Audism - The Definition and the Audist View

rebeccalj said:
Oh, okay, that makes sense. So, even though a person might have the ability to verbally inflect, the reader/listener will take the message from body language first?
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If the body language and the verbal message are congruent (that is, if they agree) then both will be considered equally. But if the verbal message and the body language are incongruent (such as in lying), then the non-verbal will be given more weight than the verbal.

But basically, yes. You are correct in that we all look to non-verbal messages first to derive meaning.
 
BecLak said:
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Yes unless they are dubious to it. Some are better at reading body language than others.
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That is true. Some are more proficient, and some are just naturally more intuitive. The deaf population, as a whole, is more intuititive because they have been placed in the position of having to be in order to survive and oral environment.
 
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jillio said:
BecLak said:
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Yes unless they are dubious to it. Some are better at reading body language than others.
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That is true. Some are more proficient, and some are just naturally more intuitive. The deaf population, as a whole, is more intuititive because they have been placed in the position of having to be in order to survive and oral environment.
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Exactly :D
 
jillio said:
That is true. Some are more proficient, and some are just naturally more intuitive. The deaf population, as a whole, is more intuititive because they have been placed in the position of having to be in order to survive and oral environment.
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Exactly! I am very good at reading body language for precisely that reason. Had to in order to communicate.
 
rebeccalj said:
Exactly! I am very good at reading body language for precisely that reason. Had to in order to communicate.
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Yes. And unfortunately, I have often heard the misquided parent say, "See! He/she understood what I said with his/her hearing" without even having a grasp of the fact that the child is relying on visual information for comprehension.
 
jillio said:
Yes. And unfortunately, I have often heard the misquided parent say, "See! He/she understood what I said with his/her hearing" without even having a grasp of the fact that the child is relying on visual information for comprehension.
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That is exactly what my own parents did. "She doesn't need to keep signing, she can understand what we are saying just fine." Uhm, yeah, because I *HAD* to. There is nothing worse than being a Deaf kid and being desperate to communicate but, because another language is forced on you, you either conform, and learn quickly, or you live a lonely existence with noone to talk to.
 
rebeccalj said:
That is exactly what my own parents did. "She doesn't need to keep signing, she can understand what we are saying just fine." Uhm, yeah, because I *HAD* to. There is nothing worse than being a Deaf kid and being desperate to communicate but, because another language is forced on you, you either conform, and learn quickly, or you live a lonely existence with noone to talk to.
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Agreed. It is tragic.
 
rebeccalj said:
That is exactly what my own parents did. "She doesn't need to keep signing, she can understand what we are saying just fine." Uhm, yeah, because I *HAD* to. There is nothing worse than being a Deaf kid and being desperate to communicate but, because another language is forced on you, you either conform, and learn quickly, or you live a lonely existence with noone to talk to.
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Interesting and tragic. I found interesting notice. Year ago, I found one of my wife photo and it was from her mom's 70th birthday I believe. In this picture, in the forground I saw many family, sibling standing around talking, in the background I saw my wife sitting on the floor against the wall with her laptop lonely. You know, she is only a deaf child in the family. I can see in the forground where all the people enjoyed drinking chatting with other. Later I asked her about this photo and she said it was the time that she was chatting with me on IM because she hate being lonely. She couldn't catch what all the people is talking about and she was frustrated. You know, in this picture in term of interpretation that you can see all the crowd having a good time and my wife is being pushed back in the background in such a small size, it's like she's a minority of all the people standing in front of her. She was surprised about my interpretation of this photo, but she said she was very glad that I was online and she enjoyed it so much. That was before we got married.
 
SneakerNet said:
Interesting and tragic. I found interesting notice. Year ago, I found one of my wife photo and it was from her mom's 70th birthday I believe. In this picture, in the forground I saw many family, sibling standing around talking, in the background I saw my wife sitting on the floor against the wall with her laptop lonely. You know, she is only a deaf child in the family. I can see in the forground where all the people enjoyed drinking chatting with other. Later I asked her about this photo and she said it was the time that she was chatting with me on IM because she hate being lonely. She couldn't catch what all the people is talking about and she was frustrated. You know, in this picture in term of interpretation that you can see all the crowd having a good time and my wife is being pushed back in the background in such a small size, it's like she's a minority of all the people standing in front of her. She was surprised about my interpretation of this photo, but she said she was very glad that I was online and she enjoyed it so much. That was before we got married.
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That picture of your wife sounds familiar to me, too. Often I get frustrated because I don't understand conversation that I will just go off and be by myself. What's the point of trying to participate in conversation when you don't understand. Especially when hearies drink because they interupt each other so much that the flow of conversation hard to follow. Can't switch to lip read who is talking fast enough, lose track of conversation, then give up.
 
rebeccalj said:
That is exactly what my own parents did. "She doesn't need to keep signing, she can understand what we are saying just fine." Uhm, yeah, because I *HAD* to. There is nothing worse than being a Deaf kid and being desperate to communicate but, because another language is forced on you, you either conform, and learn quickly, or you live a lonely existence with noone to talk to.
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Wow, I did not know that I was sending them messages not knowing they thought that I am doing fine in the oral-only environment, even my parents. I used visual a lot back then. No wonder they turn me down when I asked them for lessons on ASL and to get an interpreters for the hearing classrooms. What a bummer. Now I learned something. :cool2:
 
I had same problem with my parents. I read them far too well, by their body language and the timing they talk to me as if I can almost understand them without lipreading which is impossible for me. I get pretty good idea what they going to talk me about before they even open their mouth (they are quite predictable with me).
 
Bebonang said:
Wow, I did not know that I was sending them messages not knowing they thought that I am doing fine in the oral-only environment, even my parents. I used visual a lot back then. No wonder they turn me down when I asked them for lessons on ASL and to get an interpreters for the hearing classrooms. What a bummer. Now I learned something. :cool2:
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It makes sense that we cope because we are so visual. Even if we don't know ASL fluently we still read lips, facial expressions and body language.

Hearies don't understand just how much we rely on visual to communicate along with sign.
 
Speedy Hawk said:
I had same problem with my parents. I read them far too well, by their body language and the timing they talk to me as if I can almost understand them without lipreading which is impossible for me. I get pretty good idea what they going to talk me about before they even open their mouth (they are quite predictable with me).
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Me too! One big frustration that I've had in hearie relationships is the fact that I anticipate more than they are used to.

Looking for your keys? I can tell just by looking at you/reading you what you are looking for before you even ask. This comes from years and year of reading from the visual that I was seeing all the time I was growing up.
 
Bebonang said:
Wow, I did not know that I was sending them messages not knowing they thought that I am doing fine in the oral-only environment, even my parents. I used visual a lot back then. No wonder they turn me down when I asked them for lessons on ASL and to get an interpreters for the hearing classrooms. What a bummer. Now I learned something. :cool2:
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I don't mean to quote again but I forget the main point. Reading body language and lips and facial expressions is only part of our communication. We also use ASL to *fully* communicate in our native language. You can still communicate without ASL if you only have the body, facial and lip (BLF) reading ability. But, it's almost impossible to use ASL on its own without the other BLF reading added in.

I think this is why so many hearie parents, at least ours in this case, took ASL away, or access to it away, because they don't realize that deafies need *ALL* of the parts to communicate. When they take away ASL we can still understand but we are missing all of the visual picture so communication becomes more challenging and we are often misunderstood because of it. They take one aspect of our whole communication away.

I hope I explain this correctly.
 
Don't forget tactile. It of necessity misses your" BFL."
 
rebeccalj said:
Me too! One big frustration that I've had in hearie relationships is the fact that I anticipate more than they are used to.

Looking for your keys? I can tell just by looking at you/reading you what you are looking for before you even ask. This comes from years and year of reading from the visual that I was seeing all the time I was growing up.
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Exactly. Many other examples too like if they come in to see me around lunch time I know they asking me what I want to eat. Other example they looking round and in rush usually means looking for keys or mobile.
 
rebeccalj said:
It makes sense that we cope because we are so visual. Even if we don't know ASL fluently we still read lips, facial expressions and body language.

Hearies don't understand just how much we rely on visual to communicate along with sign.
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Heck, most hearies don't even realize how much they rely on non-verbal signals for understanding. If they did, they would understand how the deaf rely on it so much more, and why it is so needed in their environment.
 
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