Father Confused on Coclear Implant Decision

I never new that I would be facing a decision that seems to be a total crap shoot.

A QFT:

a smart person only believes half of what he hears.
a genius knows which half to believe.
 
R2D2 said:
(Sorry to be OT Ivan's dad)

Hey Shell that's great for him. Does he teach in a deaf school or in a mainstream school? My sister has been exploring career options for my nephew although he isn't physically minded (so no PE!) but I was just wondering how your brother gets by teaching hearing students (I assume). Doe he have an interpreter with him?
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His first job after getting his BA degree was working in a nursing home (his degree is in recreational therapy) and he worked around in an all-hearing environment. The only time they would hire an terp is for meetings but for his daily interaction with hearing staff or the patients, no terp. My brother expressed his frustrations with communication difficulties with the staff and he has stated that they really didnt take his suggestions or feedback seriously. He felt that he was brushed off. What made him quit his job was when one patient needed CPR so he started administering CPR and it happened that one staff came into the room and started yelling at my brother. He motioned to wait until he is done so he can use his eyes on the patient but that staff pushed him out of the way and continued CPR. My brother said never has he felt so inferior and so low as he did at that moment. He called for a meeting with the boss to file a complaint against that staff. Well, they called that person to determine what happened (the patient died) and the guy said that he felt that my brother was unable to listen for any breathing signs which was why he pushed my brother off. My brother said that he has been certified in CPR for many years and knows how to look for signs of breathing. Well, I guess the boss sided with the staff and said that it was safer for the hearing staff to complete the CPR. The next day, my brother submitted his letter of resignation. He said he wasnt putting up with this oppression BS. I agree with him cuz I am certified in CPR and the trainers have trained deaf people how to monitor for signs of breathing.

Now, my brother works at the deaf school in where he lives. He said he loves it and feels at home there.
 
That's an awful experience for your brother in the nursing home :eek3: It does sound like they didn't make any effort to accommodate his communication needs.

I'm glad that he has found a place where he feels he belongs in the deaf school. I think that would be my nephew's perfect job too. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on what your viewpoint is) in the UK they are closing down a lot of deaf schools so the opportunity there may not be as good in the future.
 
R2D2 said:
That's an awful experience for your brother in the nursing home :eek3: It does sound like they didn't make any effort to accommodate his communication needs.

I'm glad that he has found a place where he feels he belongs in the deaf school. I think that would be my nephew's perfect job too. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on what your viewpoint is) in the UK they are closing down a lot of deaf schools so the opportunity there may not be as good in the future.
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Yea, that is why I am so concerned about this situation. If they close the deaf schools here in the USA, I will lose my job. I have worked in a deaf program at a public school and I was not happy nor comfortable there as I am with my current job. If I lose my job, I will find a way to find the job that I enjoy doing. I refuse to work at a job that I hate or unhappy at!!!
Oh well...
If jobs working with deaf people are becoming scarce then your nephew will have to realize he will have to work with hearing people but the question is will he find a job that he loves and is happy at? *sighs*
 
shel90 said:
Yea, that is why I am so concerned about this situation. If they close the deaf schools here in the USA, I will lose my job. I have worked in a deaf program at a public school and I was not happy nor comfortable there as I am with my current job. If I lose my job, I will find a way to find the job that I enjoy doing. I refuse to work at a job that I hate or unhappy at!!!
Oh well...
If jobs working with deaf people are becoming scarce then your nephew will have to realize he will have to work with hearing people but the question is will he find a job that he loves and is happy at? *sighs*
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Yes, I think your feelings are understandable! Hugs. I hope that it doesn't become an issue for you.
 
Kayla123: Follow up after the implant is another of our big concerns. We wonder how much time the training will take. Sign language seems to come very naturally to Ivan. It is difficult for us but it is something we can see results from and we know we are getting better everyday.

We live in a rural setting on an island and there are no schools for the deaf or speech patholigists with experience with a child like Ivan.

I am so happy to hear that your daughter is doing well with her implant. Do I understand right that you and your daughter have implants?

How old were you when you got your CI and did you do much training?
Ivans dad, It's my daughter who has the implant. I am not dhh. Follow up after the implant is a big part of making the CI work. You won't find many speech pathologists that know how to work with someone who is dhh. Kayla sees an Audio Verbal therapist, which has worked great for Kayla, they work with dhh people. I still take Kayla to see her 1 hour, once a week. She's been going for about 4 1/2 years now. But see the therapy is more to teach the parent how to work with the child at home, and thats where the extensive therapy comes in. The most important part is that Ivan is communicating with you and i'm glad to know that the sign is working great for him. Again, i know it's a very difficult decision but keep in mind that if you do choose the CI, be prepared to put your all into it, if not you won't see much progress. The one thing that gets to me is how people think we implant our child because we want the easy way out and are too lazy to learn sign....If they only knew the amount of work that is put into making a CI work. Like i always say the time spent is worth every minute of it. Good Luck with everything.
 
Ivan's Dad said:
A QFT:

a smart person only believes half of what he hears.
a genius knows which half to believe.
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Heh heh - that's a good quote. I think half the problem is that there is no one "truth" or right way to raise your child in this area. different people will find different things will work for them and there will be different outcomes. You have to work out what is best for your family and for Ivan. You can't make everyone happy in parenting as there will always be someone that will disagree with you.
 
Ivan's Dad said:
I never new that I would be facing a decision that seems to be a total crap shoot.

A QFT:

a smart person only believes half of what he hears.
a genius knows which half to believe.
Click to expand...

I understand that !!! I was faced with the same decisions for my daughter. She was born preemie and severe to profound in both ears. It was like a wrecking ball hit me in the chest when it was confirmed that my daughter was deaf. We have gone through testing and hearing aid trails and more testing now for 8 months or more. I wanted to be sure that there was no change in her hearing and that this was her only chance to hear. I know that there is a possibility that this will not work for her but she will be no worse off because she doesn't hear now. I will love my daughter no matter how this turns out. I am teaching her sign and we are going to the open house for the Deaf Blind school in my area. She will know that she is deaf and if by Gods grace this helps her she will also know the joy of hearing. My daughter will be a beautiful and successful person hearing or not. You just have to weigh all options and go with what is best for you and your family. We can only give advice and share our stories and hope that in some way it may help you. I know that most of the people here have helped me a great deal. Sorry to ramble on. Good luck to you.
 
R2D2 said:
If the reason for giving a child a CI is done to "fix" their deafness I would oppose it on those grounds too. I tend to agree that there are some hearing parents out there who have a grief and acceptance problem and such parent should be encouraged seek further help and counselling.

However if the reason is to increase their opportunities and choices in life then I think that is a perfectly good reason to proceed with a CI. The fact is that many children with CIs learn speech, which they could not have done with hearing aids and speech is empowering, just as a Chinese migrant empowers himself by learning English.

Not all parents go through the CI route do it in order to "fix" their children and indeed they try and participate in deaf events and learn to sign.
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I would take it one step further. It is not simply speech that is empowering, but language. And language can be oral or manual.
 
Originally Posted by shel90
Yea, that is why I am so concerned about this situation. If they close the deaf schools here in the USA, I will lose my job. I have worked in a deaf program at a public school and I was not happy nor comfortable there as I am with my current job. If I lose my job, I will find a way to find the job that I enjoy doing. I refuse to work at a job that I hate or unhappy at!!!

shel90,
The deaf school here has a program for Ci kids. It is kinda new but maybe that is something you could bring up there. The growing number of implanted kids is what made them decide to start classes for them also. If they already have one sorry. Just a thought.
 
R2D2 said:
Heh heh - that's a good quote. I think half the problem is that there is no one "truth" or right way to raise your child in this area. different people will find different things will work for them and there will be different outcomes. You have to work out what is best for your family and for Ivan. You can't make everyone happy in parenting as there will always be someone that will disagree with you.
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QTF
 
Hi Ivans Dad! One question..........has your son been evaluted for a language production disorder called apraxia? That might actually be the direct cause of his speech delays. Rather then a language disorder that is caused by lack of exposure. Especially as apraxia is very common in dhh kids in general. Even kids with relatively mild losses (as well as "doesn't/shouldn't pose any problems" losses, like unilateral loss) can be affected by it. That might be something to look into. I can totally feel for you....seems like most of the parents here,(with the exception of Fragmenter) their kids really didn't "right off the bat" benifit from hearing aids. If your son had no benifit whatsoever, there'd be no problem. However, on the other hand, it does sound like he would benifit from the CI on his "deaf" ear....Look at it this way.........there's no way that a hearing aid can help on that ear....so why not take advantage of being able to get him implanted?
Whoever told you that all implanted kids speak was kind of fudging it. Implanted kids' oral abilty varies significently from "good even for a hearing kid" to preschool level language skills, and everything in between. The reasons behind kids picking up oral skills are very many and varied. They haven't found any one reason for sucess with oral skills. I do recall from my reading that most oral sucesses tend to have attended oral schools. However even today there are still kids who actually do need a TC program who are oral school alumns. Some other kids may have the "infant memory" of sound that helps them remember how to process sound the way a hearing person does......Most deaf kids lost their hearing as babies. I'm pretty sure the research indicates that the best users of CI are those who lost their hearing.........even as babies! Also others might just have the knack for oral skills. Even back in the old days, something like 10% of profoundly deaf kids were oral sucesses. Even if they didn't have speech perception with their aids. Related to that, some of the AV kids might just be products of families that encourage overprogramming. Not bashing AV......but it does seem like it really melds well with families that buy their kids toys to raise their SAT scores. Just as an aside, I'm very pro- auditory verbal therapy.....If a kid can go see an auditory verbal therapist, that's awesome.....it'll help them.
 
Deaf Signers who are upset?

Shel90 and others:

There seems to be many individuals who feel cheated by their up-bringing in an auditory-verbal environment. They have admitted it here in this forum, I have met many Deaf adults who feel that way. This is so common it cannot be ignored.

Are there anybody out there who was raised in a family that used primarily sign language, who feel cheated concerning their upbringing?
 
language delays?

deafdyke said:
Hi Ivans Dad! One question..........has your son been evaluted for a language production disorder called apraxia? That might actually be the direct cause of his speech delays. Rather then a language disorder that is caused by lack of exposure. Especially as apraxia is very common in dhh kids in general.
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Ivan has only been using his aids for 10 months. How much can be expected from a child who has only started to use his hearing. As for language development he certainly seems to understand us when we sign and he make great efforts sign back to us.
 
Ivan's Dad said:
Shel90 and others:

There seems to be many individuals who feel cheated by their up-bringing in an auditory-verbal environment. They have admitted it here in this forum, I have met many Deaf adults who feel that way. This is so common it cannot be ignored.

Are there anybody out there who was raised in a family that used primarily sign language, who feel cheated concerning their upbringing?
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Me. I was born into an all-deaf family, therefore ASL is my first language. I married a wife who is deaf but is able to communicate with anybody, anywhere and anytime. Her day to day life is just so very convenient. You could say it took me 7 years to see the light. I wish I could speak and hear because there have been countless situations where I wish I could speak & hear. I will face those kind of situations again and again in the future. It's a "Groundhog Day" thing for me.

I guess people wants what they don't have. But in my situation, I see both sides clearly and I have my own opinion. The window for speech & hearing skills will close and the window for sign language will never close. Sure, there may be ASL snobs who thinks you cannot sign as well as them... but I've met a couple of deaf people who grew up oral and learned how to sign very skillfully after high school.

Why do you need sign language? Just to be able to communicate with a minority group of people in this world? I fail to come up with an extremely important reason to know sign language.
 
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