dealing with newfound deafness.

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wochoo

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Hey all,

just a warning.. this is kinda a longer read/rant

For those of you that don't know, i just signed on to the forums. I'm looking for a place where I can find answers from people similar to me. I'm looking for answers from people that were once hearies, but became deafies for whatever reason.

My story. I am 19... i lived as a perfectly functioning hearie for 18 years of my life. I was a heroin addict for 2 years. In jan 2009, i overdosed and woke up with profound deafness. The doctors at the hospital had never seen anything like this before and i've learned it happens in .5% of all heroin overdoses ever recorded. Everyone that it had happened to got their hearing back... except me.

So I got my hearing aids... and I have pretty profound deafness... i'm just about completely deaf in my right ear and moderately deaf in my left.

This whole situation has really fucked me up so to speak. pardon my french. But everyone that's known me knows it has fucking CHANGED me so bad. I can't help but dwell on the past and how my new life is just a scam. I once could play the game had confidence in the ladies... but my confidence vanished when i lost my ability to hear as well as i used to.

I know this was my own fault... I am reminded of that often.. but i can't help but think about how much life sucks right now, it's to the point where sometimes I wish the docs and nurses hadn't brought me back, because I want my hearing back.

I wanted to know if anyone else has something similar? How do you deal with all of a sudden being deaf... it breaks my heart. The girls i used to chase, as shallow as it is i don't think they'll really go past friends with a deaf guy. I used to be shallow and used to chase similar those to me.... it's just htat being deaf was never in my lifestyle...I've been deaf for 5...or 6 months... it gets me down every single day and its rather depressing.

anyone can help? please do.. i'm desperate for a bone here on any advice... philosophical thoughts, anything.

End rant.

FootNotes: Boy is hearie for 18 years, overdoses on heroin, loses most his hearing. Is now depressed about life in general and doesn't feel as the quality of ht elife he has now could ever compare. Boy is looking for advice or anything from anyone in a similar situation or not.
 
You could start a whole new life speaking in high schools to warn of the dangers of drug use. Also I noticed in your post you said this happened in January 2009. Does this mean it is just a fantasy that has not really happened?
 
the way i always took things....

id rather be deaf than blind, but better deaf than dead. Its definatly a 2nd chance on life in general. And even though this is a life changing event for you, its not pointless as you think. Im deaf in my left ear and even though i retain a good portion of hearing in my right, you'll get your niche and make adjustments as days go by. I know i did. You mentioned you still had one ear thats decent, just try to get the hearing aid that would benefit you the most for that one good ear. Some hearing to me is much better than none at all. Just saying.
 
It must be tough for you to adjust since it just happened last year after 19 years of hearing.

I would say first thing to ACCEPT it right away that you're deaf and learn sign language and bend into deaf world as well stay with your usual life with the hearing world; then you shall be fine yet I'm sure it will take some time to adjust your life with the deafness, definitely.

I knew a few ones who attended Gallaudet Univ... those who had difficult time accepting it and withdrew. I wonder how their lives turn out so far but am sure it ain't good not to accept it right away.

There are few alldeaf members who just became deaf recently, too. You have to search for them to get their support to help you out. At least it shows a sign that you're searching which is good for the starter.

Yes, I agree with Bottesini to speak to others to warn the dangers of heroin.

Wish you well for adjusting and welcome aboard, wochoo.
 
Bots, good eye!

Even if we were in fantasy, I must say that given the circumstances, you can not face your life sober alone. You need to go to NA and if your don't then you are setting yourself up for failure.

One final note - - being deaf is actually a blessing, not a punishment.

That's all I have to say on that.
 
First, I just want to say that there are pros and cons in every situtation. And secondly, what ever there is a problem, find a way to get around it.

There are pros in being deaf... like sleeping thru thunderstorms. When ever a baby cry, I just turn off my hearing aids.

Yes, of course there are cons but there are ways around.... like we can't use telephone but we can use it with teletypewriter along with relay (nowadays they use Visual Phone with relay). We just have to be patient in getting things done.

Yes, we might not hear anything when out on the street (con) but it can be consider a pro if we learn to use our eyes and be very aware of our enviroment.

You might see that losing the ability to pick up some ladies as a con but I see it as a big fat pro because it is forcing you to be less shallow and more mature. You will find a lady who like you for what you are (deafness and all). This lady would be a much better than what you are used to. I hope things will be much better for you as long as you stay clean.

I really can't fathom losing hearing because I never had hearing in the first place. That's why I see my deafness as culture instead of medicalization.
 
Sorry to hear you've lost your hearing. Have you looked into Cochlear implant? It might provide you a bit more benefit than hearing aids. You should be eligible, I think.

First of all, you have to accept and make adjustments but then your family and friends needs to do so, too.

Watch subtitles on TV and DVDs. Start using relay service on the net so you can make calls to anyone, any place in the US.

Go to lipreading classes.

Anyway, hope you'll remain clean and find ways to deal with your grief without going into the deep end.
 
heh... Yeah.

Bottesini- I WISH it was a fantasy (i ment 2008 january). Speaking about the dangers of heroin doesn't really help. There's already enough health classes, DARE programs, and police out to do it. Especially in my situation where .5% of overdoses happen. The ones that Would in the first place decide to do heroin would think "PFFFT....That won't happen to me".

Heroin is already such a taboo drug, i really don't think it needs any introduction to the dangers of it.

Buffalo- Anyway on a new note. I find these "pros" just excuses... just like a blind person saying "Ha, now I can't see ugly people, and poverty in the world".

I don't feel there are any pros at all about being deaf... well except 1 exclusive to my situation.

You cannot fathom losing hearing.. but it's really bad... I cannot truely say which life is better since I have not lived 18 years deaf... I guess i'll note in 18 years which I believe is better but so far... I'd give almost anything to get my hearing back

Newidme- I am "scared straight" so to speak... I have relapsed a couple times.. but I could never have the balls to shoot some dope to the levels of overdose again... I could never get that high again so why bother. Screw NA and AA and all that jazz. AA and the 12 steps have been about religion... at least 8 of the 12 steps are (or a "higher power"). While I do believe spirituality is important to ones health, it is not going to get me clean, I'll do that myself, or die trying.

Miss Detectable- Is it possible to use a cochlear implant in 1 ear and hearing aid in the other? or is that not possible.. because my right ear is basically useless... pretty shitty.

Thanks for the response... I guess I was looking to vent, I know that no one can really help my situation and it doesn't do any good to dwell on such matters.

I got me some Phonak hearing aids... they are very small... most people can't even tell i'm hearing impaired.. till they realize I have to ask them what they said like 5 times.

I'm not even 21 yet... and I used to go to college bars all the time..used to look forward going when I was of legal age to any bars, now I don't want to ... the atmosphere I just can't hear anything and can't have fun anymore. I feel like all the things I used to do to have fun (get fucked up alot) Just doesn't do it for me anymore... I guess that could be a pro... but at the cost of my hearing? I'd almost rather go off the deep end.

If it wasn't for my loved ones I woulda just shot a bunch of dope and offed myself... However, that would be too my grief for my friends and family... Which is the only reason I deal with life as it is now...maybe something good will come out of it... maybe.

My school has some deaf folks in there... but i've never really interacted with them nor do i know sign language (taking a class this fall semester) but are deaf people nice? Im sorry i'm so ignorant...I'm new to the culture bear with me. Like... are deaf people like the same/similar in their likes and dislikes because of the disability? Are there all types of poeple within the deaf community? I feel that it is limited for example: I don't believe there would be alot of deaf people that do drugs... reason why? Its because they cannot get the connections because alot of drug dealers i used to know don't sign or anything. Maybe its just me steryotyping but I just don't think that there's some things that deaf people can actively participate in..

Sorry, if i'm being offensive or anything.. I really am not meaning to be
 
You are not offensive. I assure you that a lot of deaf people are nice. Some are not. But that is the same for hearing people I am sure.

Since you say you already have had small relapses for heroin, I am of the opinion that is the most important issue you should address.

Deaf is natural to me so I don't know how you will adjust. But I promise most of the time I am perfectly happy. I think you can be too if you decide to be.
 
You give us a bit of insight in how some hearing people question in their mind about us.

Think about this. You're deaf now. Are you different in dislikes and likes? It's simple. We are just like everyone except that we can't hear normal like them.

Yes, there are deaf drug addicts. You just haven't met them. There are deaf who hang out with the wrong crowd and end up doing drugs. The percentage might be low because there's only a percentage in the deaf population.

Well, if you're not gonna go through the 12-step program, then buddy, you're being a stubborn person. I am sorry, but I have read articles about it, and it's not easy to accept those programs. About the higher power, I think you're just making an excuse to not get into the program. I really do.

While I do believe spirituality is important to ones health, it is not going to get me clean, I'll do that myself, or die trying.
Click to expand...

This you said is an excuse to not use the program.

I think you might benefit from some counseling at this point. It doesn't mean you're weak, but it might help you deal with your deafness. You are just adjusting to your life to deafness.

At school, you can get help with understanding your class professors. You don't need to know sign language. They have a program called CART which is captioning. You have someone like a court reporter typing into a laptop for you to read what's going on. You can even get a copy later by e-mail.

You can talk to the deaf people by writing to them if you would like. It doesn't mean you're stuck with deaf people. You can have a life with hearing people as well. You questioned about deaf people. Guess what? I don't meet deaf people because I'd have to travel about one hour to meet them for deaf coffee chat event. I don't use sign language to communicate with people because they don't know them. Sometimes random people will try to sign because they took some classes or they are taking ASL.

I believe you can't get a cochlear implant if you get good benefits in one ear. You will have to be evalutated for it. A cochlear implant normally destroy your remaining hearing. I think you should test out hearing aids to find out how you can do with them.

It will benefit you to learn lipreading.
 
Being deaf is not the end of the world. I was born deaf with broadband 100dB loss that wasn't a loss since I didn't have it anyway. Despite that and not being able to speak, I did well in public school and university and got a good job.

Do get used to not hearing as much and learn how to use your eyes to make up for it. You use a hearing aid, so you have more hearing than me. Aids and FM systems never made any speech understandable to me so I haven't used those devices since elementary school.

Don't worry about the thing with hot girls. Deaf people do go on dates and get married. Deaf people are as diverse as hearing people. Most are nice. Just be careful of deaf drama. :lol:

As for possible advantages of deafness, here's an abstract of an article about enhanced mental image generation in deaf people people who use ASL. I don't know if that includes just people who had been deaf all their lives. That reminds me of someone telling my mom that I was the 3rd or 4th deaf person that person knew of who liked to read about stuff like quantum mechanics, which might take super visualization skills to visualize.

Some more interesting studies related to vision, with plenty involving the vision of deaf people. Another one concluded that deaf children had worse visual processing than hearing children, but deaf adults did better than hearing adults when doing attention-dependent stuff.

No wonder I got addicted to polyhedra at university. I even plan on building projections of four dimensional ones and maybe higher dimensional ones. That's getting trippy and is a lot safer than drugs. Find a hobby you like that doesn't involve self-damage. I would never try drugs because I have enough hobbies to keep me busy.

Yeah, I've seen those laptops for getting typed information in lectures. They're called C-Print at RIT.

I'd be glad about not being blind because at least I can drive.
 
Wochoo,
You said you basically have no benefit from HAs in one ear then yes, you might be eligible for CI, but you have to go to an audiologist and ask for her honest opinion and get a referral, if possible.
 
Wo, I like how you say you are going to get your self clean or keep yourself clean. Believe what you want but I haven't read a single thing from you that tells me how you intend to do it.

We all get moody and when we feel oh so low, we do what it takes to get us out of the slump. Listen, are you telling me that you would never "od" like that again which caused your hearing loss? Did you do it on purpose the first time? I don't think so. So what's gonna stop you next time?

You need to find help. I don't care where you get it, but you need it. Heroin is just as bad as nicotine to quit and I've been trying to quit for 13 years!!! Don't dismiss NA, it has worked for millions. You can be an atheist, you can be whatever you want but you DONT have to be a heroin addict.

PM me if you want to talk. I know what you are going thru. If you don't know how to properly help yourself, then don't waste the time of others here. So what if you are deaf? You did that, not God. Don't blame anyone but yourself. The resources are free, even the freaking Police will help you out!
 
If you are upset about not being able to pick up the chicks like you used to, then talk to your local bartender for advice on that one.

I am insulted that you would even come on here and tell us how sad you are that your dick won't ever get sucked in the same way because you can't hear - - wah, wah, wah.
 
Thanks for the replys everyone. its been helpful.

NEWIDME. - Guess what? i couldn't care less what you think... so guess what? stop preaching to the choir. I have said numerous times I am Not attending NA.. what are you my dad?

Uhm.... my dick has been sucked significantly less since I lost hearing.. maybe its a confidence thing... but I got my own personal statistics to live by.

Please, no more about "getting clean", I know what it is, I've been around junkies for years at a time. I KNOW. Okay waste other's time? I didn't know this was a "DARE" forum. I'll gladly leave now that I AM WELL INFORMED.

And for everyone else. Thanks, i'll be sure to ask about CI's when I visit my audiologist next on the 18th. Its my right ear... everything sounds like a "chipmunk"... everything I can hear anyway... its really highpitched and I bascially can't hear anything out of it.

Peace out, NEWIDME has turned this into an anti-drug forum. Once again, I KNOW god didn't do this as I have said before. AND i also have repeatedly said I don't mean to offend anyone.. Why anyone would come to PM you for advise from a pompous asshole like you is beyond me.:dunno
 
Listen, Wo, don't go because of me. My post earlier was from me and not the forum and I would feel awful if you left b/c of me. I understand I should not have come on so strong. I am not aware of your personal situation or the people in your life. I just don't like to see drugs win. I kinda lose all focus.

You came on here asking about newfound deafness. Stay and learn. I forget you are very young. I am sorry I came on so strong. If it makes you feel better, create a new user id and nobody will know about the H.
 
wochoo said:
heh... Yeah.

Bottesini- I WISH it was a fantasy (i ment 2008 january). Speaking about the dangers of heroin doesn't really help. There's already enough health classes, DARE programs, and police out to do it. Especially in my situation where .5% of overdoses happen. The ones that Would in the first place decide to do heroin would think "PFFFT....That won't happen to me".

Heroin is already such a taboo drug, i really don't think it needs any introduction to the dangers of it.

Buffalo- Anyway on a new note. I find these "pros" just excuses... just like a blind person saying "Ha, now I can't see ugly people, and poverty in the world".

I don't feel there are any pros at all about being deaf... well except 1 exclusive to my situation.

You cannot fathom losing hearing.. but it's really bad... I cannot truely say which life is better since I have not lived 18 years deaf... I guess i'll note in 18 years which I believe is better but so far... I'd give almost anything to get my hearing back

Newidme- I am "scared straight" so to speak... I have relapsed a couple times.. but I could never have the balls to shoot some dope to the levels of overdose again... I could never get that high again so why bother. Screw NA and AA and all that jazz. AA and the 12 steps have been about religion... at least 8 of the 12 steps are (or a "higher power"). While I do believe spirituality is important to ones health, it is not going to get me clean, I'll do that myself, or die trying.

Miss Detectable- Is it possible to use a cochlear implant in 1 ear and hearing aid in the other? or is that not possible.. because my right ear is basically useless... pretty shitty.

Thanks for the response... I guess I was looking to vent, I know that no one can really help my situation and it doesn't do any good to dwell on such matters.

I got me some Phonak hearing aids... they are very small... most people can't even tell i'm hearing impaired.. till they realize I have to ask them what they said like 5 times.

I'm not even 21 yet... and I used to go to college bars all the time..used to look forward going when I was of legal age to any bars, now I don't want to ... the atmosphere I just can't hear anything and can't have fun anymore. I feel like all the things I used to do to have fun (get fucked up alot) Just doesn't do it for me anymore... I guess that could be a pro... but at the cost of my hearing? I'd almost rather go off the deep end.

If it wasn't for my loved ones I woulda just shot a bunch of dope and offed myself... However, that would be too my grief for my friends and family... Which is the only reason I deal with life as it is now...maybe something good will come out of it... maybe.

My school has some deaf folks in there... but i've never really interacted with them nor do i know sign language (taking a class this fall semester) but are deaf people nice? Im sorry i'm so ignorant...I'm new to the culture bear with me. Like... are deaf people like the same/similar in their likes and dislikes because of the disability? Are there all types of poeple within the deaf community? I feel that it is limited for example: I don't believe there would be alot of deaf people that do drugs... reason why? Its because they cannot get the connections because alot of drug dealers i used to know don't sign or anything. Maybe its just me steryotyping but I just don't think that there's some things that deaf people can actively participate in..

Sorry, if i'm being offensive or anything.. I really am not meaning to be
Click to expand...

Taking the sign language class in the fall is a great start!

Are deaf people nice? Are hearing people nice? The answer to both questions are the same.

Are deaf people exactly alike? Are hearing people exactly alike? Again the answer to both questions are the same.

I was born deaf..didnt know sign language but wish I did cuz it would have made my life easier. I played sports, got a college softball scholarship, dated guys, went to parties and drank illegally, got my license at 17 years old (I kept putting off taking the test..nothing to do with my deafness), had a job at a fast food restaurant while in high school. I never did drugs cuz I was too chicken about them. I hate smoking.

Fast forward almost 20 years...I have 3 college degrees, own a house, married with 2 beautiful children, have a career, own a SUV. I would say my life doesnt suck as a deaf person.

I have dreams, hopes, fears, and needs just like any hearing people.

So, deaf people are just like hearing people except many of us use sign language instead of spoken language to communicate, use strobe lights for doorbells, alarms, and phones, use pagers to stay in contact, use Video phones or TTYs, some have hearing dogs, wear devices on our ears to help us hear some...maybe a few more things that makes us different from hearing peers.

The rest such as religion, interests, education, goals, desires, and so on are just the same as hearing people.

Yes, there are a lot of deaf people who use drugs..they have connections to drug dealers just like hearing people do. Trust me..I know quite a few deaf people who are habitual drug users. No, I dont like it but like some hearing people who have loved ones doing drugs, I feel helpless on how to help them. maybe I should ask you for advice on how to help those whom I am close to who use drugs. Do I back off or do I interfere? I am ignorant on that issue.

I hope you will find the happiness and peace soon!

No, my post is not intended to be offensive but just to be frank and straightforward.

:welcome: to AD and hope you enjoy it here.
 
Hey! I am not deaf but hoh. But i was hearing 16 years of my life and then poof i woke up one morning ..or rather at night i noticed tinnitus (ringing in the ears) and then i noticed the hearing loss, like you my right is worse than my left but i am not in the profound range but moderate. My loss is progressive and it's gone down 10-15 dB from my first initial audigram. I was very frusterated *like you* when i first found out i was losing my hearing. I thought it was horrible! BUt overtime i accepted it and got my ha and i don't mind as much anymore. I've grown to know and start to understand a whole new culture...and i know it seems like it sucks, cuz trust me I KNOW that from hearing everything to hearing lil things that u use to take for granted, straight SUCKS! If you need someone to talk to, trust me I KNOW what ur going thru, not related to the drugs, but newfound deaf...definitely! Im 19 as well and started losing my hearing at 16/17

I also wear a phonak ha and trust me learning to adapt isn't as hard as u think!u can do it
 
I never hear of Heroin cause hearing loss. That's interesting! It's new to me. Thank you for warning about Heroin. I never try this. You're welcome to AllDeaf to learn about the cultures. You will figure it out more information. It will help you feel better and more confidence about yourself. Are you going to learn sign languages??
 
Could've been worse, try losing your good ear (moderate loss) into almost no hearing left at all, now that's traumatic.
What I did was getting Cochlear implant. Best choice I've ever made. But one cons about it is music sucked for me at least but it sound good for most of people. But hey enough hearing to understand people talking to me is 100 times better than having no f*&%ing clue what anybody's saying even staring right at their mouth, over-enunicating words.
Sure I did got depressed that I can't wear hearing aid anymore cuz it was too painful and causes me very dizzy for some while, about 4 months after I got surgery for cochlear implant. Depression's gone I find myself smiling more and I found 1 great pro about being deaf as stone is you have selective hearing if someone's bitching at you just turn it off they can scream next to my ear I won't be able to hear them lol.

Look into it man, hang in there and don't dwell on past and saying being dead's better than being deaf now that's harsh.
Try quitting drugs cold turkey and smoke cigs.
And for girls, look at authenic (member of this forum) he's deaf and you should seen his ex-gf she was absolutely gorgeous and I'm not being nice. Its all about confidence, you'll find it again sooner or later.
Deaf's not that too bad, better than being in vegetative state nurse wiping drools off your face and changing your diapers.
 
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