For a Deaf Son

Seriously, let your son be a kid. Most of the time she spent around him was correcting him and trying to be a therapist not a mother
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That's why I'm anti- oral only. It's too much like eternal speech therapy for the kid....and the parents have to turn into therapists, especially if they do auditory verbal!
 
I don't think anyone can ever really know all the reasons why someone commits suicide.
 
scatter said:
I’m very sorry but I just don’t agree with some of you. He hung himself in a closet with a belt and a suicide note. It was NO scare tactic. It was very intentional. And yes, you are missing the point of the movie. The father released this documentary to show how involved he became in wanting to learn about deaf culture and what kind of school is right for his son. He learned that his son’s happiness and successes in life were his own and not a reflection of his parents. The mother on the other hand was so judgemental and was so worried what other people would think that she didn’t even give her son’s feelings a second thought. She said "Oh i'm not a good mother because I can't get him to speak". A lot of me, me, me, I, I, I. So worried about herself.. Good grief..And, as a mother myself, I cannot on earth believe she treated him the way she did. When it was christmas and Tommas wanted a truck, she kept saying T-R-U-C-K.. ok now “TOMMY ,SAY TRUCK”. Seriously, let your son be a kid. Most of the time she spent around him was correcting him and trying to be a therapist not a mother. It was uphauling to see that child try to learn sign with the other family friend and all she cared about was trying to get him to speak. Just in case you didn’t know, ASL IS a language. It has structure and is very valued in the deaf community. If ASL is his natural language then why push him onto English. It’s a waste of time. Eventually they end up learning sign language because it’s what come natural to them. Imagine yourself trying to learn a language that isn’t your native tounge; it’s hard isn’t it. And you never will fully master it. Same concept but with delicate, fragile children. All that boy wanted was love and a way to communicate, just not the way “SHE” wanted. I'm sure he felt he would never be the person she wanted him to be. What an awful feeling to grow up to. So, if you think he commit suicide because of an accident, your delusional. Why don't some of you do a little more studying and ask the deaf community what their opinions are. Just because she was a mother that loved her son doesn’t mean that he wasn't hurt enough to do something like that. I don’t know about you, but to this day I am still trying to please my mother. And i'm sure it was excruciatingly painful for him. It was a sad thing. But keep an open mind about the deaf and their struggles. That was way the father wanted to release this. He wanted to show the impact parents can have on their deaf children. You should think about how he felt before making assumptions. ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please quit calling your children hearing impaired! The correct term is Hard of Hearing or Deaf.

im⋅paired  –adjective 1. weakened, diminished, or damaged: impaired hearing; to rebuild an impaired bridge.
2. functioning poorly or inadequately: Consumption of alcohol results in an impaired driver.
3. deficient or incompetent (usually prec. by an adverb or noun): morally impaired; sports-impaired.
How would you like to be be called deficient or incompetent!!
I mean seriously!!!
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And who are you exactly? Are you a parent of a deaf child? Have you been through the worry and hurt they live through when making these decisions? Have you read hundreds of pages and thosands of hours, trying to figure out how to help your child be successful?

If not, perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to pass such harsh judgement.
 
And who are you exactly? Are you a parent of a deaf child? Have you been through the worry and hurt they live through when making these decisions? Have you read hundreds of pages and thosands of hours, trying to figure out how to help your child be successful?

If not, perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to pass such harsh judgement.
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Faire_jour.....on the other hand........you do have to admit that a lot of the language and psychology used to get the parents to go oral only is very "your child will be healthy and normal and won't need "speshal needs" stuff. A lot of parents buy into that.....and that's so freaking frustrating.
They're just thinking " Oh my child will be healthy and "normal" and function just like a normal kid and won't need things like ASL or Cued Speech or whatever"
 
Please quit calling your children hearing impaired! The correct term is Hard of Hearing or Deaf.

im⋅paired  –adjective 1. weakened, diminished, or damaged: impaired hearing; to rebuild an impaired bridge.
2. functioning poorly or inadequately: Consumption of alcohol results in an impaired driver.
3. deficient or incompetent (usually prec. by an adverb or noun): morally impaired; sports-impaired.
How would you like to be be called deficient or incompetent!!
I mean seriously!!![/QUOTE]

I just got done reading the one of a thousand emails for the week from a group for people with disabilities. Had a meeting last week with school personnel who didn't understand why deaf is not hearing-impaired. Was contacted by a parent group that labeled itself as advocates for hearing- impaired children. It all just turns my stomach. I wish I could understand it. I forwarded the quote to the superintedent and to the parent group. It's 2009 -- why cant people understand?
 
What annoys me is that the whole educating a deaf child is still such a controversy. I as a hearing parent of a deaf child should be able to rely on the education professionals to know by now what is best. Deafness is nothing new. The sad truth is that I can't and that leaves me to have to educate myself and roll the dice on what I think is best. I am not a teacher, or a psycologist nor do I have any experience with deafness or educating a deaf child. There are professionals that have far more experience than I do. All hearing parents of deaf babies are in the same boat. I heard a number of about 90% of deaf kids are born to hearing parents. That fact combined with the controversy on how to best educate a deaf child a setup for failure in my humble opinion.
 
rockdrummer said:
There are professionals that have far more experience than I do. All hearing parents of deaf babies are in the same boat. I heard a number of about 90% of deaf kids are born to hearing parents. That fact combined with the controversy on how to best educate a deaf child a setup for failure in my humble opinion.
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What professionals are you referring to? The term, professionals are too loosely used these days. The funny part is, most of the professionals don't have any children with hearing loss. Heck, a good number of them don't even have children to start with. So how can they truly be an expert on how a deaf child should be educated?

Just a thought.
 
deafdyke said:
Faire_jour.....on the other hand........you do have to admit that a lot of the language and psychology used to get the parents to go oral only is very "your child will be healthy and normal and won't need "speshal needs" stuff. A lot of parents buy into that.....and that's so freaking frustrating.
They're just thinking " Oh my child will be healthy and "normal" and function just like a normal kid and won't need things like ASL or Cued Speech or whatever"
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I don't believe that is what happens. I believe that (at least most) of the parents take their time, and try to figure out what is best for their child and their family.

Just because they come to a different conclusion than you would, doesn't make it wrong.
 
It's too common for hearing parents who expect their deaf kids to speak so good. Naturally, parents keep pushing Deaf Kids to see speech therapist or correcting them to speak right. Then the kids get older as adult and more tense around their parents. Sometimes they happen to have good relationship, sometimes not. I have seen some of HOH or Deaf kids who speak beautifully but their troubled emotionally and usually deeply around people who know them that they can speak and expect them to do it.
 
Can someone please tell me how to find the link to view it? I'm sincerely interested in watching it. :ty:
 
Frisky Feline said:
It's too common for hearing parents who expect their deaf kids to speak so good. Naturally, parents keep pushing Deaf Kids to see speech therapist or correcting them to speak right. Then the kids get older as adult and more tense around their parents. Sometimes they happen to have good relationship, sometimes not. I have seen some of HOH or Deaf kids who speak beautifully but their troubled emotionally and usually deeply around people who know them that they can speak and expect them to do it.
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I know what you mean. If parents want deaf kids to speak good, then parents should do the same..learn sign language.
 
I don't believe that is what happens. I believe that (at least most) of the parents take their time, and try to figure out what is best for their child and their family.
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Sigh.....SOME parents do. But many others really do buy into the attitude that " mainstreaming is best, and oral only is the best b/c it seems more "normal" I think maybe you haven't really been around a lot of oral only parents. (NOT parents who are going the full toolbox route)
The oralists use ableist language to reel in the parents who are still greiving the " loss" of their " healthy normal" kid. They then use psychology to make them think " Oh if my child doesn't use ASL/CUED speech and/or is mainstreamed, then they are NORMAL!"
I mean just LOOK at the motto of AG Bell............" Freedom in Listening and Talking"
That in of itself means that pro oral only folks view ASL as " special needs" or a " crutch"
 
deafdyke said:
Sigh.....SOME parents do. But many others really do buy into the attitude that " mainstreaming is best, and oral only is the best b/c it seems more "normal" I think maybe you haven't really been around a lot of oral only parents. (NOT parents who are going the full toolbox route)
The oralists use ableist language to reel in the parents who are still greiving the " loss" of their " healthy normal" kid. They then use psychology to make them think " Oh if my child doesn't use ASL/CUED speech and/or is mainstreamed, then they are NORMAL!"
I mean just LOOK at the motto of AG Bell............" Freedom in Listening and Talking"
That in of itself means that pro oral only folks view ASL as " special needs" or a " crutch"
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Freedom in Listening and Talking...WTF?!!!!
 
deafdyke said:
Sigh.....SOME parents do. But many others really do buy into the attitude that " mainstreaming is best, and oral only is the best b/c it seems more "normal" I think maybe you haven't really been around a lot of oral only parents. (NOT parents who are going the full toolbox route)
The oralists use ableist language to reel in the parents who are still greiving the " loss" of their " healthy normal" kid. They then use psychology to make them think " Oh if my child doesn't use ASL/CUED speech and/or is mainstreamed, then they are NORMAL!"
I mean just LOOK at the motto of AG Bell............" Freedom in Listening and Talking"
That in of itself means that pro oral only folks view ASL as " special needs" or a " crutch"
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Ok, I don't love that organazation. That is true. But not because of their philosophy, but because of some personal experiences with the people. I am sure they have helped many people, and I even went to an AG Bell conference last week-end. It had lots of really great information. (You can read about what I learned on my blog)

But, about the motto...there is some freedom is listening and speaking. The freedom is that you can approach anyone at anytime and communicate with them. You don't need to worry about how you are going to handle it, if you have a pen and paper, if they will understand what you need. That is a certain kind of freedom.

There is another kind of freedom in 100% accessability through ASL.

But both are true.
 
But, about the motto...there is some freedom is listening and speaking. The freedom is that you can approach anyone at anytime and communicate with them. You don't need to worry about how you are going to handle it, if you have a pen and paper, if they will understand what you need. That is a certain kind of freedom.

There is another kind of freedom in 100% accessability through ASL.
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Well granted AG Bad isn't as extreme as it once was. I have seen ASL 'terps and stuff like that. But its almost like............they are still very audist and very pro "mainstream" (regular school, regular classes) is the best.
They don't understand that depending on extremely high priced health care is just as bad as only having ASL abilty.
The best sitution is having a full toolbox.
 
One more time: where's the link to watch the film? I went to DCMP.org and did a search but found nothing. :confused:
 
Banjo said:
What professionals are you referring to? The term, professionals are too loosely used these days. The funny part is, most of the professionals don't have any children with hearing loss. Heck, a good number of them don't even have children to start with. So how can they truly be an expert on how a deaf child should be educated?

Just a thought.
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I am talking about the professionals in the teaching field. The ones that decide on the plans and the teachers themselves.
 
rockdrummer said:
I am talking about the professionals in the teaching field. The ones that decide on the plans and the teachers themselves.
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Most "Teacher of the Deaf" in mainstream schools only got one year worth of specialization in "special education."

Special education being... how to deal with ADD, the mentally slow and so on...
 
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