You know you're a Christian when.......

[Rose Immortal]

About the post above mine (well...last post on the previous page), I don't think there's any purpose served by trying to get even. Two wrongs don't make a right.

 

[Angel]

About the post above mine (well...last post on the previous page), I don't think there's any purpose served by trying to get even. Two wrongs don't make a right.

:nods: I agree.....

 

[The*Empress]

I don't find this offended... I agree with some of this and yes I am a Christian.

10- You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.

TRUE :roll:

9- You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt

TRUE :roll:

8- You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god

TRUE :roll:

7- Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" -- including women, children, and trees!

WELL :roll:

6- You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

HAHA, True.

5- You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.

So what? :roll:


4- You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving".

Burn baby Burn!!!!

3- While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to prove Christianity.

lalalalalal la la la la

2- You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

Geez, I wonder if I pray for a million dollar tonight, I wonder if God will answer my prayer. I'll tell you if prayer really do work, okay?

1- You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call yourself a Christian.

Well that is true. So what? Rachael Ray didn't go to cooking school and she is a chef and a self made millionaire.
And and and... you can be a business owner, and don't know anything about running a business....
And and and... you don't have to read the whole Bible to be a Christian and you don't have to go to church either, just ask Jesus to come to your heart and ask forgiveness and all.

 

[deafdyke]

Well it's satire......and quite a few items on the list fit me to a T..

..Listen to the Indigo Girls on a much more regular basis than anyone should.

Guess what I'm listening to as we speak?

Have cats.

..

I do....I do indeed

Think that spa treatments are for gay men and married junior leaguers.

They ARE!
I laugh at that list u posted b/c it is supposed to be FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and it does have some kernals of truth in it)

 

[Eve]

About the post above mine (well...last post on the previous page), I don't think there's any purpose served by trying to get even. Two wrongs don't make a right.

First of all, I wasn't "trying to get even", I was simply making a point. I also showed a bit more sensitivity by posting comments made by another lesbian, not by myself (as I am heterosexual). Sometimes it is much easier to poke fun at ourselves, rather than have some outsider do so. Sorta like how black people can refer to one another (which I still find offensive) as "nigga", but if a white boy were to say "******" he will be the sure recipient of a beat down. Just so, a non-Christian is the one who posted this topic, thus offending the Christians on the board. It would have been more humorous had a Christian posted something similar, however, this was obviously not posted as humor, but as a form of ridicule. There is certainly a difference between laughing WITH and being laughed AT.

 

[Reba]

... There is certainly a difference between laughing WITH and being laughed AT.

True!

 

[The*Empress]

Let me do one on gay men...

You might be gay if you...

10. dislike sports.

9. like to do hair or work in beauty salon.

8. like fashion, especially ladies fashion, designing.

7. like to wear tight clothes.

6. don't know how to repair cars or other tech...

5. like to dance dance dance

4. like to look at yourself in the mirror long time

3. hang out with ladies friends

2. like to keep house or apt clean, neat, with nice decorated things.

1. have long pretty clean fingernails.

 

[MorriganTait]

I just saw it as satire ala The Onion

This isn't satire and isn't meant to be satire (though I am sure you meant to post it as satire). This is an intentional, stinging indictment by the writer of what he or she thinks (all or most or some) Christians are like. Satire is supposed to be funny - even if it is a bit biting. This was not written to be funny - it was written to prove a point about the closed-minded, uninformed thinking of "Christians". While I agree there are many "Christians" who do think as described in the article, it doesn't comprise all Christians, not even most Christians. Christian fundamentalism is quite uniquely American, and limited to a rather small minority of all Christians, but to many of us Christians who do not ascribe to this mindset, it is an abomination.

 

[Angel]

I got this from a great friend of mine thru email today, would like to share it with you all....


"Christians"


By Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Share this with somebody who already has this understanding, as reinforcement. But more importantly, share this with those who do not have a clear understanding of what it means to be a Christian, so that the myth that Christians think they are "perfect" or "better than others" can be dispelled.

 

[deafdyke]

Just so, a non-Christian

How do you know I am not a Christian?

 

[MorriganTait]

I got this from a great friend of mine thru email today, would like to share it with you all....
"Christians" By Maya Angelou

As I read this, I suspected Maya Angelou would not write something with such a trite rhyming metre. This is, in-fact, written by Carol Wimmer. It is a good poem though. Thank you for sharing it.

 

[Angel]

As I read this, I suspected Maya Angelou would not write something with such a trite rhyming metre. This is, in-fact, written by Carol Wimmer. It is a good poem though. Thank you for sharing it.

Oh, I honestly don't know who really wrote this, but it did say written by Maya Angelou in my email....

You're very welcome hon

 

[MorriganTait]

Oh, I honestly don't know who really wrote this, but it did say written by Maya Angelou in my email.

That's ok. You didn't know. Now you can let your friend know who did write it.

 

[Rose Immortal]

First of all, I wasn't "trying to get even", I was simply making a point. I also showed a bit more sensitivity by posting comments made by another lesbian, not by myself (as I am heterosexual).

I see now, but I think it might've been helpful to say who the author was in the post itself. I do credit you for posting the link, though (even though some of us are too spyware-paranoid to click on every link ).

Sometimes it is much easier to poke fun at ourselves, rather than have some outsider do so. Sorta like how black people can refer to one another (which I still find offensive) as "nigga", but if a white boy were to say "******" he will be the sure recipient of a beat down. Just so, a non-Christian is the one who posted this topic, thus offending the Christians on the board. It would have been more humorous had a Christian posted something similar, however, this was obviously not posted as humor, but as a form of ridicule. There is certainly a difference between laughing WITH and being laughed AT.

True, because then you're in on the humor. When it's used to exclude, that's another matter.

 

[deafdyke]

Exactly.....I wasn't bashing ALL Christians. While I may not believe in Christ as the ONLY Teacher, I still have a lot of Christian-like beliefs. I follow Jesus' basic Teachings, and consider Him to be a good Teacher. I merely posted this b/c I thought it could eliect some interesting conversations. Angel......I really like the poem you posted. I know many wonderful Christians who are like that.....if ALL Christians were like that, I would never have posted this list.

 

[Ariakkas]

anyone who gets offended is overly sensitive.


does this person posting thier or someone elses view on christianity somehow hurt you? i don't understand...words only hurt if you let them. people only have the power to offend you if you let them.

im atheist, and i can't stand christians to be honest. they try to impose thier beliefs on me and think simply because im atheist its impossible for me to live a moral life. that said, i do like individuals who happen to be christian, as long as they respect me as i respect them. i dont tell them there isn't a god, they dont tell me there is.



christians are hardly persecuted in this country...all this talk of a double stardard when its ok to bash christians but not others? stop watching the 700 club, pat robertson...while an amazing squinter....is only pushing his agenda. your the majority remember? and as the majority...your wide open to attacks...thats how it is being the top dog. if you dont want people making fun of your religion, stop converting people...your religion will shrink into obscurity and noone will care enough about you to bash you.

 

[Rose Immortal]

anyone who gets offended is overly sensitive.

A common excuse to justify saying or doing things better left undone--attacker blaming the attacked. That's like a rapist saying the victim was asking for it.

christians are hardly persecuted in this country...all this talk of a double stardard when its ok to bash christians but not others? stop watching the 700 club, pat robertson...while an amazing squinter....is only pushing his agenda. your the majority remember? and as the majority...your wide open to attacks...thats how it is being the top dog. if you dont want people making fun of your religion, stop converting people...your religion will shrink into obscurity and noone will care enough about you to bash you.

"As the majority you're wide open to attacks"--are you saying the majority is not entitled to the same rights and dignity as everyone else?

 

[hottiedeafboi]

Very good example to understand what christian is and who God is and many ways, lately I ve been reading max lucado. Its a very good book and whole passage to applied our lives who we are and the positions we are in. Of course more books of max lucado I ll be reading. The attitudes of being a christians are varies. Different degree. Many would think God is up there somewhere, which is not true, He is Omnipresence, meaning He's everywhere. Many time christians jumps in without God leading them too and many tend to hurt and judging which God forbid. Likewise, apathy attitude says nobody is perfect, which is true, but not take action to allow God to help us what He called us to do. We move ahead of Him. Many ways what pat robertson was doing is far fetch. Being seeing the news about chruch starting acting so called cultural war, which is not God plan but spiritual wars. Yes, we should be a testimony, not casting stone. Satan is laughing at us and his goal to prevent people to see what God trying to lead. God loves all of us, but each has to respond to Him either Lord, help me and change me and use me mold me or tell Him, none of ur business, leave me alone. And etc. That is our choice. Smile

 

[Ariakkas]

A common excuse to justify saying or doing things better left undone--attacker blaming the attacked. That's like a rapist saying the victim was asking for it.

you should go down to the rape/battered womens shelter and tell them that being raped is the same as bieng offended....see i can take things completely out of context just as easily as you.

"As the majority you're wide open to attacks"--are you saying the majority is not entitled to the same rights and dignity as everyone else?

are you somehow being denied the same rights as everyone else? is there a law that says it's illegal to be a christian...or are you somehow discriminated against in the community because your a christian....i highly highly doubt it.


my point, since it obviously flew over your head...is that when you are the majority, you are open to attacks...ala republicans or any other organization....its just a simple fact, like it or hate it...thats how it is.

 

[hottiedeafboi]

Persecution is not just like throwing u in court and filed against u bec u r a christians, part of it true, but more to that, u can persecute christians by verbal way, like aaah, u think u are holier than thou. Or saying, they are looneys and etc. There are many ways of being persecute. One gone to far to the right and other gone to far to the left. One is good example, at the car wash, a gay guy saw the christian bumper stickers and he ask the christian guy if God loves gay people, and he answerd, God loves u dearly, but doesn't approve waht u are doing. You know what happen? Gay guy filed charged against the christian guy for hate crime. The christian guy end up 4 yrs in jail plus 3 yrs community service. The problem is people choose the negatives. And on the other hand, one gay guy came to meet the pastor during the week, and he wept bec he loves men and need help. You know what happen? The pastor told him to leave and gay guy felt rejected. Now, both different stories I tell you, the gay guy at car wash is very wrong and the pastor kicked a struggling guy out is out of Gods plan and disgusting the Lord. Real problem is one side to human and the other side, doing their own thinking they live up to Gods standard. Max Lucado has a very good poiint how many christians missed out. Charles Stanley has a same view. That's what's the problem this society been having.