A Deafie's Pet Peeve About Living Among The Hearies

Muse said:
LOL, exactly! :) Sometimes I have to be careful and not react to what I see.

It does come in super handy. Like when checking out college professors for the semester to decide which class to take, all I need is a minute of watching the body language of the professor and I have a very good impression of whether or not that class is good for my GPA.

Or when negotiating, sometimes I've been known to look at the person for a second and have a very good impression of whether they're telling the truth or not. (These are actually understatements of how much we see as Deaf people!)

And then like you said about your neighbor not believing you, when I try to share this with hearing people, they don't experience it so they don't get it. They think that your ability is not that different from their ability to read people. When in reality, they have no clue.


Thanks for sharing that story :)
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There is no way my neighbor would had believe me if I told her I got all that from her b/f body language . Another time was at an auto shop I used and I was paying my bill and I picked up something about the bookkeep being very off ! The next time I went to the auto shop the bookkeeper was gone. She messed up the owner account and it cost him money. How was I going to tell the guy to watch his bookkeeper all b/c of the her body language . The bookkeeper was fired and working at some department store.
 
Keep in mind,....

not all deaf people have that super wonderful ability. I don't- not to that degree y'all wax poetic about.

I also know a few hearing people who can do exactly the same thing- be able to "read" a person easily. Senses don't always have a lot to do with it.
 
Now that I'm totally deaf and attended Montana School for the Deaf and was taught to study body language and detecting "tells" as part of speechreading, I slowly gained better abilities in observation. I would have never done so if I hadn't lost my hearing.

My sister who was born deaf learned the same skills at California School for the Deaf. Because a person doesn't apply him or herself, doesn't mean the skills don't exist. Just more crab bucket syndrome--"If I can't do it, then nobody can do it." Heh.
 
shel90 said:
Since I am in the hearing world for work only, I dont really interact with them socially because I dont see the need for it. I dont really get annoyed by them because I just keep things on a professional level and rarely get personal with them. When I was growing up being mainstreamed the usual stuff like the "Neverminds or I will tell you laters" were my biggest pet peeve.
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The "Nevermind" is my biggest pet peeve.
 
Chase said:
Because a person doesn't apply him or herself, doesn't mean the skills don't exist. Just more crab bucket syndrome--"If I can't do it, then nobody can do it." Heh.
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Not sure who this is in reference to but if it's directed to me (you didn't specify so...). I never said it doesn't exist. It's not a matter of me applying myself or not either. I know it exists but some people forget that not every deaf person has it "naturally" or "thinks" to learn it on their own. Someone coming to read these boards for the first time will read the above posts before mine and will think "Oh cool! So all deaf people can do it no problem! Neat!" I only want to caution anyone reading that like anything else, different people have different abilities no matter how hard one works at them. Trust me I've tried. I've tried learning to read/understand when a person is flirting with me. I still can't- you'd have to hit me with a brick or two.. or five to get me to see- and even then.. well :). I could very well be better than others (regardless of hearing or deaf status) in other areas...

No "crab theory" from me. :). Glad you and your sister were able to learn at the deaf schools and that wdys was able to learn on her own as a child. Too bad no matter how hard I tried I couldn't...but I have a good hearing friend who is able to suss out a person almost immediately by body language, voice etc. To me that's a natural ability- just enhanced more when one is deaf.
 
Telling a person on the phone " I can't hear them" and they say " I can hear you just fine !" Or say "That OK " WTH! how it's OK that I can't hear a the person.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
People whispering right in front of ! @DeafNerdMommy hearing people think that being HOH only mean you can't hear very good and that is not true.
I can hear people but not be able to understand certain words especially when on the phone , and when this happen the person will start yelling at me !
I will have to tell them stop yelling at me it not going to help and they still don't get it . GRRR!
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whatdidyousay! said:
WTH! You should say to the person "And you don't look stupid so what are saying something so stupid!"
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whatdidyousay! said:
I was called deafie when I was younger by 2 sisters and ex brother and it sure wasn't a " term of endearment " . I still don't like the word today. This is my personal feeling , other people feel difference about this and that is fine with me.
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whatdidyousay! said:
I agree , and it the way I was called deafie was meant to hurt me , it was harder being deaf or HOH when I was kid . People were so uneducated about it and
including the doctors. I lived 3 houses away from our family doctor so he saw a lot and he never got it that I was HOH.
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whatdidyousay! said:
I have notice some people posting that hearing peoples don't belong here then they complain that hearing peoples don't understand them . How else can hearing people get to understand us if they're aren't made to feel welcome here and they will end up not wanting to even take the time to know deaf or hoh person at work etc.
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whatdidyousay! said:
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Chase said:
Okay, I give. All who constantly derailed this thread win. No more pet peeves, except this last one:

The derails are good examples of the "crab bucket syndrome" many deaf people exhibit. No matter what another deaf person tries to accomplish, others take delight in pulling him down.
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Oh, Chase don't give.... You've made whatdidyousay! happier than she has been in months! :P

whatdidyousay! said:
Yeah this happen to me a few times , and it was too heavy for me. Once I was visiting my neighbor and her b/f was there too. My neighbor told me that they were getting married and I looked at the b/f and read him like a book . He notice this and gave me a warning not to say anything , the b/f was engaged to marry another woman and had no plans to my neighbor . The next time I saw my neighbor she told that she broke up with her b/f b/c he was engaged with another woman! I never saw the guy before but I was able to read his body language , I don't think my neighbor would had believe me if I told her what I knew. This kind of stuff happen to me few times and I try to shut it off !
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whatdidyousay! said:
There is no way my neighbor would had believe me if I told her I got all that from her b/f body language . Another time was at an auto shop I used and I was paying my bill and I picked up something about the bookkeep being very off ! The next time I went to the auto shop the bookkeeper was gone. She messed up the owner account and it cost him money. How was I going to tell the guy to watch his bookkeeper all b/c of the her body language . The bookkeeper was fired and working at some department store.
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whatdidyousay! said:
I learned how to read body language on my own as a child .
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whatdidyousay! said:
Telling a person on the phone " I can't hear them" and they say " I can hear you just fine !" Or say "That OK " WTH! how it's OK that I can't hear a the person.
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The way these threads work confuse me. I can't tell who says what, but the person who was peeved by hearing people saying "It's okay" when we tell them we're deaf is right. That is annoying, like they're giving us special permission to be deaf.

Worse is when I say, "You're talking a bit too fast for me to keep up" and I get:

"That's okay."

It is? :crazy: :pissed: :confused:
 
Chase said:
The way these threads work confuse me. I can't tell who says what, but the person who was peeved by hearing people saying "It's okay" when we tell them we're deaf is right. That is annoying, like they're giving us special permission to be deaf.

Worse is when I say, "You're talking a bit too fast for me to keep up" and I get:

"That's okay."

It is? :crazy: :pissed: :confused:
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OMG ! I get that a lot too when I tell someone on the phone I can't hear them , they say " That OK!" I guess the person just like to hear their self talk !
 
Came back across this one and honestly loved reading this, telling the truth shouldn't scare us away, it helps us open our eyes
The thread in general is not meant to be offensive to "Hearies" from what I read into it at least...

Up!
 
When I try to be as quiet as infinitely possible ... and then ...

"YOU'RE SO LOUD! I HEARD YOU OVER THE JET ENGINE PARKED ON OUR FRONT LAWN!!!!"
 
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Others: "Why are you using Sign Language with me? I'm not deaf".
Me: Oh really! Come on! "Duh"!

(Because I grew up oral, I get this one all the time)

I got this all the time from people who knew me when I was oral: "But you speak sooo well, no one can tell you are deaf"

Absolutely infuriates me.
 
How about "If you didn't hear me you should have said". Yeah, and you close your eyes and tell me all the things you can't see. Either you don't know there's something to hear or you thought you got what they said and it turns out to be totally wrong and you don't know until you turn up for events and it's the wrong day.
 
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