How can I get my dad to stop giving me heart attacks?

SimplyMints said:
Please forgive the sarcasm. I'm not literally going into cardiac arrest every time my dad appears out of nowhere.

Many deaf children as well as those who are non-verbal are born into a family that doesn't provide them with a source of developing language skills during a critical period along their development. As a result, once they've grown older and have finally been exposed to language they can use, they have greater difficulty with it than their properly educated peers.

You:
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My dad grew up in a family that had no concept of privacy. As a result, when he grew older and discovered a culture that valued privacy, his ill-equipped mind could make no sense of it.

To this day, nobody has been able to explain to him the concept of privacy. Very often, my first clue that he's anywhere near me is his shadow appears in front of me, or I'll be walking across the hall and see him standing there out of the corner of my eye. Every time, I'm momentarily terrified until I realise who it is.

I think he's beyond hope. This has been going on for years. Perhaps gets a kick out of seeing how high I can jump when he startles me.

Is there perhaps an early warning device I could get that would alert me with a strobe light when he's coming up the stairs? Or do I need to install a door at the top of the stairs that I can lock from the inside, requiring him to press a button to alert me and allow me to let him in? Have others had similar problems with clueless (or perhaps inconsiderate) family members, and have found a solution to the problem?
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I read this yesterday and had time to think about it. It appears to me that when you were diagnosed as being deaf, you or someone else never took the time and/or taught you that you need to sharpen your other senses. As you know, you have five senses. Take out the hearing, you have four. Actually, if one includes reading body language/situations, that would be the fifth one, which replaces hearing.

Have you done this? Also, what do you need "privacy" for? I'm sure if he hasn't seen something on you that he hasn't seen before, he would most definately do something about it.

Along that thought, did you know that a few years ago, my hearing dog ran into a skunk. It was late at night and I couldn't return home, as I was heading to my parents house, 150 miles one way. So, I phoned them and told them what was going on. I picked up supplies to bathe Snickers when we arrived, but, before she went in, my parents & I devised a strategy to minimize other tenents from smelling skunk.

Because I modeled nude for art classes, I didn't want my only clothes ruined either. So, my parents and I stripped the bathroom of everything . . . rug, shower curtains, towels, soap dispensers, toilet paper. When I brought Snickers in, my dad blocked the way into the kitchen, both bedroom doors were closed, my mother would grab her while I was literally peeling off all my clothes, which she hasn't seen me nude since I was a little kid. She helped me bathe Snickers, while I held her in the bathtub (Snickers and I were both in the tub).

There was nothing sexual that occurred between us, yet we had quite a time to rid that smell from Snickers. Guaranteed she'll never do that stunt again!

Now, what's that thing about privacy you mentioned? I'm a guy that's older than you and I had no problem doing this. If you feel embarrassed about your own skin, I also am a member of clothesfreeforums.com, which is a naturist website. Check it out!
 
My only opinion is to try to be more alert. It can save your life outside your home.

Also I really love the emoticons you are using that we don't have on AllDeaf.
 
pek1 said:
I read this yesterday and had time to think about it. It appears to me that when you were diagnosed as being deaf, you or someone else never took the time and/or taught you that you need to sharpen your other senses. As you know, you have five senses. Take out the hearing, you have four. Actually, if one includes reading body language/situations, that would be the fifth one, which replaces hearing.

Have you done this? Also, what do you need "privacy" for? I'm sure if he hasn't seen something on you that he hasn't seen before, he would most definately do something about it.

Along that thought, did you know that a few years ago, my hearing dog ran into a skunk. It was late at night and I couldn't return home, as I was heading to my parents house, 150 miles one way. So, I phoned them and told them what was going on. I picked up supplies to bathe Snickers when we arrived, but, before she went in, my parents & I devised a strategy to minimize other tenents from smelling skunk.

Because I modeled nude for art classes, I didn't want my only clothes ruined either. So, my parents and I stripped the bathroom of everything . . . rug, shower curtains, towels, soap dispensers, toilet paper. When I brought Snickers in, my dad blocked the way into the kitchen, both bedroom doors were closed, my mother would grab her while I was literally peeling off all my clothes, which she hasn't seen me nude since I was a little kid. She helped me bathe Snickers, while I held her in the bathtub (Snickers and I were both in the tub).

There was nothing sexual that occurred between us, yet we had quite a time to rid that smell from Snickers. Guaranteed she'll never do that stunt again!

Now, what's that thing about privacy you mentioned? I'm a guy that's older than you and I had no problem doing this. If you feel embarrassed about your own skin, I also am a member of clothesfreeforums.com, which is a naturist website. Check it out!
Click to expand...

That's quite a life-changing story there, hehe! Really, it's worth sharing!

I'm not afraid he'll catch me in an embarrassing act or sitting at my computer naked or any such thing. I'm well aware of how weird I am with the things that I do on my own time (nothing sexual either), and everybody knows about them. I have a great big pink plush pony (Pinkie Pie), and my dad's already walked in on me while I was hugging her and I had a bunch of my pony dolls all over my desk, and he didn't seem to have a problem with it.

Also, yes, I know how to tell what's going on around me without my hearing. Usually. I mean, a few days ago, some lady almost ran me over with a floor buffing machine at Walmart, but other than that, I'm usually pretty hard to surprise when I'm with other people or out in public. You're right though. I should abandon the purely cultural notion of privacy. That shouldn't be so hard since my dad's family has no such notion. I get it all from my mother's side of the family. When I'm at home and relaxing at the end of the day, I tend to drop my guard on all fronts without thinking about it, and I think I'm alone, and I don't expect to find anybody in my house.

I haven't been totally deaf for very long, so I still have at least four more doctor visits, one of them tomorrow, one on the 18th, one on the 2nd Oct, one a few months later. On the 18th, I get a referral, so that's gonna be at least one more with a new doctor or specialist of some kind. In all this, I'll probably learn more about it, and I won't sound so green.
 
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