Are parents getting the info they need?

[shel90]

What advise would you give parents? What ideas would you give them? What resources would you give them? So if a parent is reading this thread, what do you want them to learn?

Since I joined this forum over a year ago, I started out with giving my advice and providing resources but only to get ridiculed and bashed. Since then, I wont give advice unless they ask me and are really sincere in exploring all options.

 

[vallee]

Since I joined this forum over a year ago, I started out with giving my advice and providing resources but only to get ridiculed and bashed. Since then, I wont give advice unless they ask me and are really sincere in exploring all options.

I am sincere and no I will not ridicule. I really want to hear what advise you would give.

 

[Cheri]

Wow!

We are so full of ourselves? You're the one who's so full of it, Rick. You were not even doing what's best for your daughter, You're actually doing what is best for you and for your whole family, "to hear and to talk". You do not care about it's culture or language, it's shows, because you don't make any comments anywhere else on this forum only cochlear implant sub-forum. It's the truth so how about telling the truth for now on, Rick?

 

[jillio]

I am sincere and no I will not ridicule. I really want to hear what advise you would give.

Perhaps you won't vallee, and I believe that you are sincere. However, we have a troll lurking who will take every opportunity to do just that. Because of that, I think we must respect shel's decision at this time. Perhaps she will elaborate at a future time. But the fact that she is a proponet of BI-BI really answers the question.

 

[Cheri]

Since I joined this forum over a year ago, I started out with giving my advice and providing resources but only to get ridiculed and bashed. Since then, I wont give advice unless they ask me and are really sincere in exploring all options.

Yes, You have gave plenty of advices, resources and even shared your own experiences, so have I. I have highly respect for some hearing parents on this board but not all of them not the ones who have an attitude toward to the deaf.

 

[vallee]

Perhaps you won't vallee, and I believe that you are sincere. However, we have a troll lurking who will take every opportunity to do just that. Because of that, I think we must respect shel's decision at this time. Perhaps she will elaborate at a future time. But the fact that she is a proponet of BI-BI really answers the question.

I can respect if Shel does not want to post. What if a parent came by the site and all they read was the "fighting." What are they learning? If a parent is interested in a CI for thier child, they would most likely start with the hearing aids and CIs.

 

[shel90]

I am sincere and no I will not ridicule. I really want to hear what advise you would give.

I would advise the parents to contact Deaf adults or contact the Deaf schools, ASL programs, TC programs and talk to people who work there not just the oralists or general ed or special ed teachers. Talk to teachers of the deaf who work in BiBi programs and ask them about those programs. Even contacting different Deaf organizations with different philosophies to do research on them.

 

[Bear]

Wow!

We are so full of ourselves? You're the one who's so full of it, Rick. You were not even doing what's best for your daughter, You're actually doing what is best for you and for your whole family, "to hear and to talk". You do not care about it's culture or language, it's shows, because you don't make any comments anywhere else on this forum only cochlear implant sub-forum. It's the truth so how about telling the truth for now on, Rick?

 

[vallee]

I would advise the parents to contact Deaf adults or contact the Deaf schools, ASL programs, TC programs and talk to people who work there not just the oralists or general ed or special ed teachers. Talk to teachers of the deaf who work in BiBi programs and ask them about those programs. Even contacting different Deaf organizations with different philosophies to do research on them.

I would agree with all of that. As a special education teacher, I am limited about what advise I can give a parent. We have a student at school who the parents want him to have CIs. They talked to me about it way back in August. Well to make a long story short, the teacher wants him to move to a hard of hearing classroom and learn more sign. The parents are against it and of course they just refuse services, our HOH class is a bi bi class. The teacher is limited. Finally the doctor told the parents after 4 months of testing and evaluations, that he did not believe CI was the best option(heard from teacher). He told the parents the amount of work involve and that they had too high expectations. They have a lack of effort in learning sign. The child knows 4 signs in 1 1/2 years. This child not only is HOH but also has other major disabilities. The parents just told the teacher and speech teacher that they will just find another doctor.

 

[jillio]

I would advise the parents to contact Deaf adults or contact the Deaf schools, ASL programs, TC programs and talk to people who work there not just the oralists or general ed or special ed teachers. Talk to teachers of the deaf who work in BiBi programs and ask them about those programs. Even contacting different Deaf organizations with different philosophies to do research on them.

 

[jillio]

I can respect if Shel does not want to post. What if a parent came by the site and all they read was the "fighting." What are they learning? If a parent is interested in a CI for thier child, they would most likely start with the hearing aids and CIs.

It is unfortunate, indeed, that the personal insults and attacks cover over pertinent information. I have done what I can to keep out of this thread. Apparently, parents are in need of all of the information. It would appear that the professionals are not providing it according to the OP, and the statements of several parents here.

 

[shel90]

I would agree with all of that. As a special education teacher, I am limited about what advise I can give a parent. We have a student at school who the parents want him to have CIs. They talked to me about it way back in August. Well to make a long story short, the teacher wants him to move to a hard of hearing classroom and learn more sign. The parents are against it and of course they just refuse services, our HOH class is a bi bi class. The teacher is limited. Finally the doctor told the parents after 4 months of testing and evaluations, that he did not believe CI was the best option(heard from teacher). He told the parents the amount of work involve and that they had too high expectations. They have a lack of effort in learning sign. The child knows 4 signs in 1 1/2 years. This child not only is HOH but also has other major disabilities. The parents just told the teacher and speech teacher that they will just find another doctor.

That is very sad and the child is the one who pays the heavy price. Why are people so against Deaf culture and ASL like that?

 

[shel90]

Thank u!

 

[jillio]

I would agree with all of that. As a special education teacher, I am limited about what advise I can give a parent. We have a student at school who the parents want him to have CIs. They talked to me about it way back in August. Well to make a long story short, the teacher wants him to move to a hard of hearing classroom and learn more sign. The parents are against it and of course they just refuse services, our HOH class is a bi bi class. The teacher is limited. Finally the doctor told the parents after 4 months of testing and evaluations, that he did not believe CI was the best option(heard from teacher). He told the parents the amount of work involve and that they had too high expectations. They have a lack of effort in learning sign. The child knows 4 signs in 1 1/2 years. This child not only is HOH but also has other major disabilities. The parents just told the teacher and speech teacher that they will just find another doctor.

This is indeed an ehtical doctor. I admire his stance. This would be a case of parents in extreme denial who should be referred to counseling....my reccomendation would be a therapist specializing in adjustment to disability.

 

[vallee]

That is very sad and the child is the one who pays the heavy price. Why are people so against Deaf culture and ASL like that?

I don't think the parents are against anything. There child has major disabilities and syndrome.( I can't discuss it, but it is lifetime of health issues). These parents just don't want to do the work, they want to fix all the problems and then move on. Put him back together. I was sad to hear about this today. The speech teacher said, I can't give him the skills he needs and it is not fair for him to not get the services he needs. Of course in our meetings we voice our concerns, but we are limited when we are in meetings with parents. It is the real world. So I wonder if more educator and audies and others involve are limited in what they can say or do?

 

[vallee]

This is indeed an ehtical doctor. I admire his stance. This would be a case of parents in extreme denial who should be referred to counseling....my reccomendation would be a therapist specializing in adjustment to disability.

If I recommend that to the parents, they the school system can be charged with the fees. We are limited in what we can say and recommend. The school psy tried to point them in the right direct and the "main man." came down on her.

 

[shel90]

I don't think the parents are against anything. There child has major disabilities and syndrome.( I can't discuss it, but it is lifetime of health issues). These parents just don't want to do the work, they want to fix all the problems and then move on. Put him back together. I was sad to hear about this today. The speech teacher said, I can't give him the skills he needs and it is not fair for him to not get the services he needs. Of course in our meetings we voice our concerns, but we are limited when we are in meetings with parents. It is the real world. So I wonder if more educator and audies and others involve are limited in what they can say or do?

But isnt getting the child implanted going to require a lot of work from them for the child to be successful with it, right?

Yea, we are limited as educators cuz it is the parents who have the power over what educational setting their children should be placed in. That's why we get so more older deaf students referred to our school than the younger ones. The trend is to place them in programs that can make them as normal as possible and many of them end up falling so far behind. I wish I can do more to prevent this problem.

 

[vallee]

But isnt getting the child implanted going to require a lot of work from them for the child to be successful with it, right?

Yea, we are limited as educators cuz it is the parents who have the power over what educational setting their children should be placed in. That's why we get so more older deaf students referred to our school than the younger ones. The trend is to place them in programs that can make them as normal as possible and many of them end up falling so far behind. I wish I can do more to prevent this problem.

The mom and dad talked to me, and because I "sound normal" they believe that their child will too. This was back in August. I told them how much hard work it was. All they saw was I was activated and I sound good. They see that with students with HAs too. That did not make him perfect so why not try CIs.

We have a fantatic hoh teacher and she straight forward. I think the child would benefit with her class. She does have 3 CI students and they all use a BiBi program. They are self contained and inclusion.

Our guidance teacher meet with them too and they don't see a problem.

 

[shel90]

The mom and dad talked to me, and because I "sound normal" they believe that their child will too. This was back in August. I told them how much hard work it was. All they saw was I was activated and I sound good. They see that with students with HAs too. That did not make him perfect so why not try CIs.

We have a fantatic hoh teacher and she straight forward. I think the child would benefit with her class. She does have 3 CI students and they all use a BiBi program. They are self contained and inclusion.

Our guidance teacher meet with them too and they don't see a problem.

I have had that experience of parents using me as their "poster child" of a normal deaf person after they heard my speech skills. That's why I stopped using my oral skills at meetings and just rely heavily on terps. I got tired of the meetings getting turned around to be about my oral skills and how I was able to speak so well and lipread so well. The meetings were about THEIR child not about me.

 

[vallee]

I have had that experience of parents using me as their "poster child" of a normal deaf person after they heard my speech skills. That's why I stopped using my oral skills at meetings and just rely heavily on terps. I got tired of the meetings getting turned around to be about my oral skills and how I was able to speak so well and lipread so well. The meetings were about THEIR child not about me.

The parents who are on the boarderline want to connect with anything that will help them to understand something they don't understand.

On the other hand, Haven't you had parents who have done the research and done the planning? They want what is best for their child. That is as difficult too. I might not agree with it, but I also can't say anything either. And they have very strong views and opinions.