Dude...

[Foxrac]

This father loves his 16 year old son so much that he spent 170 consecutive (school) days waving at him each morning as the school bus drove by his house. The bus had to follow a route that passes by the teen's house the second time.

Teen's dad spends school year waving at bus, embarrassing son | Deseret News

I liked his last attire...very fitting of him. Aarrgh!

Thumbs up for this Dad.

Interesting... Good for you.

You should join like him and send a picture to alldeaf forum.

 

[jillio]

He knows it, yes. But I think when this kid grows up and looks back, he'll appreciate it even more and laugh about it. Even the kids on the bus got a good kick out of it and looked forward to what he would dress up as.

I doubt it very seriously. When he grows up, he will be in therapy trying to deal with the resentment he feels toward a father that would intentionally humiliate him. To condone this behavior is to condone abuse.

 

[jillio]

Obviously he had time to get ready his costumes each morning. He certainly did very well hiding his costume(s) for the next day.

Totally self centered and self serving. Not an ounce of concern for the way his actions affect his child.

 

[AlleyCat]

I doubt it very seriously. When he grows up, he will be in therapy trying to deal with the resentment he feels toward a father that would intentionally humiliate him. To condone this behavior is to condone abuse.

I'm sorry, but that's what I was thinking too.

I was intentionally humiliated for many reasons during my school years, and I still carry that today. You don't forget some of these things.

 

[jillio]

I'm sorry, but that's what I was thinking too.

I was intentionally humiliated for many reasons during my school years, and I still carry that today. You don't forget some of these things.

Yes. And when that humilation comes from a parent, it is multiplied in the negative effects it has on that child's entire life.

 

[kokonut]

From the father's blog, Wave at the Bus, Rochelle, his wife clarifies:

About Rain: He is genetically predisposed to having a good sense of humor. He’s a fun, likable guy, with a 4.0 GPA in Honors classes. He plays the trumpet in the American Fork High School Marching Band (state champions). He’ll be marching in the 2012 Tournament of Roses Parade (in Pasadena, California on January 2, 2012). And he’s on the verge of earning his Boy Scout of America "Eagle Scout" award. And yes, he did laugh at the waves. If you look closely at some of the pictures, you’ll see that he and his friends were waving back. He knows how to laugh. He’s a great kid.

Political correctness: We realize that many of these waves are not politically correct. We never claimed to be PC. For goodness sake, it’s humor people. Good thing we aren’t running for office of any kind. Although we did get a laugh out of a recent Tweet that said Dale should be “Ruler of the World.”

Wave At The Bus: Clarifications and Explanations

No license is needed to figure this one out. Keep the hand-wringing at home.

And, dudes, I'd love to meet this family. This father has loads of humor, and so does his son, apparently.

 

[StSapphire]

I doubt it very seriously. When he grows up, he will be in therapy trying to deal with the resentment he feels toward a father that would intentionally humiliate him. To condone this behavior is to condone abuse.

Totally self centered and self serving. Not an ounce of concern for the way his actions affect his child.

I'm really not getting that from this. It doesn't appear that the dad was doing this to hurt his kid at all, so unless there are other issues of which this is exacerbating (which there may be and we don't see about from this article), then I really don't see this being harmful. I wonder if you're more apt to seeing harm from seemingly innocent actions because you work specifically with those who are already harmed? Could be a mild bit of sampling bias, if you're going based off of personal experience for your analysis.

I'm sorry, but that's what I was thinking too.

I was intentionally humiliated for many reasons during my school years, and I still carry that today. You don't forget some of these things.

I would assume that intentions are useful here - was the intention to hurt or humiliate you, or was the intention seemingly good with just a simple disregard for your interpretation?

Yes. And when that humilation comes from a parent, it is multiplied in the negative effects it has on that child's entire life.

See above.

 

[jillio]

I think his was a creative way to express his love (and creative humor) for his son. I think it was hilarious on what he did. I don't think this kid is scarred for life at all. The father certainly created something memorable that showed the quirky side of his love for his son.

People that beat their kids claim to be expressing their love, too.

Yeah, this is quirky all right. The problem is that you think quirky to the degree that it humiliates a child is okay as long as it entertains the parent.

 

[jillio]

I'm really not getting that from this. It doesn't appear that the dad was doing this to hurt his kid at all, so unless there are other issues of which this is exacerbating (which there may be and we don't see about from this article), then I really don't see this being harmful. I wonder if you're more apt to seeing harm from seemingly innocent actions because you work specifically with those who are already harmed? Could be a mild bit of sampling bias, if you're going based off of personal experience for your analysis.



I would assume that intentions are useful here - was the intention to hurt or humiliate you, or was the intention seemingly good with just a simple disregard for your interpretation?



See above.

It doesn't matter whether the father was intending to hurt the child or not. The problem is that the child has stated he was embarrassed, and yet the parent continued in the action. The damage is done no matter what the father's intent was. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

No one said this guy doesn't love his child. I am saying this is a less than healthy way to express it.

 

[AlleyCat]

I would assume that intentions are useful here - was the intention to hurt or humiliate you, or was the intention seemingly good with just a simple disregard for your interpretation?

Both. Depends on the person I'm referring to.

It doesn't matter whether the father was intending to hurt the child or not. The problem is that the child has stated he was embarrassed, and yet the parent continued in the action. The damage is done no matter what the father's intent was. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Yes.

 

[Babyblue]

It doesn't matter whether the father was intending to hurt the child or not. The problem is that the child has stated he was embarrassed, and yet the parent continued in the action. The damage is done no matter what the father's intent was. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

No one said this guy doesn't love his child. I am saying this is a less than healthy way to express it.

I also thought it was strange. It was like the father enjoyed having all that extra attentions from the students on the bus waving at him.

 

[jillio]

I also thought it was strange. It was like the father enjoyed having all that extra attentions from the students on the bus waving at him.

Yes. More concern for what it was doing for his ego than the impact it was having on his son.

 

[StSapphire]

It doesn't matter whether the father was intending to hurt the child or not. The problem is that the child has stated he was embarrassed, and yet the parent continued in the action. The damage is done no matter what the father's intent was. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

No one said this guy doesn't love his child. I am saying this is a less than healthy way to express it.

Again, this looks very strongly like a form of sampling bias, since you're in far more contact with those who have been harmed (rather than the possibly many more who have not been harmed by similar actions) by such actions.

I'm sure for some, embarrassment (regardless of intentions) is a form of harm. I'm not quite so sure that I buy that as a valid null hypothesis, though.

 

[StSapphire]

Yes. More concern for what it was doing for his ego than the impact it was having on his son.

Or he's a well-adjusted parent who might actually understand what the impact upon his kid was, and understood that for his family, it was not harmful. Remember, false accusations of abuse can be just as harmful to a child.

 

[jillio]

Again, this looks very strongly like a form of sampling bias, since you're in far more contact with those who have been harmed (rather than the possibly many more who have not been harmed by similar actions) by such actions.

I'm sure for some, embarrassment (regardless of intentions) is a form of harm. I'm not quite so sure that I buy that as a valid null hypothesis, though.

There is no sampling bias to be concerned with, as there is no sample.:roll: Nor is a null hypothesis a concern, as there is no hypothesis. This is not a research design.

Embarrassment always does harm...in some cases more than others. If it were not a negative reaction, it would be called flattery.

 

[kokonut]

Damage?

LOL.

Loosen up, dudes.

If it helps, go back and look at the Wave at the Bus blog and look over to the right side column near the top. There's a donate button for "Rain's college/therapy fund."

Hysterical!

Let's not be a sour puss and wring hands here

Clever marketing, I'd say. 864,000 total page views so far. A few days ago it was like around 300,000. Word is getting around very quickly. I think Rain's college tuition will be fully paid for thanks to his Dad's humor, generosity and love. And Rain will be thankful for having a Dad with such a great humor.

Wave At The Bus: Clarifications and Explanations

 

[jillio]

Man, I have concern over the emotional well being of some's children.

 

[AlleyCat]

Therapy fund?

 

[jillio]

Or he's a well-adjusted parent who might actually understand what the impact upon his kid was, and understood that for his family, it was not harmful. Remember, false accusations of abuse can be just as harmful to a child.

If that were so, he would not continue in an action that his child has already informed him was causing the child embarrassment.

"Dad, please, you are really embarrassing me!"

"I don't give a shit how you feel son, I'm having fun!"

 

[StSapphire]

The sample would have been "people you have interacted with that have shaped your opinions".

The hypothesis would have been "this is intentionally embarrassing and harmful and abusive".

I view everything as potential research! Or at least I like to recycle terms when they appear to be vaguely similar.

Your implications seem to be that all forms of any even vaguely negative emotions are inherently harmful, which appears to me to quite simply be a crock.

I know that personal anecdotes are not persuasive arguments, but can you at least point out the flaw in the following one? As a child, I often expressed embarrassment that my parents wouldn't buy me an SNES like all the other kids had, and I also expressed disgust that they made me eat things like vegetables and potatoes. Both of these were negative emotions. Do you consider the actions which caused me to feel these emotions were harmful and should have been altered? I specifically remember informing my parents several times of my acute embarrassment at not having an SNES, and of my severe disgust of carrots and potatoes, so they were well aware of the negative emotions I had.