I really wish I could get up the nerve to talk to her about this. I love her...I do love my Dani. I'm just very confused as to whether this is a girlcrush or something a little more legitmate. It's also hard b/c I have not seen her all too much this semester. (she's got a KILLER work schdule, which means that I usually never see her unless she picks me up when I walk back to my apartment) I do remember last year we were incredibly close...always hanging out with each other and I have noticed that when I do see her, her hugs seem to linger. ...Maybe next time I see her I can manufacture a really bad day and be all upset and see if something happens!
Confused as hell....need advice
- Thread starter deafdyke
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Holy shit......I was IMing with Dani tonight and we were talking about London (she's going there for a trip) and I mentioned that when I went (back in '98) my group ran into the London Gay Pride Parade. So out of the blue Dani asks me if I had gay pride! I asked her why she wanted to know....she seemed evaisve...I didn't answer her directly...just said that a lot of my buddies and some family members are gay. What does everyone think of that little out of the blue remark? I'm still very confused and scared...I love her....but don't want to scare her off.
deafdyke said:Holy shit......I was IMing with Dani tonight and we were talking about London (she's going there for a trip) and I mentioned that when I went (back in '98) my group ran into the London Gay Pride Parade. So out of the blue Dani asks me if I had gay pride! I asked her why she wanted to know....she seemed evaisve...I didn't answer her directly...just said that a lot of my buddies and some family members are gay. What does everyone think of that little out of the blue remark? I'm still very confused and scared...I love her....but don't want to scare her off.
thats pretty forward of Dani and dont let that scare u deafdyke gurl! tell her how u feel abt her -- now that shes asked that question abt gay pride, i would imagine she would be a bit open to listening to u on how u feel and etc -- give it a try!
*shoves Deafdyke to Dani*
xdeath12
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Dear confused-
I understand how you feel, I had a friend who whom used to love a person of the same sex. And if Dani is defintely straight, its okay if you have some attractions to her. If you are brave enough, you could find a time to tell her hte truth or you can also try being bi-curious or just keep finding out. just follow your heart and just remember, no one can change who you are or what you feel. hope my advice to you works. t'care . <#
I understand how you feel, I had a friend who whom used to love a person of the same sex. And if Dani is defintely straight, its okay if you have some attractions to her. If you are brave enough, you could find a time to tell her hte truth or you can also try being bi-curious or just keep finding out. just follow your heart and just remember, no one can change who you are or what you feel. hope my advice to you works. t'care . <#
Sailor Aurora
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I know how you feel.... I used to have a very strong crush on a female teacher of mine who tutored me at my house... I was totally conviced that I was in love with her, and maybe it was even real love....I'm still not sure even after all those years.
She was very beautiful in her own way, even if she was kind of very tomboyish... in fact she was mistakened for a male sometimes (which I found hiralious, as seeing I always knew that she was a female)... and she had a killer sense of humor, which I liked.
but then I found out that she was to be enaged to some guy, which just about killed and crushed me, espeically as I was about to reveal to her that I liked her in that way... just to see where it would had gone.
oh well, at least on the bright side, your situation is better than mine was... at least it's a best friend and not some teacher.... and who knows, maybe she's at least bi-curious? it sounds like she might be, from your descriptions of her.... so maybe you have a chance with her, even if there's a chance that she might be totally straight after all.
I go with the idea of taking her to a gay/lebsian bar "Just for kicks" to see what goes down just for fun... see how she reacts.
She was very beautiful in her own way, even if she was kind of very tomboyish... in fact she was mistakened for a male sometimes (which I found hiralious, as seeing I always knew that she was a female)... and she had a killer sense of humor, which I liked.
but then I found out that she was to be enaged to some guy, which just about killed and crushed me, espeically as I was about to reveal to her that I liked her in that way... just to see where it would had gone.
oh well, at least on the bright side, your situation is better than mine was... at least it's a best friend and not some teacher.... and who knows, maybe she's at least bi-curious? it sounds like she might be, from your descriptions of her.... so maybe you have a chance with her, even if there's a chance that she might be totally straight after all.
I go with the idea of taking her to a gay/lebsian bar "Just for kicks" to see what goes down just for fun... see how she reacts.
racheleggert
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Take her to GLBT bar, and have some drinks, and ask some questions, not stupid ones, just honest and good ones, and ask how do she feel for men or women like "have you always liked women more than friendship?" or "Do you want to try something really new?" or something like that. Just try to think of questions that doesn't upset or offend her.
So I've been at school for almost a month, but haven't seen my Dani yet
I've IM'd her, but apparently one of the girls in her on-campus apartment is being stalked, so everyone has to be very very careful, and plus the girls are WICKED busy with things....damnn...I want my Dani...i want her!
I've IM'd her, but apparently one of the girls in her on-campus apartment is being stalked, so everyone has to be very very careful, and plus the girls are WICKED busy with things....damnn...I want my Dani...i want her!
I was over in my gang's on-campus apartment, watching the Red Sox game with my girlz. Dani was there (and I got to hug her a few times!!!!) Anyway, for some reason we started playing "marry, fuck, kill" and another one of my friends goes " Hey Deafdyke, if you had a choice which one of us in the apartment would you do?" (all girls crowd) Before I had a chance to bullshit, she goes "Let me guess....You'd do DANI!" My face must have turned BRIGHT RED!!!!!!!!!! Then again, I have an odd bunch of friends...and I love them all, and I think it's quite obvious that Dani is my bestest friend.
Maybe...maybe not. I mean maybe my other friend was just being silly. After all, Dani IS my best friend in the entire world, even if I didn't have a thing for her! Dani didn't even really respond, not even in an "eww....kissing a girl" way I was laughing too hard to really notice her reaction....but I don't think she really had a reaction that I could "read"
deafdyke said:
well then in that case
*gently pushes u over to Dani* GO talk to her grrl -- dont keep it bottled up -- ur friend has put it out in the open with Dani there at the time and has declared her knowledge of YOUR crush on Dani -- so whats stopping u now qq *waving hand* shoo shoo GO! *continues to push u gently over to Dani*
keep us posted
My best friend here, was asking me that. He knows all about my crush on Dani, and I talk to him a lot about Dani. Thank GOD I have that outlet. I also have a new person who I'm kinda friendly with. She is in the GSA here (as am I) and she is at least bi. I'm gonna see if I can't talk to her about my dilemmia. I also might be able to talk to an RD here who is a lesbian, and who I am somewhat friendly with.
I guess what's stopping me, is that I am TERRIFIED that Dani doesn't feel the same way about me. I mean we still live in a VERY homophobic society. If Dani was a guy or if I was a guy, I would tell her that I loved her and was sexually attracted to her. But this is a same sex thing!!!!! I also don't want to lose her friendship, which is something that I HIGHLY value! I'm so scared and confused!
deafdyke said:
*sigh* grrl u cant let that fear keep u from meeting women and especially finding out what Dani might be thinking -- what if shes been dropping hints all along (if she has) and u been ignoring that qq she would eventually think u dont like her enuf or something -- TALK to Dani -- take the chances -- mebbe ur best friend can pick up what Dani might be feeling if he spoke to Dani without u around qq would that at least help a bit qq *sigh* really grrl u need to try and approach Dani and talk to her abt how u feel and why and blah blah -- from what i understand from ur posts, i dont think she would get all freaky with u but instead would prolly be flattered on ur crush on her and she would either let it lead somewhere OR gently put a stop to that cuz shes all for men only and tell u that u 2 would still remain great friends
*instead of a gentle push -- im gonna SHOVE u!*
DO talk to her! 
Well I do remmy one time when we were IMing, she said something like " You're missed more then you will ever know"
I know she knows I love her. I just wish I could get up the courage to tell her verbally. I'm going to wait and see.....maybe it would be better if I take the wait and see approach....maybe one of these nights we'll be alone together and something might happen!
I just don't want to take the risk that I could lose her friendship. This is kinda a conservative college....damn if we were at Smith or Mt. Holoyoke or even UMass!
deafdyke -- well the HINTS are right there in front of u!!!!!!!! SEIZE the chance!!!!!! You think so? You honestly think so? I'm just extremely confused. I mean I have thought that maybe she does love me that way,(I know she loves me dearly as a friend.) but am I reading something that's not really there? I was talking to my friend Liz, and she said that she doesn't think Dani is bi.
(Liz knows Dani somewhat through me and b/c they were in the same section a couple of years ago) I wish I knew for sure!!!!! I'm really going to take a "wait and see" approach. That way, things will take a nautral course, and if it's meant to be, it will happen.deafdyke said:You think so? You honestly think so? I'm just extremely confused. I mean I have thought that maybe she does love me that way,(I know she loves me dearly as a friend.) but am I reading something that's not really there? I was talking to my friend Liz, and she said that she doesn't think Dani is bi.
YES i do HONESTLY think so!!!!!! deafdyke grrl -- if u take the "wait n see" approach -- u may never have the opportunity to find out -- what if she ends up quitting college or transferring or whatever that may affect a college student *sigh* since it seems u are dead set on continuing ur "wait n see" approach -- i dont know how much longer u can stand this cuz i sure as hell would NOT! i would go to the woman and ask if we can talk and all that perhaps taking her out for coffee at a coffee shop and chat chat then get the converstation steered in the direction of relationship and how we both feel and once i find out from her im happy to know the true answer regardless if it turns out shes very straight or is family
I still haven't gotten the nerve to talk to Dani but did find out some news. Dani's got a boyfriend...I just stopped by the apartments and Hendry (one of my friends) was like " Oh Dani's out for the night with her boyfriend Pat"
I'm not upset or anything....I think I knew deep down inside that Dani was straight....and I'm still trying to figure out if I'm attracted to her THAT way or it's just the closeness that even a lot of straight girls feel in residental situtions.
I'm not upset or anything....I think I knew deep down inside that Dani was straight....and I'm still trying to figure out if I'm attracted to her THAT way or it's just the closeness that even a lot of straight girls feel in residental situtions.