Annoying ignorant hearing people stories

RachelRene said:
Does anybody else get the stream of hearing people who claim they totally get it because they can't hear conversations in the middle of concerts or noisy restaurants?

It seems like every time I tell a hearing person that I'm HOH (one of these days, I'll claim the deaf label), they are suddenly hoh too. Oh, no, they had their hearing tested and it came back perfect, but maybe they should get it checked again, or maybe they have a processing disorder because they can't hear in the clubs. *facepalm*

I shook it off the first couple of times as it being the way people try to identify with you, show they are understanding... but now it just pisses me off. I'm trying to tell someone that I need them to do things like look at me when they're speaking to me, and suddenly we're talking about their non-existent hearing loss. Or telling me how they completely get it, when THEY can pick up a phone and just call someone, they can follow a conversation in a group, they aren't having to struggle to read someone's lips just to catch a glimpse of what the person is saying.

One of my friends does this constantly. Not only to me, but if she is introducing me to other people. Maybe I just have a bad attitude today, but it drives me crazy.
Click to expand...

I think that's just hearies trying to be nice. We really don't understand what it is to be Deaf, but some people are trying to say they can relate. Granted, at super loud events I can't understand what people are saying unless I look at them, and I think most hearies believe that that gives us an idea of what it's like. It's a glimpse at its absolute best. So much of hearing culture is tiptoeing around other peoples' feelings, trying to find what you have in common and make people feel included, that they lose sight of the fact that there are some things you just can't understand unless you've been through it. I'm sorry that people can't get that it's just not the same.
 
StevieMont927 said:
I think that's just hearies trying to be nice. We really don't understand what it is to be Deaf, but some people are trying to say they can relate. Granted, at super loud events I can't understand what people are saying unless I look at them, and I think most hearies believe that that gives us an idea of what it's like. It's a glimpse at its absolute best. So much of hearing culture is tiptoeing around other peoples' feelings, trying to find what you have in common and make people feel included, that they lose sight of the fact that there are some things you just can't understand unless you've been through it. I'm sorry that people can't get that it's just not the same.
Click to expand...

I think you're right... I don't think the hearing people who've said this are trying to be disrespectful, or dismissive, although sometimes it comes across that way. It's trying to find common ground, when really I just need them to go "Oh, okay, you need me to look at you when I'm talking to you."
 
rebeccalj said:
Good grief. You are *talking* to them and they ask that? Maybe when you are born hearie you are not given comprehension skills because of it? :giggle:

No offense to our respected hearies. You know who you are.:kiss:

It drive me crazy when hearies say BS comment like that!! What the heck do you think I'm *DOING* right now!!???!!!
Click to expand...

I wonder if they went home later, thought about that conversation, and had a lightbulb "wow, that was a stupid thing to say" moment. :giggle:
 
RachelRene said:
I wonder if they went home later, thought about that conversation, and had a lightbulb "wow, that was a stupid thing to say" moment. :giggle:
Click to expand...

Probably! And if they didn't they weren't worth a second thought anyway ;-)
 
rebeccalj said:
Good grief. You are *talking* to them and they ask that? Maybe when you are born hearie you are not given comprehension skills because of it? :giggle:

No offense to our respected hearies. You know who you are.:kiss:

It drive me crazy when hearies say BS comment like that!! What the heck do you think I'm *DOING* right now!!???!!!
Click to expand...

I have no idea... I've had to deal with that since I was little... I remember teachers telling my mom I was mentally handicapped because I couldn't sound out words, or anything of the sort, and I talked "funny" like the kids with downs did... when I saw my 2nd grade teacher tell my mom I was "challenged" I kept asking her... what did you say... what... and then she said "see"... and they all knew I couldn't really hear them. It wasn't until 3rd grade when I got my first HA's (paid for by the state) that my IEP said I would see the TOD 1x a week... I fell so far behind in school... that they talked about holding me back again in 2nd grade, because I wasn't learning like they would like me to... I find it rediculous that NO one (that I know of) talked to my parents or even suggested sending me to a Deaf School... they did try to get my parents to use sign with me... but their precious doctors told them it would be bad for me.

I get asked at work all the time, why do you sound funny? or where are you from? I was born 60 miles from where I work... and they all seem to think I'm either really stupid, have a speech impediment or I was born out of the country (though they can't pin down where)...

that bothers me too... "are you sure you weren't born somewhere else?" yes because my Deafness has made me so stupid that I don't even know where I am from... the joys of living in a hearing world I guess...
 
RachelRene said:
Does anybody else get the stream of hearing people who claim they totally get it because they can't hear conversations in the middle of concerts or noisy restaurants?

It seems like every time I tell a hearing person that I'm HOH (one of these days, I'll claim the deaf label), they are suddenly hoh too. Oh, no, they had their hearing tested and it came back perfect, but maybe they should get it checked again, or maybe they have a processing disorder because they can't hear in the clubs. *facepalm*

I shook it off the first couple of times as it being the way people try to identify with you, show they are understanding... but now it just pisses me off. I'm trying to tell someone that I need them to do things like look at me when they're speaking to me, and suddenly we're talking about their non-existent hearing loss. Or telling me how they completely get it, when THEY can pick up a phone and just call someone, they can follow a conversation in a group, they aren't having to struggle to read someone's lips just to catch a glimpse of what the person is saying.

One of my friends does this constantly. Not only to me, but if she is introducing me to other people. Maybe I just have a bad attitude today, but it drives me crazy.
Click to expand...

I get that from my own family. I hate it as much as you do. :mad:
 
What bugs me is hearing people saying that because of "Children of a Lesser God", they now know what it's like to be deaf because they can't hear anything when they swim underwater.

Pfft.

I made one hearing person wear ear plugs at a small get together (he joined us after a swim at the YMCA) and he took them out after 15 minutes because he was getting so irritated trying to understand what people were saying to him. Then I said "ah hah! see!" and his response was "well, I can't lipread like you so it's not the same."

But of course....
 
RachelRene said:
Does anybody else get the stream of hearing people who claim they totally get it because they can't hear conversations in the middle of concerts or noisy restaurants?

It seems like every time I tell a hearing person that I'm HOH (one of these days, I'll claim the deaf label), they are suddenly hoh too. Oh, no, they had their hearing tested and it came back perfect, but maybe they should get it checked again, or maybe they have a processing disorder because they can't hear in the clubs. *facepalm*

I shook it off the first couple of times as it being the way people try to identify with you, show they are understanding... but now it just pisses me off. I'm trying to tell someone that I need them to do things like look at me when they're speaking to me, and suddenly we're talking about their non-existent hearing loss. Or telling me how they completely get it, when THEY can pick up a phone and just call someone, they can follow a conversation in a group, they aren't having to struggle to read someone's lips just to catch a glimpse of what the person is saying.

One of my friends does this constantly. Not only to me, but if she is introducing me to other people. Maybe I just have a bad attitude today, but it drives me crazy.
Click to expand...

They are trying to be emapthetic, I suppose, but what they are really being is patronizing and they are minimizing the impact of deafness on the individual.
 
DeafCaroline said:
What bugs me is hearing people saying that because of "Children of a Lesser God", they now know what it's like to be deaf because they can't hear anything when they swim underwater.

Pfft.

I made one hearing person wear ear plugs at a small get together (he joined us after a swim at the YMCA) and he took them out after 15 minutes because he was getting so irritated trying to understand what people were saying to him. Then I said "ah hah! see!" and his response was "well, I can't lipread like you so it's not the same."

But of course....
Click to expand...

Am I the only hearing person alive that is willing to say that I have no idea what it is like to be deaf?:dunno:
 
jillio said:
Am I the only hearing person alive that is willing to say that I have no idea what it is like to be deaf?:dunno:
Click to expand...

One of verrrrrrrry few. All hearies I know "know exactly what is like" because once they fly airplane ears don't pop three hours after! Or once have head cold very bad, ears plug up. So they know.
 
jillio said:
Am I the only hearing person alive that is willing to say that I have no idea what it is like to be deaf?:dunno:
Click to expand...

seems like you are one of the few... most people i've seen say that they know what its like when they have ear plugs in... they don't realize that its not the same... (or at least I don't think it is, if someone who is late deaf could tell me... is it?).

I can easily say I have no idea what its like to be hearing... and if it is anything like when wearing HA's... I don't understand how hearing people can do it... how they can deal with all the noise.
 
Right! I'm not hearing, so I have no idea. I imagine it very tiring, overwhelming. Like go inside room full disco balls, flashing lights, circus acts, fireworks...only in ears. Too much going on. No thank you.
 
I remember when my father started losing a bit of his hearing presumably due to old age, he got so cranky with everyone and I couldn't help but tease him about it. In high school, he was always asking me why I get so grumpy sometimes and I would tell him it's because it gets so tiresome of always trying to understand what people are saying, especially at the dinner table and I'm grumpy when I'm really fatigued of communicating with hearing people and he would always tell me to get over it or try to have a better attitude.

Anyway, he didn't respond to my teasing very well. But I think he got my point. Secretly, I was glad he lost some of his hearing because it gave him the ability to be empathetic in a way that he never could for 38 years.
 
oh and another couple things...
1. do NOT throw something at me to get my attention... this will normally end with you getting a black eye or something being thrown back at you...

2. my ear being closer to you... doesn't mean that I understand you better... if you want me to understand you better... sign to me!
 
jillio said:
Am I the only hearing person alive that is willing to say that I have no idea what it is like to be deaf?:dunno:
Click to expand...

You're not alone. I don't have a single clue what it's like. Unless I go deaf, I never will.

ADDED: Even then, I won't know what it's like growing up deaf.
 
sunny_signs said:
Right! I'm not hearing, so I have no idea. I imagine it very tiring, overwhelming. Like go inside room full disco balls, flashing lights, circus acts, fireworks...only in ears. Too much going on. No thank you.
Click to expand...

And I imagine I'd be unnerved by the quiet. When you grow up hearing, you naturally filter things out. For instance, right now I can hear the water on the stove coming to a boil, the fire under it, my friend playing Playstation, her son, a helicopter, the crinkling of snack wrappers, my hands on the keyboard, bugs outside, voices of kids playing in the park, cars going by, the overhead fan, my dogs moving around and panting...yet, the only things my mind actually takes note of are the things I'm listening for, and as none of those sounds are loud, it's a quiet, peaceful afternoon for me.

It only gets overwhelming for me when I'm in a crowded, noisy area, or a place where I need to be listening/looking out for things, or taking in a lot of audio information in a short period of time. I get more fatigued when I'm trying to listen to a different language that I don't speak fluently (like when I was in France, I didn't talk to many people but I got stressed easily). I can't think of another situation right now that tires me out through the sheer level of noise.

I also just realized exactly how much audio input I get at any given time.....
 
jillio said:
Am I the only hearing person alive that is willing to say that I have no idea what it is like to be deaf?:dunno:
Click to expand...

I think more people who are hearing but related to deaf are like you. My stepmother never said she thought she knew, but last week she did say it was much different than she had imagined.

She has lost most hearing due to age.
 
Back
Top