Advice please: son doesn't want to wear HAs

rivenoak said:
We have OtoEase. Usually just need it when molds are new, but maybe we need to use more. Oto-Ease® Earpiece Lubricant - Bottle | Westone

I just thought of something. The part that goes into the ear canal on these ear molds is shorter than before. They might be touching him in a way that is painful. God, I feel awful. :(

I still have the previous molds, which were a decent fit, he just wanted a new color. I will try the old one on the left HA & see if he can tell me which one feels better to him.
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Does your son have stuff animal that he. still likes, what if made a HA for the toy to wear, or put a sticker of his favorite super hero on the HA and say he has super power ears. I am just thinking up ideas .
 
deafdyke said:
I would definitly look into a Deaf School/program placement ASAP. It might not seem bad now, but trust me, it will get worse!
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And I don't take lightly how many people point out how much worse it can get and why.

I'm still learning how to navigate all of this, and not sure who to ask and what to ask them. I was frustrated when I called ASDB just to ask a few questions and was basically told, "Your school district will know if we're an appropriate placement."

I thought that maybe ASDB could help educate me. Perhaps they can't. Perhaps I have to figure it out on my own in a fight with the district. If that were the case, I wish the lady had just said so.
 
rivenoak said:
And I don't take lightly how many people point out how much worse it can get and why.

I'm still learning how to navigate all of this, and not sure who to ask and what to ask them. I was frustrated when I called ASDB just to ask a few questions and was basically told, "Your school district will know if we're an appropriate placement."

I thought that maybe ASDB could help educate me. Perhaps they can't. Perhaps I have to figure it out on my own in a fight with the district. If that were the case, I wish the lady had just said so.
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There are still some State residential schools for the deaf that are not allowed to market themselves; that is changing in some quarters....
 
when I did speech in school, it was during a time when I would normally be at the deaf school (deaf school was connected to public elementary school, and speech therapy was in the public school building) for 15 minutes twice a week, I never had to miss recess. Surely the school could find a different time that will work for your son so he doesn't have to miss recess.
 
Tousi said:
There are still some State residential schools for the deaf that are not allowed to market themselves; that is changing in some quarters....
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posts from hell said:
Finally Colorado is allowed to.
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Oh.
Well, that could certainly explain it.

Was that true for some state day schools as well?

(ASDB has the Phoenix Day School for the Deaf, which is closer to us than the ASDB residential school in Tucson. I actually called PDSD to try to ask questions.)
 
whatdidyousay! said:
Does your son have stuff animal that he. still likes, what if made a HA for the toy to wear, or put a sticker of his favorite super hero on the HA and say he has super power ears. I am just thinking up ideas .
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He had the oticon otter with HAs, but that was never one of his favorites.

He still sleeps with a bed full of what he calls his "guys." It's so cute. :giggle:

He likes SpiderMan, penguins, bears, monkeys, and sharks. "Beary" and "Monkey" are the main men and always have been.

Is it ok to call it super power ears?
 
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Parenting is such a hard job. You want a child to have as many opportunities as possible but at some point the child developmently needs more independence. It's a balancing act. Constant baby steps to independence.

A wise person told me that kids aren't trained monkeys. When you get to the point that the child feels like you're making him a trained monkey it's time to stop. I remember feeling like that as a kid in various situations. My parents didn't have a clue about child development and they did son real damage. Fortunately, I've been resilient.
 
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Wirelessly posted (droid)

Oops. Sorry.
 
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rivenoak said:
I hope you don't think we are forcing him through pain. If anything, we are very lax, I hope. I don't want to be one of "those" parents. :(



He sometimes hears "well" without them. In some situations, a person might not know he is HOH. In many other situations, it is more evident that he is not Hearing.

I think I posted his audiogram on another thread; I don't have it at hand. As of late Spring 2011, when we finally got the range of tests done in one fell swoop, there was no decrease in hearing. Possibly a slight increase due to new tubes having been put in.

He has less loss on the right; this is the side he doesn't like to wear. However, if he's not wearing the left one due to an infection, he will wear the right one.



If he only wants to wear one, I'm ok with that. We can change the IEP if the school has a problem with it being his choice.

I wish he would try the FM to see if it helps him hear his teacher. Last year in preschool, one of his classmates had more of a broadcast FM system, but my son has the direct teacher to boot kind. We won't know if he can benefit from it unless he'll wear a boot.



:ty:
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Maybe since he has a mixed loss with fluctuating hearing, you could be more lenient on times when he is hearing better, and let him have more choice on when and if he needs the aids.
 
rivenoak said:
He had the oticon otter with HAs, but that was never one of his favorites.

He still sleeps with a bed full of what he calls his "guys." It's so cute. :giggle:

He likes SpiderMan, penguins, bears, monkeys, and sharks. "Beary" and "Monkey" are the main men and always have been.

Is it ok to call it super power ears?
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yeah that sounded cool "superpower ears"! I might look into SP if my loss continues to degenerate :D
the Oticon otter sounds cute! I had a comic book that came with my new hearing aids.
 
Maybe you could glue little hearing aids on his favorite action figure? That would be cute. :giggle:
 
Frisky Feline said:
I grew up wearing two hearing aids until I got older. I didn't realize or didnt pay attention as to why I often get my mind tiring. I realize that two hearing aids that is too much for me. then I decide to wear one hearing aid. Like everyone says. But it's ok for anyone who likes to wear two hearing aids, some one hearing aid.
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thats the same for me too
 
FM system probably only works if he/she is a HOH in a higher range, close to 'deafen hearing' or rather 'tired hearing', so other than that , FM is a waste of time, it doesnt really rely on lipreading due to the distance of the speaker, and to me its cheating i mean the teachers should really come up to student deafs , do a one over explain whats required of the student, in other words FM is forcing d/Deaf student to racing the pace as the same as the hearing students in classes, its not on, its cruel.
thats my opinion
 
i used to use FM but it always broke and it drain the batteries so fast its not funny.and its a real hassle. forget it
 
Is he happy being oral? If he is* I would say ''ok its choice wheather to wear aids or not but if dont you have to speechread or lipread'' talk to his TOD about CART

*If he not go back to ASL
 
rivenoak said:
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns.

I could have chosen my words differently. I probably still won't choose them correctly now.

He speaks English now (as opposed to German which both DH & I know and could have taught him, but we don't speak it on any kind of a regular basis) because as he grew older that seemed to be his preference. I don't see it as a victory.

Sometimes, I think it would be "easier" to make some of these decisions if he had no residual hearing or if speech hadn't come easily for him. I feel caught between a couple of worlds, who have differering on opinions on what's right for this HOH child. And oddly enough, the pro-ASL stance here isn't what I've experienced in my small real world interactions with d/hh.

It is very confusing for this hearing parent to sort it all out. I'm trying. And I hope that one day when my son looks back, he will see that for the mistakes I made, I didn't make them out of malice and always tried to learn and go forward, and that he will forgive me.
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I think if you read some threads about some of the older Deaf posters, and their experience as child, you will understand better that you don't want to look forward to him forgiving you in the future.

Why not let him be deaf? Why focus on English and speech therapy and bribing him to use HA? That just seem *SO* sad to me. This forum is covered with posts that explain how much they hated speech therapy. Why is it so important to speak like a hearie? I have an odd accent but who cares?

As for 'pro-ASL' it's likely because the people that you are dealing with in terms of your son deafness are a bunch of audist yahoos.
 
Beowulf said:
I grew up with hearing aids and often hated them. It took me a long time to figure out it was because I wore them for the benefit of others, because I felt I needed to hear them. Today I do not need to hear anyone to feel happy inside, and most of the time I do not wear hearing aids. Today I had an interview and did fine without them.
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I hope you get job.

When I first hear rain pitter patter and bird chirp chirping I thought it was amazing but life was too loud for me so I rarely use mine anymore. I find them uncomfortable and make my ears itch. Like you say, don't need them to feel happy inside.
 
rivenoak said:
He might be. It's not a topic we've managed to sort out. I'm not sure how to approach it with him and not have him give me the answers he thinks I want.

Any suggestions are welcome.
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Well, since you are doing pretty much the same thing my own parents did to me I would tell my parents:

1) Don't take my first language away from me.
2) Stop trying to make me a hearie.
3) I'm okay being deaf, why aren't you okay with it?
4) Accept me for who I am instead of what I'm not.
5) Stop trying to 'fix' me because you're going to ruin my sense of self and my confidence.

Ask him if he fine not hearing properly. Ask him if life too loud for him.
 
your boy might be deaf but also have a Deaf personality, dont push it out or he'd start having mistrusting feelings, if not now, it will likely to develop later on in life, and that bitterness from him is just isnt worth it, like say if he got well -educated but the society remains disabling, then how are you going to answer "i tried my best' when in fact you decided that he should be hearing...its painful, let him be let him be. He, like most d/Deaf arent stupid we KNOW we got cheated...dont let this happen.
You see, having a deaf child is not like 'oh my child is deaf but society is hearing, we'd try fit him in, it doesnt work like that, its more like -dare i say- you have to be on his sde to show him how society needs to fit to him, hate to say you got more than you bargained for, and so does he. in so saying, ypu need to support him from the way we, d/Deaf people can share and give you ideas and support to go through this Just because "Experts" like doctors, TODs are paid, employed and waves the badge with big words like Audiologist, therapist, etc doesnt mean much to d/Deaf people in fact, most of us would consider them as the enemy against our rights to life. We aren't Born to be your clever parrots with broken ears, we got feelings too, and listen to your boy too, he is telling you something, now its probably not so clear because at his age, he doesnt have the vocabulary or the maturity to tell you whats he's thinking or feeling, so try be mindful of that OK, those 'experts' assumes they know what you boy wants - BULLSHIT - even if this means he wants to play with hearing children in the playground, its nothing to do with deafness, just basic instinch that he wants to play, BUT now when you think about Deaf children playing together ' they might talk rubbish amongst each other (so do hearing kids- except Maybe with more 'accuracy' of understanding the world in 'game-play' that is only because of home life, dinner table talks.... dont imagine for a second that a child with hearing aids is going to have this same oppurtunity - we never did, - if you look around in All Deaf you'd seen ALOT of US had the same experience regardless of the wide range 'hearing loss' , they story remains the same. Again this is you have to consider - homelife, schoollife, his feelings, learning pace,the stress involved...
just something to ponder on.
Hope you come away with more thoughts on what you are doing if you forcing him to use HA, and/or denying the use of ASL...do both NOW, but communicate with him thur ASL for his feelings and see how much more he can say to you in sign, you will see also Tell him your his mother and you will sign because you want to talk and be his freinds not a 'surrogate speech-therapist as parent'...
 
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