A Violation of Human Rights Re: Forcing A Deaf Child to Wear CI

[GrendelQ]

You were the one that brought your child into the discussion. You alone are responsible if she became part of the topic. Start showing some responsibilities for your actions and stop trying to make it someone else's responsibility.

Practice some civility.

Did you misread something and think I was complaining about someone else bringing my daughter into the conversation? Not the case. I was explaining why I brought up my daughter's experience, why I think it is relevant to the discussion.

You don't have to be in such a rush to both take and give offense -- this can be a discussion, not a battle.

 

[deafdyke]

We live close to Providence

Attleborugh area? I assume that the kids in your area prolly are split between RISD, TLC and Clarke right?
You could take advantage of the RI School for the Deaf/ RI Deaf community resources.
How far away are you from Fall River? There's a good Deaf Studies program there.

wow... all these daily commutes... that's just so rough on child especially for 4 years old. I can't image the expenses involved for whole thing mentioned in your post especially for commuting.

Actually jiro, did you know it's very common for parents of dhh kids (both oral and Sign) to move to an area where there's better deaf schools?

 

[inmate23]

forgot to add one more - because you are in one of the best locations for immersive deaf environment... it doesn't take much work to "construct" the ASL environment for your child.

Hearing parents take their kids to playground, right? and there... the kids play with other kids and parents meet other parents. It's that easy.

I moved 650 miles to immerse my child in an ASL environment. I would have loved to have had such opportunities at my back door.

thats great i wish everyone would meet their childs needs like that

 

[BecLak]

I'm not 100% certain, but I believe that based on many other videos of the situation I've seen, the woman you see in these videos is the grandmother, the child's deaf father's mom, demonstrating how the child reacts. She's spoken out vehemently against the CI. Her close relationship to the dad and position on the CI makes it even more surprising to me that she doesn't use ASL consistently or fluently with the child, and when she does, it's as you say -- not real two-way communication. That's one of the reasons why I think the issue is huge: totally broken communication.

Thank you for bringing it to my attention that the adult in the video is not the mother. I stand corrected. I only knew of this case when I first viewed the video at the time of post. You must forgive me if I don't keep up with ALL the news in the US. The fact that communication was not fair on the child and not visual enough was the main point I was bringing out and that whoever it is that is attempting communication with the child, or in this case lacking, is utterly selfish and in error, especially when it is a family member.

 

[GrendelQ]

wow... all these daily commutes... that's just so rough on child especially for 4 years old. I can't image the expenses involved for whole thing mentioned in your post especially for commuting.

I see that Li is spending quite a lot of time in school & structure environment and less in real world socialization like normal kids. You and Li do not have to suffer like this if you move closer for her sake (just a thought). My parents moved about 4x for us wherever our school was. My brother and I are deaf.

Didn't intend to portray it as suffering for her at all! It just wasn't easy to construct it all. The time spent in school and structured activities is a parenting (and child's) choice that would remain the same whether we lived on a farm in the rural environment as we do now or moved to a suburban cul de sac blocks from the school she attends. We let her try each one and she has chosen soccer, gymnastics, etc. -- we don't require any of these activities except for school. The difference in choosing to live where we do vs in the town where her school is located is that now she comes home with a group of 5 deaf kids, including her best friend who lives just a couple of miles from us to dogs, chickens, horses, meandering bridle paths, a creek and pond, etc. and meets her dad rather than being bused to an after-school hearing day care for a few hours every afternoon waiting for her dad to travel the extra hour from his work. I don't like the commute -- but she does!

Rural socializing is a bit different from urban or even suburban, and combining that with sending a child to a private school, you trade off the community of kids who live next door to one another, share a street corner playground and attend the same school for the academic environment you want. None of her classmates live in or near Framingham, moving there wouldn't provide that community.

Fortunately, we don't have to move to find a great deaf school, we're already within reach. We opted not to move away for a different opportunity so we could remain here for the many resources available. We are intentionally trying to balance her languages, and this works right now.

 

[flip]

GrendelQ, care to answer if Rick48 makes audist posts on alldeaf.com?

 

[posts from hell]

GrendelQ, care to answer if Rick48 makes audist posts on alldeaf.com?

She won't answer. She likes to dance around things. She has danced around several of my questions/posts.

That's so typical of a hearing parent. smokescreen after smokescreen.

 

[CSign]

I think each situation is different... With that said, this particular child HA's made it clear as day she does not want to wear the CI. I'm a big advocate for listening to and respecting childrens wishes once they are old enough to have sense of what they want.
This poor little girl does not want to wear the CI and her family should respect that. I agree that it seems communication is totally lacking between her and those around her.
I have seen some children do very well with the CI and appreciate wearing it, as they do receive auditory benefit. On the other hand I have seen some children who didn't benefit from it. It really depends on the individual.

 

[GrendelQ]

She won't answer. She likes to dance around things. She has danced around several of my questions/posts.

That's so typical of a hearing parent. smokescreen after smokescreen.

I don't dance around valid questions. I just don't always provide the answers you want to hear or in the way you'd like me too. It's also possible that I've missed questions you've asked me.

Do you really think that putting up smokescreens to obscure your view is "typical" of hearing parents in general? I'm not saying that your concern is unwarranted, perhaps we do have a national anti-PFH club with one solitary goal (to torment you, in particular), but frankly I am surprised you found us out -- we take great pains to work stealthily. Your tires are running a little low, by the way, and the milk in your fridge is starting to turn.

 

[GrendelQ]

I think each situation is different... With that said, this particular child HA's made it clear as day she does not want to wear the CI. I'm a big advocate for listening to and respecting childrens wishes once they are old enough to have sense of what they want.
This poor little girl does not want to wear the CI and her family should respect that. I agree that it seems communication is totally lacking between her and those around her.
I have seen some children do very well with the CI and appreciate wearing it, as they do receive auditory benefit. On the other hand I have seen some children who didn't benefit from it. It really depends on the individual.

 

[rick48]

I'll give an example of what I mean: there are some who prefer to emphasize or prioritize the development of ASL with their children, as my family did and does (in our case, we emphasize ASL because it's harder for us -- my husband and I are not yet fluent and we don't live and work in an asl immersive community, so we put much more work into constructing and making sure the little one has an ASL environment). That doesn't necessarily mean they (we) devalue spoken language at all or think that those who don't have access to sound are superior to those who do!

And there are some who prefer to emphasize the development of spoken language. That doesn't necessarily mean they devalue ASL at all or think that those who have access to sound are superior to those who don't.

But too often the expression of valuing spoken language or the access to sound provided by a CI is automatically seen as audism -- when there's no indication that the person thinks a hearing person is superior to a deaf person.

Bingo and double yeppers!!

Too often the "audism" label is slung around by a few on this forum, jillio, beowolf and flippy to name a few, just like labeling one a "communist" was during the McCarthy era. Same motive: attempt to smear a person by labeling them, create a diversion from discussing the issues.

To paraphrase the famous response to Sen. McCarthy by one who stood up to his bullying and smear tactics: "Have they no decency?"

Rick

 

[jillio]

Ah, so it is a choice.

A choice with specifically spelled out consequences. As are all things, including CI and health insurance mandates.

 

[jillio]

Bingo and double yeppers!!

Too often the "audism" label is slung around by a few on this forum, jillio, beowolf and flippy to name a few, just like labeling one a "communist" was during the McCarthy era. Same motive: attempt to smear a person by labeling them, create a diversion from discussing the issues.

To paraphrase the famous response to Sen. McCarthy by one who stood up to his bullying and smear tactics: "Have they no decency?"

Rick

Bingo and double yeppers. You are an audist. We have already seen the answer to Senator McCarthy's question. You have demonstrated time and again that you have no decency. We have come to expect as much from you.

 

[KarissaMann05]

Well, I feel they should check on her hearing aids to see what's wrong with her devices than expecting her to listen the noise all the time. That should do something, like to fix her devices. I feel sorry for her because she have to endure the sound for almost everyday...

 

[Beowulf]

Bingo and double yeppers!!

Too often the "audism" label is slung around by a few on this forum, jillio, beowolf and flippy to name a few, just like labeling one a "communist" was during the McCarthy era. Same motive: attempt to smear a person by labeling them, create a diversion from discussing the issues.

To paraphrase the famous response to Sen. McCarthy by one who stood up to his bullying and smear tactics: "Have they no decency?"

Rick

I call it as I see it. It is the attitude of audism I blow the whistle at. I will keep doing it until the person gets it. No offense.

 

[GrendelQ]

GrendelQ, care to answer if Rick48 makes audist posts on alldeaf.com?

No, I don't. (But I will). It's not my place or preference to label fellow community members. Except for PFH, whose viewpoints I mostly respect, but whose approach verges on (or fully dives into) abusive: I'm comfortable labeling him a pain in the a@# whenever possible. :P In the most loving sense of the phrase. Someday I hope we can get past the CI debates and present a unified approach -- he may feel very differently, but much as I like a spirited debate, I'd like to work with him, and not always seem to be at odds with his perspective.

I'll say this: my impression based on the posts in this thread and off-hand memory of his posts is no. Rick has a deaf child. If I had to guess, based on the loving and proud way he writes about his daughters, and a sometimes fierce protectiveness, I can't imagine that he thinks someone else's child is superior to his own daughter just because that other child is hearing and his daughter is deaf. I haven't seen a sense that his daughter is inferior to differently hearing peers based on her deafness conveyed in his posts, have you?

I see a strong position against individuals who are anti-CI. I see a high value placed on spoken language and a child's sense of self-worth. I see that he is constantly being challenged to defend his decision and has become accustomed to having to do so. I don't know Rick's 'oevre' of alldeaf posts, I don't have time to research what he's posted in the past, I don't know him personally and so I actually don't know whether or not he feels that a hearing person is superior to a deaf person or that its right to discriminate against a deaf person based on hearing status. But I don't see an indication of that. Just as you would, I'd call him on it if that turns out to be the case.

 

[rick48]

Bingo and double yeppers. You are an audist. We have already seen the answer to Senator McCarthy's question. You have demonstrated time and again that you have no decency. We have come to expect as much from you.

Thanks for proving my point.

BTW do you check each night for audists hiding under your bed or in your closets?

Would you let your sister marry an audist?

Must be tough knowing that each day you have less and less impact on those making the cochlear implant decision either for themselves or for their children. Either learn tolerance and to accept diversity within the deaf community or you will continue to live in your miserable isolated and ever dwindling community.

Toodles,
Rick

 

[rick48]

I call it as I see it. It is the attitude of audism I blow the whistle at. I will keep doing it until the person gets it. No offense.

None taken, you're not worth it.
Rick

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Bingo and double yeppers. You are an audist. We have already seen the answer to Senator McCarthy's question. You have demonstrated time and again that you have no decency. We have come to expect as much from you.

He also has labeled me a "Deaf wannabe". I don't even know what that is.

I mean no disrespect when I say this, but I don't want to be deaf. I wasn't born deaf, and Lord willing, I will not become deaf. However, not wanting to lose a sense I have always had doesn't negate the fact that I have empathy for what the deaf have gone through and still go through.

This is what the oralists don't have. Empathy. In my view, that is far worse than being called a "wannabe".

Rick: If I wanted to become deaf, it's very, very simple. All I would have to do is wear my head phones while listening to music at full blast. Would that do it instantly? No, but, it would be effective. Lets not forget that I've also almost have been in these people's shoes already by virtue of otoxic drugs given to me for infections and pain relief. I also contracted meningitis as an infant.

My hearing is something I DO NOT take for granted, but being hearing also doesn't mean that I am callous and unfeeling to the needs of others. It's about respect. That, Sir, is something you DO NOT have for these people here and you never will.

 

[jillio]

Thanks for proving my point.

BTW do you check each night for audists hiding under your bed or in your closets?

Would you let your sister marry an audist?

Must be tough knowing that each day you have less and less impact on those making the cochlear implant decision either for themselves or for their children. Either learn tolerance and to accept diversity within the deaf community or you will continue to live in your miserable isolated and ever dwindling community.

Toodles,
Rick

No need to check under my bed. I don't associate with them. And I can find plenty IRL. Not to mention one of the worst that comes back every so often with the intent to show hatred and resentment for the deaf community. And yes, I am talking about you.

You telling anyone to learn about tolerance and diversity is the most hypocritical statement I have ever seen anyone make.