Disciplining the children

[Reba]

Yes, I´m bible belief but it doesn´t mean that I HAVE to follow what the bible says. Why should I?

Because to "believe" the Bible means to follow what it says.

Belief without action is meaningless.

I am not saying that someone "must" believe the Bible. But if someone does believe what the Bible says is true, then logically that person must follow what it says. Otherwise it is not "belief".

 

[Reba]

Tell me why was the bible created? What for? What purpose?

Because God wanted to communicate with man (all people), and inform man. God doesn't want man to be ignorant.

So I don't follow what Bible says. Just as long as I believe in God and Jesus that's all it matters.

Without the Bible, how would you know about God and Jesus?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Without the Bible, how would you know about God and Jesus?

I think she mean is bible story. Thats how I learn thru bible story about God and Jesus... It got me beleive God and Jesus thru Bible story.

 

[Reba]

I have noticed that many of the postings in this thread describe the posters' childhood experiences with or without spanking. It seems that whatever the poster's experience was strongly influences that person's perception of spanking/discipline, hitting/punishment, beating/abuse.

If a person grew up with a history of family abuse, then it makes sense that the individual would be afraid of using corporal punishment. That is understandable. It makes sense that those persons would be afraid to use spanking because of the possibility of "losing control" or "going overboard" with the actual swatting. They have too many negative memories of abuse. Their emotions just won't let them see any logic in spanking.

If a parent is not comfortable using spanking, and can't reconcile the past with the present reality, then spanking might not be an option for that parent.

 

[Vance]

Without the Bible, how would you know about God and Jesus?

Pfft. Look at Native Americans. Way before 'white' people invaded their lands in America, they never read the Bible and yet they already knew that there is a God (or rather their term, Creator). According to some old Native American tales, they were even aware of Jesus. Heck, before 'white' people invaded their lands, there was no word for 'lie' in their language. They learned how to lie or what it means from *gasp!* white people.

In other words, we certainly don't need the Bible to know about God or Jesus.

It is interesting to know that in Sweden, parents or guardian are not allowed to smack kids, they will be prosecuted.

Believe it or not, many Swedish children are very well-behaved compare to many American children. I worked at several schools as one-to-one specialist in different states (America) and I also worked with Swedish children in Sweden last year. I know what I saw. I think many people missed the biggest point: diet. Like it or not, what kids eat has strong impact on their behaviors. Mothering magazine is very excellent for sources & information about children, discipline and their behaviors included diets (btw, it is nonpartisan unlike certain magazines).

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Believe it or not, many Swedish children are very well-behaved compare to many American children. I worked at several schools as one-to-one specialist in different states (America) and I also worked with Swedish children in Sweden last year. I know what I saw. I think many people missed the biggest point: diet. Like it or not, what kids eat has strong impact on their behaviors. Mothering magazine is very excellent for sources & information about children, discipline and their behaviors included diets (btw, it is nonpartisan unlike certain magazines.

I already said in some threads of last year and also my other few days old thread, too.

Yes, Sweden is first country in the world who ban spankling, etc. and after that, then Europe follow Sweden...

I mention Sweden in my thread...

http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=380548&postcount=43

 

[Cheri]

In other words, we certainly don't need the Bible to know about God or Jesus.

Anyone could learn about God or Jesus by people such as friends, relatives or by going to church.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Anyone could learn about God or Jesus by people such as friends, relatives or by going to church.

Yes, it´s very true.

I love to read bible stories, and also learn from friends, teachers, too etc.

 

[Vance]

I already said in some threads of last year and also my other few days old thread, too.

Yes, Sweden is first country in the world who ban spankling, etc. and after that, then Europe follow Sweden...

Ah okay about your old posts. I haven't read yours yet.

About spanking, sorry but I have to be neutral about it. However I had ... bad experiences with my father's way of discipline (spanking and ... other things) when I was young. Our neighbors has reported on my father few times and my dad has been stopped by policemen two times for 'excessive' force. That's how bad it is. All of us (siblings) are much more happier when my mother has filed for divorce. I must admit that I learned some violent behaviors (such as fighting) from my father due to his 'way of discipline'. One of Rule of Thumbs: violence begets violence. No, it is NOT one-sided story like someone else implied. No one knows my history but myself.

 

[Reba]

Pfft. Look at Native Americans. Way before 'white' people invaded their lands in America, they never read the Bible and yet they already knew that there is a God (or rather their term, Creator).

People can be aware of God as Creator thru observing His universe and nature. But nature doesn't tell people about Jesus Christ the Savior.

 

[Reba]

Anyone could learn about God or Jesus by people such as friends, relatives or by going to church.

...and how did the friends, relatives, and church learn about Jesus? From the Bible!

 

[Reba]

I had ... bad experiences with my father's way of discipline (spanking and ... other things) when I was young. Our neighbors has reported on my father few times and my dad has been stopped by policemen two times for 'excessive' force...

You are describing violent physical abuse. That is not the same as "spanking" (swats on the butt or slaps on the hand) and discipline (training).

 

[AnnyGuy]

What I'm trying to say is... why the bible was created so that way, it makes people to take a control of themselves like no violence, do something productive & positive with your life, don't do the deed before marriage or have kids before marriage, etc. Suppose Bible wasn't created... how would it be like right now? That's what I believe which is why bible was created for. But I know there's so much of violence, crazy going on such as sexual predators, kidnappings, serial killers, etc ... on this earth right now which it is really sad.

 

[AnnyGuy]

I have noticed that many of the postings in this thread describe the posters' childhood experiences with or without spanking. It seems that whatever the poster's experience was strongly influences that person's perception of spanking/discipline, hitting/punishment, beating/abuse.

If a person grew up with a history of family abuse, then it makes sense that the individual would be afraid of using corporal punishment. That is understandable. It makes sense that those persons would be afraid to use spanking because of the possibility of "losing control" or "going overboard" with the actual swatting. They have too many negative memories of abuse. Their emotions just won't let them see any logic in spanking.

If a parent is not comfortable using spanking, and can't reconcile the past with the present reality, then spanking might not be an option for that parent.

Ya know, some people doesn't know how to control/limit on spanking like they go too far by spanking too hard or spank the kids too often. Sometimes people would just go way too far by spanking their kids too much or tend to leave red marks all the time -- that IS abuse. It does not matter if its spanking or not. It really depends how bad it is like if you tend to use spanking often for discipline then it is not a way to go. Its BEST to talk things out first and use spanking as a last resort, IMO. I don't care how old kids are whether they are young or not and think its best to spank since young kids don't understand so I disagree on that one. How would they know what they did was wrong if you just spanked their bum just like that? All you have to do is tell them what you didn't like, what upsets you, explain to them, give them examples or whatever and they WILL understand. If child(ren) repeat same mistake, all you have to do is give them time-outs (for young kids ofc), send them to their bedroom (no tv on, do nothing, lay on bed so they can think about their bad behaviors and don't make same mistake next time), or take some priveleges away, etc. There's lot of ways for appropriate disciplines. You just have to be patient. (welcome to parenthood) Ya know kids are kids, period. You can't expect every child(ren) to be angel all the time and behaves all the time. Please!

 

[Reba]

... How would they know what they did was wrong if you just spanked their bum just like that?

I never said to just spank them without explaination. Of course you explain to them the reason they are being spanked. When that little hand reaches for a hot stove burner, a short quick tap on the back of the hand, and a firm "NO--hot, ouch!" gets immediate attention without anger. Then, a hug and a kiss, saying, "Mommy doesn't want you to burn your hand; don't touch."

All you have to do is tell them what you didn't like, what upsets you, explain to them, give them examples or whatever and they WILL understand.

1. A very young child will not understand.
2. An older child might understand but not care.

If child(ren) repeat same mistake, all you have to do is give them time-outs (for young kids ofc), send them to their bedroom (no tv on, do nothing, lay on bed so they can think about their bad behaviors and don't make same mistake next time)...[/b]

Do you really believe a two-year-old will lie on his/her bed and meditate on the error of his/her ways?

 

[AnnyGuy]

I never said to just spank them without explaination. Of course you explain to them the reason they are being spanked. When that little hand reaches for a hot stove burner, a short quick tap on the back of the hand, and a firm "NO--hot, ouch!" gets immediate attention without anger. Then, a hug and a kiss, saying, "Mommy doesn't want you to burn your hand; don't touch."

That one is fine like to light tap on hand.. no big deal. No harm done.


1. A very young child will not understand.

Like I said, All you have to do is tell them what you didn't like, what upsets you, explain to them, give them examples or whatever. -- AND -- you have to be patient when dealing with young child(ren) and stay calm, use time-outs and use spanking as a last resort. How can young child(ren) learn? EDUCATE THEM.

2. An older child might understand but not care.

Like I said, send them to their bedroom (no tv on, do nothing, lay on bed so they can think about their bad behaviors and don't make same mistake next time), or take some priveleges away.

Do you really believe a two-year-old will lie on his/her bed and meditate on the error of his/her ways?

I'm speaking of older child(ren) not toddlers. Toddlers get time-outs.

Ok, I have question... when young toddlers are in daycares or kids in elementary school, when toddler/kids behaves badly like temper, talk back, or whatever and does teacher spank toddlers/kids? NO? Why not? They talk to child INSTEAD of spanking them. So why can't parents do the same thing, eh? Just a thought.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Ah okay about your old posts. I haven't read yours yet.

wow, you forget that you were there in your thread and also other member's thread, too. We debated there alot with agreement/disagreement last year. That's okay when you can't remember it!

About spanking, sorry but I have to be neutral about it. However I had ... bad experiences with my father's way of discipline (spanking and ... other things) when I was young. Our neighbors has reported on my father few times and my dad has been stopped by policemen two times for 'excessive' force. That's how bad it is. All of us (siblings) are much more happier when my mother has filed for divorce. I must admit that I learned some violent behaviors (such as fighting) from my father due to his 'way of discipline'. One of Rule of Thumbs: violence begets violence. No, it is NOT one-sided story like someone else implied. No one knows my history but myself.

Yes, I know. You are not only one and first who receive the different form of discipline from parents who think it's okay. Yes, the form of discipline could lead the children into volience.
I'm glad that it's over for you & your siblings when your mother filed a divorce but my mother didn't do that. It mean that your mother show how much she care about you & your siblings.

It's disrespectful what someone implied on anyone for not beleive his/her one-sided because it's her/his own story what they had been through in the past. Nobody say to someone: "I want to have 2nd side from other to listen". How do they feel when I say this back to them when they vent/rant themselves about their family situation?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I never said to just spank them without explaination. Of course you explain to them the reason they are being spanked. When that little hand reaches for a hot stove burner, a short quick tap on the back of the hand, and a firm "NO--hot, ouch!" gets immediate attention without anger. Then, a hug and a kiss, saying, "Mommy doesn't want you to burn your hand; don't touch."

I already answered your post how to discipline my children without spanking them because I know that the toddler doesn't understand how dangerous they are... It's parents who show them the example then they will know what it's is. That's what I did with my children.

http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=379721&postcount=31

1. A very young child will not understand.

See above

2. An older child might understand but not care.

Depend on form of parents's form of discipline.

Do you really believe a two-year-old will lie on his/her bed and meditate on the error of his/her ways?

It's normal for the toddler to curious anything... It's parents who show them with patience way.


http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?p=379721&postcount=31

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I never said to just spank them without explaination. Of course you explain to them the reason they are being spanked. When that little hand reaches for a hot stove burner, a short quick tap on the back of the hand, and a firm "NO--hot, ouch!" gets immediate attention without anger. Then, a hug and a kiss, saying, "Mommy doesn't want you to burn your hand; don't touch."

That one is fine like to light tap on hand.. no big deal. No harm done.


1. A very young child will not understand.

Like I said, All you have to do is tell them what you didn't like, what upsets you, explain to them, give them examples or whatever. -- AND -- you have to be patient when dealing with young child(ren) and stay calm, use time-outs and use spanking as a last resort. How can young child(ren) learn? EDUCATE THEM.

2. An older child might understand but not care.

Like I said, send them to their bedroom (no tv on, do nothing, lay on bed so they can think about their bad behaviors and don't make same mistake next time), or take some priveleges away.

Do you really believe a two-year-old will lie on his/her bed and meditate on the error of his/her ways?

I'm speaking of older child(ren) not toddlers. Toddlers get time-outs.

Ok, I have question... when young toddlers are in daycares or kids in elementary school, when toddler/kids behaves badly like temper, talk back, or whatever and does teacher spank toddlers/kids? NO? Why not? They talk to child INSTEAD of spanking them. So why can't parents do the same thing, eh? Just a thought.

Spanking do not solve anything to give the children lesson but turn them into volience/aggressive because they didn't know what kind of respect they show on their parents or anyone.

 

[DeafSCUBA98]

how in the world am i supposed to disciplining my son to go potty training while i told him " you're supposed to poop or pee in toliet not your diapers".. and he goes like this "no! i want to poop in diapers" god.. help me