CI story by Frances Parsons

PuyoPiyo said:
So parents expect their children to work so hard, getting through the surgery, forced to learning the oral through the CI which are not easy as hearing person, etc etc etc.

It is very true that it is only easy for parents to go out of it, Deaf258.
Click to expand...

*nodding agreement*
 
neecy said:
After all, wasn't Miss Deaf Texas killed by a train while she walked along the tracks because she couldn't hear it blowing its whistle at her to try to get her off the tracks?
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Don´t use deafness as an excuse. What´s wrong with her eyes? It´s just her senseless because she consider cell phone to forget her attention carefully. I use my eyes to watch the traffic and also drive the car as well to worry about my safety than worry about phone cell..

I agree everything what Angel and others says the difference between deafness and hearing... I would suggest you go to google to check the statistic before you made judgement.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
Don´t use deafness as an excuse. What´s wrong with her eyes? It´s just her senseless because she consider cell phone to forget her attention carefully. I use my eyes to watch the traffic and also drive the car as well to worry about my safety than worry about phone cell.................
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She would have heared the whisle had she been able to hear. She would have been alive had she heared.

The example is not to indicate that deaf people are not being safe. Why would you suggest that?? I think you know this, but your post suggests otherwise.
 
Bear said:
Well I am a CIer and a successful implantee at that. My last hearing evaluation shows that I am now hearing at the 30DB range.

However, do I believe in implanting children NO! I believe the implant is a highly personal and agonizing choice to make. I did not just one day wake up and say hey I cant hear anymore, Im going to get a CI. It took me 9 months to even start thinking of a CI, then once I decided to see if I can qualify for an implant, it took me another 3 months just to get to the point where I decided the potential outwieghed the risks.

Now, I know I am gonna get bashed for this statement. BUT, I still wonder many many times, how many of these parents are implanting children so that the child can fit into THEIR world, instead of the parents fitting into the child's world.

I still believe, even after my own implant that it should be the child's choice to make. I still believe that a child should be allowed to grow and form its own identity. The child was born deaf, then oh my god what can we do? Get answers, ask questions, oh lets implant. I know its not that easy of a decision but when your implanting these children IT IS IN MY OPINION you took away that childs right to choose who he/she wants to be.

OFC a child is gonna love the implant, when they were too young to remember what it was like being deaf. They have no clue that this wasnt who or what they were in the beginning. Sure a child may have no hearing at night, if they take the processor off. But really if all a child knows is wow I can hear before they are even old enough to know they couldnt? Then what choice did they have but to like the CI?

A child SHOULD be allowed to chose what it wants to be. Deaf OR CI *psuedo hearing*.

I know many of you will disagree with this. And hey thats fine too, we are all allowed to have an opinion.

Am I saying all of you are like this? NO, Im not. Im saying oh I am sure there are some parents doing this. And you may argue against that. But I have run across many parents in my lifetime that dont give a rats ass about their children only themselves. So yeah, I am sure there are a FEW parents out there who is *changing* that child to fit them.

Most of you are implanting your children trying to do what you think is best. Should you be brought down for that? I dont think so. All I ask is for you to think hard about what your real reasons are for implanting that child.

Many of you think that you cannot be successful unless you can hear. That is crap! I am now and always was a success as a person, and as a friend, and in the work place. I have achieved much of what I was told I could not as a deaf person. You do not need to speak or hear to be a success as a person or in the workplace. Sure, its a little harder, but teach that child not to take NO for an answer, that child will know success.

These children are being taught that they need to hear to survive in this world. Not by words, but by actions. In the future your children may come here and share their experiences, or they may come here and be disgusted at the fact that they were made into a *psuedo hearing* child.

Let's face it. I am an implantee. Are we now hearing? Hell NO! I know true hearing and a CI is not that. It allows you to hear well, but certainly nothing even close to what a hearing person hears. Which is why I say *psuedo hearing*.

There can be many studies and articles showing the pros and cons to a CI and to not implant. But honestly are we gonna change either side by posting on a message board? I think not! Pro-Ciers are always gonna be just that pro-ci. Anti-CI is always gonna be just that Anti-Ci.

You can argue the points all you want. You can try to keep shoving your views down each others throats. But really isnt it getting tiring to do this by now? This is not educating. This is saying IM right your wrong on both sides of the fence. IF any one wants to educate. The best way to do this is to show how a CI has helped you personally. Not from some article about some unknown school or person. But from within. And the same goes for a d/Deaf person. If you want to educate about why an implant in children is wrong in your opinion. The best thing you could do is write from within and show us your experiences growing up as a deaf child.

Yes, I have stated my opinions here as well. I did this for a reason though. I want to show that there are some CIers out there who doesnt feel the same as the majority. I wanted to show that a successful implantee, can be seperate from the majority opinion. And lastly, I wanted to show that there was a CIer who doesnt feel the need to be a what I like to call CI radical.


Thank you,
Bear
Click to expand...

You're right. What you just said and listed, that was my original belief and feeling until some pro-CIers attacked me in person for that. Then, I became anti-CIer because of their attitudes in general. It's refreshing you seem not to carry that "attitude", so I thank you for that!

Thanks for a great post!
 
Bear said:
Well I am a CIer and a successful implantee at that. My last hearing evaluation shows that I am now hearing at the 30DB range.

However, do I believe in implanting children NO! I believe the implant is a highly personal and agonizing choice to make. I did not just one day wake up and say hey I cant hear anymore, Im going to get a CI. It took me 9 months to even start thinking of a CI, then once I decided to see if I can qualify for an implant, it took me another 3 months just to get to the point where I decided the potential outwieghed the risks.

Now, I know I am gonna get bashed for this statement. BUT, I still wonder many many times, how many of these parents are implanting children so that the child can fit into THEIR world, instead of the parents fitting into the child's world.

I still believe, even after my own implant that it should be the child's choice to make. I still believe that a child should be allowed to grow and form its own identity. The child was born deaf, then oh my god what can we do? Get answers, ask questions, oh lets implant. I know its not that easy of a decision but when your implanting these children IT IS IN MY OPINION you took away that childs right to choose who he/she wants to be.

OFC a child is gonna love the implant, when they were too young to remember what it was like being deaf. They have no clue that this wasnt who or what they were in the beginning. Sure a child may have no hearing at night, if they take the processor off. But really if all a child knows is wow I can hear before they are even old enough to know they couldnt? Then what choice did they have but to like the CI?

A child SHOULD be allowed to chose what it wants to be. Deaf OR CI *psuedo hearing*.

I know many of you will disagree with this. And hey thats fine too, we are all allowed to have an opinion.

Am I saying all of you are like this? NO, Im not. Im saying oh I am sure there are some parents doing this. And you may argue against that. But I have run across many parents in my lifetime that dont give a rats ass about their children only themselves. So yeah, I am sure there are a FEW parents out there who is *changing* that child to fit them.

Most of you are implanting your children trying to do what you think is best. Should you be brought down for that? I dont think so. All I ask is for you to think hard about what your real reasons are for implanting that child.

Many of you think that you cannot be successful unless you can hear. That is crap! I am now and always was a success as a person, and as a friend, and in the work place. I have achieved much of what I was told I could not as a deaf person. You do not need to speak or hear to be a success as a person or in the workplace. Sure, its a little harder, but teach that child not to take NO for an answer, that child will know success.

These children are being taught that they need to hear to survive in this world. Not by words, but by actions. In the future your children may come here and share their experiences, or they may come here and be disgusted at the fact that they were made into a *psuedo hearing* child.

Let's face it. I am an implantee. Are we now hearing? Hell NO! I know true hearing and a CI is not that. It allows you to hear well, but certainly nothing even close to what a hearing person hears. Which is why I say *psuedo hearing*.

There can be many studies and articles showing the pros and cons to a CI and to not implant. But honestly are we gonna change either side by posting on a message board? I think not! Pro-Ciers are always gonna be just that pro-ci. Anti-CI is always gonna be just that Anti-Ci.

You can argue the points all you want. You can try to keep shoving your views down each others throats. But really isnt it getting tiring to do this by now? This is not educating. This is saying IM right your wrong on both sides of the fence. IF any one wants to educate. The best way to do this is to show how a CI has helped you personally. Not from some article about some unknown school or person. But from within. And the same goes for a d/Deaf person. If you want to educate about why an implant in children is wrong in your opinion. The best thing you could do is write from within and show us your experiences growing up as a deaf child.

Yes, I have stated my opinions here as well. I did this for a reason though. I want to show that there are some CIers out there who doesnt feel the same as the majority. I wanted to show that a successful implantee, can be seperate from the majority opinion. And lastly, I wanted to show that there was a CIer who doesnt feel the need to be a what I like to call CI radical.


Thank you,
Bear
Click to expand...

Thank u..that's how I started out when I joined this forum. Just shared my experiences and why I feel strongly about exposing deaf children to sign language and other deaf people and my feelings on implanting children. All I said that is I don't like it but none of my business if the parents implant them or not but just to remember that the child is not hearing so I gave my opinions about exposing them to deaf culture and ASL too. Then, I get comments or whatever that made me sound like I am anti-CI, anti-Oral deaf people, and that iam telling the parents what to do. I probably got defensive a few times and made nasty remarks back but the point is I didn't appreciate having my life experiences or suggestions twisted around like that.

Very good posting u made about your experiences and I am glad u r happy with your decision to get an implant. :)
 
IslandGal said:
Still no answer to my question? :whistle:
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I can answer!!! A few months ago there was a news report about people getting killed by the train in Rockville at night. They were all walking on the tracks. I guess they must be deaf people since they didn't hear the whistle.
:dunno:

Anyways, I undy about nobody answering your question. In other thread about oral only programs and parents becoming defensive of their choices of enrolling their deaf children in those programs. I asked "how many deaf or hoh people r emplyed in those oral programs?" nobody, except for one person who is a strong advocate for the deaf answered. Makes me wonder why. LOL!
 
Thanks shel and Deaf258 :thumb:
Actually I was hoping I would get an answer straight from neecy :popcorn:
 
neecy said:
After all, wasn't Miss Deaf Texas killed by a train while she walked along the tracks because she couldn't hear it blowing its whistle at her to try to get her off the tracks?
Click to expand...

She was killed because she was messaging to people on her sidekick pager. Plus, the train had a huge snow plow installed in front which extends further than the width of the tracks. I am sure she was walking far enough away from the train itself, but obviously she didn't expect the snow plow to be there.

People get killed for not paying attention. That's one Deaf person being killed out of many Deaf people who are still alive, fine and dandy. Being deaf is not a health risk!
 
Deaf258 said:
She was killed because she was messaging to people on her sidekick pager. Plus, the train had a huge snow plow installed in front which extends further than the width of the tracks. I am sure she was walking far enough away from the train itself, but obviously she didn't expect the snow plow to be there.

People get killed for not paying attention. That's one Deaf person being killed out of many Deaf people who are still alive, fine and dandy. Being deaf is not a health risk!
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:werd: !
 
shel90 said:
Really? I guess I should fear for my life cuz I can't hear? Interesting cuz I grew up not being paranoid about getting killed or in an accident due to not being able to hear.

Would like to see a study that compares the number of deaf people getting killed or in accidents to the number of hearing people getting killed or in accidents.

I think this is kinda going a bit extreme by saying we r at a disadvantage with safety due to our hearing loss. Then again, I don't know anything so my view and experiences would be squashed by many of the parents.
Click to expand...

I only just checked back to this thread. I wasn't saying that deaf people are more likely to be involved in accidents but rather there was a perception by those who can hear that we are at disadvantage from not being able to hear. Remember, hearing parents have no idea what is like to be deaf - they are not mind readers and they reference everything to their own experiences. Occasionally I still get the "you drive?" comment :roll:

I can still remember as a child how paranoid my mother was. I used to ride a bike everywhere and she made me have this hand thingy that attached to the bike and stuck out, so that a passing car would give me a wide berth. She also installed a mirror on my bike so that I could see what was happening behind me. At the time I was like "muuuuum!" but now I look back and think that she cared a lot about me.
 
Bear said:
Well I am a CIer and a successful implantee at that. My last hearing evaluation shows that I am now hearing at the 30DB range.

However, do I believe in implanting children NO! I believe the implant is a highly personal and agonizing choice to make. I did not just one day wake up and say hey I cant hear anymore, Im going to get a CI. It took me 9 months to even start thinking of a CI, then once I decided to see if I can qualify for an implant, it took me another 3 months just to get to the point where I decided the potential outwieghed the risks.

Now, I know I am gonna get bashed for this statement. BUT, I still wonder many many times, how many of these parents are implanting children so that the child can fit into THEIR world, instead of the parents fitting into the child's world.

I still believe, even after my own implant that it should be the child's choice to make. I still believe that a child should be allowed to grow and form its own identity. The child was born deaf, then oh my god what can we do? Get answers, ask questions, oh lets implant. I know its not that easy of a decision but when your implanting these children IT IS IN MY OPINION you took away that childs right to choose who he/she wants to be.

OFC a child is gonna love the implant, when they were too young to remember what it was like being deaf. They have no clue that this wasnt who or what they were in the beginning. Sure a child may have no hearing at night, if they take the processor off. But really if all a child knows is wow I can hear before they are even old enough to know they couldnt? Then what choice did they have but to like the CI?

A child SHOULD be allowed to chose what it wants to be. Deaf OR CI *psuedo hearing*.

I know many of you will disagree with this. And hey thats fine too, we are all allowed to have an opinion.

Am I saying all of you are like this? NO, Im not. Im saying oh I am sure there are some parents doing this. And you may argue against that. But I have run across many parents in my lifetime that dont give a rats ass about their children only themselves. So yeah, I am sure there are a FEW parents out there who is *changing* that child to fit them.

Most of you are implanting your children trying to do what you think is best. Should you be brought down for that? I dont think so. All I ask is for you to think hard about what your real reasons are for implanting that child.

Many of you think that you cannot be successful unless you can hear. That is crap! I am now and always was a success as a person, and as a friend, and in the work place. I have achieved much of what I was told I could not as a deaf person. You do not need to speak or hear to be a success as a person or in the workplace. Sure, its a little harder, but teach that child not to take NO for an answer, that child will know success.

These children are being taught that they need to hear to survive in this world. Not by words, but by actions. In the future your children may come here and share their experiences, or they may come here and be disgusted at the fact that they were made into a *psuedo hearing* child.

Let's face it. I am an implantee. Are we now hearing? Hell NO! I know true hearing and a CI is not that. It allows you to hear well, but certainly nothing even close to what a hearing person hears. Which is why I say *psuedo hearing*.

There can be many studies and articles showing the pros and cons to a CI and to not implant. But honestly are we gonna change either side by posting on a message board? I think not! Pro-Ciers are always gonna be just that pro-ci. Anti-CI is always gonna be just that Anti-Ci.

You can argue the points all you want. You can try to keep shoving your views down each others throats. But really isnt it getting tiring to do this by now? This is not educating. This is saying IM right your wrong on both sides of the fence. IF any one wants to educate. The best way to do this is to show how a CI has helped you personally. Not from some article about some unknown school or person. But from within. And the same goes for a d/Deaf person. If you want to educate about why an implant in children is wrong in your opinion. The best thing you could do is write from within and show us your experiences growing up as a deaf child.

Yes, I have stated my opinions here as well. I did this for a reason though. I want to show that there are some CIers out there who doesnt feel the same as the majority. I wanted to show that a successful implantee, can be seperate from the majority opinion. And lastly, I wanted to show that there was a CIer who doesnt feel the need to be a what I like to call CI radical.


Thank you,
Bear
Click to expand...

Hey! Good to see you back - I thought you left? And glad to hear that your CI has worked out for you. As for the rest of what you said, that's your opinion and I respect it. Ultimately, it's the parents' choice and hopefully more parents will make themselves aware of the range of viewpoints that exist regarding CIs - and there really is a range, isn't there?
 
While many deaf can not hear cars or other potenially dangerous objects, there are ways to work around this by using eyes and scanning your enviroment.

When that girl who was killed by the train while text messaging to friends, I'd consider that the deaf equalivent of the hearing using cell phones or other stuff and the hearing are too distracted to notice danger till it's too late. I've heard hearing complain about cell phone users who use them while driving.

You can't afford to be distracted when there's the potenial of danger.

You're quite right about the hearing having no idea what's it like to be deaf and it's even more annoying when they discount information from us because we're not hearing, R2D2.
 
IslandGal said:
Thanks shel and Deaf258 :thumb:
Actually I was hoping I would get an answer straight from neecy :popcorn:
Click to expand...

I'm well aware that hearing AND deaf people can die from trains - this was just an example of what parents of deaf babies fear - that their deafness could be a liability - its not in any way saying that every deaf/hearing person will get hit by a train. Sometimes I hope common sense will prevail in this discussion.
 
shel90 said:
I can answer!!! A few months ago there was a news report about people getting killed by the train in Rockville at night. They were all walking on the tracks. I guess they must be deaf people since they didn't hear the whistle.
:dunno:
..........
Click to expand...
Key-word:
NIGHT!!!

Another possible keyword: DRUNK?

And ... WAS there a horn??
 
neecy said:
I'm well aware that hearing AND deaf people can die from trains - this was just an example of what parents of deaf babies fear - that their deafness could be a liability - its not in any way saying that every deaf/hearing person will get hit by a train. Sometimes I hope common sense will prevail in this discussion.
Click to expand...

intellect.jpg
 
Cloggy said:
And ... WAS there a horn??
Click to expand...

If I recall the news broadcasts of the incident correctly, the engineer repeatedly blew his horn, right up to the time she was hit, in an attempt to warn her but she didn't hear it.

From MSN.com:

Miss Deaf Texas killed by train
Witness says engineer sounded horn repeatedly before striking 18-year-old

Updated: 8:42 a.m. PT March 14, 2006
AUSTIN - The reigning Miss Deaf Texas died Monday afternoon after being struck by a train, officials said.

Tara Rose McAvoy, 18, was walking near railroad tracks when she was struck by a Union Pacific train, authorities said. A witness told Austin television station KTBC the train sounded its horn right up until the accident occurred.

McAvoy, who had been deaf since birth, won the state title in June and represented the state “with dignity and pride,” state pageant director Laura Loeb-Hill told the Associated Press via e-mail Monday night.

McAvoy was to have represented Texas at the Miss Deaf America pageant this summer, Loeb-Hill said.

McAvoy graduated last year from the Texas School for the Deaf, attended Austin Community College and then started at Gallaudet University in Washington, D.C., in January, but had returned to Texas, Loeb-Hill said.

© 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.
Miss Deaf Texas killed by train - U.S. Life - MSNBC.com
 
Angel said:
Of course, it is normal for parents to worry about their children's safety but however when they're going across a busy street, the parents should stay close and make sure they hold their child's hand when crossing the street, a parent will go to great lengths to keep a protective shield around a child whether the child is deaf or hearing, doing whatever is necessary to keep a child from danger....It's the parents' job to teach their children how to cross the street safely when alone and even hearing children do get hit by a car too not only deaf children.....
Click to expand...

Exactly! My little cousin was killed by a car, and he was hearing. My deaf son, on the other hand, has never been hit by a car!
 
Bear said:
Well I am a CIer and a successful implantee at that. My last hearing evaluation shows that I am now hearing at the 30DB range.

However, do I believe in implanting children NO! I believe the implant is a highly personal and agonizing choice to make. I did not just one day wake up and say hey I cant hear anymore, Im going to get a CI. It took me 9 months to even start thinking of a CI, then once I decided to see if I can qualify for an implant, it took me another 3 months just to get to the point where I decided the potential outwieghed the risks.

Now, I know I am gonna get bashed for this statement. BUT, I still wonder many many times, how many of these parents are implanting children so that the child can fit into THEIR world, instead of the parents fitting into the child's world.
I still believe, even after my own implant that it should be the child's choice to make. I still believe that a child should be allowed to grow and form its own identity. The child was born deaf, then oh my god what can we do? Get answers, ask questions, oh lets implant. I know its not that easy of a decision but when your implanting these children IT IS IN MY OPINION you took away that childs right to choose who he/she wants to be.

OFC a child is gonna love the implant, when they were too young to remember what it was like being deaf. They have no clue that this wasnt who or what they were in the beginning. Sure a child may have no hearing at night, if they take the processor off. But really if all a child knows is wow I can hear before they are even old enough to know they couldnt? Then what choice did they have but to like the CI?

A child SHOULD be allowed to chose what it wants to be. Deaf OR CI *psuedo hearing*.

I know many of you will disagree with this. And hey thats fine too, we are all allowed to have an opinion.

Am I saying all of you are like this? NO, Im not. Im saying oh I am sure there are some parents doing this. And you may argue against that. But I have run across many parents in my lifetime that dont give a rats ass about their children only themselves. So yeah, I am sure there are a FEW parents out there who is *changing* that child to fit them.

Most of you are implanting your children trying to do what you think is best. Should you be brought down for that? I dont think so. All I ask is for you to think hard about what your real reasons are for implanting that child.

Many of you think that you cannot be successful unless you can hear. That is crap! I am now and always was a success as a person, and as a friend, and in the work place. I have achieved much of what I was told I could not as a deaf person. You do not need to speak or hear to be a success as a person or in the workplace. Sure, its a little harder, but teach that child not to take NO for an answer, that child will know success.

These children are being taught that they need to hear to survive in this world. Not by words, but by actions. In the future your children may come here and share their experiences, or they may come here and be disgusted at the fact that they were made into a *psuedo hearing* child.

Let's face it. I am an implantee. Are we now hearing? Hell NO! I know true hearing and a CI is not that. It allows you to hear well, but certainly nothing even close to what a hearing person hears. Which is why I say *psuedo hearing*.

There can be many studies and articles showing the pros and cons to a CI and to not implant. But honestly are we gonna change either side by posting on a message board? I think not! Pro-Ciers are always gonna be just that pro-ci. Anti-CI is always gonna be just that Anti-Ci.

You can argue the points all you want. You can try to keep shoving your views down each others throats. But really isnt it getting tiring to do this by now? This is not educating. This is saying IM right your wrong on both sides of the fence. IF any one wants to educate. The best way to do this is to show how a CI has helped you personally. Not from some article about some unknown school or person. But from within. And the same goes for a d/Deaf person. If you want to educate about why an implant in children is wrong in your opinion. The best thing you could do is write from within and show us your experiences growing up as a deaf child.

Yes, I have stated my opinions here as well. I did this for a reason though. I want to show that there are some CIers out there who doesnt feel the same as the majority. I wanted to show that a successful implantee, can be seperate from the majority opinion. And lastly, I wanted to show that there was a CIer who doesnt feel the need to be a what I like to call CI radical.


Thank you,
Bear
Click to expand...

Thank you bear!:ty: And that is my point all along--it is the parent's responsibility as an adult to share the world of deafness with their child, not to expect that child to share their hearing world.
 
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