Communication issues with hearing a spouse

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KweenSasha

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Are there any deaf/HOH ppl here who are married to or in a long term relationship with a hearing person? How does your situation affect your relationship? Do u get frustrated when having communication problems? How do you deal with it?
 
For me it got worst over the years.My husband made it all about what was best for him and the way he wanted things to go.He would say things like "I can't wait till you get you're new aids so it would be easy for me" or " I can't stand CC" and "You're hearing lost is not my problem" and now we are getting a divorce.
 
He's horrible. I know men can be really selfish and abusive. I hope he didn't cause any self esteem problems. Think of your divorce as a passage to freedom and you can do much better than a selfish bastard like him.
 
Not with my hearing man. I am deaf myself. He loves me so much enough to explain e v e r y t h i n g to me what he talks about or what friends around him were talking about. He don't leave me out.

You know what I thought is cute ? When he and I hop on a bus, he would take out a fingerspelling card from his packback and try to practice it while talking to me with it. :lol:

Of course, we are very much in love as still. I even showed him this thread and asked him what he thinks of that ....

Know what he says ? He said " The men are idiot. Didn't with none ... hear or hearings ". Hearing men does have problem communicating with other hearing men and women ... no difference. So much the same with deafies to deafies as well. It doesn't matter, if it is in a relationship or mutual friendship.

I think it is really ashame for some hearing men actin' like that when they have nooo patience or willin' to try to accept the way it is. Some of them don't want to TRY and UNDERSTAND. I know some deafies do have some frustrations about communication issue with hearing spouses, but they both need to sit down and learn to work things together by explaining things to each other patiently.

My man won't let me go as ever and, even thou I sometimes wander off in a Mall.... know what he did ? He would TEXT me and ask me where I was at. :giggle: Aww, he is very considerate person with a sweet and gentle heart!

Some hearing men are not that thoughtful person.... they just don't care and want to get out of a relationship with a deaf spouse. Too easy way out for them.
 
Maria said:
Not with my hearing man. I am deaf myself. He loves me so much enough to explain e v e r y t h i n g to me what he talks about or what friends around him were talking about. He don't leave me out.
You know what I thought is cute ? When he and I hop on a bus, he would take out a fingerspelling card from his packback and try to practice it while talking to me with it. :lol:

Of course, we are very much in love as still. I even showed him this thread and asked him what he thinks of that ....

Know what he says ? He said " The men are idiot. Didn't with none ... hear or hearings ". Hearing men does have problem communicating with other hearing men and women ... no difference. So much the same with deafies to deafies as well. It doesn't matter, if it is in a relationship or mutual friendship.

I think it is really ashame for some hearing men actin' like that when they have nooo patience or willin' to try to accept the way it is. Some of them don't want to TRY and UNDERSTAND. I know some deafies do have some frustrations about communication issue with hearing spouses, but they both need to sit down and learn to work things together by explaining things to each other patiently.
My man won't let me go as ever and, even thou I sometimes wander off in a Mall.... know what he did ? He would TEXT me and ask me where I was at. :giggle: Aww, he is very considerate person with a sweet and gentle heart!

Some hearing men are not that thoughtful person.... they just don't care and want to get out of a relationship with a deaf spouse. Too easy way out for them.
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Maria you are a very lucky woman! You husband seem to be an amazing person to be considerate, giving u soo much attention and love.
I wish my hubby can be more considerate as he is (I'm jealous, lol).
My husband is a great guy. He may not be that considerate and we have communication issues at times.
I hate when he decides if something is important enough to tell me or not...if i didnt catch on or doesn't know wat is going on. When I ask him he will be like, "It was nothing"....:mad2:
 
Maria said:
Not with my hearing man. I am deaf myself. He loves me so much enough to explain e v e r y t h i n g to me what he talks about or what friends around him were talking about. He don't leave me out.
Click to expand...

Ditto, My husband is the same, He takes time to explain everything, he never leaves me out. He's very patient man and I love him to pieces.
 
Pepsi said:
For me it got worst over the years.My husband made it all about what was best for him and the way he wanted things to go.He would say things like "I can't wait till you get you're new aids so it would be easy for me" or " I can't stand CC" and "You're hearing lost is not my problem" and now we are getting a divorce.
Click to expand...

He is a selfish man.

You deserve better Pepsi! Maybe you meet a man that likes Coca-Cola?! :giggle: (j/k)

I wish you well in your divorce and as Ivanna Trump said in the movie, "First Wives Club": Don't get mad, get everything! :lol:
 
aww

varies with people some cant some can :)

my man is hearing I have bilaterial He support me for getting one.. He never pressure me one he has asked me "Why? your natural" I said "cos Im doing this for myself not for others" he loves me for who I am.. I love him for who he is. and we both respect.. Mainly we do have communications in our relationship.. sometime its hard when kids bugged in to interp. I tell them don't LOL yes My daughter STILL Try to control me I told her dont! smile

anyhow my ex bf was hearing and it was awful relationship.. now Im with my man.. It is worth that I married him.. even tho we have had up and downs :) hes more of "old fashions" im more of "oldie moderns fashions" still trying to keep up with presents moderns LOL

:)
 
I was married to a hearing guy for seven years (dated him about 2 or 3 years before then). At first he was learning how to sign and learning about deaf culture (he was an interpreter major at the college we both were attending). After we got married, he changed...he stopped trying to learn how to sign and using it. Communication became difficult. He also was caught on several occasions talking about me in my presence, knowing I could not hear him. When I divorced him, I vowed I would never date another guy again...but if I for some reason did, he MUST be deaf.

However, I'm beginning to realize that not all hearing men are like him. He was a jerk..and it doesn't matter if he was hearing or deaf...jerks come in all sizes and shapes.
 
Byrdie714 said:
He is a selfish man.

You deserve better Pepsi! Maybe you meet a man that likes Coca-Cola?! :giggle: (j/k)

I wish you well in your divorce and as Ivanna Trump said in the movie, "First Wives Club": Don't get mad, get everything! :lol:
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Thanks Byrdie, your post made my day. :D
 
KweenSasha said:
He's horrible. I know men can be really selfish and abusive. I hope he didn't cause any self esteem problems. Think of your divorce as a passage to freedom and you can do much better than a selfish bastard like him.
Click to expand...

Thanks
 
KweenSasha said:
Maria you are a very lucky woman! You husband seem to be an amazing person to be considerate, giving u soo much attention and love.
I wish my hubby can be more considerate as he is (I'm jealous, lol).
My husband is a great guy. He may not be that considerate and we have communication issues at times.
I hate when he decides if something is important enough to tell me or not...if i didnt catch on or doesn't know wat is going on. When I ask him he will be like, "It was nothing"....:mad2:
Click to expand...

:ty:
It would make me :mad2: too, if he says " It was nothing " - it's all B.S. IF, my hearing man says " It was nothing " to me, I would do the same to him back and see how he feels. IF, he don't care, then I will leave him for good. I am not going to let it to waste my time. :)
 
~*Kaelei*~ said:
Ditto, My husband is the same, He takes time to explain everything, he never leaves me out. He's very patient man and I love him to pieces.
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Aw, how sweet! I am glad both of you are still in love. That's really good.
 
Maria said:
:ty:
It would make me :mad2: too, if he says " It was nothing " - it's all B.S. IF, my hearing man says " It was nothing " to me, I would do the same to him back and see how he feels. IF, he don't care, then I will leave him for good. I am not going to let it to waste my time. :)
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Did u get married recently?

My husband is hearing and we have been together for 4 years. He signs to me. If he didnt or refused to sign with me, then I would have seen him to the door a long time ago. I need ASL in my life, including in my home. So, because he respects my deaf needs, we dont have communication issues.
 
shel90 said:
Did u get married recently?

My husband is hearing and we have been together for 4 years. He signs to me. If he didnt or refused to sign with me, then I would have seen him to the door a long time ago. I need ASL in my life, including in my home. So, because he respects my deaf needs, we dont have communication issues.
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No, not yet.... but, we have talked about it for sometime. And, yes we will plan to marry. We haven't set a date yet. :)

Oh, yes ASL is a must for me, too. I can't live without it. Without it, I can't see myself in him.
 
Sounds like ASL is a big thing here. I'm glad I learned ASL when I met my late wife in college. With her and our daughter, I've always used ASL, never verbal (not even mouth movements as she forbade that). Before she passed away, the three of us had a great relationship.

To answer your question, the frustration was very early in our relationship when I was learning sign. I picked up quickly and things went smoothly after that.
 
My husband is hearing. He is the best! He treats me like a queen. He never even batted an eye when he first learned I was hoh. We have three daughters (all are hearing) and he will help me in anyway he can. He makes all the phone appointements for me, he made sure we have cell phones with unlimited text messaging. He goes with me to all my audi appointments so he can learn about my hearing aids. I can't imagine my life without him.
I hope you find a man who treats you wonderfully because you deserve it!
 
bebito831 said:
My husband is hearing. He is the best! He treats me like a queen. He never even batted an eye when he first learned I was hoh. We have three daughters (all are hearing) and he will help me in anyway he can. He makes all the phone appointements for me, he made sure we have cell phones with unlimited text messaging. He goes with me to all my audi appointments so he can learn about my hearing aids. I can't imagine my life without him.
I hope you find a man who treats you wonderfully because you deserve it!
Click to expand...

Same here. My husband always go with me for go doctor appointments. I asked my husband to call pharmacy to refill my medicines. He want me to ask him do anything for me what I need. He is such support me. I do support him too. He is not good at remind on date. I helping him to remind the date on schedule. We are great marriage. I am deaf and usher syndrome. He accepted who I am. I accepted He is hearing and had a stutter problem. Communicate is very important.
 
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