bit of a rant..

lovezebras

lovezebras

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So my boyfriend and I were in Mont Tremblant ,which is a ski hill, last weekend and we were going up the gondola and he was in front of me and talking to me but not facing me so I asked him to repeat himself..so he did..but still didn't face me so I asked again and I still didn't hear him so he said "ugh nvm" and I said well obvs you had something to say so say it and his response was "well it's frustrating having to repeat myself all the time!" ..so I told him well you have a deaf girlfriend so get used to it ..and then we were silent the rest of the ride up and he knew I was mad so he just changed the subject..

I was talking to my audi and she said if he keeps doing it to bring him in and they will show him how I "hear". I am considering it if he keeps being unreasonable about it..Like it's not like I'm asking you the world just to face me and talk to me like holy f...

ugh fml
 
He doesn't have patience and not doing the properly communicate with you.

I keep forget myself that I'm not suppose use the high-speed sign language to certainly people. I make my mistake without think during stress or anxious.
 
Have been in that situation with boyfriends before. It sucks, especially when they use this tactic as a form of passive aggressiveness when they're in a bad mood.
 
I bet it won't get better. Sorry to be a pessimist, but I think you should rethink this relationship.
 
Wow. That's awful. I'll admit I'm guilty of that sometimes with my BF (I'm hearing, he's deaf,) but when he points out what I'm doing, I correct it right away. I also recognize that I'm not always patient, and I am working on that.

I'm sorry he treats you that way. It sounds like he does not even try. :(

Jen M.
 
Maybe try the honey vs. vinegar approach? Tell him you always need to see his sweet face to hear what he says.
 
Bottesini said:
I bet it won't get better. Sorry to be a pessimist, but I think you should rethink this relationship.
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Nah, you're not sorry.... :)

This IS a problem and will continue to be a problem. Something must be done about it, but, like Botts... I get the feeling that it won't turn out to be good.
 
Daredevel7 said:
Nah, you're not sorry.... :)

This IS a problem and will continue to be a problem. Something must be done about it, but, like Botts... I get the feeling that it won't turn out to be good.
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Once the communication becomes a problem, you can expect more problems to be on the way.
 
Daredevel7 said:
Nah, you're not sorry.... :)

This IS a problem and will continue to be a problem. Something must be done about it, but, like Botts... I get the feeling that it won't turn out to be good.
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I fail to see why it wouldn't go the other way.....for the better.
 
Bottesini said:
I bet it won't get better. Sorry to be a pessimist, but I think you should rethink this relationship.
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Plus a girl that is as attractive as you shouldn't have any problems getting a better BF. Keep talking yourself up so you'll won't be prepared to take that kind of sh*t. He needs to know there's consequences to bad behaviour.
 
yea..... oh well.... there is easy way and hard way....
 
If he does this all the time, or the majority of the time...then I agree, there is a problem....If it's just here and there, not often, then say it's normal. Why? Because many times I"ve mumbled to myself about something, cursed under my breath about something,,or just was talking to the air about something...And when I'm asked "what did you say>"....I answered, "oh nothing"...

I do notice that hearies do talk to themselves often. I dunno why...Still, if you feel he was ignoring you, you have a valid complaint. It's hard to talk on a skilift (if that was what you were on), and he was not facing you....
 
rockin'robin said:
If he does this all the time, or the majority of the time...then I agree, there is a problem....If it's just here and there, not often, then say it's normal. Why? Because many times I"ve mumbled to myself about something, cursed under my breath about something,,or just was talking to the air about something...And when I'm asked "what did you say>"....I answered, "oh nothing"...

I do notice that hearies do talk to themselves often. I dunno why...Still, if you feel he was ignoring you, you have a valid complaint. It's hard to talk on a skilift (if that was what you were on), and he was not facing you....
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he doesn't do it all the time..this is the first time this has happened that hes usually really good with repeating me and facing me..I think just cuz I've been doing it a lot more lately maybe he's just adjusting..but none the less I was upset about it and didn't expect him to say that..

and we were not on the ski lift just walking to it/in line but he was a lil ahead of me and not facing me ...i saw his lips moving from the side and knew he wasn't talking to himself lol just couldn't read his lips fully to know what the heck he was saying...
 
It's pretty obvious that even though he has been understanding up to this point, he harbors resentment and frustration for your hearing, and it's been building. He let some steam out on the ski slope. He'll probably do it again unless you can change the fundamental cause of the problem, which doesn't seem likely, possible, or reasonable.

Good luck with that . . .
 
Don't fall in love with a man's potential. You can't change people.
 
AliciaM-

I hope for your sake that it's not an ongoing problem, but just a learning curve.

I know that it can be hard for hearing people to remember to look at you, etc. in order to communicate... especially if voice is your main mode of communication. The hearing way of communicating and interacting with the world is pretty ingrained, and it can be easy to forget.

I also know that I am guilty of this... I would get frustrated when I would sign something, and my ex didn't understand. I'd repeat, repeat, change the signs, get frustrated and say nevermind... Especially if it was a little something that didn't seem worth the effort of repeating, or if I was upset and didn't WANT to slow down. It wasn't fair to her, any more than hearing people's "oh, nevermind" dismissal.

That said... if he's always frustrated because he has to repeat himself (and forgets to look at you), or if communication continues to be this big issue... well. *hugs* for you, and good luck.

I personally like this hearing loss simulator the best... because it's visual too! :) I sent it to my boss, and told him "Remember... WITH my hearing aids, I hear at the moderate loss level." I think a lot of people think that hearing aids mean you can hear just fine, and they don't understand why you'd still need them to look at you when speaking.

Good luck!
 
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