Do you treat teenagers as kid or young adult?

[Oceanbreeze]

Yes I'm with you, Gemtun and CyberRed.


Yes Oceanbreeze,

My parents & grandparents do the similar as your parents. I know what it is that's why I would not do that to my children like what my parents & grandparents did. I look up to them and can't talk anything to them or can't question them anything because I scared that they might take my freedom away or do something bad to make me feel low or punish me, etc. No wonder, why my siblings disown them... go wrong path.... because they are too scare to talk/question them... Thank God, I was at aboarding school and learn a lot of thing there than I learn from my parents/grandparents.

I look at my boys, that they can talk me anything what they feel... They know I'm their mother but I let them feel as I'm their "good listening friend" and need my advice... that they trust me more and learn to go good path.

I don't beleive to make my boys suffer for the wrong what they have done because it's not positive discipline. If I want to correct my boys then do it privately.

Oh yes my Dad admitted his mistakes to me & my siblings. My brother told me that he feel comfortable to communicate with my sons which is total different he did with my nephew & niece when they were my sons's age. They said that my both boys are very good with respect, good listen etc.

You assume that I couldn't talk to my parents. I could when I was young and did. My parents disciplined me, but I was able to go to them with things.

I don't know why your siblings did what they did, but it sounds like they are blaming your parents for their wrong choices in life. That's wrong also.

 

[VamPyroX]

It would depend on how they act. If they act mature, then I'll treat them as young adults. If they act immature, then I'll treat them as kids. They have to earn our respect.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

You assume that I couldn't talk to my parents. I could when I was young and did. My parents disciplined me, but I was able to go to them with things.

I only tell you what I know from my feeling and experiences after being public humiliated by my parents & grandparents. It´s awful a lot what they did to me... until they realized that I am not longer kid and then accept that I´m young adult.

It´s hard to beleive that you can talk open anything to your parents after what they did to you because I know the people whom we share, had through the same as me...

I can see something wrong with your behavior in any threads. I´m very sorry to say this but it´s fact. I accept what you are because you accept yourself what you are.

I don't know why your siblings did what they did, but it sounds like they are blaming your parents for their wrong choices in life. That's wrong also.

Unfortunlately yes, we (siblings & I) blame our parents for that because we know what they did pain WRONG... No wonder why my siblings were rebel against them... Their behavior was irresponsible and immaturity that´s time... (I was not around that´s time because I stay at abroading school for long years than at home that´s time.) I saw how/where my parents come from... until I know what they did not right so I hit them so hard with my firm words - of course it shocks them real bad, that they should not do with us what they wants. After that they NEVER do that again... My siblings & I broke our contact to our family thru many reasons... including negative discplinie, humiliation, etc. to bruise our feeling.... My Dad & I re-nioned again after 10 years no contact in 1999. I forgave him and move on... My siblings do the same to him as well... Yes Dad admitted his mistakes to us. Of course they look at my sons because they are total different than my nephew & niece (from my sister´s 1st relationship). My 3rd nephew who lives with his Dad (my sister´s 2nd relationship) is the same as my both sons. I look at him to chat with my sons, nephew & niece (his half sister & brother) together last May and must say that my sons and 3rd nephew are the same... No wonder his Dad treat him as young adult with respect.

Guess what, my 21 years old nephew hate his mother passion and blame her for what she did to him... due negative discipline... exact same as what our parents did to us... My sister often said that she would not follow our parent´s role... but she did followed our parents´s role... What a sad.

 

[Chrysanthe]

You're right. Always is a strong word. Parents DO make mistakes. However, it's rare. I also think that the parent is going to be right alot more than the child will be.

It comes down to this... The parent shouldn't treat their child like a pal, a friend or an equal, because the child isn't. The child is a child.

PERIOD.

Rare? I am a stepmom but I can see that many parents including myself and my husband make alot of mistakes.

I disagree. I do believe that a mother or a father treat their child as a child with love, bestest friend, and a pal. Of course an equal. The best word can be a greatest advisor. Thats how my mom raised me. We are so close because she always stand by my side and always being there for me. She never look me down and all. She was a mother I could never ask for a replacement.