Happiness

[Hear Again]

Life in general.. and all that has to do with it, is based around ones ability to hear, see and function in a non-impaired way.

It amazes me when I hear (no pun intended), someone say they're happier being hearing, sight or extremity impaired. Let's be truthful about the matter. I think one who feels that way is only kidding themselves if they believe that.

I think a simple way to explain the above would be to ask yourself this question: "if you had the choice of receiving $1.00 (substitute being impaired), or receiving $100 (substitute being non-impaired).. which would you prefer?

Like I said before.. I think you're only kidding yourself if you only want a $1.00 !!

Shi-Ku Chishiki ShiKu.Chishiki@Gmail.com

I was born totally blind and have no desire to see. Believe it or not, I'm completely happy being totally blind. After all, you can't miss what you never had. I'm sure people here on AD who were born Deaf feel the same way.

 

[bebito831]

Overall I am generally a happy person. I am not sure if I would be any happier if I could hear perfect.

I cannot use the telephone, I can hear the other person talking but I can't make out what they are saying, they could be speaking Chinese for all I know!

I rely on lipreading 100% of the time. If the person turns away from me or covers their mouth I miss about 50% of what they are saying.

I am like you Shel regarding music. When I was a teenager my younger sister would spend countless hours with me listening to our tape recorder and writing down all the lyrics to my favorite songs for me. She was also my "secretary" and if a friend called me on the phone she would listen to them talk and mouth everything they were saying and I would answer. We had it down to a science and my friends never knew that anyone was listening. She even did this with me for my boyfriends! It's a good thing I did not have many boyfriends before I got married.

 

[deafdude1]

Some of the above posts have good points. Let me chime in.

It's true that I don't know what im missing, but I feel I am not missing that much. Thanks to my powerful HAs, I probably hear about 85% of the environmental sounds that a hearing person(0-25db HL) hears. I hear about 50% of speech vs. a hearing person. But my lip reading skills gives me the same access to speech as a hearing person. I have CC for almost everything on TV and for phones, well now they are semi obsolete with the internet. I could still use phones and text message if so inclined.

Yes im missing high frequencies above 2000Hz but they only account for about 5% of environmental sounds and speech. Many hearing people seem to find high frequencies annoying and don't care to hear those anyway.

Id still wish I had normal hearing, not because im ashamed of being deaf but because it's a convinence and makes life easier. Many deaf people experience struggles and challenges in their lives while hearing people have it easy.

 

[JennyB]

I recently wrote a research paper on phonak ad campaigns in relation to this topic!!

Here are a few quotes from that paper...

"...there is an advertisement for a hearing aid called Naida Ultra Power (UP). The Naida UP is designed for people who are severely hard of hearing or profoundly deaf. The main slogan for the Naida UP is “The power to change your life”. It promises maximum audibility and Phonak feels that by hearing more ones life will change. The ad implies that if you cannot hear, your life requires changing."

"....there is an another advertisement for another Phonak hearing aid called Exelia. The slogan for this hearing aid is “Hear. Communicate. Embrace a Full Life Experience.” Once again the audist views of the company shine through their language insinuating that if one cannot hear, they cannot communicate, and their life experience will not be considered full. This continues the ongoing trend of disregard for the Deaf community and its form of manual communication."

"...there is yet another Phonak hearing aid called Audeo. The Audeo uses “Because hearing is inversely proportional to your life experience.” Semantically this sentence can be understood in two different ways. The first being that ones hearing directly informs ones life experience, and the second being that if ones hearing is not considered to be perfect, then ones life experience will also not be perfect. Given the context one can assume that the second internal meaning is the intended one. When applying that statement to someone who has no residual hearing, that would mean that person also has no life, which is an incredibly audist comment that devalues the lives of those that are profoundly Deaf."


The hearing aid industry sets up those views for us. The VP of marketing for Phonak is Alexander Zschokke. He is a hearing man with no formal training in hearing aids, hearing loss, Deafness...nothing. Hearing individuals are basically in charge of manufacturing these negative metaphors which spread through the heard of hearing and Deaf communities devaluing our lives and reducing self-esteem.

While I acknowledge that some people certainly do feel that their hearing status dictates life experiences, self-worth, and life experience, there is a group for which it does not and such blanket statements such as "Because hearing is inversely proportional to your life experience." are horribly audist!

Imagine saying "Because able-bodiedness is inversly proportional to your life experience."? or "Because whiteness is inversly proportional to your life experience."? That would be torn to shreds and the company could easily have human rights complaints made against it. Yet you apply it to the d/Deaf/hoh community and it's fine...

I will shut up now.

 

[Hear Again]

Yes im missing high frequencies above 2000Hz but they only account for about 5% of environmental sounds and speech.

Actually, high frequencies account for 95% of speech while low frequencies account for 5%.

 

[Hear Again]

I recently wrote a research paper on phonak ad campaigns in relation to this topic!!

These ads are primarily targeted to those who are late-deafened and who do not know sign. To them, being able to hear does make a significant difference in their lives. You and I know that there is nothing wrong with being D/deaf, but they don't. That's part of the reason why these ads say the things they do.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Life in general.. and all that has to do with it, is based around ones ability to hear, see and function in a non-impaired way.

It amazes me when I hear (no pun intended), someone say they're happier being hearing, sight or extremity impaired. Let's be truthful about the matter. I think one who feels that way is only kidding themselves if they believe that.

I think a simple way to explain the above would be to ask yourself this question: "if you had the choice of receiving $1.00 (substitute being impaired), or receiving $100 (substitute being non-impaired).. which would you prefer?

Like I said before.. I think you're only kidding yourself if you only want a $1.00 !!

Shi-Ku Chishiki ShiKu.Chishiki@Gmail.com

I'm hearing, but was born without the ability to walk and I find this insulting to myself as well as others here. Those of us who are born without the ability to hear, or see, or to walk (as is my case) have learned to adapt to our circumstances and I'm fairly certain many will say they are happy despite being deaf or deaf-blind. We don't miss what we don't know.

Life is what you make of it, and believe it or not, one CAN be happy if they choose to be. One can also be bitter and angry if they choose to be. It's all about atitude and learning to adapt to the circumstances you were given.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

I was born totally blind and have no desire to see. Believe it or not, I'm completely happy being totally blind. After all, you can't miss what you never had. I'm sure people here on AD who were born Deaf feel the same way.

This is how I view not being able to walk.

 

[LadySekhmet]

I see the the attitudes from people in general that being able to hear equates to a happier or better quality of life.

Does anyone else feel that way or does your happiness depend on your quality of whatever hearing you have?

For me, sure, I cant hear well but u know what? I dont dwell on it...

Was just curious if other feel that way or not?

I think for someone who were able to hear well, suddenly found themselves having a loss of hearing. If there was something to be able to bring it back, they would do it. That was the case for me. I love music. I love listening to Reba McEntire. However, I started to lose my remaining hearing, thus music started to sound very distorted and terrible. This was the primary reason why I got the CI. I got two on the sole basis that I'm used to hearing through both ears.

My half-brother is deaf as well. He cannot speak as well, but he can do it. He just doesn't really care much for speaking. He does not wear his hearing aids because he doesn't care much for sounds. He's just happy living in silence. So, for him, having a "cure" of hearing will not faze him. He went to deaf institutes and more in the "deaf world" than I am.

I grew up accepting the fact that I will never hear perfect. Although my audiogram is pretty much at a hearing person's level, but there will be no way, no how that I will understand everything 100%. Having said this, yes, my happiness does depend on what I can hear. If I grew up like my half-brother, then no my happiness does not depend on how well I can hear.

 

[djchur]

I don't think anyone can be happy unless they accept themselves for who they are.

 

[Shi-Ku Chishiki]

Cold and Wet, or Warm and Dry?

I'm hearing, but was born without the ability to walk and I find this insulting to myself as well as others here.

I'm sorry if you felt I insulted you.. as it was the farthest thing from my mind.

Those of us who are born without the ability to hear, or see, or to walk (as is my case) have learned to adapt to our circumstances and I'm fairly certain many will say they are happy despite being deaf or deaf-blind. We don't miss what we don't know.

At no point did I say one with a impairment couldn't adapt.. nor did I say you could miss what you didn't have.

Life is what you make of it, and believe it or not, one CAN be happy if they choose to be. One can also be bitter and angry if they choose to be. It's all about atitude and learning to adapt to the circumstances you were given.

I agree with your above thoughts. When I made the statement..

It amazes me when I hear (no pun intended), someone say they're happier being hearing, sight or extremity impaired.

..I wasn't implying one couldn't be happy under the above situations.

I just find it had to understand why someone thinks they could be happier shivering and shaking outside in the cold bone chilling rain soaked to the skin, when a dozen feet away they could be dry inside a nice toasty warm room.

OceanBreeze.. Please don't think I'm being insulting or demeaning with the above, but I just don't understand. I gladly welcome your help in helping me to though.

Shi-Ku Chishiki ShiKu.Chishiki@Gmail.com

 

[candybrowneyes]

Shel,

I think a lot of it has to do with accepting it. Not meaning they won't be or are not happy because they cannot hear as well as they like. I know that I can lead a happy and full life with my hearing loss but its coping with the fact that I have been hearing my whole life and losing the ability to hear things that I love is a hard pill to swallow. I am slowly understanding that life will be alright either way. The problem is everyone in my life is hearing and do not understand. That leads to a very tough life in some aspects.
It takes time and like I said its about the person and their own experience as we all don't share the same lives, hearing loss or outlook on life..

 

[Hear Again]

Shi-Ku,

By saying that you don't understand how a person can be happy if they are deaf, blind, deafblind, mobility impaired, etc. you're implying that being unable to hear, see or walk equates to a lesser quality of life.

 

[shel90]

Shi-Ku,

By saying that you don't understand how a person can be happy if they are deaf, blind, deafblind, mobility impaired, etc. you're implying that being unable to hear, see or walk equates to a lesser quality of life.

That was the biggest reason I created this thread...I had the feeling that many people equate all of those abilities to a better quality of life hence more happiness.

 

[rockin'robin]

Just had someone from the store the other day who said that it was very sad that I am deaf. I told her that there was nothing to be sad about. She looked like she couldnt believe me.

Just made me wonder if hearing people in general think having hearing equates to more happiness.

I believe they do!...When people find out ur deaf, it's always, "Oh, I'm sorry"! and shake their heads!

Even my doctor said "it's so tragic"! She'll never hear again! (After the nerves were damaged during surgery).

 

[shel90]

I recently wrote a research paper on phonak ad campaigns in relation to this topic!!

Here are a few quotes from that paper...

"...there is an advertisement for a hearing aid called Naida Ultra Power (UP). The Naida UP is designed for people who are severely hard of hearing or profoundly deaf. The main slogan for the Naida UP is

 

[Adamsmomma]

That was the biggest reason I created this thread...I had the feeling that many people equate all of those abilities to a better quality of life hence more happiness.

As a hearing person and mom to a fiesty deaf toddler I have to say Shi-ku's comment offended me... my son can't tell you yet he's happy, but I can tell you he's no less happy than his hearing peers... his quality of life is not dictated by what he hears or doesn't hear but rather by the love he feels from me and our family and friends.

I can not personally say l understand how you feel, I can only say as a mom experiencing it 2nd hand how I see people reacting to my sons deafness and how that makes me feel.

The day he had his ABR the audi said "it was sad for Adam and for me" I had to ask her "why? He's deaf... not dying. There are so many worse things that he could have been diagnosed with~ terminal illnesses etc... I've never once thought of his deafness as a disability, granted I know in the future he'll encounter stumbling blocks because of it... but those are just hindrences~~ not disabilities.

I know 'perfect' people who are perfectly miserable... I honestly believe life is what you make it... would Adams life be happier if he were not deaf, I don't think so.

Hope that made sense...

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Shi-Ku,

By saying that you don't understand how a person can be happy if they are deaf, blind, deafblind, mobility impaired, etc. you're implying that being unable to hear, see or walk equates to a lesser quality of life.

Thank you. You put it more simply then I could. That is exactly why the sentiment rubbed me the wrong way.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

That was the biggest reason I created this thread...I had the feeling that many people equate all of those abilities to a better quality of life hence more happiness.

Unfortuantely, that's how society views this. It's sad.

 

[Hear Again]

Thank you. You put it more simply then I could. That is exactly why the sentiment rubbed me the wrong way.

You're welcome.

If there was no implication as to there being a lesser quality of life, Shi-Ku wouldn't have made the statement they did.

And you're right. It is sad that society places the value of life on one's ability to see, hear, walk, etc.