Explicit 'Banned Book' Infuriates Virginia Father...

I was cleaning the boys bathroom the other day and found a "Hooters" magazine hidden in back of the closet. Just very prety girls, with skimpy outfits on. At first, I thought to trash it!....But gave it some more thought, and just stuck it right back in there.

It's my 15 yr. olds book. Now I know why he spends "more time" in the bathroom (he still doesn't know that I know it's in there).

Right now, football is his passion. And girls do call him often, but he's too busy, and once in a while, he will ask me to take him and a date to the movies, and I pick them up also.

But, if I found a "banned" book with explicit sexual pictures in it, I would confront him right then. I don't feel he needs "an education" in homosexuality or sexual intercourse at his age!

I can understand the father's rage about this book. Each parent is different. My 17 yr. old (now he is 18) admitted to the doctor he had unprotected sex with his girlfriend. They are now broke up. When this happened, all 3 of my boys and I sat down and had a big conversation about it. I've made it plain and simple....they can go to jail for having sex with an underage girl, and the fact that it's wrong at their age.

Keeping teenagers busy with sports and activities is the best thing to do. Plus, they have a right and a left hand, use it.
 
rockin'robin said:
I was cleaning the boys bathroom the other day and found a "Hooters" magazine hidden in back of the closet. Just very prety girls, with skimpy outfits on. At first, I thought to trash it!....But gave it some more thought, and just stuck it right back in there.

It's my 15 yr. olds book. Now I know why he spends "more time" in the bathroom (he still doesn't know that I know it's in there).

Right now, football is his passion. And girls do call him often, but he's too busy, and once in a while, he will ask me to take him and a date to the movies, and I pick them up also.

But, if I found a "banned" book with explicit sexual pictures in it, I would confront him right then. I don't feel he needs "an education" in homosexuality or sexual intercourse at his age!

I can understand the father's rage about this book. Each parent is different. My 17 yr. old (now he is 18) admitted to the doctor he had unprotected sex with his girlfriend. They are now broke up. When this happened, all 3 of my boys and I sat down and had a big conversation about it. I've made it plain and simple....they can go to jail for having sex with an underage girl, and the fact that it's wrong at their age.

Keeping teenagers busy with sports and activities is the best thing to do. Plus, they have a right and a left hand, use it.
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Huh? At 18?
 
Wow, no sex even at 18? I get the unprotected part, but 18 is not that outrageously young.

rockin'robin, what state do you live in? A lot of states allow 16- or 17-year-olds to consent to sex. (You can look your state up here.) Not to mention it's a law that's hard to enforce, and some states make exceptions for partners that are close in age, which are known as Romeo and Juliet Laws.
 
Do you realize that sexual orientation is determined by two years of age? Learning about homosexuality is not going to turn you kid gay. Personally, I think that the heterosexual rape culture is more damaging to straight kids than learning about an alternative life style.
 
shel90 said:
U mean he is not allowed to read books about sex at 18?
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My 18 year old more than likely does have sex now. He has a new girlfriend. The reason I was "concerned" was that at 17, he had "unprotected" sex and admitted it to the doctor. He was checked for any diseases, and he is clean. He has condoms in his wallet, always had, since age 16. Unfortunately, he did not use them when he first had sex! That was my concern.

As far as my 18 year old reading sex books, he does not...to my knowledge. No books were ever at home or his room. If he does "read them", it's somewhere else.

I haven't actually "quizzed" my 18 year old if he is having sex. The only statement I made to him was...."are you both using protection??"....He replied, "yes, she had a shot that will prevent pregnancy." I replied "excellent! You both are too young to be parents", and he said "Ohhh, yeah"! And the conversation was dropped.
 
CJB said:
Wow, no sex even at 18? I get the unprotected part, but 18 is not that outrageously young.

rockin'robin, what state do you live in? A lot of states allow 16- or 17-year-olds to consent to sex. (You can look your state up here.) Not to mention it's a law that's hard to enforce, and some states make exceptions for partners that are close in age, which are known as Romeo and Juliet Laws.
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I live in Florida. And yes, I do know about that law. A friend of mine, she allowed her 17 yr. old to move in his 16 yr. old girlfriend. IMO, that would never happen in my home. They have since "broken up" and my friend said she was "so glad".!....I asked her if she was gonna allow him to do this again, and she said "No way!"
 
sallylou said:
Do you realize that sexual orientation is determined by two years of age? Learning about homosexuality is not going to turn you kid gay. Personally, I think that the heterosexual rape culture is more damaging to straight kids than learning about an alternative life style.
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Yes, I do. My boys are not "gay". They are straight. Even tho' we have not discussed homosexuality, I'm sure they know all the avenues of that, even learned about it in school and from their friends.

My 18 and 15 yr. old are old enuf....but my 13 yr. old is not.....he knows the "basics"....but I'm not about to having books around my home about sex. When he reaches age 16, he will have condoms in his wallet. The same for the 15 yr. old.
 
RR, you're a wise mom to make sure that your boys are well informed and protected. You've supported them without shaming them. I hope that I do as well for my boys.
 
I strongly believe that teenagers should refrain from having sex! Teaching them (my boys) to "respect" all girls, keep their hands off of them also.

Don't we already have so much "unwanted pregnancies" in this world?

I was deeply disappointed about my son, at 17, having unprotected sex. If the girl would have gotten pregnant, it would affect his whole life, and his dreams of whatever he aspires to do with his future.

At age 16 and on, there will be a lot of temptations for them. All I can do is to make sure they have a condom in their wallets. And a lot of "talking" to them, keeping everything in the open.

I still chauffer my 15 yr. old whenever he wants to take a girl to the movies, and pick them up also. But also, keeping him busy with his sports and outside activities. Right now, he isn't really "into" girls, just sports.

My 13 yr. old is into his schoolwork, and books, reads all the time. And skateboards. No girls at the moment. But I know within a year or so, things will change with him.

Maybe I'm "old fashioned" or even behind the times. But I do want their futures to be bright and not having babies when they are still babies themselves. Even at age 18, their whole life is ahead of them. Too young to have a baby!
 
Way too young to be a parent! My grandmother married at 16 and my mother married at 17. Both of them told me from an early age not to get married so soon. My mother especially insisted that I had to go to college. She would have hog tied me and hauled me to the campus if she had to. I have no idea what she would have resorted to if I had wanted to get married. LOL!

It's important for a person to get an education and have some time to be free before becoming a parent.
 
I agree with that, SallyLou....most all parents want the very best for their child. Raising children is very hard work. And children trying to raise children is even worse!

So many cases where the teenagers have a baby, and abuse it, or just give it up and it goes to a foster home and perhaps even more abuse.

I've told my boys....get married at 30 or after. That way, you should be settled down somewhat, have a job, car, etc., and something to offer the marriage to a "nice" girl. And hopefully, mature enuf to raise a family and raise them right.

My 18 yr. olds girlfriend has brought up the subject of "marriage" to him, (he told me) and he said..."Whoa!...I'm not ready for that yet." He's not ready to move in with her either. He has a male roommate. Seems he's getting more mature everyday. Right now, it's "party time" for him.
 
rockin'robin said:
I live in Florida. And yes, I do know about that law. A friend of mine, she allowed her 17 yr. old to move in his 16 yr. old girlfriend. IMO, that would never happen in my home. They have since "broken up" and my friend said she was "so glad".!....I asked her if she was gonna allow him to do this again, and she said "No way!"
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So then this part of your previous post doesn't hold any real threat:

I've made it plain and simple....they can go to jail for having sex with an underage girl, and the fact that it's wrong at their age.
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Unless one person is significantly younger than the other, they can't go to jail for it in the state of Florida.
 
rockin'robin said:
I was deeply disappointed about my son, at 17, having unprotected sex. If the girl would have gotten pregnant, it would affect his whole life, and his dreams of whatever he aspires to do with his future.
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I can understand about the unprotected part. That's unsafe. But having sex in general? People are sexual beings. Even my parents both had had sex by 14 and 15 respectively.
 
Studies have shown that rates of premarital sex have remained steady over time. The wholesome 50's weren't really so tame. The only difference it that now we have birth control to prevent pregnancies now.
 
sallylou said:
Studies have shown that rates of premarital sex have remained steady over time. The wholesome 50's weren't really so tame. The only difference it that now we have birth control to prevent pregnancies now.
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And people aren't as pressured into hiding their sexual relations in strictly adhering to the sex-within-marriage model as they were in the 1950's.
 
rockin'robin said:
I was cleaning the boys bathroom the other day and found a "Hooters" magazine hidden in back of the closet. Just very prety girls, with skimpy outfits on. At first, I thought to trash it!....But gave it some more thought, and just stuck it right back in there.

It's my 15 yr. olds book. Now I know why he spends "more time" in the bathroom (he still doesn't know that I know it's in there).

Right now, football is his passion. And girls do call him often, but he's too busy, and once in a while, he will ask me to take him and a date to the movies, and I pick them up also.

But, if I found a "banned" book with explicit sexual pictures in it, I would confront him right then. I don't feel he needs "an education" in homosexuality or sexual intercourse at his age!

I can understand the father's rage about this book. Each parent is different. My 17 yr. old (now he is 18) admitted to the doctor he had unprotected sex with his girlfriend. They are now broke up. When this happened, all 3 of my boys and I sat down and had a big conversation about it. I've made it plain and simple....they can go to jail for having sex with an underage girl, and the fact that it's wrong at their age.

Keeping teenagers busy with sports and activities is the best thing to do. Plus, they have a right and a left hand, use it.
Click to expand...

I have a good friend who was one of my clinical profs when I was in grad school. She told a story in Lifespan Development that has always stuck with me. She raised 5 boys. When the 1st one became a teen-ager, she found a girly magazine under his mattress and freaked out. By the time she got to the 3rd one, she was checking to make sure the girly magazines were there!:giggle:

Lesson: don't freak out over those little things that are a part of the normal developmental process.
 
sallylou said:
Studies have shown that rates of premarital sex have remained steady over time. The wholesome 50's weren't really so tame. The only difference it that now we have birth control to prevent pregnancies now.
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The Victorian times weren't that straightlaced either. I have seen many illegitimate babies in Austria in that time frame when I do my genealogy research.
 
Buffalo said:
The Victorian times weren't that straightlaced either. I have seen many illegitimate babies in Austria in that time frame when I do my genealogy research.
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Agreed. It is not a matter of premarital sex being more prevalent. It is matter of the discussion of premarital sex being more acceptable.
 
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