Jazzberry
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Actually, that's a lot of what being Hoh is - hearing fairly well in some situations (quiet, familiar voices etc) and clearly being Hoh in others.
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From a medical standpoint, the way you perceive sounds/understand voices makes you Hoh & it's completely accurate to call yourself Hoh (in ASL using the standard Hoh "HH" sign ... I wouldn't suggest modifying it as it's likely to confuse more than clarify)
No, because it's an accurate description to say that people with CAPD/APD are hard of hearing (hoh). If you can't function as a "hearing person" in situations where there is background noise, people chatting etc ... that's being Hoh.
In your situation, your specific Hoh "type" is CAPD/APD - versus "conductive", "sensorineural" or "mixed".
<snip>
trying to explain the different variables takes too long for most people and they generally don't care.
Just want to say that I strongly agree with all of the above.
I've been diagnosed as HH and not APD and I know that my ability to hear varies wildly. It depends on how many people are near by, how loudly they are talking, how far away they are, how awake I am, what their voice pitches are, how familiar I am with what happens to be being discussed (with 80% word discrimination in one ear and 64% discrimination in another ear that means that even in the best listening situation I'm doing a lot of guessing), what the acoustic characteristics are of the rooom I'm in, what the humidity is (sound carries better the "wetter" the room or weather is -- I hear better when the shower is running) and many, many more variables.
What I find that upsets most hearing people usually is not being able to predict when and where I can hear. If they can't do that, some of them will begin to distrust me -- that has been my experience anyway. It has also been my experience that they also mistrust most HH with a significant loss that they meet or know, although I'm not always sure that they realize that.
So, what I do with people I like or see a lot is to do my best to explain why my ability to hear varies so much. Then, if I happen to hear them even if they didn't wait to get my attention -- I will probably still respond.
If I think that they are the mistrusting type and will assume the worse of me, I will basically do my best to only respond to them if they say my name first, wait until they have my attention, and are facing me, and are not covering their mouths or eating something, etc. I find that by my attempting to bring more consistancy to the situation, even if sometimes it is not necc., makes it easier for us to work together. I usually use this technique with people I work with and not in social situations. Why would I hang out with people that wouldn't be inclined to trust me or don't have an affinity towards me and can't basically figure me out within a reasonable amount of time? I don't, so I don't usually find the need to use that technique outside of work.
Hope that makes sense.
The most I add is something like - I have learning disability and/or may not hear you well. I may need you to show and model <something> to me instead of tell me.
Based on my past work experiences, if I had an LD or APD I don't think I would not tell most people why I don't hear well, just simply that I don't hear well. If someone was my friend and I have reason to trust them than I would give them more info. The reason is because my experience has not been good with many people that I had worked with and I would not trust them to behave intelligently or maturely. There's no reason to, but some people do make more of an issue over some physical conditions than others. My attitude is that its not my job to educate them and I don't give them any info that they might try to use as ammunition against me because of ignorance, prejudice, etc. (Teasing, distorting facts to people who make hiring and promotion decisions, etc.)
<snip> I'm very sensitive about the idea of appropriating someone else's labels. I have a strong distaste for the idea of speaking on behalf of other people or claiming an identity that isn't mine.
Personally, I appreciate the time you have taken to think about this and be careful not to offend anyone -- but I really believe that there is no problem with your calling yourself HH.
"functionally HoH" sounds pretty accurate, given my experiences.
I think you can drop the word functionally. Like dogmom said above, most people won't care and I agree that most people appreciate shorter vs longer explanations.
My friends have been thinking that I was "HoH" for a long time now, and I know I give a lot of people that impression. They just get confused when I seem hearing in some situations, and HoH in others. <snip>
Many hearing people do. It sounds like the reasons for why our hearing varies differs but the effect is the same.
BTW, as you probably already know, not every hearing person will tell you that they are confused and why. A long time ago someone told me that in negotiations its important to know what the other side's unasked questions are and to answer it for them. If you don't they often won't ask but will come up with an unfavorable and probably untrue answer that will not be helpful to the situation. I find that understanding handy in hearing/HH situations also.
So for example, in my situation, I have often explained to people that I work with, before they asked, why I need to lipread in person but can often handle a phone call. IMHO, that has helped made things go more smoothly.
You may decide to also answer people's unasked questions in your own life and you may find this helpful to you also.
I do have a question for you -- with my type of hearing loss I know what kind of assistive listening devices (ALD) can help me in addition to hearing aids. Have you discussed ALDs with your audiologist? Will the standard ALDs for most HH people also help you? I would think that many of them would, for example an FM system.