Holding "Grudges"...can you forgive or forget?

rockin'robin

rockin'robin

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Suppose someone has done something to you that was wrong in your opinion....can you forgive and forget it?...Or do you hold a "grudge"?
 
I forgive and forget provided that the offender takes responsibility for the wrongdoings.
 
It depends on whether the person fully acknowledges the slight and does not continue the behavior in the future. If that happens, it easy to forgive. Otherwise, I would discontinue the relationhip because it's not a healthy one.
 
I always try to forgive, but to forget is impossible if they've really hurt me. If they haven't hurt me that much, then it's easy to forget and there's not much to forgive either.
 
Have to agree with AJWSmith. It all depends on what this person has done.
 
Forgiveness is for the peron who gives it. It releases one from the hurt and pain. It's not that it didn't happen, it just enables you to move on with your life. At least, that has been my experience.
 
Insufficient data Will Rockin.

Did they deliberately set out to hurt me? Was it a stranger or a friend? Did they, at the time, honestly believe they had cause? Did I really, in fact, suffer damage, or was it only superficial?
 
I would love to forgive but taking my daughter away from me is very hard to forgive.
 
I tend to pray about it, then work hard to forgive and work even harder to forget. It all goes in with what I learned during church lessons.
 
The four men who brutally hurt me, nearly killing me, have gotten full forgiveness from me. The moment I forgave them, the process of healing began. I am still dealing with the effects, but my anger is gone (except for the anger I have against myself).

I have not forgiven myself for some things.

And this year, March 1, I need to forgive someone for what happened last March 1. I am going to write all of my anger, resentment, hurt, etc. emotions on paper. Put it inside a balloon before adding helium...and release it. It is bad for the environment, but good for the soul.
 
I forgave my father when I was sixteen. Very few people know this story, but it involves a certain white rabbit watching me in the woods. A very powerful and life-changing moment for me.
 
deafbahagirl, you're the one that you need to forgive most of all. To take care of yourself. :hug:
 
I can forgive if the offender is willing to take responsibly for actions instead of blaming others. If they don't do that, I will sever the relationship.
 
It depends. Mostly I forgive and move on, but some people who hurt me left such an impact that I can't forget. There are some people who I can't forgive....

Most of that is me. Why couldn't I do this differently, or do that instead, or whatnot. I'm the type of person who tries to give the benefit of the doubt, so I just see where things take me. If someone's wronged me I don't forget, and I'm wary, and I may not trust them again, but mostly I do my best to forgive them. I don't forget though. I'd like to, and I'm missing a huge gap of high school and my childhood, but I've realized that what you go through makes who you are, and I'd rather have all my memories, good and bad, than forget.
 
deafskeptic said:
I can forgive if the offender is willing to take responsibly for actions instead of blaming others. If they don't do that, I will sever the relationship.
Click to expand...

How true!....It's so hard to do when it comes down to a family member, tho' (sever the relationship)....We all have tried and tried to help...but his repetitive actions and disrespect were too much.
 
My dad and I where not getting along good and had a fight about me coming too late and I was not talking to my dad. I when out again and came home too late and as I was coming in the house any mother and brother where bring dad to the hospital. My dad dies the next day of a heart attack . I was never able to made up with my dad and to this day I still feel bad about it. My dad dies in 1967 when I was 20 yo. After this happen I learned to forgive my mother for not protecting against my dad abusing me for years. When my beloved mother dies at 93 yo she knew I have forgiven her and it helped lifted some weight from my heart. I could had gone on being angry at my mother but I knew she was not able to stop my dad. And I forgave my mother for not stopping my dad. I did not forget what happen to me but I was able to forgive and I am glad I did.
 
I definitely forgive. Sometimes when someone is in pain or really depressed they hurt the ones closest to them. I am sorry to say that I have snaped at people when I am really hurting for a long period of time. I always feel so terrible afterwards. I just pray that those who know me have figured me out to the point they know thats not who I am deep down.
 
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