I have been thinking about the whole issue of some hearing folk being attracted to or wanting to date deaf folk. All these threads by hearing people saying they are seeking deaf people to date got me thinking about it. To be honest, it gives me the heebie jeebies, and I have been trying to figure out why, because normally I am very "live and let live".
I think it stems from an awkward experience I had years and years ago. When I was a teenager, a hearing boy hit on me. When I started talking to him, all he could talk about was my deafness, my hearing aids, etc. Whenever I tried to change the subject, he would turn it back to something to do with my deafness.
In the end, it came out that he had a hearing aid fetish.:-o
Yeah. That really exists. I googled it. Hey, whatever floats your boat, buddy, but it won't be me!
But even aside from that experience, it always made me a little uncomfortable, because it makes sense for someone to be attracted to say, a fat person or a skinny person, a blonde person or a red haired person, little boobs, big boobs - that all makes sense because people like what they like and physical attraction is a big part of the beginning of many relationships. Likewise, attraction to non-physical traits like a kind heart, a confident attitude, great sense of humor, those make perfect sense for attraction.
Deafness doesn't. Same goes for blindness, etc. To me, I can't help but think that an attraction to a deaf or blind or otherwise differently-abled person is more along the "fetish" line of thinking. Or if that's not the case, at least they seem to only want to date us because they are "fascinated" by us being different. And that bugs me, creeps me out a little bit. Or maybe they want to date us for a status symbol thing, like "Hey look at me and how cool or interesting I am because I have a deaf girlfriend" - which just makes me feel used. Not to mention it seems to be a poor basis for a relationship, because the "newness" of the person's difference wears off pretty quickly and then all you're left with is the stuff that people are normally attracted to, which may or may not be your thing in the end.
Long story short - being attracted to me solely because of my deafness makes me feel like a carnival attraction. :thumbd:
Maybe I'm wrong, but I really feel like it is not OK to be attracted to or only want to date someone with a certain disability. We are not our disabilities. We are people. And I would only want to date someone who saw me as who I am as a person, and appreciated my deafness and all it entails as an afterthought, merely a part of who I am.
It's different if it's just friendship and nothing more. I have no problem with someone wanting to be my friend because I am deaf and they find that fascinating and want to learn from me. Hey, whatever, you know? It's just when people seek more than friendship on the basis of deafness that it starts to get a little creepy and weird.
That said, I'm sorry if you are hearing attracted to deaf and I have offended you. I mean no offense, I just wanted to maybe put my thoughts out for consideration on this topic. I really do not mean to cause any drama.
