dealing with newfound deafness.

Hi Wochoo
I am also a late deafend adult hearing 44 yrs finaly lost the last of my hearing in April 07 and to have loud multi tone tinnitus in both ears. I know this must be a scary thing to someone whos just starting out in life but really I find nothing wrong with being deaf. Like others have mentioned there are cochlear implants and BAHAs available to help regain some kind of hearing back. There are alot of alerting devices availible to as well as TTY/VCO systems for the phones and I also have my Hearing Ear Dog to help me. So don't give up just because you lost your hearing to some mistake you made in life, I lost mine to Meniere's Disease just move on with your life not like you can change the past.So you take care and I hope the best for you Don
 
wochoo, dead money is right... dun give a shit about those internet toughies... just hang in there, jus bcoz u were once a drug addict doesnt mean u dun deverse kindness.
i am newbie to this forum and a newbie to the deafies world too, i dun have any drug addiction but i can relate to u on this n i do noe how u feel with this sudden lost. i was hearing all my life (23 years) and just lost it a yr ago too.

Man wat a difference it is between the hearies/deafies world aye.? and no matter how advance technology is these days, nothing can bring back our hearing 100% like it was b4, so wats lost is lost, dun dwell on it (bloody hard thing to do but please jus try - i am)
wat i reckon u shouldnt do is pity yourself. hearing (our friends/family) ppl tend to feel sorry for us bcoz we were once normal but suddenly became deaf. i still dun get y they do it but it bloody annoys me. we r deaf, not dum so jus treat us normally.
we cant really b compared with those dat are born deaf or HOH, i really admire n respests those ppl especially the ones who lives a carefree life. despite not being to hear they can still mange well with everything else.
rhey wochoo, good luck with everything n hang in there.... somethings will work out for u ok, ut jus another deafie now, its not the end of the world n its not like u will die.depression is more scarier then being deaf, i hope u can get over it n put back da big smile on your face mate
 
I have moderate hearing loss and my hearing got worsen when I was looking at somebody's bike and he revved the shit out of it. Stupid retard and all I want to do right now is kill him before I suicide. I'm 22 and too young to be lifeless without hearing. I would rather die and start a new life. I think my grandparents will outlive me.
 
deafness88 said:
I have moderate hearing loss and my hearing got worsen when I was looking at somebody's bike and he revved the shit out of it. Stupid retard and all I want to do right now is kill him before I suicide. I'm 22 and too young to be lifeless without hearing. I would rather die and start a new life. I think my grandparents will outlive me.
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U would rather die than be deaf?
 
shel90 said:
U would rather die than be deaf?
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Yes, been thinking about it for a long time. I'm losing too much in the hearing world, especially the ladies which is a major killer and my ability to excel in the job. It kills to always say what all the time. Can't wait for the new life.
 
deafness88 said:
Yes, been thinking about it for a long time. I'm losing too much in the hearing world, especially the ladies which is a major killer and my ability to excel in the job. It kills to always say what all the time. Can't wait for the new life.
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Wow..that's a sad way to view deafness. I have been deaf all of my life and I am happily married with 2 kids and own a house. Deafness never stopped me from having those.

What about learning sign language and getting involved with the Deaf community?
 
shel90 said:
Wow..that's a sad way to view deafness. I have been deaf all of my life and I am happily married with 2 kids and own a house. Deafness never stopped me from having those.

What about learning sign language and getting involved with the Deaf community?
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That's the difference. You have been deaf all your life. Are your kids and wife deaf too by the way?

I haven't been deaf all my life otherwise I could live with it. I have moderate hearing lost and it got worsen and I view it as mid life crisis at age 22.

View it this way, what if you were suddenly immobile (broke a leg)? That would definitely change your life complelely compared to having a broken leg all your life.
 
deafness88 said:
Yes, been thinking about it for a long time. I'm losing too much in the hearing world, especially the ladies which is a major killer and my ability to excel in the job. It kills to always say what all the time. Can't wait for the new life.
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Uhmm....there are deaf women too you know. :) Afterall why are us deaf people good in bed? Because we can't hear a 'no' in the dark. :)

shel90 said:
Wow..that's a sad way to view deafness. I have been deaf all of my life and I am happily married with 2 kids and own a house. Deafness never stopped me from having those.

What about learning sign language and getting involved with the Deaf community?
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Good advice. Afterall you will be expanding your community/culture.

deafness88 said:
That's the difference. You have been deaf all your life. Are your kids and wife deaf too by the way?

I haven't been deaf all my life otherwise I could live with it. I have moderate hearing lost and it got worsen and I view it as mid life crisis at age 22.

View it this way, what if you were suddenly immobile (broke a leg)? That would definitely change your life complelely compared to having a broken leg all your life.
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My S.O. is hearing, my former daughter was h.o.h. and I am profoundly deaf with hearing family members that sign.

If people realize that you are deaf/hoh--they would make accomodations for you. If not, they weren't friends to begin with.

But you may also want to give it time as some people are adjusting to one's deafness.
 
deafness88 said:
That's the difference. You have been deaf all your life. Are your kids and wife deaf too by the way?

I haven't been deaf all my life otherwise I could live with it. I have moderate hearing lost and it got worsen and I view it as mid life crisis at age 22.

View it this way, what if you were suddenly immobile (broke a leg)? That would definitely change your life complelely compared to having a broken leg all your life.
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I am a woman...my hubby and kids are all hearing.

I grew up not knowing any sign language and with all hearing peers. It was HELL so I do have some idea of idea what it is like to be around all hearing people with no visual access to communication/language. That's why I learned ASL and got involved with the Deaf community. That way I have a healthy balance of both. My life has been so much better since then. I also have a career.
 
If your employer isnt willing to work with you on your hearing loss then perhaps you need to step back and think - do I really need to be working for these people? If the answer is no, start looking for a company that is willing to work with you.

Ive found that if you are honest and upfront about it, but not whiny and not using it to gain an advantage over other employees then the people who do hire you will work with you on it.

I was born HOH and in 1998 I lost what 'normal' hearing I had. Now I can no longer talk on the phone, and most of my communication is by email or face-to-face conversation so I can lip read. If something is unclear then I ask that it be written down.

You have to learn to adjust or your going to drown in your own misery.

I've not had a problem dating because of my deafness, it's mostly because I am not ready to date yet, plus who's got time for it as a single parent?

Im 24 years old, I drive a nice truck, I live in a nice house, I have a decent job, I'm a part time student, I'm a single parent, and I'm deaf.

So what? No sense in worrying about it, it only stresses you out and worrying accomplishes nothing.
 
deafness88 I understand where you're coming from. I also hoped for a new life and as sad as it is, wished it woulda ended and I wont be deaf.

You know how ti is, with the ladies you have to go with a different approach... i've been testing different shit out... but its not an easy game... its especially hard now... but a challenge none the less. test your skills out for sure.

Sorry I took a long hiatus from alldeaf, I've been busy with work and school...

What you guys said is right, i've accepted that i'm gonna be deaf probably forever, and just livin it out, dealin with the problems, i guess my journey through life is just a little rougher than others.

The major loss of deafness is confidence loss with it. I just feel as Though i can't contribute to conversations people are having as well... eat at restaurants.... and my hearing loss is weird...if i'm eating anything it shard to hear... i guess thats motivation to not eat as much LoL.

Anyway, im surprised to see this thread is still around and thankful for all the replys.

Digital sounds are sounding really distorted to me... such as telephones and stuff... is there any deaf programs that enhance the sounds/ volume on a cell phone for deafies? anyone got any recommendations?
 
wochoo said:
deafness88 I understand where you're coming from. I also hoped for a new life and as sad as it is, wished it woulda ended and I wont be deaf.

You know how ti is, with the ladies you have to go with a different approach... i've been testing different shit out... but its not an easy game... its especially hard now... but a challenge none the less. test your skills out for sure.

Sorry I took a long hiatus from alldeaf, I've been busy with work and school...

What you guys said is right, i've accepted that i'm gonna be deaf probably forever, and just livin it out, dealin with the problems, i guess my journey through life is just a little rougher than others.

The major loss of deafness is confidence loss with it. I just feel as Though i can't contribute to conversations people are having as well... eat at restaurants.... and my hearing loss is weird...if i'm eating anything it shard to hear... i guess thats motivation to not eat as much LoL.

Anyway, im surprised to see this thread is still around and thankful for all the replys.

Digital sounds are sounding really distorted to me... such as telephones and stuff... is there any deaf programs that enhance the sounds/ volume on a cell phone for deafies? anyone got any recommendations?
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It seems like you are feeling lots better and making good adjustment.

Bad news. I don't think you will have much luck hearing on a telephone. Convince all your family and friends to text you. That is how everyone talks to me, and it works great. Better than in person, because I understand the written word well.
 
The major loss of deafness is confidence loss with it. I just feel as Though i can't contribute to conversations people are having as well... eat at restaurants.... and my hearing loss is weird...if i'm eating anything it shard to hear... i guess thats motivation to not eat as much LoL.

Hey, keep your chin up. Just be patient and let your confidence find a way to "rechannel" and focus. Remember, greatness will not attack you....U have to go become "greatness" with desire, hard-work, and tenacity.
 
So glad you are dealing with the deafness alot better. I need to go for another audiogram soon..think my hearing went down a bit. But no biggie that's why I wear ha's for lol.

I've never viewed me being hard of hearing as a reason to want to not be alive anymore. That's a small thing to go. Think of ppl who are parapalegic and can no longer move..that's more rough i think. I still try my best at everything and yes i do have challenges since i can't hear sometimes but i'm glad to have the deaf community and proud to call myself deaf/hoh i am trying to get involved in the ottawa deaf community but it seems they are all old? lol im only 19 and i reallyyyy want to learn ASL!hopefully soon:)
 
wochoo - I'm glad your attitude has started to change, and that's really going to make a difference in the long run.

You said that digital sounds are distorted? Are you currently wearing hearing aids? If so, you may need to go have them readjusted, keep having them readjusted until you feel comfortable with what your'e hearing.

If not, then perhaps your ears might just need to be cleaned and it wouldnt hurt to clean your aid out as well while we're on the subject.

As for phone use - I can no longer communicate over the phone and I have made changes. For instance from home - I am using IP relay to make calls over the phone. It is free and you do it over the internet - although some companies may require you to open an account with them so that you will have an ID within their database should a problem arise.

Also, let your friends and family know that you will be calling them via IP relay, you just need to tell them which company or companies you will be using the most so that they know to accept the call and not refuse it thinking it is a telemarketer.

Also - get in on the texting craze, get a mobile phone with a full QWERTY keypad (the LG Scoop is a smart start, doesnt cost a lot and you still get the benefits of QWERTY messaging) and try to get unlimited texting in your plan. Some companies offer plans tailored specifically to the deaf and hard of hearing, so ask about it at your mobile phone retailer when you go.

There are other changes you may or may not need to make depending on the severity of your loss.

Like me, I cannot hear someone knocking on the front door, so when, I am home alone, I lock all the doors, then leave a note on the front door for all visitors to come to the back door where I can see them. Although if you live in an apartment, this isn't possible, but you can leave a note on the door to have them slip a note under the door (if you can see it), or possibly ask your landlord to have the lights set up so that they flicker when the doorbell rings.
 
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