How can I get my dad to stop giving me heart attacks?

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SimplyMints

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Please forgive the sarcasm. I'm not literally going into cardiac arrest every time my dad appears out of nowhere.

Many deaf children as well as those who are non-verbal are born into a family that doesn't provide them with a source of developing language skills during a critical period along their development. As a result, once they've grown older and have finally been exposed to language they can use, they have greater difficulty with it than their properly educated peers.

You:
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My dad grew up in a family that had no concept of privacy. As a result, when he grew older and discovered a culture that valued privacy, his ill-equipped mind could make no sense of it.

To this day, nobody has been able to explain to him the concept of privacy. Very often, my first clue that he's anywhere near me is his shadow appears in front of me, or I'll be walking across the hall and see him standing there out of the corner of my eye. Every time, I'm momentarily terrified until I realise who it is.

I think he's beyond hope. This has been going on for years. Perhaps gets a kick out of seeing how high I can jump when he startles me.

Is there perhaps an early warning device I could get that would alert me with a strobe light when he's coming up the stairs? Or do I need to install a door at the top of the stairs that I can lock from the inside, requiring him to press a button to alert me and allow me to let him in? Have others had similar problems with clueless (or perhaps inconsiderate) family members, and have found a solution to the problem?
 
Talk to him.

But how would one come to you and let you know he is there unless he can come up to you and tap your shoulder?

Of course he could flick the light on and off, but that might scare you still.

It's hard living in a silent world and having hearing people around you.
 
Tell him to flash on/off the light switch.

I do get startled with my family. It happens when I do not wear my CI, but they do not do it on purpose.
 
I.......... see........
 
Oh, Buffalo, lol, I've considered moving out, and I really do love where I live. I was born here, and have lived here most of my life.

And Madison, about living in a silent world with hearing all around me, if I were to move as Buffalo suggests, I'd like to move to a place where there are lots of deaf, but not too far from home, and certainly not expensive places! I really hate moving though!
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ClearSky, My mom has learned to flip the light years ago for me, but my dad seems to have a learning disorder in that area of his brain. It hasn't been long that my HAs are useless, but I often went without them even when I could wear them because I didn't like them, and I didn't like buying batteries either.
 
Do you know where the deaf community is in Eastern Oregon?? Or you are still looking for it? I know zilch about Oregon but I suspect there might be a large community in Salem because of Oregon School for the Deaf. Salem is in western Oregon, unfortunally.
 
Buffalo said:
Do you know where the deaf community is in Eastern Oregon?? Or you are still looking for it? I know zilch about Oregon but I suspect there might be a large community in Salem because of Oregon School for the Deaf. Salem is in western Oregon, unfortunally.
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I know of the community in Salem. Unfortunately, that's about 3 climate zones away from here, hehe! I'm close to the Washington border, so I might look there. Who knows, I might even be living in it and I don't know it! I know my dentist knows how to communicate with me, and I never had to tell her a thing! I was very impressed! However, just last night, a lady driving a floor buffing machine around Walmart nearly ran me over screaming and yelling at me to get out of her way. I was facing the other way, and didn't know she was coming. Finally, my sister grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the way just in time. I suspect the Walmart employee was unaware of the existence of deaf. But then, perhaps I shouldn't judge a community by its Walmart employees.
 
This happens to me when people say "excuse me" from behind me. I still cannot hear that with my cochlear implant. I think they say it too soft or I don't expect it from years of not hearing it with my hearing aids or the mic being in front. I don't know.

People think you're so rude for not hearing them. Well, I begin to wonder if they are rude for not saying it louder. Do they know the existence of deaf people? It probably doesn't cross their mind. I mean? I begin to wonder, are there real hearing people that actually not pay attention to those who say, "excuse me?"

*low voice* excuse me....excuse me...excuse me! Then they walk off like I was some rude person. Why would I want to ignore them on purpose?
 
SimplyMints said:
Please forgive the sarcasm. I'm not literally going into cardiac arrest every time my dad appears out of nowhere.

Many deaf children as well as those who are non-verbal are born into a family that doesn't provide them with a source of developing language skills during a critical period along their development. As a result, once they've grown older and have finally been exposed to language they can use, they have greater difficulty with it than their properly educated peers.

You:
45.gif


My dad grew up in a family that had no concept of privacy. As a result, when he grew older and discovered a culture that valued privacy, his ill-equipped mind could make no sense of it.

To this day, nobody has been able to explain to him the concept of privacy. Very often, my first clue that he's anywhere near me is his shadow appears in front of me, or I'll be walking across the hall and see him standing there out of the corner of my eye. Every time, I'm momentarily terrified until I realise who it is.

I think he's beyond hope. This has been going on for years. Perhaps gets a kick out of seeing how high I can jump when he startles me.

Is there perhaps an early warning device I could get that would alert me with a strobe light when he's coming up the stairs? Or do I need to install a door at the top of the stairs that I can lock from the inside, requiring him to press a button to alert me and allow me to let him in? Have others had similar problems with clueless (or perhaps inconsiderate) family members, and have found a solution to the problem?
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Install a light that has a motion detector sensor in it. It will trigger the light with his movement.
 
The thing is, even with a motion-detecting light, it appears you will still react in the the same fearful manner. You need to apply yourself to strengthen your confidence or seek help, otherwise, any alerting aids will not help you much.
 
SCBassist said:
The thing is, even with a motion-detecting light, it appears you will still react in the the same fearful manner. You need to apply yourself to strengthen your confidence or seek help, otherwise, any alerting aids will not help you much.
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At least I'll know he's coming
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That'll be a help. Our whole family has to deal with this guy. It's just worse for me because I turn around, and suddenly he's there. The hearing members of our family can at least hear him coming.
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I get startled all the time too. Enough to jump-start my heart, sometimes. I don't understand it because I think I'm very "visual" (compensating for what I don't hear, you all know about that) so when someone comes around the corner and I'm not expecting it, it startles me. Usually only at home, though. So I know what you're feeling!
 


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