Hostile society of the hearing people

blaqueinque said:
jillio said:
Jillio...what is the "real" issue here? Honesty, since I have been a member of this website, I received nothing but aggression aimed at me from you.

What have I done here that has offended you so much...is it the new deaf BF...I mean really...what is it?
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You have misinterpreted a mere correction of your sometimes mistaken perceptions as aggression. I have nothing against you. However, I did think that you were here to learn, and one way to learn is to have your mistakes corrected.
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jillio said:
You have misinterpreted a mere correction of your sometimes mistaken perceptions as aggression. I have nothing against you. However, I did think that you were here to learn, and one way to learn is to have your mistakes corrected.
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When I was new to Deaf culture, believe me, I made plenty of mistakes.

One mistake that I made still makes me cringe 31 years later. I remember thinking that deaf who sign only can't lip read. So when a teacher told me about a trip we were planning and she told me not to tell anyone about it. Well I told a hearing teacher and I didn't use sign and I told her about it.

It got back to me big time. :P :Oops:
 
deafskeptic said:
When I was new to Deaf culture, believe me, I made plenty of mistakes.

One mistake that I made still makes me cringe 31 years later. I remember thinking that deaf who sign only can't lip read. So when a teacher told me about a trip we were planning and she told me not to tell anyone about it. Well I told a hearing teacher and I didn't use sign and I told her about it.

It got back to me big time. :P :Oops:
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LOL! That was a good one. And trust me, when I was new to this, I made plenty of mistakes, too. And I am grateful that the deaf never refused to correct my mistaken ideas or my sign. They taught me everything I know. And, as a consequence, opened my life and my perspective up in a way that would not have been possible without their help.
 
jillio said:
LOL! That was a good one. And trust me, when I was new to this, I made plenty of mistakes, too. And I am grateful that the deaf never refused to correct my mistaken ideas or my sign. They taught me everything I know. And, as a consequence, opened my life and my perspective up in a way that would not have been possible without their help.
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I can imagine. :giggle:
 
Oceanbreeze said:
I know another ADer who actually had someone pat her on the head. That was over the line, imho.

Why people feel the need to do this is beyond me? It's obviously about their issues and not ours. I'm comfortable being in a wheelchair. You're comfortable being deaf, so it's NOT US. It's them.

I guess, in a perfect world, the answer would be to educate these morons, but, when does that become futile and we just have to leave them to their ignorance?
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I understand that as a person with a disability or difference your whole life, you're use to it and you see yourself as normal. That is fine with me, and I actually love that people accept themselves as they are differences and all. What should be taught to those "morons" is not to go over the line with showing pity or to control themselves and show none and respect the other person for who they are.

In my opinion and I hope I don't offend anyone and if I do I deeply apologize, but at times when I do find myself around someone on a wheelchair or have seen a group of deaf people, I first am enthranced on how they have found different ways to live their lives as normally and as we do and then I think on how much I'd like to help them. I know they may want my help or be repulsed by the fact that I want to help them but I can't ignore the pity I feel at times cause I wish you guys could have experienced all I have. Maybe running, dancing, or being able to relax while listening to your favorite song. I appreaciate all that life has got to give us and knowing someone either by birth or accident has been deprived or so, makes me feel sad for them.

No, I do not pray for any of you cause I know you are happy just like you are and I comfort myself with that thought and try to use it to remind myself that I have nothing to feel sorry about cause you wouldn't have your life any other way.

Again, if my feelings offend anyone, I apologize. :)
 
Do not pity me.

I've had the good luck to knew as friends some of the greatest people in the world. Including a few legends. I've been in some places people only dream of. I've seen some things in this world that very few people have ever seen.

I've Run in the middle of a herd of buffalo, I've Danced to beat of the Mother Earth's drum at pow-wow, I've Relaxed on the top of a mountain in the middle of a meteor shower with among other people the man who discovered Pluto.

If I had my life to do over, I'd do it exactly the same as it happened. Including the Deaf part.

Don't be sad for me, Don't pity me. I've never been Deprived.
 
deafskeptic said:
That's so true. My mother told me that her maid asked her once if I was deaf at because I could hear her some of the time.
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the problem is plainly simple they don't understand
what is normal for them is not the same for a deaf or blind or wheelchair bound person
to coin a phrase from my grandmother "you can have the eyes of a hawk and still be blind as a bat"
if you do not know a person is deaf at first it can cause a moment of irritation
I am a hearing person who lives with a deaf woman and she has taught me a lot more patience.
I have met some people who took offense when you tried to help them!
(when I held a door open for a person in a wheel chair i received a very abusive response from her)
too proud i guess!
 
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gnuuser said:
the problem is plainly simple they don't understand
what is normal for them is not the same for a deaf or blind or wheelchair bound person
to coin a phrase from my grandmother "you can have the eyes of a hawk and still be blind as a bat"
if you do not know a person is deaf at first it can cause a moment of irritation
I am a hearing person who lives with a deaf woman and she has taught me a lot more patience.
I have met some people who took offense when you tried to help them!
(when I held a door open for a person in a wheel chair i received a very abusive response from her)
too proud i guess!
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Yes, some people think that being deaf is an indication that one cannot hear anything at all. And sometime do get a bit confused when a deaf person does have some hearing with an HA or CI even if he or she has hardly any hearing without the HA or CI. For instance, that when I was younger, I sometime had to explain that I do hear people talking with the hearing aid, it's the clarity of what I heard that was the dilemma.

They don't realize that it's kind of like the ones with visual problems that puts on glasses and still don't see 100% clearly with them afterwards.
 
gnuuser said:
the problem is plainly simple they don't understand
what is normal for them is not the same for a deaf or blind or wheelchair bound person
to coin a phrase from my grandmother "you can have the eyes of a hawk and still be blind as a bat"
if you do not know a person is deaf at first it can cause a moment of irritation
I am a hearing person who lives with a deaf woman and she has taught me a lot more patience.
I have met some people who took offense when you tried to help them!
(when I held a door open for a person in a wheel chair i received a very abusive response from her)
too proud i guess!
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I personally haven't had that happen, but I do know there are people like that. Most, in my opinion, are thankful for the help in a lot of situations.

I was called down today because I held the door open for a little old lady. She clearly has severe osteoporosis and has a VERY pronounced "dowager's hump" and might have been bent over at an 80 degree angle. She was also, if standing straight and tall, maybe 4 1/2 feet tall. She looked to be in her 80's or 90's. I help the door for her just like I do my MIL, and got called down in very filthy language. I just told her that G*D loves her too. and went on my way.
 
iSign said:
I understand that as a person with a disability or difference your whole life, you're use to it and you see yourself as normal. That is fine with me, and I actually love that people accept themselves as they are differences and all. What should be taught to those "morons" is not to go over the line with showing pity or to control themselves and show none and respect the other person for who they are.

In my opinion and I hope I don't offend anyone and if I do I deeply apologize, but at times when I do find myself around someone on a wheelchair or have seen a group of deaf people, I first am enthranced on how they have found different ways to live their lives as normally and as we do and then I think on how much I'd like to help them. I know they may want my help or be repulsed by the fact that I want to help them but I can't ignore the pity I feel at times cause I wish you guys could have experienced all I have. Maybe running, dancing, or being able to relax while listening to your favorite song. I appreaciate all that life has got to give us and knowing someone either by birth or accident has been deprived or so, makes me feel sad for them.

No, I do not pray for any of you cause I know you are happy just like you are and I comfort myself with that thought and try to use it to remind myself that I have nothing to feel sorry about cause you wouldn't have your life any other way.

Again, if my feelings offend anyone, I apologize. :)
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Ugh! For the record, I'm hearing but disabled and I find this attitude very offensive.

The last thing I want from someone is for them to try and help me when I KNOW I can do something myself. If I want or need help, I WILL ASK FOR IT. Until then, butt out.

As for pity, no room for that, either. Pity is for people who won't try things. Pity is for someone who is a lost cause. I'm not a lost cause and never have I been. I'm sure others on the forum feel the same way or similar. Basically, anyone who pities me can take it and shove it where the sun don't shine!

You have a LOT to learn about people.
 
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wavedancer said:
Do not pity me.

I've had the good luck to knew as friends some of the greatest people in the world. Including a few legends. I've been in some places people only dream of. I've seen some things in this world that very few people have ever seen.

I've Run in the middle of a herd of buffalo, I've Danced to beat of the Mother Earth's drum at pow-wow, I've Relaxed on the top of a mountain in the middle of a meteor shower with among other people the man who discovered Pluto.

If I had my life to do over, I'd do it exactly the same as it happened. Including the Deaf part.

Don't be sad for me, Don't pity me. I've never been Deprived.
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:gpost:
 
gnuuser said:
the problem is plainly simple they don't understand
what is normal for them is not the same for a deaf or blind or wheelchair bound person
to coin a phrase from my grandmother "you can have the eyes of a hawk and still be blind as a bat"
if you do not know a person is deaf at first it can cause a moment of irritation
I am a hearing person who lives with a deaf woman and she has taught me a lot more patience.
I have met some people who took offense when you tried to help them!
(when I held a door open for a person in a wheel chair i received a very abusive response from her)
too proud i guess!
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Too proud, yes. I find that offensive as well. Doors are obstacles for people in wheelchairs. I welcome anyone holding open a door for me and I thank them afterward for doing so.

That is the kind of help I do not mind.

It's the "Here, let me get that for you" kind of reaction when I drop my napkin on the floor that bugs me. I know I can either bend over and pick it up OR I can go get my reacher and pick it up. I don't need someone picking up after me.
 
Yes, it is the whole 'I'm soooo sorry for you' routine that we can't stand. Reverse the situation, put yourself in our shoes, have that said to you everytime you meet someone.- several times a day, everyday of the week, for years day in and day out.

It is something we can well live without Thank you very much!
 
BecLak said:
Yes, it is the whole 'I'm soooo sorry for you' routine that we can't stand. Reverse the situation, put yourself in our shoes, have that said to you everytime you meet someone.- several times a day, everyday of the week, for years day in and day out.

It is something we can well live without Thank you very much!
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Yes


:booty: to those poeple who say that they feel sorry for us.
 
BecLak said:
Yes, it is the whole 'I'm soooo sorry for you' routine that we can't stand. Reverse the situation, put yourself in our shoes, have that said to you everytime you meet someone.- several times a day, everyday of the week, for years day in and day out.

It is something we can well live without Thank you very much!
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shel90 said:
Yes


:booty: to those poeple who say that they feel sorry for us.
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+2

I can't stand it, either.

I also can't stand someone who feels sorry for themselves. I've come across a few who expected pity from me or expected me to kiss their butts, and they were really taken for a loop when I told them to knock it off!
 
Oceanbreeze said:
+2

I can't stand it, either.

I also can't stand someone who feels sorry for themselves. I've come across a few who expected pity from me or expected me to kiss their butts, and they were really taken for a loop when I told them to knock it off!
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Me too, Oceanbreeze, me too. It's a shameful waste of time and energy for everyone concerned when someone has a pity-party. But when someone genuinely needs to come to terms with something now that is a different story.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
+2

I can't stand it, either.

I also can't stand someone who feels sorry for themselves. I've come across a few who expected pity from me or expected me to kiss their butts, and they were really taken for a loop when I told them to knock it off!
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So this is a bad time to tell you guys I almost cried when my stepmother mentioned at dinner that she plans to give my childhood snow saucer to my granddaughter at a family party next week? :lol:

I really did almost cry.
 
Bottesini said:
So this is a bad time to tell you guys I almost cried when my stepmother mentioned at dinner that she plans to give my childhood snow saucer to my granddaughter at a family party next week? :lol:

I really did almost cry.
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Not at all, Bott! I think I woulda cried, too.

:wave:
 
Oceanbreeze said:
Not at all, Bott! I think I woulda cried, too.

:wave:
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Weird thing. Truthfully tears started pouring down my face and we all just kind of ignored it .

I was unbearably sad that my toy was going to be given away. It was just stupid.

My daughter likes things to be new and perfect and I am afraid she will throw it away.

I asked my other daughter to forewarn her and ask her please not throw it away since it was my childhood toy. :Oops:

I just put it here for a lark as I really am feeling sorry for myself. But kind of a joke too, because I don't expect you guys to pity me.
 
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