Last night they were discussing "coming out" and one of the gay men brought up the fact that when you're caught up in that "end-of-the-world" moment of telling someone and waiting on their every response, it will definitely be stressful and nerve-wracking. However, in my experience, and in his, that will be the worst of it. You are your own worst critic.

Good luck iSign! If things fall out poorly, I'll still love ya!

Thanks for reading,

iacobus
 
iSign said:
I came out to my family a month or so ago. I love writing and when I find myself in a situation where I can't find a proper way to speak my feelings, I write them down and then leave the letter in a place where I know the person will read it. So I finally decided to tell by writing it up in a note on Facebook cause the family members I wanted to know, have a FB profile. After tagging them I waited. The worst reaction to it was my dad. He just started crying asking why had I written it on FB and feeling all hurt that I hadn't told him face to face. Honestly, I didn't think of what was easier for THEM...hell no...I was thinking what was easier for ME. He demanded an explanation as to why I didn't tell him face to face. Easy: " I couldn't face you. " If I could tell them face to face, I wouldn't have even bothered on typing up a note, but I couldn't. After a few more minutes of crying and semi accussing my neighbor of making me like girls cause he found a picture of her and I kissing ( which wasn't the case cause I liked girls way before she did ) he calmed down. The only one left to know is my mom cause she has her FB account deactivated. He said he isn't going to tell her, that I have to. She's going to be the hardest since she's so repulsed by the idea of homosexuality. I don't know when I'll be able to gather the courage necessary to tell her.
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Wow, isign! I hope it works out with your mom *hugs* *hugs* I think that, if they really love you, your sexual orientation should not matter to them THAT much, especially when homosexuality is common and widespread in this age and era. (Imagine their reaction if you were into bestiality....^_^;)
 
iacobus said:
Awesome background dogmom

iSign, I myself am a write and when we were in journalism we were always told to write in "hot blood" so that way you're sure to get all of your raw emotions onto the paper. Then you're to go back and edit your work in "cold reality" when you've had time to simmer down and ponder on it. This has saved me some brawls with family because I've waited to send the letter or leave it for them. Either way it's effective.

As for telling your mom, I think you'll figure out some creative way of informing her. I broke down sobbing and texted her. lol. It seems so lame now that I think of it. I've been watching some late night shows on Logo and there's one called "1 girl, 5 gays" in which the female host asks 5 gay men a series of questions and obtains their opinions. Last night they were discussing "coming out" and one of the gay men brought up the fact that when you're caught up in that "end-of-the-world" moment of telling someone and waiting on their every response, it will definitely be stressful and nerve-wracking. However, in my experience, and in his, that will be the worst of it. You are your own worst critic.

Good luck iSign! If things fall out poorly, I'll still love ya!

Thanks for reading,

iacobus
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LOL@ breaking down and texting

I totally agree with the "end-of-the-world" feeling. The fact that he demanded an explanation as to why I didn't face was because of that. They have no idea how difficult it is to confess something that it's so frowned upon. That we are rejected and treated at arms length for simply loving someone of the same gender.

Thanks a lot for the encouragement and love <3 <3 :)
 
sheila022 said:
Wow, isign! I hope it works out with your mom *hugs* *hugs* I think that, if they really love you, your sexual orientation should not matter to them THAT much, especially when homosexuality is common and widespread in this age and era. (Imagine their reaction if you were into bestiality....^_^;)
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LOL -hugshugs- Oh Sheila022, you just say the darnest, funniest things. Thanks <3
 
lol I thought she was quite helarious as well...

I know what you mean about it being so frowned upon. My parents raised me under a Catholic regime...eesh, it was incredibly difficult for me, but I did it! You'll never know until you try...best of luck!

Thanks for reading,

iacobus
 
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