CI Dr telling mom she's a bad mother

[jillio]

That's an unfair generalization to make,,,,,, I choose for the dr's to implant my son based on a Deaf view, as did my Deaf sister in alw, Deaf brother in law's with their own children... All of my nephews and niece who are deaf (and have Deaf parents) are all implanted.... some when a child was older- to see "if the implant really works" and some as young as 1 1/2 years old. My SIl and BIL's friends in the Deaf community are also having thier children implanted at a young age- where a child cannot make the decision for him-herself.............

BTW, just a bit off topic here, my nephews were PULLED out of a Deaf school and placed in a mainstream program in their school districts because the Deaf school was not meeting the academic needs of the children. Now, in a mainstream setting, they are flourishing.... one is even on honor roll... So the theory (at least in my own experience) that mainstreaming is a bad thing for deaf children is debunked.

And you have experience with deafness. The majority of hearing parents of def children do not. Their first contact is with the medical community at the time of their child's diagnosis.

I ask you, if mainstreaming is the panacea for deaf education, why is it that literacy and graduation rates are not increasing with the increase in mainstreamed students?

 

[doubletrouble]

And you have experience with deafness. The majority of hearing parents of def children do not. Their first contact is with the medical community at the time of their child's diagnosis.

I ask you, if mainstreaming is the panacea for deaf education, why is it that literacy and graduation rates are not increasing with the increase in mainstreamed students?

But how do you know that?? Studies are not all inculsive.... I am actively involved in the community and I know not of one person who's child is in a "study"... my own child when he is tested does not stand out..as the "deaf child" . he is mixed in with the general population and as his scores are... While I do agree with you that mainstreaming is not for everyone, and a GOOD deaf school is a better solution for some kids, the majority of deaf schools out the there are ( in my opinion) not worth it. There are 3 around here and I wouldn't send my enemies children to those schools- but that is just my opnion... Those schools are paternalistic and patronizing.... my child learns better life skills in his regular school district. My niece is in a regular high school and in in AP courses, my son is in 4th grade and is reading at a 5 th grade level... about the average level of a Deaf child . There are many factors that make mainstreaming successfull- or unsuccessful.

While many parents don't take in consideration the "Deaf perspective" when choosing the implant for their child, they are doing what they think is best for their child. Bottom line...if parents don't learn ASL at home and to effectively communicate with their children, they will be lost. As will the parents who decide to implant their child - think it's a "cure" and expect it to work without any trainisg, checkups or assistance. Either way, the dedication of the parent is PARAMOUNT , and unfortunately, the child becomes the victim in either scenario. That is what truly sets up the child for failure- oral or ASL....if there is no parental involvement, the child suffers.

 

[jillio]

But how do you know that?? Studies are not all inculsive.... I am actively involved in the community and I know not of one person who's child is in a "study"... my own child when he is tested does not stand out..as the "deaf child" . he is mixed in with the general population and as his scores are... While I do agree with you that mainstreaming is not for everyone, and a GOOD deaf school is a better solution for some kids, the majority of deaf schools out the there are ( in my opinion) not worth it. There are 3 around here and I wouldn't send my enemies children to those schools- but that is just my opnion... Those schools are paternalistic and patronizing.... my child learns better life skills in his regular school district. My niece is in a regular high school and in in AP courses, my son is in 4th grade and is reading at a 5 th grade level... about the average level of a Deaf child . There are many factors that make mainstreaming successfull- or unsuccessful.

While many parents don't take in consideration the "Deaf perspective" when choosing the implant for their child, they are doing what they think is best for their child. Bottom line...if parents don't learn ASL at home and to effectively communicate with their children, they will be lost. As will the parents who decide to implant their child - think it's a "cure" and expect it to work without any trainisg, checkups or assistance. Either way, the dedication of the parent is PARAMOUNT , and unfortunately, the child becomes the victim in either scenario. That is what truly sets up the child for failure- oral or ASL....if there is no parental involvement, the child suffers.

If your child is being served under an IEP, scores, etc. must be reported to the state as such. The state, in turn, reports statewide scores to the federal dept of ed.

I agree with you completely regarding your assessment of educational opportunity. There are deaf schools that I would not have sent my son to, either. Likewise, there are mainstream schools I would not have sent him to. In fact, I relocated to be closer to what I consider to be an ideal deaf school, and one that is highly rated nationally. I refused to keep him in the mainstream due to their complete lack of understanding of his needs, and their inability to provide for such. I posted yesterday in another thread regarding the fact that I was told, in an IEP meeting, that they saw no need for providing him with an interpreter at the kindergarten level, and would consider providing an intepreter at the 4th or 5th grade level when the academic curriculum got more difficult. I'm sure you see the utter absurdity in this attitude. I took them to due process, and they ended up having to pay his tuition to a deaf school that could serve both his edcuational and social needs.

I chose a deaf school for both academic and social reasons. My son's entire family is hearing. While I sought to make and maintain friendships within the deaf community from the time of his diagnosis in order to provide him with that social and cultural contact, I also wanted him to be in an environment where he was daily provided with deaf role models and ready and easy communication with both his teachers and his peers.

My son graduated, and is currently attending a hearing college. He maintains between a 3.3 and a 3.5 GPA. He is one of the successes, as well. My concern is those children who are slipping through the cracks. Unfortunately, I see far too many of them.

 

[doubletrouble]

I refused to keep him in the mainstream due to their complete lack of understanding of his needs, and their inability to provide for such. I posted yesterday in another thread regarding the fact that I was told, in an IEP meeting, that they saw no need for providing him with an interpreter at the kindergarten level, and would consider providing an intepreter at the 4th or 5th grade level when the academic curriculum got more difficult. I'm sure you see the utter absurdity in this attitude. I took them to due process, and they ended up having to pay his tuition to a deaf school that could serve both his edcuational and social needs., QUOTE]
:rl::rl::rl::rl::rl:
I agree that is stupdity in it's highest form... look I am not saying that mainstreaming is for everyone, but it is not.... and it also takes a certain kind of parent to stand up and advocate for their child, or else the child will get lost- thus the ones that you see. I have seen it too, and it breaks my heart- more than any of you can comprehend.

Hey, when I first came to this school dsitrcit, it was not an easy road. I left a school distrcit that was quite accomodating to my child's needs- however the district itself is horrible. I have 4 other children to consider, so we moved in an area where we were in one of the top rated distrcits in the state. I thought it would be easy, but it wasn't. I remember meeting the Special Ed director and she telling me why would I need a TOD if the district is providing speech??? DUH!!!!!!! But after some threats and A LOT of education, the district is great. I've explained how accomodating they are in another post. Unfortunately, many parents don't advocate as such, and yes I could see if I didn't, then perhaps my son would be sitting in the front of the class with no other support. But I fought and educated- and it's made a world of difference. Another problem (other than the monetary aspect) is that districts aren't educated on Deaf children and their specific needs. I am proud to say that because we chose to fight, we now have 4 deaf children in our district and starting next year , the TOD is going to be a "full time" staff member. To me, it shows in this school district- they are making a lot of strides in understanding the needs of deaf children.

 

[jillio]

I refused to keep him in the mainstream due to their complete lack of understanding of his needs, and their inability to provide for such. I posted yesterday in another thread regarding the fact that I was told, in an IEP meeting, that they saw no need for providing him with an interpreter at the kindergarten level, and would consider providing an intepreter at the 4th or 5th grade level when the academic curriculum got more difficult. I'm sure you see the utter absurdity in this attitude. I took them to due process, and they ended up having to pay his tuition to a deaf school that could serve both his edcuational and social needs., QUOTE]
:rl::rl::rl::rl::rl:
I agree that is stupdity in it's highest form... look I am not saying that mainstreaming is for everyone, but it is not.... and it also takes a certain kind of parent to stand up and advocate for their child, or else the child will get lost- thus the ones that you see. I have seen it too, and it breaks my heart- more than any of you can comprehend.

Hey, when I first came to this school dsitrcit, it was not an easy road. I left a school distrcit that was quite accomodating to my child's needs- however the district itself is horrible. I have 4 other children to consider, so we moved in an area where we were in one of the top rated distrcits in the state. I thought it would be easy, but it wasn't. I remember meeting the Special Ed director and she telling me why would I need a TOD if the district is providing speech??? DUH!!!!!!! But after some threats and A LOT of education, the district is great. I've explained how accomodating they are in another post. Unfortunately, many parents don't advocate as such, and yes I could see if I didn't, then perhaps my son would be sitting in the front of the class with no other support. But I fought and educated- and it's made a world of difference. Another problem (other than the monetary aspect) is that districts aren't educated on Deaf children and their specific needs. I am proud to say that because we chose to fight, we now have 4 deaf children in our district and starting next year , the TOD is going to be a "full time" staff member. To me, it shows in this school district- they are making a lot of strides in understanding the needs of deaf children.

Good for you. The parents who are willing to advocate for their own children and will stand up and fight are helping to make a difference for those kids whose parents can't or don't advocate. I agree that it is a constant battle. The battles I fought on my son's behalf enlightened me as to how many children are going without advocacy, and thus without proper accommodation. That is exactly why I returned to school to place myself in the position of being able to advocate for these students that are being underserved.

You are at an advantage in being able to find a district that is able to serve both your dea childs needs, as well as provide outstanding education for your hearing children. Great to hear that they are putting the TOD on full time contract, rather than having an intinerant. Improvements are happening. It is definately slow and difficult going, though.

I have no doubt that your heart breaks for the children that are not being served properly, as does mine. I suppose that is our motivation for continuing the fight. IMO, we need to band together to make these improvements. Too often, the divide is made to be a division over implantation vs. non-implantation. For me that is not the issue at all. I could care less whether a child is implanted or not. My concern is proper educational accommodation for all deaf children.

 

[jackiesolorzano]

That's an unfair generalization to make,,,,,, I choose for the dr's to implant my son based on a Deaf view, as did my Deaf sister in alw, Deaf brother in law's with their own children... All of my nephews and niece who are deaf (and have Deaf parents) are all implanted.... some when a child was older- to see "if the implant really works" and some as young as 1 1/2 years old. My SIl and BIL's friends in the Deaf community are also having thier children implanted at a young age- where a child cannot make the decision for him-herself.............

BTW, just a bit off topic here, my nephews were PULLED out of a Deaf school and placed in a mainstream program in their school districts because the Deaf school was not meeting the academic needs of the children. Now, in a mainstream setting, they are flourishing.... one is even on honor roll... So the theory (at least in my own experience) that mainstreaming is a bad thing for deaf children is debunked.

DoubleTree, I agree with you so much. This is why I pulled my daughter from the high school that had the TC/deaf students to our local high school because they did not have high enough expectation and now my daughter is the one that does not want to go back because she knows that her current teachers expect a lot from her.

 

[shel90]

Good for you. The parents who are willing to advocate for their own children and will stand up and fight are helping to make a difference for those kids whose parents can't or don't advocate. I agree that it is a constant battle. The battles I fought on my son's behalf enlightened me as to how many children are going without advocacy, and thus without proper accommodation. That is exactly why I returned to school to place myself in the position of being able to advocate for these students that are being underserved.

You are at an advantage in being able to find a district that is able to serve both your dea childs needs, as well as provide outstanding education for your hearing children. Great to hear that they are putting the TOD on full time contract, rather than having an intinerant. Improvements are happening. It is definately slow and difficult going, though.

I have no doubt that your heart breaks for the children that are not being served properly, as does mine. I suppose that is our motivation for continuing the fight. IMO, we need to band together to make these improvements. Too often, the divide is made to be a division over implantation vs. non-implantation. For me that is not the issue at all. I could care less whether a child is implanted or not. My concern is proper educational accommodation for all deaf children.[/QUOTE]

That goes for me as well too. I was heartbroken about the other thread made by another AD member about the school pressuring her to implant her children. Wow...that is horrible!

 

[jackiesolorzano]

But how do you know that?? Studies are not all inculsive.... I am actively involved in the community and I know not of one person who's child is in a "study"... my own child when he is tested does not stand out..as the "deaf child" . he is mixed in with the general population and as his scores are... While I do agree with you that mainstreaming is not for everyone, and a GOOD deaf school is a better solution for some kids, the majority of deaf schools out the there are ( in my opinion) not worth it. There are 3 around here and I wouldn't send my enemies children to those schools- but that is just my opnion... Those schools are paternalistic and patronizing.... my child learns better life skills in his regular school district. My niece is in a regular high school and in in AP courses, my son is in 4th grade and is reading at a 5 th grade level... about the average level of a Deaf child . There are many factors that make mainstreaming successfull- or unsuccessful.

While many parents don't take in consideration the "Deaf perspective" when choosing the implant for their child, they are doing what they think is best for their child. Bottom line...if parents don't learn ASL at home and to effectively communicate with their children, they will be lost. As will the parents who decide to implant their child - think it's a "cure" and expect it to work without any trainisg, checkups or assistance. Either way, the dedication of the parent is PARAMOUNT , and unfortunately, the child becomes the victim in either scenario. That is what truly sets up the child for failure- oral or ASL....if there is no parental involvement, the child suffers.

WOW WOW WOW
is all I can say, everything you said is everything that I have been trying to say and everything that I believe.

 

[jackiesolorzano]

If your child is being served under an IEP, scores, etc. must be reported to the state as such. The state, in turn, reports statewide scores to the federal dept of ed.

I agree with you completely regarding your assessment of educational opportunity. There are deaf schools that I would not have sent my son to, either. Likewise, there are mainstream schools I would not have sent him to. In fact, I relocated to be closer to what I consider to be an ideal deaf school, and one that is highly rated nationally. I refused to keep him in the mainstream due to their complete lack of understanding of his needs, and their inability to provide for such.

Jillo, I am hoping that my words come out correctly, I am not meaning to offend you at all. I understand that the mainstream environment was not right for you son, is it because your son was not able to keep with his peers and maybe that is why he need to change placement.

I posted yesterday in another thread regarding the fact that I was told, in an IEP meeting, that they saw no need for providing him with an interpreter at the kindergarten level, and would consider providing an intepreter at the 4th or 5th grade level when the academic curriculum got more difficult. I'm sure you see the utter absurdity in this attitude. I took them to due process, and they ended up having to pay his tuition to a deaf school that could serve both his edcuational and social needs.

I chose a deaf school for both academic and social reasons. My son's entire family is hearing. While I sought to make and maintain friendships within the deaf community from the time of his diagnosis in order to provide him with that social and cultural contact, I also wanted him to be in an environment where he was daily provided with deaf role models and ready and easy communication with both his teachers and his peers.

My son graduated, and is currently attending a hearing college. He maintains between a 3.3 and a 3.5 GPA. He is one of the successes, as well. My concern is those children who are slipping through the cracks. Unfortunately, I see far too many of them.

Is it what happen to your son what influences you and so you think all deaf children can be successful in a hearing environment. Isn't it a shame that you think most deaf kids cannot make it in the hearing envirnoment or with oral as their primary mode of communication.

 

[jillio]

Good for you. The parents who are willing to advocate for their own children and will stand up and fight are helping to make a difference for those kids whose parents can't or don't advocate. I agree that it is a constant battle. The battles I fought on my son's behalf enlightened me as to how many children are going without advocacy, and thus without proper accommodation. That is exactly why I returned to school to place myself in the position of being able to advocate for these students that are being underserved.

You are at an advantage in being able to find a district that is able to serve both your dea childs needs, as well as provide outstanding education for your hearing children. Great to hear that they are putting the TOD on full time contract, rather than having an intinerant. Improvements are happening. It is definately slow and difficult going, though.

I have no doubt that your heart breaks for the children that are not being served properly, as does mine. I suppose that is our motivation for continuing the fight. IMO, we need to band together to make these improvements. Too often, the divide is made to be a division over implantation vs. non-implantation. For me that is not the issue at all. I could care less whether a child is implanted or not. My concern is proper educational accommodation for all deaf children.[/QUOTE]

That goes for me as well too. I was heartbroken about the other thread made by another AD member about the school pressuring her to implant her children. Wow...that is horrible!

I agree. The school system has no business going there.

 

[jillio]

Is it what happen to your son what influences you and so you think all deaf children can be successful in a hearing environment. Isn't it a shame that you think most deaf kids cannot make it in the hearing envirnoment or with oral as their primary mode of communication.

For someone who doesn't intend to offend, you certainly are good at it. My son has always been able to keep up with his peers academically. If you will read my posts, you will see that it was the school system's unwillingness to provide the accommodations he needed. Likewise, there is more to school than the academic curriculum. Social experiences are very important as well. I wanted him to have the social experiences that are only available with those that are his peers.....other deaf students. Likewise, I wanted him to have positive role models of deaf adults in his life, and I can think of no better place to do that than a deaf school that employs masters level deaf teachers. As a consequence, he not only gained admission to a major hearing university based on his academic achievements and capabilities, but is also socially, emotionally, and psychologically very well adjusted and able to function in both the hearing and the deaf worlds.

I never said that a deaf student could not make it in a hearing environment. Obviously, you read what you want to read, rather than what is actually said. I have said that the majority of deaf children will not thrive in an oral only environment. It is my son's strong bilingual/bicultural foundation that allows him to attend a major hearing university and maintain a GPA higher than the majority of hearing students enrolled. Without that bilingual/bicultural foundation, he would be ill prepared to be as successful as he is.

 

[jillio]

DoubleTree, I agree with you so much. This is why I pulled my daughter from the high school that had the TC/deaf students to our local high school because they did not have high enough expectation and now my daughter is the one that does not want to go back because she knows that her current teachers expect a lot from her.

Jackie,
Its "doubletrouble", not "DoubleTree".

 

[shel90]

Is it what happen to your son what influences you and so you think all deaf children can be successful in a hearing environment. Isn't it a shame that you think most deaf kids cannot make it in the hearing envirnoment or with oral as their primary mode of communication.

Oh brother! :roll:

 

[shel90]

For someone who doesn't intend to offend, you certainly are good at it. My son has always been able to keep up with his peers academically. If you will read my posts, you will see that it was the school system's unwillingness to provide the accommodations he needed. Likewise, there is more to school than the academic curriculum. Social experiences are very important as well. I wanted him to have the social experiences that are only available with those that are his peers.....other deaf students. Likewise, I wanted him to have positive role models of deaf adults in his life, and I can think of no better place to do that than a deaf school that employs masters level deaf teachers. As a consequence, he not only gained admission to a major hearing university based on his academic achievements and capabilities, but is also socially, emotionally, and psychologically very well adjusted and able to function in both the hearing and the deaf worlds.

I never said that a deaf student could not make it in a hearing environment. Obviously, you read what you want to read, rather than what is actually said. I have said that the majority of deaf children will not thrive in an oral only environment. It is my son's strong bilingual/bicultural foundation that allows him to attend a major hearing university and maintain a GPA higher than the majority of hearing students enrolled. Without that bilingual/bicultural foundation, he would be ill prepared to be as successful as he is.

Isnt that what is important to the child's needs is what it is all about? I cant believe all this stuff that has been posted in here.

 

[shel90]

DoubleTree, I agree with you so much. This is why I pulled my daughter from the high school that had the TC/deaf students to our local high school because they did not have high enough expectation and now my daughter is the one that does not want to go back because she knows that her current teachers expect a lot from her.

It is doubletrouble...not double treee the hotel. LOL!

 

[jillio]

Isnt that what is important to the child's needs is what it is all about? I cant believe all this stuff that has been posted in here.

Yes, it is. And everytime we get a reasonable discussion going about it, and posters start having a productive sharing of ideas and viewpoints, these ridiculas posts that are intended to inflame start showing up again.