Feeling Kinda Broken :(

ladysolitary85 said:
I'm taking a step back and just watching how things will fold. He missed a doctor's appointment, which is irritating but it happens. He wants to get help, he knows hes a jerk and he doesn't want to be.
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Stop making excuses for him. Make him work for you. You are in the driver's seat.
 
don't be obssevied because your mind, don't forget it boyfriends, instead your own decide personal I can help you!

strong your best empower
Don't be give up!

Keep focus your life, you don't be need to past old history his problem!
 
ladysolitary85 said:
So far we haven't had any big blow out arguments....

No worries saywhatkid, diamonds are pretty but love you can't buy. Its not something I'd get to see til 5 months from now anyways. Which I kinda find a good thing right now.

One min we seem fine, the next.... back to my not listening arguement.
I know its never going to really end.

As far as hes concerned we're together again.

I'm going to just let him talk with his shrink, 6 years is a long time to just throw away. If he can get his anger under control, and learn to be more understanding than hey, we might work.... if he keeps going in this weird negative, hot then cold phase it wont last long.

Everyone has good advices on here :) I look forward to more of them.
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I hate to say this but I really doubt that he will ever get his anger under control! And it sound like you're making excuses for him or trying to cover up for him by saying "If he can get his anger under control, and learn to be more understanding than hey, we might work...." It does not work that way! How long are you going to wait to see IF he does get his anger under control?
I divorce my ex husband and we were together and 10 years. He was like your guy and I was not going to waste any more time with him! My ex husband thought I was playing mind games with him as I was able to think faster than him! I wonder if your guy is jealous of you in any way and it trying to made you feel bad about yourself , that is a way men try to control women! You look young in your photo and I bet you could find a guy that will treat you with the respect you deserves. What does your family say about all of this, I am sure they have some feeling about it.
 
They figure all couples have there problems, no one is perfect. Some have bigger flaws than others. That his kidney failure is a huge issue for him and still fresh and he is taking the blame out on me.

I don't deserve it, no. But everyone can make mistakes and say spiteful things when they hear news like that....
 
ladysolitary85 said:
They figure all couples have there problems, no one is perfect. Some have bigger flaws than others. That his kidney failure is a huge issue for him and still fresh and he is taking the blame out on me.

I don't deserve it, no. But everyone can make mistakes and say spiteful things when they hear news like that....
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You're still being "defensive" towards him....but you posted the problem(s) you're having with him.....I'm sure you don't want anyone saying..."Well...so what?...deal with it!".....or that it's "OK" to insult you, even brow-beat you because you can't hear what he is saying....

I feel like your b/f is very immature! Children do make fun of deafies, but when it comes from an adult, there is no excuse. He may be sick, even have a life-threatening dilemma...does that give him the "right" to insult you about your hearing?...Seems he reallllly knows where "to stick the knife" doesn't he?

Reminds me of a friend's daughter, whose boyfriend beat her up and cheats on her with other girls....I asked her a while back..."why do you put up with this?"....and she said..."Well, I love him and I will DEAL with it!"....Even her mother cannot talk any sense into her head....

Some learn the easy way, some the hard way. All I can say now is Good Luck.
 
being gravely ill <which is a sad thing, I'm sorry> does not give him the right to treat you in a disrespectful manner. As his mind is intact so far as I know, he still has a choice to say or do this or that. Don't let him play games with you.

do you love yourself? nothing will change if you don't love and fight for yourself.
 
I have to agree with dogmom - even my father, in the final stages of cancer, always put his family's feelings first.

Being sick does not excuse one from remembering common courtesy and consideration for their loved ones. Being sick does not justify one deliberately mocking someone he professes to love.

I know this sounds harsh but he can't keep using his health problems as an excuse to demean you.

So, that's why I am asking how long you're willing to put up with this because it appears his health problems won't be going away anytime soon. If you've already expressed to him how hurtful he's being and he's not stopping it, why do you think he will in the future?
 
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ladysolitary85 said:
They figure all couples have there problems, no one is perfect. Some have bigger flaws than others. That his kidney failure is a huge issue for him and still fresh and he is taking the blame out on me.

I don't deserve it, no. But everyone can make mistakes and say spiteful things when they hear news like that....
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You're enabling the guy! I took care of people on their death bed and they did not say spiteful things to their loves! And being sick does not made is alright to treat you this way! You have a codependent relationship with this guy! I knew couples that did not call one another names or insult them when they found out how sick they where! I was in so much pain after my car was T boned. The pain in my head was unbearable and no meds could stop the pain,
I did not insult people take it out on them! You're allowing your guy to use his health issues to mistreat you and having him see a doctor for his anger issues is a waste of time as long as you keep on enabling him!! Does either one of you have drinking problem as it sure looks that way!
 
DeafCaroline said:
I have to agree with dogmom - even my father, in the final stages of cancer, always put his family's feelings first.

Being sick does not excuse one from remembering common courtesy and consideration for their loved ones. Being sick does not justify one deliberately mocking someone he professes to love.

I know this sounds harsh but he can't keep using his health problems as an excuse to demean you.

So, that's why I am asking how long you're willing to put up with this because it appears his health problems won't be going away anytime soon. If you've already expressed to him how hurtful he's being and he's not stopping it, why do you think he will in the future?
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And what will happen when his health issues get worst, will he used this an excuse to treat you either worst or throw more insult at you. And I have seen what happen to women in abusive relationships, they start to believe that they're 'no good' and that everything that goes wrong its their fault! I really think you should go to a women crisis center and talk to someone about domestic violence and see how it start out! I hate to see you go down this road, as it is not pretty!
 
*sighs* I don't know...

I know you guys all mean well and I'm not trying to defend him, and I know I am.

I am seeing how it goes til the end of our lease, which is February...

If nothing works, nothing works. I will accept it and move on. But I need to try.
 
ladysolitary85 said:
*sighs* I don't know...

I know you guys all mean well and I'm not trying to defend him, and I know I am.

I am seeing how it goes til the end of our lease, which is February...

If nothing works, nothing works. I will accept it and move on. But I need to try.
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Only you can decide what to do, but I have a strong feeling the guy is not going to change as long as you can't admits you're making excuses for him. This is why I asked if you guys drinks, this a very common behavior of an
alcoholic to blame another person for everything and that person enable the alcoholic. My dad was an alcoholic and he blame everyone in the family if was too upset too eat!
 
Did you sign the lease? If you did, you're stuck until the lease is over. If not, consider moving on. Being treated badly takes a small piece of you every day until your spirit is broken. I don't want that to happen to you.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
Only you can decide what to do, but I have a strong feeling the guy is not going to change as long as you can't admits you're making excuses for him. This is why I asked if you guys drinks, this a very common behavior of an
alcoholic to blame another person for everything and that person enable the alcoholic. My dad was an alcoholic and he blame everyone in the family if was too upset too eat!
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Actually hes the sober one. I drink but twice or so in a month. I couldn't do that every day. I'm normally the happy and mellow kind of drinker IF I get drunk, which I'd rather lightly drink just to get a little bit of the edge off than to get hammered and be sore later anyways.

I was raised by an alcoholic so I understand what you mean :(. My family has loads of things but I don't wanna hurt anyone's eyes by reading paragraph of paragraphs of my life story lol
 
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkrWTxnnIws&feature=related]YouTube - ‪Nobody's Home= Avril Lavigne ASL‬&rlm;[/ame]

wish I was more fluent enough to sing it too :) This is how I feel... in everything with friends, family, relationships, jobs, everything.
 
sallylou said:
Did you sign the lease? If you did, you're stuck until the lease is over. If not, consider moving on. Being treated badly takes a small piece of you every day until your spirit is broken. I don't want that to happen to you.
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I agree with this ! I when to a support group for divorces women and it turned out I was the only woman that was divorce! There was one woman and she is lived in fear and her spirit was so broken that she no longer was able to defended herself! She was a prisoner in her own home! Her husband had total control over everything, the money, car and phone! The other 4 women where too afraid to leave their husbands too. Be careful and do not let yourself get trapped like these women. Sallylou is right, once you lose your spirit , you lose the will to fight back!
 
ladysolitary85 said:
Actually hes the sober one. I drink but twice or so in a month. I couldn't do that every day. I'm normally the happy and mellow kind of drinker IF I get drunk, which I'd rather lightly drink just to get a little bit of the edge off than to get hammered and be sore later anyways.

I was raised by an alcoholic so I understand what you mean :(. My family has loads of things but I don't wanna hurt anyone's eyes by reading paragraph of paragraphs of my life story lol
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I was picking up on this from what you been saying. OMG my family does too!
 
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Negative
-negative attitute
-pick up to person
-exciting on bit outrage or frustrate
- off topic on aggressive
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I am experience study lots of advise basic suggest to you
- convince to person (wrong)


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ignored negative bad!
Suggest to you help better you hope be you happy joy and future changelle your empowerment treat to your heart


don't be give up
you keep going hard work responsibility
 
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