Arranged Marriage

Leo_Mary

Leo_Mary

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What do you think of arranging marriage?

To those who don't know what is arranged marriage (My friends don't know what it is) - It's when the person select their bride or groom to marry, it usually happens in Asia. It's not a forced marriage, you can call off the marriage if something bad happened or you don't feel comfort about doing it. It can be someone you love or you hate (This one is a force marriage). Some people doesn't love someone but want to try the experience, some got married because their parent ordered them to (This usually happen to teenagers in ASIA- It can be a forced marriage or arranged marriage).

I am just curious because I have been doing some research and found it as a interesting topic to discuss about.
 
Leo_Mary said:
What do you think of arranging marriage?

To those who don't know what is arranged marriage (My friends don't know what it is) - It's when the person select their bride or groom to marry, it usually happens in Asia. It's not a forced marriage, you can call off the marriage if something bad happened or you don't feel comfort about doing it. It can be someone you love or you hate (This one is a force marriage). Some people doesn't love someone but want to try the experience, some got married because their parent ordered them to (This usually happen to teenagers in ASIA- It can be a forced marriage or arranged marriage).

I am just curious because I have been doing some research and found it as a interesting topic to discuss about.
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To clarify, and arranged marriage is when the parents of a male child arrange with the parent's of a female child (or vise versa) that their children will marry each other. It's typically done when the children are still very young (often infants).

Arranged marriages occur all over the world and are more tied to culture and religion than physical location.
 
I personally dont support it for myself or for my immediate family. However, for other cultures, I cant judge on what they value so if they believe in arranged marriages, it is their lives, not mine. Just as long as it is not to "sell" children.
 
shel90 said:
I personally dont support it for myself or for my immediate family. However, for other cultures, I cant judge on what they value so if they believe in arranged marriages, it is their lives, not mine. Just as long as it is not to "sell" children.
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mmmm yeah, you have a good point there. I think arranged marriage isn't wrong but I am against the forced marriage.
 
They can't be any more miserable than most marriages in the United States, so.... :dunno:
 
my peruvian grandmother did while she was 16 with my irish grandpa who was 19...
 
Leo_Mary said:
What do you think of arranging marriage?

To those who don't know what is arranged marriage (My friends don't know what it is) - It's when the person select their bride or groom to marry, it usually happens in Asia. It's not a forced marriage, you can call off the marriage if something bad happened or you don't feel comfort about doing it. It can be someone you love or you hate (This one is a force marriage). Some people doesn't love someone but want to try the experience, some got married because their parent ordered them to (This usually happen to teenagers in ASIA- It can be a forced marriage or arranged marriage).

I am just curious because I have been doing some research and found it as a interesting topic to discuss about.
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Uh, not so fast. I was in an arranged first marriage and the only condition was that I didn't back out and I didn't go to law school. When I left the loser, not three years later, my parents disowned me anyhow. I'm a white Viking. My parents were Orthadox Mormon.
 
rebeccalj said:
Uh, not so fast. I was in an arranged first marriage and the only condition was that I didn't back out and I didn't go to law school. When I left the loser, not three years later, my parents disowned me anyhow. I'm a white Viking. My parents were Orthadox Mormon.
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:eek3: Oh well, at least this one is legible.
 
rebeccalj said:
Uh, not so fast. I was in an arranged first marriage and the only condition was that I didn't back out and I didn't go to law school. When I left the loser, not three years later, my parents disowned me anyhow. I'm a white Viking. My parents were Orthadox Mormon.
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Eh?
 
Leo_Mary said:
What do you think of arranging marriage?

To those who don't know what is arranged marriage (My friends don't know what it is) - It's when the person select their bride or groom to marry, it usually happens in Asia. It's not a forced marriage, you can call off the marriage if something bad happened or you don't feel comfort about doing it. It can be someone you love or you hate (This one is a force marriage). Some people doesn't love someone but want to try the experience, some got married because their parent ordered them to (This usually happen to teenagers in ASIA- It can be a forced marriage or arranged marriage).

I am just curious because I have been doing some research and found it as a interesting topic to discuss about.
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I have a very good friend who is originally from the Middle East who has an arranged marraige. Her marraige is no doubt stronger than many I see that are based on "love". She and her husband both are very dedicated to each other and their family. They never encountered the unreasonable expectations that so many Westerners have about marraige, and therefore, have no cause for disappointment when marraige does not turn out to be a fairy tale.

They celebrated their 20th anniversary last month. I rarely see such a happy and well adjusted couple.

The success or failure of any marraige, arranged or otherwise, is dependent upon the cultural attitudes of the couple.
 
I have a friend whose parents are trying to do some form of arranged marriage. However, since they moved to America (from India) and my friend was born and grew up here, the parents have a more "relaxed" version. They basically gave her options for suitors.

I have asked my Indian friends what they thought of arranged marriage. Most of them actually don't mind it because their parents actually choose very carefully to ensure their child's happiness. Good parents usually mean good offspring. Those who DO mind would rather just choose for herself but still need (or want?) the parents' approval.

I suspect that here in America, the idea of arranged marriage does not work very well for not so obvious reasons. Society CAN have a tremendous influence on the child, sometimes more than the parents. So even if you have great parents, it is possible that the child may not become a well rounded individual in the long run. It seems like that in India, family is so cherished and so important and that is actually PART of society in India. So most of the influences on a child comes from the parents in Indian culture. So it's "safer" to choose a child to be married to your child based on the qualities of his/her parents alone.

That's just my theory.
 
jillio said:
I have a very good friend who is originally from the Middle East who has an arranged marraige. Her marraige is no doubt stronger than many I see that are based on "love". She and her husband both are very dedicated to each other and their family. They never encountered the unreasonable expectations that so many Westerners have about marraige, and therefore, have no cause for disappointment when marraige does not turn out to be a fairy tale.

They celebrated their 20th anniversary last month. I rarely see such a happy and well adjusted couple.

The success or failure of any marraige, arranged or otherwise, is dependent upon the cultural attitudes of the couple.
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Wow, arranged marriage isn't so bad after all! :)
 
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