Feeling Kinda Broken :(

ladysolitary85 said:
Thats what I'm trying to do and he knows that. Its irritating that he thinks I can simply control what I hear.
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be careful you don't be harassment to him! be careful on him situation pretty emotion stress!
I expect to you control emotion and sad to situation her!

otherwise cut on the him leave stay awhile better patient!
I did experience bother my gf is very hurt said leave me alone 4 o 6 days or depend on her feeling better

I tell you advise to you
relationship or friendship I am not sure difficult to experience relationship I can't bother on my gf, I respect to my gf is very busy or something I said of course she is very patient told me I was tell mistake apologized to pick up her, she stress cut on my emotion!
I experience lots of patient! I Know hard to my emotion and upset!
 
Hang in there...everyone had great advice. Hope all works out well.
 
AD supportive help encourage to discuss expect to wise help advise to tutorial explain to how role improve! I hope be hear news happened I can support to Advocate I am encourage to friends or communication!
 
Well guys I have some news.... he finally came out and apologized and is working on seeing a shrink soon. At least he understands he has anger issues and needs to take care of them before they become worse.

So we talked it out a bit, still a little awkward for me keeping my guard up....

That was until he wanted to go back to the jewelry store... to get my ring resized (since I can't wear it right now). Well, after all the talks with the jeweler saying how it no longer has the free resizing warranty on it, He just looked at me and said "well, want to get an upgrade?"

I was like :eek3: seriously???? :eek3::shock::eek3::giggle:

Ever felt like a kid in a candy store? :D

I'll have to wait 5 months to get it because of the payment plan hes under but it is very pretty :D

So I'm thinking, if hes willing to outright buy another ring for me, he must be serious about being sorry and wanting us to work out.

BUT even though things are ok for now, he still needs to be nice when he talks to me. I don't reward bad behavior :p

penny for everyones thoughts? Think its safe to let my guard down a little?
 
I think he is showing you his good intentions and I would try to work with him.
 
I tell you tell truth difficult my gf I picked up bother ,but I respect my gf is very don't want to annoy otherwise i think so might to not easy emotion and my life! I know! not easy hard tough!
 
ladysolitary85 said:
Well guys I have some news.... he finally came out and apologized and is working on seeing a shrink soon. At least he understands he has anger issues and needs to take care of them before they become worse.

So we talked it out a bit, still a little awkward for me keeping my guard up....

That was until he wanted to go back to the jewelry store... to get my ring resized (since I can't wear it right now). Well, after all the talks with the jeweler saying how it no longer has the free resizing warranty on it, He just looked at me and said "well, want to get an upgrade?"

I was like :eek3: seriously???? :eek3::shock::eek3::giggle:

Ever felt like a kid in a candy store? :D

I'll have to wait 5 months to get it because of the payment plan hes under but it is very pretty :D

So I'm thinking, if hes willing to outright buy another ring for me, he must be serious about being sorry and wanting us to work out.

BUT even though things are ok for now, he still needs to be nice when he talks to me. I don't reward bad behavior :p

penny for everyones thoughts? Think its safe to let my guard down a little?
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That is a good start that he admitted to having anger issues. I think is would be good go to the shrink with him after after he been going for awhile. You're the only one that will know when it ok to let your guard down a little. Everyone react in their own way and what work for one person might not work for you. I wish you the best of luck and hope things will work out the way you want it to.
 
Dear ladysolitary85,
Take a trip to my part of the earth. See real life troubles folks are facing and overcoming here and you will never sulk again in your life time on earth.

Go on a volunteer program where you can touch the life of those who are facing life hard; go give of yourself and life will reward you with your heart's desire.

You are a great woman waiting to be unfolded!

GO SPREAD YOUR LOVE AROUND GIRL!!!
 
ladysolitary85 said:
Samuels Jewelers | Unique fine jewelry-diamonds, rings, earrings, necklaces, watches and bridal

it'll be like this but the small diamond on the side will have a emerald in it (his birthstone) so it'll be like diamond, emerald, diamond, diamond, diamond, emerald, diamond.
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Don't let the pretty rocks blind you. Sometimes it is easier to buy your way out of trouble than to fix the problems.

I have read all the comments here, and there is some excellent advice. Six years is a long time investment in this relationship. There will always be rough times. THAT is when you learn what you are in for. Good luck with this. Your heart and mind will tell you what to do.
 
How did your relationship with him last 6 years?

If he truly loved you, he would make an effort to communicate better with you... as you've already made an effort to try to understand him better.

I have friends who thought it would be better to date hearing people, but they often end up having bad relationships because of communication issues. Where's the love if they can't communicate with each other?

Are you absolutely sure that you two are meant to be married? I don't want you to feel guilty like you're doing something wrong by not understanding him.
 
LS85, you're focusing on the man in your life. The problem is that you can't make someone else happy. He's got to figure out how to do that for himself. You need to focus on yourself and making yourself happy. It's in your power to make yourself happy. Take some time to yourself to decide what you really want in life and invest your effort in making that happen. If the relationship is meant to be, it will work out later.

I can tell that you have abandonment issues because I've had them, too. It's hard! Maybe you could reframe the issue as a break for yourself?

If you want to talk, PM me.
 
So far we haven't had any big blow out arguments....

No worries saywhatkid, diamonds are pretty but love you can't buy. Its not something I'd get to see til 5 months from now anyways. Which I kinda find a good thing right now.

One min we seem fine, the next.... back to my not listening arguement.
I know its never going to really end.

As far as hes concerned we're together again.

I'm going to just let him talk with his shrink, 6 years is a long time to just throw away. If he can get his anger under control, and learn to be more understanding than hey, we might work.... if he keeps going in this weird negative, hot then cold phase it wont last long.

Everyone has good advices on here :) I look forward to more of them.
 
ladysolitary85 said:
One min we seem fine, the next.... back to my not listening arguement.
I know its never going to really end.

As far as hes concerned we're together again.
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I bet you could listen (communicate) better when you can use a language you both understand. When are you both going to fit learning ASL into your schedules? You know you are going to need it. Does he? Or does he think he can just keep talking louder?

As for "As far as hes concerned we're together again" I hope he knows what a gem you are, and that his desires to be together are mostly about the time when you are sitting and standing. I think you can figure out what I am saying here.
 
saywhatkid said:
I bet you could listen (communicate) better when you can use a language you both understand. When are you both going to fit learning ASL into your schedules? You know you are going to need it. Does he? Or does he think he can just keep talking louder?

As for "As far as hes concerned we're together again" I hope he knows what a gem you are, and that his desires to be together are mostly about the time when you are sitting and standing. I think you can figure out what I am saying here.
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I want to learn ASL and it looks like I'm going to have to teach myself at home until I can find a job that will allow me to go to school at work.

He on the other hand, feels like its my responsibility to learn.... not his. He knows the alphabets but thats it.

Its absolutely irritating, when I want to learn and when I talk to him and I say what, he play signs and talks in a degrading way, as if to mock me. I called him on it last night told him its not funny or cute.

Also, his shrink appointment was this morning.... and seems like he missed it.
 
you still dump up or still on keeping hold relationship his?
 
I'm taking a step back and just watching how things will fold. He missed a doctor's appointment, which is irritating but it happens. He wants to get help, he knows hes a jerk and he doesn't want to be.
 
ladysolitary85 said:
I want to learn ASL and it looks like I'm going to have to teach myself at home until I can find a job that will allow me to go to school at work.

He on the other hand, feels like its my responsibility to learn.... not his. He knows the alphabets but thats it.

Its absolutely irritating, when I want to learn and when I talk to him and I say what, he play signs and talks in a degrading way, as if to mock me. I called him on it last night told him its not funny or cute.

Also, his shrink appointment was this morning.... and seems like he missed it.
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Two things, and I will bow out of this. There are many other opinions here to consider besides mine, and I am about to get harsh...

One, in bold; if he feels that knowing the letters is enough, and since you are still capable of speech, I would suggest spelling every word you say to him. Don't say "What's for dinner?" Say "W-H-A-T-S-F-O-R-D-I-N-N-E-R?" Do it fast, do it slow, do whatever you like.

Second; just reading some of the other things he has done lately, like mocking you, degrading you, and missing/skipping his appointment this morning....you need to tell him to cancel his order for the ring (if he hasn't already done so secretly) and dump him. I see nothing ahead but problems. He is making your life harder. Not supportive as you go through a terrifying period of your life. He is letting you feel more isolated, which is a common control method.

Since he is already making you feel alone, why not finish the job for him and tell him it is over. No more lovey-dovey. No more back rubs, front rubs, side rubs. No more doubling up at night. You can and WILL find better. As long as you are with this guy, you are keeping the bigger and better fish from finding you.

Take care, and if you need to talk, PM any of the people here that you feel comfortable with.
:hug:
 
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