Church bans Autistic Boy

VamPyroX said:
I was thinking the same thing. I've gone to several churches and most of them offer this.
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That's the kicker. The church offered and the family refused. They simply refuse to do it any other way other than the way they demand....for him to be present in services with the rest of the congregation. It would appear that this mother's intent is not just for her son to be able to attend religious services, but to attend religious services in the way that she demands despite the shown risk to other parishoners. It would appear that the church is the far more reasonable party here. They have attempted to provide accommodations that are very reasonable and the family has repeatedly refused to accept those accommodations. This family should keep in mind, as well, that a religious institution is under no legal mandate to offer accommodation under the ADA. If they attempt to provide such, it is out of a caring attitude toward the member needing accommodation.
 
jillio said:
That's the kicker. The church offered and the family refused. They simply refuse to do it any other way other than the way they demand....for him to be present in services with the rest of the congregation. It would appear that this mother's intent is not just for her son to be able to attend religious services, but to attend religious services in the way that she demands despite the shown risk to other parishoners. It would appear that the church is the far more reasonable party here. They have attempted to provide accommodations that are very reasonable and the family has repeatedly refused to accept those accommodations. This family should keep in mind, as well, that a religious institution is under no legal mandate to offer accommodation under the ADA. If they attempt to provide such, it is out of a caring attitude toward the member needing accommodation.
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That's right. It's best when both people work together. That's why it should be a 2-way cooperation. The mother can't just sit there and demand that the church "do this and that". She needs to do her part to make it easier as well. :roll:
 
deafbajagal said:
I suspect there's more going on than just autism. The way the parents are handling him (e.g., sitting on him) are inapprorpriate and in fact, making it worse.
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Not particularly. I use an extremely heavy weighted blanket when I'm stressed out to calm down. It's extremely common with autistic spectrum disorders.. it's relaxing. While sitting on someone might seem strange, carrying a 40+ pound blanket isn't exactly practical. Clearly, it's not a day-to-day method to rely on, but if it's the difference between someone hurting themselves in a meltdown.. sure.

We rock, flap our lands, and indeed weigh ourselves down for a good reason. It makes is feel good. Just because it disturbs YOU doesn't mean that it is WRONG.

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On topic with the thread: seriously, this family needs a slap in the face. Churches smell. They have a lot of people. There's usually disturbing amounts of sound. It is -absolutely- no surprise that even a mildly autistic person would become upset in that situation, much less one severely so.

I'm all for the RIGHT to go somewhere, but standing up for your son's right to be somewhere he doesn't care to understand and is bothered by? that's just wrong, folks.
 
Aleser said:
Not particularly. I use an extremely heavy weighted blanket when I'm stressed out to calm down. It's extremely common with autistic spectrum disorders.. it's relaxing. While sitting on someone might seem strange, carrying a 40+ pound blanket isn't exactly practical. Clearly, it's not a day-to-day method to rely on, but if it's the difference between someone hurting themselves in a meltdown.. sure.

We rock, flap our lands, and indeed weigh ourselves down for a good reason. It makes is feel good. Just because it disturbs YOU doesn't mean that it is WRONG.

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On topic with the thread: seriously, this family needs a slap in the face. Churches smell. They have a lot of people. There's usually disturbing amounts of sound. It is -absolutely- no surprise that even a mildly autistic person would become upset in that situation, much less one severely so.

I'm all for the RIGHT to go somewhere, but standing up for your son's right to be somewhere he doesn't care to understand and is bothered by? that's just wrong, folks.
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You bring up another good point, good insight... well done. :D
 
Any chruch that bans austistic childern or other disable children is wrong to banned a handicap children. What the hell was the chruch thinking? I guess some people out there are cruel and heartless and spiteful. The chruch is wrong to do such a terrible thing to a autistic child. If I go to the chruch and tell me my child banned ,, I give the chruch a piece of my mind and tell them what I think of them and sue their ass in court.
 
I met this mother last weekend, she has disabled daughter and she does not agree with this mother to bring her austic son to church. She won't bring her daughter to church because she sometime gets so upset and scream and throw fit.

This mother can ask Church to send someone to her house to give her and austic son a communion.
 
Yeah.

Just to recap:
We must consider that the church DID try to accommodate.
The young man (who is quite large, and probably very strong) was having aggressive 'fits' and hurting people. (also urinating on things, apparently) That is hard to control, and bless him if he can't help it, but I would not want to be around someone who is possibly going to punch or grab me, in a church setting... not to mention just plain disturbance of peace. The parents are just too stubborn to realize, that even though he probably can't help it, the child is a risk to others and a disturbance to the congregation.

Everyone should be given a chance to go to church, but you can't reserve the whole church for the sake of one person, by that very same token.
 
After warning, family of autistic teen attends different church

The mother of a 13-year-old autistic boy who was banned by a court order from attending services at a Roman Catholic church in Bertha, Minn., woke up Sunday determined to take her son to mass.

But Carol Race changed her mind when Todd County Sheriff Pete Mikkelson met her at the end of her driveway Sunday and told her she would be arrested if she brought her son, Adam, into the Church of St. Joseph.

Instead, Race took Adam and her four other children to mass at Christ the King Church in nearby Browerville, Minn. "It occurred to me that if I step foot in [St. Joseph], they will arrest me and I won't end up going to mass anyway," she said.

A court hearing on the matter has been continued until June 2 so that Race can hire an attorney.

The dispute has drawn attention to what Race and advocates for the disabled say is a lack of education and understanding about autism. Race said that even though her son, who is home-schooled, sometimes acts up in church, the experience benefits him.

"He has a sense of the routine," she said. "That's one of the beautiful things about the Catholic mass for autistic individuals, its routine."
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Follow up: Minn. mom pleads not guilty to breaking church ban -- chicagotribune.com

Repeatedly, she recites the Church Doctrine that Sunday mass and Holy observances must be attended. If anything, it's the Church who set the stage of exclusivity.
 
Wokamuka said:
Follow up: Minn. mom pleads not guilty to breaking church ban -- chicagotribune.com

Repeatedly, she recites the Church Doctrine that Sunday mass and Holy observances must be attended. If anything, it's the Church who set the stage of exclusivity.
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That may be letter of the doctrine, but not the 'spirit' of it. Nothing says it has to be done in that particular building, that I have ever read. A church (lower case 'c') is different from The Church (upper case). One is a building, the other is congregation. One can participate without having to go into that one building.
 
I'm inclined to think that the parents are in denial as to how severe their son's behavioral issues are. That being said, they probably aren't open to much. I think the kid needs to be medicated or placed in a secure environment where he's not a danger to himself or someone else. Some people said you can't medicate someone with autism, but actually you can. The drug Risperdal has been proven effective in controlling the destructive behaviors associated with autism spectrum disorders. Normally, I'm not in favor of medicating kids from the jump, but in this case, I think it would be prudent to consider meds.

Risperidone - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In 2006 the FDA approved risperidone for the treatment of irritability in children and adolescents with autism. The FDA's decision was based in part on a study of autistic children with severe and enduring problems of tantrums, aggression, and self-injury; risperidone is not recommended for autistic children with mild aggression and explosive behavior without an enduring pattern.
 
Our pastor and his wife have a multi-handicapped daughter who is now an adult. When the daughter became a teenager, the pastor and his wife made a difficult, heart-wrenching decision--they would no longer bring their daughter to church services. She had several severe physical and mental problems. Some of those problems manifested themselves in loud boisterous vocalizations and movements. She was physically too big for mom to handle.

They understood that no one, including their daughter, benefited spiritually by her presence at church. The daughter didn't enjoy it, the service was interrupted so the congregation couldn't pay attention, and the pastor was distracted by her outbursts.

(I'm giving a very brief version of what happened; it wasn't a quick cut-and-dry decision.)

I can only speak for my church and our beliefs; others believe differently. We believe that Christians should attend a good Bible-believing church as often as possible in order to hear strong preaching and teaching, share concerns and prayers together, and fellowship one with another. BUT we also believe that there are no spiritual "points" to be gained by church attendance or the performance of rituals. People who can't regularly attend church services because of their work (like police and military), or illness, or family circumstances (unbelieving parents or spouses who won't allow them to go), aren't committing a sin. We also support them with CD copies of the service, home visits, etc.

In these litigious days, I'm afraid church leadership really has to protect the congregation. Can you imagine what would happen if the autistic boy seriously injured a member? The community would be screaming, "Why didn't the church protect the members from that dangerous boy?!"

Sometimes no one "wins". :(
 
Reba said:
Our pastor and his wife have a multi-handicapped daughter who is now an adult. When the daughter became a teenager, the pastor and his wife made a difficult, heart-wrenching decision--they would no longer bring their daughter to church services. She had several severe physical and mental problems. Some of those problems manifested themselves in loud boisterous vocalizations and movements. She was physically too big for mom to handle.

They understood that no one, including their daughter, benefited spiritually by her presence at church. The daughter didn't enjoy it, the service was interrupted so the congregation couldn't pay attention, and the pastor was distracted by her outbursts.

(I'm giving a very brief version of what happened; it wasn't a quick cut-and-dry decision.)

I can only speak for my church and our beliefs; others believe differently. We believe that Christians should attend a good Bible-believing church as often as possible in order to hear strong preaching and teaching, share concerns and prayers together, and fellowship one with another. BUT we also believe that there are no spiritual "points" to be gained by church attendance or the performance of rituals. People who can't regularly attend church services because of their work (like police and military), or illness, or family circumstances (unbelieving parents or spouses who won't allow them to go), aren't committing a sin. We also support them with CD copies of the service, home visits, etc.

In these litigious days, I'm afraid church leadership really has to protect the congregation. Can you imagine what would happen if the autistic boy seriously injured a member? The community would be screaming, "Why didn't the church protect the members from that dangerous boy?!"

Sometimes no one "wins". :(
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Yeah... I think private study or 'rituals' are in order in such cases, maybe with close friends who understand present, if the parents still feel the need... it is tough on the heart to do something like that, but even I understand not wanting to be in church around a lot of people, it was very stressful for me, so I stopped going and did private studies with friends for a while. It would have to be especially hard for someone with behavioral problems or can't move well or communicate, and are 'forced' to go into a stressful environment and really have no reasonable way to act out on it, aside from having an outburst like that.
 
GarnetTigerMom said:
Any chruch that bans austistic childern or other disable children is wrong to banned a handicap children. What the hell was the chruch thinking? I guess some people out there are cruel and heartless and spiteful. The chruch is wrong to do such a terrible thing to a autistic child. If I go to the chruch and tell me my child banned ,, I give the chruch a piece of my mind and tell them what I think of them and sue their ass in court.
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The ADA does not apply to churches. Evidently, the courts thought that there was sufficient evidence to issue a restraining order to keep the child from being a danger to other parishoners.
 
The church priest who banned her son, he definitely done it wrong also must do confessional for discrimination on handicapped kid or he will knew his god will angry at him for being priest:-X lol
 
dark said:
The church priest who banned her son, he definitely done it wrong also must do confessional for discrimination on handicapped kid or he will knew his god will angry at him for being priest:-X lol
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Actually, it wasn't the priest who banned her son. There was a restraining order issued by the court that restricted the autistic's boy's attendance at church because it posed a threat to others. It is the court that has banned the child from attending church services.
 
that church sucks. i hope a norweigian black metal band burns it to the ground.

and goddamn thats a big 13 year old kid.
 
Wokamuka said:
Technically:
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The priest can file the paperwork requesting a restraining order, but the order is not issued until a judge signs the paperwork. If there is not sufficient evidence of need for protection, the judge will refuse the restraining order. So, in effect, it can only be requested by the individual seeking protection. The actual legal document is issued by the court, and there is a hearing prior to determine if the circumstances warrant a restraining order. Once a judge has issued it, the police department with jurisdiction serves it on the individual.
 
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