Does anyone else feel like their life was ruined by mainstream school

suzanne said:
I am really considering moving to the city where there are deaf schools. I have 2 kids that are deaf/hoh . Oldest is 7 years old ..then I have a 7 month old. As of now my daughter is in first grade and loves school so much. So I cant see homeschooling her which was one of my options. But we will be leaving our house behind so in other words foreclose....move to an apartment then my kids will go to deaf schools till they graduate high school. I am really thinking this will be best. I have a great team here and all my services are close. But for the sake of the kids and what is best I think it will benefit them. The deal with our house will be heartbreaking...all our friends neighbors will wont see again being 3 hours away. But you gotta do what is best! I dont want my kids to be teased, bullied or feel "Different" cause they have hearing aids. I know someday in some situation it will occur but to be in a mainstreamed school dealing with it daily. no way. I am reading very few stories of people who like public/mainstreamed schooling....but it is few stories. I will do anything for these kids to make their life amazing and see deafness as a part of who they are. not something they wish they never had. I feel like sending them to a deaf school they will feel at home in a sense feel welcomed and never have the chance to feel different as they grow to young adults. Any feedback would be helpful.......its a huge decision for us as parents to make.
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YEAH!!!!!! VERY excited about your decision. A lot of families with deaf kids move to towns or states with good deaf schools. AND, there's the plus that Minn is a pretty sizable deaf school, and also is very academic too. There's also the plus that local school mainstreaming tends to be more experienced with dhh kids. it's actually not that unusual for kids to take some classes at deaf school. it IS a huge decision, but on the other hand ....
One thing you might wanna do is research other states schools for the Deaf.
There are some REALLY good ones. If you're moving, you might want to see what is out there in other states first......Kansas Schooll, Maryland School, Texas School, Florida School for the deaf and blind, Rocky Mountain Deaf School, Western PA School, Indiana School for the Deaf...and there are some regional program schools that are really good too.
 
GrendelQ said:
And there are different philosophies in place in deaf schools/programs: some are auditory-oral, some total communication, some bi-bi, some auditory-verbal. Programs in place in local schools can span those approaches, too.

.
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There are no auditory verbal schools. It's a philosphy of raising dhh kids, not a system of classroom management.
Besides auditory verbals core belief is that kids should attend typical hearing schools.
The auditory oral private schools are pretty much DEAD as actual, meaning graded schools. Most of the enrollment at the auditory oral schools are in preschool or kindergarten. Like even ten years ago, St Joseph's, and CID had enough of a grade enrollment that they still had dorms. But now even Clarke Northampton's campus has dwindled to less then forty students, and they sold the campus and shut the dorms.
 
I'll say yes and no. I was born deaf and my parents chose to do multiple surgeries when I was a baby to make me hearing. I was bullied alot because I was still hoh. My teachers refused to do any sort of signing and forced me into speach therapy. Asl classes weren't offered till my jr year, and before that the schools didn't want to treat me like I was different so I wasn't allowed to use any sort of signing. There were no deaf schools where I lived, and my family has no history of deafness before me. So my parents did what they thought was best but my hearing has gotten worse, and now I'm trying to learn to sign as an adult and its extremely difficult, and I wish I had the chance to sign all along. At the same time I did make some amazing friends that I wouldn't have if I went to a deaf school
 
Dixie you just describe me in every detail cept the ones that excepted me where the drugies or the ones that wanted sex. Since I been molested at a young age I didn't think that sex was anything important. Just an activity. ... oh well,

Been through many abusive relationships that could be shown on Lifetime channel lol.

But now in my old age things are ok Wonderful husband , grown kids, grandchildren. I still isolate quite abit but oh well,
 
My view if anyone is interested: when life gives you a headache do not ALLOW yourself to feel down about it. I know nothing of what the Deaf have to endure in this hearie world, but I know that if you let things get to you then they will. Follow the Serenity Prayer for its words are on the money. This is just a life lesson and it is not regarding the specific point raised by this thread. Take it for what it's worth.
 
AquaBlue said:
My view if anyone is interested: when life gives you a headache do not ALLOW yourself to feel down about it. I know nothing of what the Deaf have to endure in this hearie world, but I know that if you let things get to you then they will. Follow the Serenity Prayer for its words are on the money. This is just a life lesson and it is not regarding the specific point raised by this thread. Take it for what it's worth.
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:roll:
 
bojaq1 said:
Dixie you just describe me in every detail cept the ones that excepted me where the drugies or the ones that wanted sex. Since I been molested at a young age I didn't think that sex was anything important. Just an activity. ... oh well,

Been through many abusive relationships that could be shown on Lifetime channel lol.

But now in my old age things are ok Wonderful husband , grown kids, grandchildren. I still isolate quite abit but oh well,
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Why is it that people think that dhh oral and mainstreamed kids will automaticly get access to hearing society?!?!?! I see so many adults who were dhh as kids, who were pushed towards the Mainstream and being Normal. They expended so much energy on trying to fake being "normal" that they never really had a chance to develop social/emotionally, or they think that if they can get a "normal" person to like them (no matter if they are actually really screwed up) they can finally like themselves. It all boils down to self hatred b/c society tells them they NEED to be "normal."/function normally.....they can't.....so there's this vicius cycle of self hatred.
 
Did mainstreaming ruin my life? Yes. I am but a shell of the person I used to be before being mainstreamed in middle and high school. In fact I don't even remember who that girl used to be. As a result of my experience(s) the bullying, the harrassment, the condescending nature of how I was treated...It pains me to say this ( many of you know this but for those who don't )but I am a married 30 year old woman who is unable or unwilling to let anyone get close to her. I do not have any friends at all. I am a loner but wasn't this way before my experience. I miss the person I used to be at least what I can remember before I was shut down in the cruelest way. I remember the day I shut down. It was in middle school. I wrote a paper deemed " too advanced for someone like me ". The teacher said " You didn't write this. It's too advanced for someone like you ". She made me out to be a plagiarizer. A parent conference was held with that teacher over my paper and my parents stood up for me and told her that I did write what I did. I shut down then and the blows that came after shut me down further. Co-workers have tried to get to know me. Been invited out to see a band a male co-worker played in but I ran from him. Wouldn't let him get to know me. I often times come across on purpose of course to my co-workers as aloof, distant and when prodded for information I'm never serious when giving an answer although the person may think I am being honest or serious it's really just bullshit to entertain them. They don't know that and they assume they know me when really it's just smoke and mirrors. No, my family and my husband ( bless his heart he would not give up on me and kept literally chasing me although I pushed him away over and over and still do...) know me but they don't know how deeply seated this trauma is. I have almost zero social skills from being in the environment I was or as my husband puts it-I was made to feel like I was a social failure with no social skills. This all sounds really screwed up but when you go through what I did and many of you here have...it changes you forever. I've a knot in my throat right now typing this and tears are starting to well up remembering and wanting, really wanting a connection with someone that isn't on my monitor but yet I cannot let anyone in. The only way that can happen is if the person keeps on at me. If I push you away-don't run from me. It's something I did and don't need to do any more to keep my heart safe. Keep talking to me, keep trying. To gain my trust is very, very difficult. If I think for one moment that you see me like they did I'm gone.

Sad to say that's me in a nutshell. I also hope in pathetic terms that some people I know will read this and maybe understand? Speaking for me is..not the best avenue for me to get my thoughts across for obvious reasons.

Thanks for making this thread OP!

p.s and to add insult to injury-I'm still treated the way I was in school by many people and the healing process never starts. I keep hoping the older I get the better it'll get. To be starkly honest-I feel more like a failure now than I did as a kid. Adults can be just a cruel. As a whole I think society needs to change how they view a Deaf person. They are creating broken souls. To break the soul of a child only to still break that persons soul after going through such torment it's almost unbearable at times for me to deal with. Have I thought of going home to heaven? More than I'd like to admit. However, I know that there are people out there who have had it worse and that there are people who do care and are worth opening up to. So, I will stick around for the time being. I've often said to people I'm not afraid of death or to die and it's the truth. I actually look forward to it. If it's sooner rather than later that'd be great. I cannot picture 30 more years of being this way-but if that is what "god" has in store for me I'll stick it out the best I can like everyone else here is doing.

alright...this is the end of my opening up. I tend to stick to lighter threads...ha.
 
FadedRose said:
Did mainstreaming ruin my life? Yes. I am but a shell of the person I used to be before being mainstreamed in middle and high school. In fact I don't even remember who that girl used to be. As a result of my experience(s) the bullying, the harrassment, the condescending nature of how I was treated...It pains me to say this ( many of you know this but for those who don't )but I am a married 30 year old woman who is unable or unwilling to let anyone get close to her. I do not have any friends at all. I am a loner but wasn't this way before my experience. I miss the person I used to be at least what I can remember before I was shut down in the cruelest way. I remember the day I shut down. It was in middle school. I wrote a paper deemed " too advanced for someone like me ". The teacher said " You didn't write this. It's too advanced for someone like you ". She made me out to be a plagiarizer. A parent conference was held with that teacher over my paper and my parents stood up for me and told her that I did write what I did. I shut down then and the blows that came after shut me down further. Co-workers have tried to get to know me. Been invited out to see a band a male co-worker played in but I ran from him. Wouldn't let him get to know me. I often times come across on purpose of course to my co-workers as aloof, distant and when prodded for information I'm never serious when giving an answer although the person may think I am being honest or serious it's really just bullshit to entertain them. They don't know that and they assume they know me when really it's just smoke and mirrors. No, my family and my husband ( bless his heart he would not give up on me and kept literally chasing me although I pushed him away over and over and still do...) know me but they don't know how deeply seated this trauma is. I have almost zero social skills from being in the environment I was or as my husband puts it-I was made to feel like I was a social failure with no social skills. This all sounds really screwed up but when you go through what I did and many of you here have...it changes you forever. I've a knot in my throat right now typing this and tears are starting to well up remembering and wanting, really wanting a connection with someone that isn't on my monitor but yet I cannot let anyone in. The only way that can happen is if the person keeps on at me. If I push you away-don't run from me. It's something I did and don't need to do any more to keep my heart safe. Keep talking to me, keep trying. To gain my trust is very, very difficult. If I think for one moment that you see me like they did I'm gone.

Sad to say that's me in a nutshell. I also hope in pathetic terms that some people I know will read this and maybe understand? Speaking for me is..not the best avenue for me to get my thoughts across for obvious reasons.

Thanks for making this thread OP!
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Many deaf people totally understand how you feel. The problem lies with most hearing parents of deaf children who ignore stories like these and continue to mainstream deaf children. I guess it must be " It won't happen to me" attitude kind of thing. Some deaf children have been lucky to escape without any issues but the majority of us do not. Some are minor and some are major like your story. I am sorry that you had to endure this.
 
shel90 said:
Many deaf people totally understand how you feel. The problem lies with most hearing parents of deaf children who ignore stories like these and continue to mainstream deaf children. I guess it must be " It won't happen to me" attitude kind of thing. Some deaf children have been lucky to escape without any issues but the majority of us do not. Some are minor and some are major like your story. I am sorry that you had to endure this.
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I agree. I wish the parents of Deaf children would stop and think of the ramifications of what they are choosing for their child. Some do make it through unscathed but the majority I've met on here haven't.

If there are any parents here reading this do you want your child to be 30 years old and....like this? I don't think so. My parents thought they were doing what was right and followed along what they were told because the "experts" told them it would be the right thing to do. All I can say is listen your child, not the experts. My parents although I told them in more words or less to "get me out of here", didn't listen to me. My father is now 76 years old and we've had talks about what I went through. He regrets making the decisions he did. He has told me that if he could do it over again I would have gone to a deaf school.

Do you want to have this conversation with your grown child when you are old? If you don't...listen to them now.
 
FadedRose said:
I agree. I wish the parents of Deaf children would stop and think of the ramifications of what they are choosing for their child. Some do make it through unscathed but the majority I've met on here haven't.

If there are any parents here reading this do you want your child to be 30 years old and....like this? I don't think so. My parents thought they were doing what was right and followed along what they were told because the "experts" told them it would be the right thing to do. All I can say is listen your child, not the experts. My parents although I told them in more words or less to "get me out of here", didn't listen to me. My father is now 76 years old and we've had talks about what I went through. He regrets making the decisions he did. He has told me that if he could do it over again I would have gone to a deaf school.

Do you want to have this conversation with your grown child when you are old? If you don't...listen to them now.
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My mom has a deep regret for mainstreaming me. Like your parents, she listened to the so-called experts by thinking it would make me normal if I never learned ASL or go to the Deaf school.
 
FadedRose said:
Did mainstreaming ruin my life? Yes. I am but a shell of the person I used to be before being mainstreamed in middle and high school. In fact I don't even remember who that girl used to be. As a result of my experience(s) the bullying, the harrassment, the condescending nature of how I was treated...It pains me to say this ( many of you know this but for those who don't )but I am a married 30 year old woman who is unable or unwilling to let anyone get close to her. I do not have any friends at all. I am a loner but wasn't this way before my experience. I miss the person I used to be at least what I can remember before I was shut down in the cruelest way. I remember the day I shut down. It was in middle school. I wrote a paper deemed " too advanced for someone like me ". The teacher said " You didn't write this. It's too advanced for someone like you ". She made me out to be a plagiarizer. A parent conference was held with that teacher over my paper and my parents stood up for me and told her that I did write what I did. I shut down then and the blows that came after shut me down further. Co-workers have tried to get to know me. Been invited out to see a band a male co-worker played in but I ran from him. Wouldn't let him get to know me. I often times come across on purpose of course to my co-workers as aloof, distant and when prodded for information I'm never serious when giving an answer although the person may think I am being honest or serious it's really just bullshit to entertain them. They don't know that and they assume they know me when really it's just smoke and mirrors. No, my family and my husband ( bless his heart he would not give up on me and kept literally chasing me although I pushed him away over and over and still do...) know me but they don't know how deeply seated this trauma is. I have almost zero social skills from being in the environment I was or as my husband puts it-I was made to feel like I was a social failure with no social skills. This all sounds really screwed up but when you go through what I did and many of you here have...it changes you forever. I've a knot in my throat right now typing this and tears are starting to well up remembering and wanting, really wanting a connection with someone that isn't on my monitor but yet I cannot let anyone in. The only way that can happen is if the person keeps on at me. If I push you away-don't run from me. It's something I did and don't need to do any more to keep my heart safe. Keep talking to me, keep trying. To gain my trust is very, very difficult. If I think for one moment that you see me like they did I'm gone.

Sad to say that's me in a nutshell. I also hope in pathetic terms that some people I know will read this and maybe understand? Speaking for me is..not the best avenue for me to get my thoughts across for obvious reasons.

Thanks for making this thread OP!

p.s and to add insult to injury-I'm still treated the way I was in school by many people and the healing process never starts. I keep hoping the older I get the better it'll get. To be starkly honest-I feel more like a failure now than I did as a kid. Adults can be just a cruel. As a whole I think society needs to change how they view a Deaf person. They are creating broken souls. To break the soul of a child only to still break that persons soul after going through such torment it's almost unbearable at times for me to deal with. Have I thought of going home to heaven? More than I'd like to admit. However, I know that there are people out there who have had it worse and that there are people who do care and are worth opening up to. So, I will stick around for the time being. I've often said to people I'm not afraid of death or to die and it's the truth. I actually look forward to it. If it's sooner rather than later that'd be great. I cannot picture 30 more years of being this way-but if that is what "god" has in store for me I'll stick it out the best I can like everyone else here is doing.

alright...this is the end of my opening up. I tend to stick to lighter threads...ha.
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tears in my eyes...... Just tears in my eyes......Many of us have been there and done that.
 
FadedRose said:
I agree. I wish the parents of Deaf children would stop and think of the ramifications of what they are choosing for their child. Some do make it through unscathed but the majority I've met on here haven't.

If there are any parents here reading this do you want your child to be 30 years old and....like this? I don't think so. My parents thought they were doing what was right and followed along what they were told because the "experts" told them it would be the right thing to do. All I can say is listen your child, not the experts. My parents although I told them in more words or less to "get me out of here", didn't listen to me. My father is now 76 years old and we've had talks about what I went through. He regrets making the decisions he did. He has told me that if he could do it over again I would have gone to a deaf school.

Do you want to have this conversation with your grown child when you are old? If you don't...listen to them now.
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Exactly!!!!! I think that we need to get rid of the attitude that there's something innovative about mainstreaming/inclusion of dhh kids. The ONLY thing that is different is that kids with "deafer" losses can aquire speech easier then they could twenty years ago.....they still deal with the exact same stuff that HOH kids have dealt with for decades.
 
shel90 said:
My mom has a deep regret for mainstreaming me. Like your parents, she listened to the so-called experts by thinking it would make me normal if I never learned ASL or go to the Deaf school.
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Mine too. HOH kids and orally successful kids can and do strongly strongly benefit from ASL and Deaf ed. I honestly think many parents of inclusion kids would be AMAZED at what a good deaf school or what a good dhh program can do. ..like no more fighting with clueless mainstream admins, the kids are getting really good teachers and etc........
 
Mainstreaming was ok for me. My mother did look at various programs and schools in NH, MA, VT, and ME (I live in NH), and she didn't like how low so many kids' education levels are. When she was visiting the closest program in Manchester, NH, the program director at that time said that I wouldn't be able to go to college. Fortunately, the current coordinator is Deaf himself and supports a student's goals. I also used to sub there a few years ago, so I was able to see for myself that if my education levels were the same there, I would have been mainstreamed in the same building for a majority of classes, anyway (this program involves placing some kids in regular classrooms in the same building, depending on their abilities). I have also personally observed some kids who came from the other programs/schools while I was working as a camp counselor, and I have to say I am glad I didn't go there.

I was not socially isolated while growing up. I had lots of hearing friends, some of whom did learn a little bit of signing. Many had their own issues (MR, lisp, LD), so we pretty much understood each other. I was involved in a lot of activies (Girl Scouts, my brother's Boy Scouts, bowling league for youth, baseball/softball, soccer, basketball, and so on). My best friend is deaf, and we practically grew up together. My brother is HH. Several other students were HH.

I did have accomodations (interpreters, TOD, etc), and I did go to deaf camp, silent suppers, silent bowling, etc around the state. My mom went to UNH to take up ASL classes when I was young :)

I have looked over a few pages of stories, and I think the best thing we can do now is make solutions. For instance, for those who said mainstreaming wasn't good for them (either from a deaf school to regular school or from regular school to deaf school), a trial period would be a good thing to do. The student can visit the new school for a few weeks so to "dip their toes in the water." My best friend did go to Austine School for the Deaf for a couple weeks, and she didn't like it. Academics were too easy for her, even she got A's on the math worksheets (and she hates math). I suspect this is how it happened for someone who said he/she was far ahead of the other students--academics were dumbed down in that school and the school staff were not willing to try to challenge the students some more.

We need more advocates for DHH students so their parents and school admins know more about rights, accessibility, education, etc. This information about deaf education has to come from the top, not just from the community. The "top" is the state government. They can reach every school, whereas it's harder for the community members to reach out to a school. States have agencies and programs that get in touch with parents with children with disabilities. Here in NH, we have NDHHS, MICE, VR, GSIL, and so on.
 
I have looked over a few pages of stories, and I think the best thing we can do now is make solutions. For instance, for those who said mainstreaming wasn't good for them (either from a deaf school to regular school or from regular school to deaf school), a trial period would be a good thing to do. The student can visit the new school for a few weeks so to "dip their toes in the water." My best friend did go to Austine School for the Deaf for a couple weeks, and she didn't like it. Academics were too easy for her, even she got A's on the math worksheets (and she hates math). I suspect this is how it happened for someone who said he/she was far ahead of the other students--academics were dumbed down in that school and the school staff were not willing to try to challenge the students some more.

We need more advocates for DHH students so their parents and school admins know more about rights, accessibility, education, etc. This information about deaf education has to come from the top, not just from the community.
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I think another really good idea would be to promote dhh magnet schools/regional programs. It does seem like those of us who were mainstreamed, hated it b/c we were the ONLY dhh kid.....I think MANY kids would thrive under a magnet school/regional dhh program sort of set up.
I think too, that although you were mainstreamed, your parents didn't make the mistake of totally assimulating you. You had exposure to other dhh kids, learned ASL....etc. And you're unfortunately missing that just b/c a kid is mainstreamed, it doesn't mean that they are going to automaticly get a great education. There's still special ed and low expectations in the mainstream!
 
deafdyke said:
I think another really good idea would be to promote dhh magnet schools/regional programs. It does seem like those of us who were mainstreamed, hated it b/c we were the ONLY dhh kid.....I think MANY kids would thrive under a magnet school/regional dhh program sort of set up.
I think too, that although you were mainstreamed, your parents didn't make the mistake of totally assimulating you. You had exposure to other dhh kids, learned ASL....etc. And you're unfortunately missing that just b/c a kid is mainstreamed, it doesn't mean that they are going to automaticly get a great education. There's still special ed and low expectations in the mainstream!
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That was what I was going to say, more or less. My mainstreaming experience was nothing like that.

It's good that you got such a good experience Kristy2078. You were fortunate.
 
I've refrained from replying to this for a long time, as I needed to think about this question for myself.

The answer is, you could say it was ruined in some ways, and in some ways, my life experiences were F* MAGNIFIED by opportunities I would not have gotten in a school for the deaf.

The good. I was able to learn to speak very quickly and was catching up to my peers and surpassed most of them when I was reading science fiction novels around 12 or 13. I had only learned to read and write only 5-6 years prior to that. I got involved with music in the 5th grade, and boy, did it take me places! Playing in big places like Carnegie Hall in NYC, in Europe like the Barbican Centre in London, etc. I have a recording on cassette tape or two from those European trips, and a CD from a rock band I played in for over a year. Many awards from UIL competition, which got me into those European trips in the first place. A very big time of my life. These experiences of music, I will always treasure for the rest of my life, and I have reconnected with the people I toured with in Europe through Facebook.

The bad. Like many Americans, I was lied to about the real truth behind the settling of America, the use of the Constitution as a tool of the elites to give themselves total power (though that was checked to some degree by the Anti-Federalists' Bill of Rights). I was being taught how to take a test, not how to think and read between the lines. I had a hard time writing papers because I was just in that stage where I didn't know what the purpose of a paper was supposed to be. A semester of British Lit in college took care of that... And I was lied to about the origin of Money, the gold standard, why we have had it over thousands of years of human civilization, what happened every time we got away from it, and what it took to get back to it. In short, I was being given revisionist history without being provided the tools to think for myself. It was only in the last 8 years that I was finally learning the truth about who runs what, how the world really works (though I don't know the players by name, but I know they are there and the steps I can take to protect myself to a degree), and what may have really happened. Had I known about this/been taught this in the first place in school, I would be very well-to-do by now and be doing things and traveling, maybe even as a musician and be professional at it by now in my late 40s. I have to look at my options in music (which might even include going back for another degree, only in music this time), I'm doing better than ever in a financial sense, though I probably make half of what my peers make today, and though I don't travel internationally I at least get out of state once a year on a camping road trip to see family. Because of the last 8 years, I was no longer drifting without a rudder, with no purpose nor understanding of why I was where I was.

All in all, this is what made my life, and that is why I have such a hard time relating to the Deaf community (please note big "D"). It's just a completely different way of life, of looking at things, at relating to people, and experiencing things. I just chose my path because of the opportunities that were open to me. I'm glad that I have had the "breasts" to do it (since I don't have the balls down there anymore). I will continue to use them for more opportunities in music. I'm learning didgeridoo!
 
deafdrummer said:
I've refrained from replying to this for a long time, as I needed to think about this question for myself.

The answer is, you could say it was ruined in some ways, and in some ways, my life experiences were F* MAGNIFIED by opportunities I would not have gotten in a school for the deaf.

The good. I was able to learn to speak very quickly and was catching up to my peers and surpassed most of them when I was reading science fiction novels around 12 or 13. I had only learned to read and write only 5-6 years prior to that. I got involved with music in the 5th grade, and boy, did it take me places! Playing in big places like Carnegie Hall in NYC, in Europe like the Barbican Centre in London, etc. I have a recording on cassette tape or two from those European trips, and a CD from a rock band I played in for over a year. Many awards from UIL competition, which got me into those European trips in the first place. A very big time of my life. These experiences of music, I will always treasure for the rest of my life, and I have reconnected with the people I toured with in Europe through Facebook.

The bad. Like many Americans, I was lied to about the real truth behind the settling of America, the use of the Constitution as a tool of the elites to give themselves total power (though that was checked to some degree by the Anti-Federalists' Bill of Rights). I was being taught how to take a test, not how to think and read between the lines. I had a hard time writing papers because I was just in that stage where I didn't know what the purpose of a paper was supposed to be. A semester of British Lit in college took care of that... And I was lied to about the origin of Money, the gold standard, why we have had it over thousands of years of human civilization, what happened every time we got away from it, and what it took to get back to it. In short, I was being given revisionist history without being provided the tools to think for myself. It was only in the last 8 years that I was finally learning the truth about who runs what, how the world really works (though I don't know the players by name, but I know they are there and the steps I can take to protect myself to a degree), and what may have really happened. Had I known about this/been taught this in the first place in school, I would be very well-to-do by now and be doing things and traveling, maybe even as a musician and be professional at it by now in my late 40s. I have to look at my options in music (which might even include going back for another degree, only in music this time), I'm doing better than ever in a financial sense, though I probably make half of what my peers make today, and though I don't travel internationally I at least get out of state once a year on a camping road trip to see family. Because of the last 8 years, I was no longer drifting without a rudder, with no purpose nor understanding of why I was where I was.

All in all, this is what made my life, and that is why I have such a hard time relating to the Deaf community (please note big "D"). It's just a completely different way of life, of looking at things, at relating to people, and experiencing things. I just chose my path because of the opportunities that were open to me. I'm glad that I have had the "breasts" to do it (since I don't have the balls down there anymore). I will continue to use them for more opportunities in music. I'm learning didgeridoo!
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Deaf children do travel and get to perform at venues. One is Center Stage.

U never know what kind of different opportunities you would have gotten at a Deaf school. Maybe you dont like Deaf schools because of the typical stereotyping general society has on Deaf schools. We have several deaf students who were able to surpass their hearing counterparts on statewide assessements. Just saying.

Maybe it is YOU that you dont want to connect with the Deaf community but yet you still come to AD to interact with some ADers who are Deaf, right? Doesnt make sense to me. Just an interesting observation.

Oh...I know many Deaf students who go to Deaf schools who speak very well too. So, speaking has nothing to do with whether one is mainstreamed or not.

However, I am happy for you that you were happy being mainstreamed. You were lucky which many of us werent.
 
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