bit of a rant..

Maybe I'll use that simulator then ..it definitely doesn't happen often and like I Sao usually hea find with repeating words and making sure he's facing me etc...he was also really frustrated at his best friend on this trip we were on cuz his friend was ignoring him (ya I swear guys pms too like girls) so I think it was many things he was frustrated bout and he just decided to take it out on me..anyhow if it happens again I'll put my foot down because I know I don't deserve to be treated like that and wouldn't do that to h of the roles were reversed.
 
How long you and your boyfriend together? If this is new boyfriend and maybe give him a chance.
 
Phillips said:
How long you and your boyfriend together? If this is new boyfriend and maybe give him a chance.
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That's what I was wondering.

When I was younger, I was willing to tolerate more. By the time I met the woman I'm with now (who is hearing), I was willing to tolerate very little in terms of ongoing communication problems. When we first started our relationship, there was an adjustment period for both of us, but the really important factor was that we were both very interested in making sure we could communicate well, whatever the method.

If you haven't been together long and he generally shows that he's aware of your communication needs, and everything is otherwise good, give it time. If you've been together awhile, there's really no excuse for him to refuse to repeat what he said.

What I did in the past with my GF is be polite, but firm. "Yes, you've said this three times now, but I simply have not gotten the message. Please repeat it." If she gave me attitude, I called her on it. You have to stand up for what you need from the beginning. Things will be harder to change later.
 
Take your audiologist up on her offer!!! I am late deafened, married for 12 years now (together 16). My hearing (really HEARING, we swear he can hear dog whistles!) husband is the most amazing man I know. I know he loves me more than his own life. We have an amazing marriage. Nobody gets me like he does, and vise versa. It is not uncommon for people to remark on how awesome we are together.

HOWEVER. I try to keep an open mind. I know, growing up hearing with a late deafened mother, how frustrating it can be. It wasn't until I started losing my own hearing that I totally understood. So I know my loving husband will never understand, maybe more than more people, but never as good as other late deafened individuals. Usually it's not an issue, but whether due to my paranoia (it's really bad at times!), or my husband's lack of understanding just because he can hear, shit happens. Feelings are hurt. I want to say my husband is 100% perfect for me, but really, if for just 1 hour, I could have him understand the difficulties and idiocy I deal with every day, our marriage would be even better.

It's something that can't be taught, only experienced. Have an open mindm as long as you know your SO has one also, even if it doesn't meet your expectations. But even if he/she gets little taste of what it is like to be you (and not only taking about deafness/hoh), if he/she meets your fulfillment and understanding 95% of the time, he/she is a keeper, and this isn't only in regards to being D(d)eaf/HOH, but human.
 
Actually funny that this came up because I ended up breaking up with him...lol Not really funny but he wasn't beig mature in the relationship and I hadn't had seen him side new years eve cuz he was "too busy" which is a prob for me..so broke up with him..
 
Aw, im sorry but you know what you are doing and know what you want. go for it. i know youre a toughie gal.
 
This past weekend after church I made a bad joke, that my deaf friend didn't understand. (I was signing it. It was just not funny at all and I was probably a little too "English-y" for it to make any sense in ASL).
He asked me to repeat it.
I did.
He still didn't get it. So now I had to launch into a paragraph explaining what I had said/meant.

I cannot tell you how much I wanted to say "Nevermind". In a group of hearing people I would have. But all I could think was how this is the number one hated word in the Deaf community. And I am pretty sure at that moment, my friend really hated my cultural sensitivity. Next time though, he is going to get "no, seriously, it wasn't funny. Really."

I do agree with one of the posters above though. If he had a moment of adjustment to having a Deaf girlfriend, forgive him cautiously. Don't make him walk on eggshells but if this becomes a pattern be aware that if he always does this while dating, he won't suddenly get more sensitive. I mean, dating is the time when you are supposed to be on your best behavior to impress the person you are with. If this is how he impresses an "woos" you consistently, I would proceed with caution.
 
This past weekend after church I made a bad joke, that my deaf friend didn't understand. (I was signing it. It was just not funny at all and I was probably a little too "English-y" for it to make any sense in ASL).
He asked me to repeat it.
I did.
He still didn't get it. So now I had to launch into a paragraph explaining what I had said/meant.

I cannot tell you how much I wanted to say "Nevermind". In a group of hearing people I would have. But all I could think was how this is the number one hated word in the Deaf community. And I am pretty sure at that moment, my friend really hated my cultural sensitivity. Next time though, he is going to get "no, seriously, it wasn't funny. Really."

I do agree with one of the posters above though. If he had a moment of adjustment to having a Deaf girlfriend, forgive him cautiously. Don't make him walk on eggshells but if this becomes a pattern be aware that if he always does this while dating, he won't suddenly get more sensitive. I mean, dating is the time when you are supposed to be on your best behavior to impress the person you are with. If this is how he impresses an "woos" you consistently, I would proceed with caution.
 
kellycat said:
This past weekend after church I made a bad joke, that my deaf friend didn't understand. (I was signing it. It was just not funny at all and I was probably a little too "English-y" for it to make any sense in ASL).
He asked me to repeat it.
I did.
He still didn't get it. So now I had to launch into a paragraph explaining what I had said/meant.

I cannot tell you how much I wanted to say "Nevermind". In a group of hearing people I would have. But all I could think was how this is the number one hated word in the Deaf community. And I am pretty sure at that moment, my friend really hated my cultural sensitivity. Next time though, he is going to get "no, seriously, it wasn't funny. Really."

I do agree with one of the posters above though. If he had a moment of adjustment to having a Deaf girlfriend, forgive him cautiously. Don't make him walk on eggshells but if this becomes a pattern be aware that if he always does this while dating, he won't suddenly get more sensitive. I mean, dating is the time when you are supposed to be on your best behavior to impress the person you are with. If this is how he impresses an "woos" you consistently, I would proceed with caution.
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Dunno if you noticed my other post :p lol but u broke up wih him ..disnt wanna deal with his bullshit
 
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