Annoying ignorant hearing people stories

[Secretblend]

I don't like to use excuse me and I can't say word "excuse" anyway so that not option for me. I defo don't want to say sorry. What else is there apart from "What?", that why I use that word more than any other word with hearies. They do sometimes feel I am being rude when I am not.

I have trouble with "excuse" also so I say "pardon me" instead.

 

[DeafRaptor]

I used to say "excuse me" and "pardon me" or "sorry?" until I got fed up with excusing or apologizing or asking pardon for my deafness.

My sister attempted to correct me once when I said "what?" to her and I bristled and asked her why should I apologize or excuse myself as if I did something wrong when I'm working very hard to understand them and communicate with them on their terms and they don't put forth even a fraction of the same effort to communicate with me.

Nice summary of what I meant to say. See, I talk too much.

 

[LDNanna]

I was shopping this weekend and the manager of the store was out front selling baked things for a benefit. She waved me to her and tried to explain what her bake benefit was for (I think?). I pointed to both ears and should my head while smiling. She met me full face to face and carefully mouthed that she too was deaf, that she was deaf in her left ear. I had a bit of hope.... (crash).... she then said "No worries, one day you will be healed and perfect again".... ech.
She told me that because of her deafness that she lost her husband - divorced. I was annoyed. (Imagine that! ha!) I told her that if she was fully deaf then he wouldn't have gotten on her nerves so badly. Dang I am evil.

 

[DeafRaptor]

Oh where do I begin? I'm new here and may get around to the introduction forum, but this thread got my attention first.

When I explain myself the most common response is the joke, "What?" accompanied by laughter.

Doing all the work listening to a person relate a long drawn out joke, only to have the punch line whispered or understated for emphasis. Grrrr.

Explaining myself to every living human being I have contact with. Receiving an absolutely shocked look and refusal to communicate further as if I had insulted them irreparably.

People who say that it is unfair for me to "inflict" myself on the hearing world without presenting the alternative as to where I am supposed to go crawl away and die.

Having high grades in school met with deliberate sabotage and exclusion from study groups.

Working in health care, if I dare to ask a physician to repeat something I did not hear, getting either yelled at for daring "to question" the doctor or subsequently being asked for the "real" person in authority, which unfortunately is still me.

Doing everything in my power to help people, but having them still perceive something isn't quite normal with me, resulting in complaints to the company and loss of jobs for me--even though I go above and beyond requirements and have a superior service record on objective evaluations.

Having had to use a cane for awhile due to a broken knee, and having the general public make way, give concerned attention and patience for the visible need of accommodation--what a change from getting kicked in the teeth for "acting stupid" because deafness is invisible therefore "ok" to persecute at every communication juncture.

People who refuse to work for or under a hard of hearing person. And all the advice the hearies give you about how you just aren't stepping up to the management task due to some incomprehensible lack of character that is indefinable and therefore uncorrectable.

Having school lighting motion sonic detectors turn off my hearing aids and having the hearing aid manufacturer refuse to acknowledge the problem because "our clientele is older and they don't try to go to school."

Finding a balance of emphasizing the need for accommodation without presenting yourself as a danger to the public if you occupy a critical profession.

People, especially those in power, who are so insecure that they are compelled to tease or torture me just to make themselves feel better about themselves.

When working intensive retail and taking phones, communication takes a great deal of concentration and takes a heavy toll on health and peace of mind. When I do get a lunch break, if I get a lunch break, having the inability to get away from people who want to engage me in continued conversation so I cannot concentrate on my meal or get a mental break from work strain. Having this be considered unfriendly and rude.

I could go on and on, but this is it for now. Thanks for the forum to vent.

First off, and welcome to AllDeaf. The following was my reaction to the hearing people in your post: and the following was how I calmed down: :rl: (on Xbox 360 ). Sorry to hear that you have had to deal with that. I have had my share of annoying ignorant hearing people, especially when it comes to my hearing/mobility service dog, but I don't think I've seen anything as discriminatory and hateful as some of the people you seem to deal with day in/day out. I could probably go into great detail on each of your stories, but I'd probably become again.

BTW, those lighting motion sonic detectors are in work environments too, so it seems like the manufacturers only care about the elderly who are not in school and are retired. :roll:

Hope to see more posts from you.

 

[stormpraiser91]

One thing I really don't like from hearies is: "You must be really smart to talk!". As if intelligence got do with speech, there plenty dumb people out there can speak and plenty intelligent people out there cannot use speech. Once I told them speech is NOTHING do with intelligence and they refused to believe it.

true-business!

 

[SilentRider]

One thing that annoys me is... When I try to communicate they feel its ok to just ignore me and walk away.. but if I do it I'm considered rude.. oh wait I forgot we deafies don't have anything important to say.

 

[SilentRider]

I find it annoying when trying to communicate with someone and they just ignore and walk away.. but if i did that, I'd be considered rude or an a-hole.. oh wait iforgot we deafies never have anything important to say...

 

[KristinaB]

I am running into a situation as is my son. Hubby is the main one to do this. Hubby will ask a question for information, and when we are in the middle of answering, he will leave the room. He'll come back 30 minutes or so later and ask the question again. Son will try to answer it again, but I will have already written down the answer. Hubby's been doing this for years and I haven't been able to break this habit. His parents always did it as well.

 

[deafskeptic]

One thing that annoys me is... When I try to communicate they feel its ok to just ignore me and walk away.. but if I do it I'm considered rude.. oh wait I forgot we deafies don't have anything important to say.

That one pisses me off big time.

 

[Journey]

I understand this thread is for deafies' stories, not hearies but I confess this story is about a stupid annoying hearie .. me.

Quite a few years ago, a deaf friend of mine invited me to a Christmas party at her house. It would be all deafies. I only knew very basic signs and fingerspelled slower than a turtle but the party sounded like fun so I went. I met many new people and they were all very welcoming and patient with me and my poor ASL. The night went on and after about 3 hours trying my best to understand and be understood by this large deaf group, my brain started to run out of energy. My signing got worse, my fingerspelling was a mess and the deafies hands seemed to go faster and faster. One young man came up to me and signed, "This year good for S-A-T-A-N you?".
Me: "Sorry missed that, fingerspell again please."
Him <slower>: "S-A-T-A-N"

Well now I am thinking, is he asking me about Satan because I have red hair? Why is he talking about Satan?? So I look at him all confused again.

Him <signing even slower>: "This year good for S-A-T-A-N you?"
Me: "Sorry, not understand"
By this time, he is fed up with trying to communicate with the stupid hearie woman and walks off. (I couldn't blame him, my brain was not working anymore and even I had lost patience with myself haha)

A little later I happen to see this same guy asking another one of his friends, "This year good for S-A-N-T-A you?"
Yup, Duh me! He wasn't spelling Satan, he was spelling Santa all that time. I was so tired from trying to understand all the ASL around me that I kept mixing up the letters in my own head!

Hearies that can't read fingerspelling properly are annoying! lol

 

[AlleyCat]

thanks for sharing. My SO has shared similar stuff to that.

 

[sallylou]

Wirelessly posted (droid)

Kristina, is your husband having short term memory issues? I am and it causes me to do that. It may be, in part, due to cranial neuropathy or the low dose chemotherapy. It's driving me crazy! My family members are kind about it. I just get frustrated.

 

[KristinaB]

Wirelessly posted (droid)

Kristina, is your husband having short term memory issues? I am and it causes me to do that. It may be, in part, due to cranial neuropathy or the low dose chemotherapy. It's driving me crazy! My family members are kind about it. I just get frustrated.

Hubby was born with brain damage due to medication his mother took during pregnancy. He has long term and short term memory issues. He has problems reading and learning. Give him something repetitive and he can handle it. He has to take the written part of his driver's test as a verbal test. These issues of his are a main struggle between us, but I can handle them and I think it is mostly what prepared me for my daughter's issues.

 

[sallylou]

Wirelessly posted (droid)

I understand. It can be a challenge to communicate and patience is everything.

 

[sabachtani]

Wall-of-text incoming:

My brother-in-law, who is usually a good guy, was talking with me a while ago. He has facial hair and he speaks low, so it's always a struggle to make out what he is saying (I'm not deaf, just hoh by the way). I like to talk with him, but it's frustrating.

Well, he's never said anything about it before this one time but he finally shows how annoyed he is after I ask him "sorry what was that?" for umpteenth time and he yells "what?" to make fun of me, then he just says "nevermind".... that hurt so bad. I try to convey to him to speak louder, clearer, and face me, but I guess I'm not direct enough because he never does. I feel too weird just outright laying down rules about how he needs to talk.

I grew up with no one knowing I was hoh, even I thought I was just dumb. My family and friends all treated me like I was stupid, and there was no money to send me to a doctor to get tests, and my schooling was in a podunk town, so they didn't have resources to help me, and they never considered I might have been hoh anyway, afaik.

There were a lot of bad memories from growing up because of it... and that one little incident brought all that back in one moment. I usually have a thicker skin, but I have never felt motivated to really talk with my BIL again after that. Maybe I'm overreacting, but it was a big deal to me at the time.

Sorry I know this isn't the sad sack thread, but I don't have any funny stories.

 

[queenravenclaw]

I can honestly relate to the first post. My worker this past summer told me I should put a sign on my door to let people know that I'm deaf and to knock super loud. Problem solved an alarm that will wake me if someone is at the door coming soon. Or my granma asked my mom once if we sleep with our hearing aids on. that would take up battery. Or my dad yelling at me saying i don't need a hearing aid because i heard him loud and clear when i was walking to fast. He was yelling so of course i could hear that without a hearing aid.

I usually just lipread if im not wearing my hearing aids if they need to be fixed or cleaned. But I've had alot of experience with lipreading. I've been doing it for a long time even when I didn't have hearing aids. Or if I'm mad I try to sign as best as I can.

 

[DeafRaptor]

Wall-of-text incoming:
...
Sorry I know this isn't the sad sack thread, but I don't have any funny stories.

Ditto (to wall-of-text):

Sorry to hear about your BIL. I am having a similar situation with my twin sister right now, but I'll include that story below. First, don't worry about it not being a funny story. The thread is called "Annoying ignorant hearing people stories" after all.

Now about my sister: it was only two or so months ago that I decided to stop wearing hearing aids or using voice and instead use ASL and my sister supported my decision. However, from time to time she forgets that she cannot just talk when something pops in her head, but rather she needs to get my attention (if she doesn't have it) and sign with me. On one or two occasions, I have tried to correct her and she has gotten very indignant, almost blown up about it.

Please keep in mind that she has been one of the most supportive people in my life and is trying to learn sign language with me. I have asked her nicely if she would rather that I go back to wearing hearing aids and using voice, but she is adamant about supporting my decision. Also know that she has some problems that have gotten 1,000 times worse over the last 14 years and she knows she needs help (I'll let her join AD and tell that story if she wants). Due to her frustrations with her problems, she sometimes gets ticked off at the slightest thing to distract her. One of the problems is that she has been unemployed for the last three years due to the economy (she has absolutely nothing right now and has tried non-stop to get a job), so I am supporting her right now and offered to pay for the help she needs and craves.

 

[Protoman2050]

I tell hearing people when I dont understand them "I am lost...u are NOT meeting my communication NEEDS! "


JK...


I dont apologize anymore. In those days when I used to apologize, I would always feel bad about myself like I did something bad. No more...it is all about empowering myself.

I've long stopped apologizing for my dysphonia. If they're not taking the effort to understand me or to get me a pen and paper (my notebook is often out of easy reach), why should I take the effort to make it easy for them. I detest having to repeat myself a billion times to get something done.

Though there is a bright side: a few days ago, I was at the bar with my mates, struggling to order a double rum and Coke. I was becomeing exasperated when some nice chap behind me offered to order and pay for it on my behalf. We had a great conversation afterwards, and he wished me good luck when I go see the laryngologist sometime in the next few weeks.

 

[abarger]

I have to say I'm glad I joined this forum. I would never treat someone deaf ridiculously like these people ya'll talk about. I would at least grab some paper before saying nevermind. I guess I never realized before now that there is such tension between the hearing and the deaf, but rightfully so if I had to deal with that kind of crap alot. I am hearing and want to learn as much as possible about deaf culture. Thanks for the insight.

 

[Lily7]

Oh man, I am so glad I found this thread. I feel a lot better about some of the experiences I've had.

I TOTALLY agree with the "Nevermind" stuff. OMG. Few things piss me off as much as someone saying something to me and then when I asked them to repeat it, they say "Nevermind" or shake their heads. RAGE RAGE RAGE.

I also saw someone else mention that when in a group of people, they get ignored if they say something as if they aren't even there. I get that a lot too! I don't understand why. Sometimes I wonder if they DO hear me talking but intentionally pretend not to just so they can get out of the extra effort it would take to communicate with me.

Some of my stories:

Back when I was a Christian (not anymore, long story, not going into it here) and got baptized, a fellow church member offered to interpret for me. This person really did not know sign language like they thought they did - I mean I am not fluent but I know enough to know they were really bad at it... anyway I appreciated the gesture so I said "sure" not wanting to embarrass them otherwise. I was the only deaf person in the whole church and no deaf person had ever attended before me, so I was understanding that they did not quite understand about all that, ya know?

So it's time for me to get dunked, and I go up to the baptismal pool behind the stage. The person who offered to sign is nowhere to be seen. I am hoping that she had forgotten and start to get relieved if so. I make my way into the water, and when I look out to the audience... she is on stage in front of the baptismal pool, with her back turned to me, "interpreting" the pastor's words to the audience.

Another story:

I had a hearing dog for a number of years. She has since passed away and I passed on a successor for the time being. Anyway, of course I get all the typical troubles involved with being partnered with a service dog, but one incident in particular stands out in my mind. I was at walmart, and had just walked in the door with my dog. The greeter waves me over frantically, which I half expected. I walk over to the greeter, ready to do my usual speech of "yes she is a service dog"... only the greeter asked me "are you blind?"... after I walked over because she WAVED me over. Really?!