Hoh person totally ignores me

From my own experience a born HoH, it just gets old when people try to reach out to me just because "I'm a cool deaf guy". It would be like if you were Dave Chappel and you keep running into strangers who say, "I'm Rich James Bitch!" It is funny and endearing the first 100 times but after a while it gets annoying.

That and sometimes people don't look at me as a human being who just happens to have a disability. It's almost as if I'm treated as a circus freak attraction, "Hey check out this guy who can't hear anything!"

It's ok that you at least made the move, it probably wasn't your fault. Sometimes people have bad days and don't feel like socializing. It's a numbers game really, out of the dozens of people I meet, maybe 1 person will be a friend.
 
Try talking to her about something else. School work, work, something else that you can find in common or find interesting. As if you were talking to anyone.

It seems this student doesn't want to make her HOH upfront.

And if, ultimately, she just doesn't want to talk... accept that. All kinds of people in the world.
 
It's entirely possible that this girl isn't in the class to make friends, but rather to take the course and have it done with. There are many people that fall into this category.

Laura
 
Lau2046 said:
It's entirely possible that this girl isn't in the class to make friends, but rather to take the course and have it done with. There are many people that fall into this category.

Laura
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Sounds like me. :giggle:
 
I have noticed just a few deaf people when I have been out. I don't go up to them but I secretly wish they would notice me and maybe start a conversation. Not to be best buds but to actually have someone that knows what we deal with on a daily basis.

When I was at physical therapy the other day there was a deaf lady around my age and she had an interpreter. I guess I sometimes just wish I felt more included and it is a reminder that I should be doing so much more to learn ASL
 
Angel1989 said:
I have noticed just a few deaf people when I have been out. I don't go up to them but I secretly wish they would notice me and maybe start a conversation. Not to be best buds but to actually have someone that knows what we deal with on a daily basis.

When I was at physical therapy the other day there was a deaf lady around my age and she had an interpreter. I guess I sometimes just wish I felt more included and it is a reminder that I should be doing so much more to learn ASL
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I used to be timid and shy about it, I remember. Mostly before I learned deaf culture. Now I'm only getting older, I feel I have nothing to lose meeting people out there. If they don't want to be friendly, I just shrug it off. Sometimes when they made nonverbal communication about something related to deafness, that's when I caught the cue and said hello.

Most of the time, I'm not afraid to go up to someone. Once, a stranger was having a big birthday party at a restaurant and they were slicing a huge chocolate cake. An ADer here commented about that cake looked good. I signed if she would want to try some. When she wasn't looking, I walked over there, had a friendly chat with the birthday lady and received a slice of cake for the ADer. Needless to say, the ADer was surprised and I had fun talking about what can happen being bold and having guts after that. It was a fun conversation.
 
BrittBritt said:
I was in my first day of class the other day and I was using ASL terps. My ASL terp is interpreting the lecture, and all of a sudden she stops and signs, "look! There is another hoh person in this class!" She describes where the person is sitting, and I see a person with two hearing aids sitting there in the class. I was excited to have another hoh person in a class with me. I never have before. Then, I was shocked, when after class, that girl didn't even look at me when she walked out of class. I thought she would at least wave, or hell even look at me. It was like she avoided my gaze on purpose. I thought that was kind of strange. If I see a deaf/hoh person, I always say hi. It seems rude to me that she didn't. I have had four more classes with her since then and every time she walks by me, she turns her head away from me. Do you guy's think thats weird? Don't you wave or something when you see another hoh/deaf person out and about in public?
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I think your ASL terp was waaay out of line to point out the other HOH student. No one likes to be pointed out in public like that. Your ASL terp
need to be spoken to so she will not embarrass any more people. I think it was very strange your ASL terp acted so immature , how old is she , four?
 
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I'm glad I didn't have any other deaf or HoH people in any of my classes when I was at college.
 
Quite a few times someone who is deaf, or a parent of someone deaf, has spotted my hearing aids and started signing to me. I don't know ASL, so that never gets far.

For the most part our hearing aids aren't very noticeable, to other people. People who wear them though? We can spot them a mile away. This includes me, I have noticed other people wearing them on a number of occasions, but never once have been inclined to ask them about it, point them out etc etc. Not sure why exactly. I guess it could just be awkward.

me "hey!! you have hearing aids too!!"
them "yes, thank you Captain Obvious, here's your cookie"
 
ambrosia said:
Quite a few times someone who is deaf, or a parent of someone deaf, has spotted my hearing aids and started signing to me. I don't know ASL, so that never gets far.

For the most part our hearing aids aren't very noticeable, to other people. People who wear them though? We can spot them a mile away. This includes me, I have noticed other people wearing them on a number of occasions, but never once have been inclined to ask them about it, point them out etc etc. Not sure why exactly. I guess it could just be awkward.

me "hey!! you have hearing aids too!!"
them "yes, thank you Captain Obvious, here's your cookie"
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That's actually what happens to me!

That's the drawback of being a late middle aged person when hearing aids have become all the fad amongst my generation.
 
Bottesini said:
No, I don't...

Do you wave at every person you see wearing your favorite shoe brand? Or who has blond hair?

If I know the person, of course I would acknowledge them, but not just because they are hoh.

I have noticed some baby boomers who got hearing aids from older age related loss like to show me their hearing aids because they think we have a bond, and I am always polite and certainly do not turn away, but I am not very interested in them.

Of course if a hoh person is carrying a small poodle, then I would be thrilled to see them.
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What if hoh person is carrying a small mixed poodle?
 
ambrosia said:
Quite a few times someone who is deaf, or a parent of someone deaf, has spotted my hearing aids and started signing to me. I don't know ASL, so that never gets far.

For the most part our hearing aids aren't very noticeable, to other people. People who wear them though? We can spot them a mile away. This includes me, I have noticed other people wearing them on a number of occasions, but never once have been inclined to ask them about it, point them out etc etc.Not sure why exactly. I guess it could just be awkward.
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That's what I'm dubbing as a hearing mentality. You probably "don't" want to talk with other strangers who might be wearing aids because you see no reason to associate with them, the same reason hearing people don't feel inclined to talk to any random hearing person. Otherwise, it could be a personality thing.

For me, I think I see it more of like a culture thing - not necessarily only deaf culture, but more like we're all in this world together and represent the experiences of our own world.

Maybe I tend to feel this way more because I'm from a minority group, and when I'm in a place with very few of my type of minorities, I feel inclined to 'get to know' my group. This happened a lot in the east coast - for me, at least. :dunno:
 
naisho said:
That's what I'm dubbing as a hearing mentality. You probably "don't" want to talk with other strangers who might be wearing aids because you see no reason to associate with them, the same reason hearing people don't feel inclined to talk to any random hearing person. Otherwise, it could be a personality thing.

For me, I think I see it more of like a culture thing - not necessarily only deaf culture, but more like we're all in this world together and represent the experiences of our own world.

Maybe I tend to feel this way more because I'm from a minority group, and when I'm in a place with very few of my type of minorities, I feel inclined to 'get to know' my group. This happened a lot in the east coast - for me, at least. :dunno:
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Could be, but honestly I'm not sure. I'm less inclined to talk to people in general since my hearing got so bad, it's just a pain in the ass for the most part now. Before, when I could carry a conversation without asking what every other sentence I started conversation with random strangers ALL the time, my mom used to say I had diarrhea of the mouth, I wouldn't shut up.

But still, I do sometimes still start a conversation with the person behind me in line at the grocery store, just more rarely now, but if that person was someone wearing hearing aids that conversation I start wouldn't be ABOUT our hearing aids. Unless their aids were really cool, or had something cool on them and I wanted to ask them where they got them or something.
 
BrittBritt said:
Ok ok, I will try not to be offended then. So do you think its weird if a deaf or hoh perosn you don't know says hi and introduces themselves to you if they see you using ASL? Where I am from, other hoh people and deaf people have always responded positively when I approach using ASL. We always say hi, tell eachother names, and it seems like we always try to figure out who we know in common LOL
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Where these people pointed out to everyone that they're deaf or hoh? I would not anyone pointing their finger at me and making a public announcement that I am hoh!
 
ambrosia said:
Could be, but honestly I'm not sure. I'm less inclined to talk to people in general since my hearing got so bad, it's just a pain in the ass for the most part now. Before, when I could carry a conversation without asking what every other sentence I started conversation with random strangers ALL the time, my mom used to say I had diarrhea of the mouth, I wouldn't shut up.

But still, I do sometimes still start a conversation with the person behind me in line at the grocery store, just more rarely now, but if that person was someone wearing hearing aids that conversation I start wouldn't be ABOUT our hearing aids. Unless their aids were really cool, or had something cool on them and I wanted to ask them where they got them or something.
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:lol: funny about diarrhea of mouth.
That's totally understandable, and I totally get what you mean about the conversation. I don't bring up the hearing at all, unless there was something significant about their HA or something, but just try for like any ordinary conversation.. "Are you from around here/*Looking at food item* What do you think of those jello donuts/I can't stop eating these little debbies/so on" (assuming this is a person around my generation). If it's an older lady, like a grandma or grandpa I just treat them with general etiquette like if they couldn't hold on to their stuff or seemed like they needed help putting something on the conveyor belt. Of course, I do it for hearing too, but I'm more likely to help out if I see a deaf granny than a hearing granny. :cool2:

For folks old enough to be my dad (50-60s), I haven't really ran into them other than at deaf events. I'm not good at steering those conversations due to generational differences.

But I get it about the hard conversation too, that's where ASL comes handy. It seems to be pretty quick for me to be able to jump into a conversation with another signer. With other oral HOH I realize we both got to take it slow or we're not going to be able to understand the other.
I do hope there was an easier way to communicate between oral-oral. I still haven't figured it out yet. :hmm:

whatdidyousay! said:
Where these people pointed out to everyone that they're deaf or hoh? I would not anyone pointing their finger at me and making a public announcement that I am hoh!
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it's not like we know the whole story about what happened, I didn't see that it was mentioned the 'terp pointed at her. I think if she was cool with her terp's personality, then that's all that counts because she is the one who decides what she wants and doesn't want to hear from the terp right? (Not saying this is right or wrong)
 
whatdidyousay! said:
Where these people pointed out to everyone that they're deaf or hoh? I would not anyone pointing their finger at me and making a public announcement that I am hoh!
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No, it's a class full of hearing people. They don't know asl. And no one usually is looking at my terp . But yeah, I can see how pointing it out could be taken as rude by other people. Especially since if that girl if she had seen, since she knows asl. That terp isn't my regular. But my terp and I chat sometimes. It doesn't bother me.
 
Maybe she's afraid to get stuck with being a Terp for someone or taking on any responsibilities.
Kinda like when i was in Biology and we were disecting animals and stuff, the girls were all squirmish, which didnt bother me and I got stuck with disecting all the girls who would do it ( I did get extra credits ) but geeze once is enough. Maybe she is just shy and maybe dont want to get stuck with using a terp herself in one way or another ( some people are stubborn and very independent) I would kinda feel the same way but I would say hi at least.
 
BrittBritt said:
I was in my first day of class the other day and I was using ASL terps. My ASL terp is interpreting the lecture, and all of a sudden she stops and signs, "look! There is another hoh person in this class!" She describes where the person is sitting, and I see a person with two hearing aids sitting there in the class. I was excited to have another hoh person in a class with me. I never have before. Then, I was shocked, when after class, that girl didn't even look at me when she walked out of class. I thought she would at least wave, or hell even look at me. It was like she avoided my gaze on purpose. I thought that was kind of strange. If I see a deaf/hoh person, I always say hi. It seems rude to me that she didn't. I have had four more classes with her since then and every time she walks by me, she turns her head away from me. Do you guy's think thats weird? Don't you wave or something when you see another hoh/deaf person out and about in public?
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This black bold explain why it is not the way to point finger at the new HOH person in your class and then she explained to you about where she was sitting and all that. Pointing finger is a no-no. It is impolite to point finger. My mother many years ago taught me not to point finger at people. I respect that. She is ignoring you because of your interpreter. Not only that you are sooo excited that she felt that she is not a regular student in your class as oppose having you be so excited about having someone who have hearing aids. Just try to go up to her and ask if she can have a conversation with you politely. No pointing, please. :)
 
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