50 years of deaf and not allowed to be
Hey,
I'm 50 years old, and I've been deaf (severe hearing; most no hearing in my left ear) before five years of age. I was forced to attend hearing public schools, except in 2nd grade where I was attended with deaf children. I received a hearing aid, then attended hearing public schools again. I was denied that hearing aid by my mother. I was unable to excel in school. I was never taught ASL. I suffered, and still do today. My speech is excellent. A speech therapist told me my speech has barely any flatness. Many people think I'm immigrant, although I was born and raised in America, but my speech is overpronounce in my effort to speak correctly. This near perfect speech causes people to ignore my pronounced hearing loss, or call me a liar saying I struggle so severely with hearing.
I have always wanted to be around those like myself, but never knew how. I AM deaf. I just was raised with the hearing, whom I struggle to be around. Today, I'm agoraphobic as my way to protect myself from being hurt from the hearing. Even my family most of the time refuse to help me to hear them. They expect me to respond when I don't hear them, or accuse of not doing something when I never heard them tell me.