You Have to Be Hard of Hearing to Understand

I am not HoH, but I am profoundly deaf and I still have to cope with the hearing world. I feel the same way because I am standing between both deaf and hearing worlds, I want to be with the deafies more often as I can.
 
Yes, many deaf people can and do interact with the hearing world...it's not just those of us who are Hoh!
 
to me its this way...

I'm ME if u don't like the fact i can talk then ur not my true friend, if you don't like the fact that im just being myself there's the door, im Desi i won't change myself just cause im Deaf being labeled Hard of hearing in the Deaf world, whilist im Deaf in the Hearing world. the world makes no difference its a do or die. and im just being ME, then again, u gotta be Hard of hearing to understand :)

this isn't a crackpot its just people forget to relize, u gotta be yuo and if they can't accept that, its thier plm not urs.
 
Nancy said:
When I am with hearing people in groups, sometimes I get a "summary" of what was said, like "Chinese". I am like, "What Chinese? Chinese food? Chinese restuarant? Chinese people?" Other times, they do say more of what was said, but then I am back to being feeling like an outcast when they started saying something else. That's why sometimes I avoid sitting with them at work during lunch....I got tired of trying to understand what was said and trying to be involved with them, also I missed the joke when everyone was laughing when someone said something. You know what I mean? :/
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Yeah, I know. I am also HoH and know that feeling. As said, it's difficult for them to understand how we can hear some stuff but not all. It's really a mess, because i can be talking to someone in a quiet room and then if we are in the street with lots of noises, the hearing aid gets dizzy and it's quite difficult to follow the words.It's like being in a nowhere land. Well, not just that... it's our land and i'm glad i found this site. In my life, the people i know are all hearies but i find that here, finally, i found my equals. People that i can understand and that they can understand me. Thanks you :wave:
 
VamPyroX said:
I agree with you. I would rather be hard-of-hearing. I get to experience both worlds. The only problem is, most of both worlds don't see it that way. :(
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Good point there.

A lot of deaf and hearing people find it hard to believe that I am severely profoundly deaf since birth cuz I can lipread and talk well enough to communicate with hearing people.

Most radicial deaf people do not accept me cuz I grew up oral but they dont realize it wasnt by choice. Most hearing people do not accept me cuz they dont seem want to work hard to overcome some communication barriers.

I was in my own world until I found friends who are like me. Deaf who grew up oral but learned ASL anyway. Also, I felt connected with hearing people who are CODAs or are fluent in ASL cuz they have more empathy of my deaf needs than hearing people who are close-minded about deafness.
 
Nancy said:
Vampy, I am the same way as you have just described here. :) It is hard to be very HOH!

When I am with hearing people in groups, sometimes I get a "summary" of what was said, like "Chinese". I am like, "What Chinese? Chinese food? Chinese restuarant? Chinese people?" Other times, they do say more of what was said, but then I am back to being feeling like an outcast when they started saying something else. That's why sometimes I avoid sitting with them at work during lunch....I got tired of trying to understand what was said and trying to be involved with them, also I missed the joke when everyone was laughing when someone said something. You know what I mean? :/
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Or when the joke is told and everyone is laughing and then someone takes the time to tell u the joke but it is not the same since everyone else is done laughing at the joke. It is all about feeling connected. When someone tells a joke and everyone laughs together, that is a form of group bonding so my hearing friends and ex husband could never understand why I still dont laugh as hard after they explain the joke to me after everyone has laughed. It just doesnt feel the same laughing alone.
 
What a great poem and it describes the "neitherworld" of a HOH very well. Whether with my HA or now with my CI, there are certain realities for us that never change. I may hear so much more but there is always something one will miss time to time. In other words, a CI solves most of my problems but not all of them. I'm in happyland and my ship is still docked to the hearing world...which is all that matters to me.

One thing is so true, only others like oneself can achieve that comaraderie and level of understanding of "been there and done that".
 
Most radicial deaf people do not accept me cuz I grew up oral but they dont realize it wasnt by choice.
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Tell me about it..........but I mean you also have to blame the radical oral deaf people, who looked down on Sign as "speshal needs" and who soured the Deafies on oral deaf people.
 
yah hoh os pretty much an diferent society altogeher like an space between eharing and deaf in my view ofc
i m one of the hoh not as good as most hoh no but nevertheless i can speak and communcate with hearing ppl with out paper and penical and i can hear some things and my cutlure "tastes" belongs to hearing world and i have no deaf culture whatsoever in me unless you count signing as an deaf culture hehe
 
OMG that post just described my life for me lol. I grew up hearing and at 14 lost my hearing and that is when I describe my life as being in a glass enclosed cage looking out at the world. Neither world would accept me as I was. It was only after high school and i found the internet that I have managed to find acceptance. Very good posting!
 
I grew up deaf, but was pretty much immersed into the hearing world, like i said in my previous post I am me, i live in both worlds, and that's a part of my life i chose, I hope someday somewhere we all can meet in the middle and cut out the egoism of this is my world this is your world. we all need to find the peace within ourselves and to stop using Deaf is better than hearing attitudes we are already oppressed into the hearing world we need to adapt and WORK with both worlds and educate every walking life to realize we are not alone in this world. we all are human being with different disabilities.
 
hankpiece said:
It is difficult for hearing people to understand. Many hearing people can understand what deafness is, at least in an abstract sense. It's because it's an extreme. A deaf person cannot hear. HoH is different because hearies don't understand how you can hear some stuff but not all stuff. I'm pretty sensitive about it (or so I like to think) but I sit next to a HoH girl in my ASL class, and sometimes she whispers to me, but if I try to whisper back she cannot always hear it.

I had a HoH roommate who could not hear when I talked to him from behind, but he could pick up my stereo no matter how quietly I played it. This is much harder to understand than somebody who can't hear at all.
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Same here. I feel and experience the same as a HoH .
 
hankpiece,

That is *so* true! I often give presentations about deafblindness. When I still had enough hearing to use an FM system, I used to give demonstrations to show what my hearing loss was like. I did this by playing a talk radio station at a very low volume (to show how one can barely hear the words, but can't understand them). To demonstrate the difficulty I had hearing in noise, I would play a talk radio station at a very low volume and play another radio with music blaring. I always received compliments on these demonstrations. If you're looking for a way to explain your hearing loss to others, you might want to give these demonstrations a try! :)
 
When I saw a middle ear implant specialist in 2001 (based on a referral from my ENT), I was told that I was in "no man's land" meaning that I didn't have enough hearing to qualify for an MEI and a little too much hearing to qualify for a CI. I've never heard anyone describe my hearing loss like that before, but I thought it was a perfect description at the time!
 
Glad to see so much input on this!

That is exactly how my daughter feels! She doesn't feel that she fits in anywhere! Great poem!

Question: For those raised orally, especially if you hear well with has/implants and speak well because you hear well with amplification--do MOST people who are "successful in the hearing world" still feel the need to socialize with other deaf/hoh people?

I am beginning to notice that MORE people I meet seem to feel that way. Contrary to what we were always told--"why would I need to have deaf friends when I fit in fine in the hearing world?"--it seems that MOST "oral deaf" DO want to socialize with others like themselves. Honestly, it seems that "hearing parents" assume that their deaf/hoh child won't need that socialization--they assume, probably because they are in denial in some way, that once their child learns to listen and speak, that they won't want or need to fit into the "Deaf community." However, the more deaf adults I meet, the more they seem to contradict that assumption--the more they say that they DO want and need that socialization. And the fact that MOST oral deaf adults eventually learn ASL seems to uphold that view--that there is a common bond that shouldn't be denied.

Getting all of this feedback is REALLY helpful--I have heard the same "propaganda" for so long that it is refreshing to hear others say something different based on their different perspectives. I still believe that my daughter would have CHOSEN the oral route--based on her residual hearing and natural speech development once she began hearing with hearing aids. However, I DO wish I had not been so closed minded about the idea of getting to know the Deaf community better. I DO feel that the advice we were given regarding not needing to be a part of it may have made my daughter feel more isolated. THAT is something I do regret. But it's not too late for us, and it especially is not too late for my daughter. Based on what others here are saying--that there are a LOT of people who are "successfully oral" AND a part of the Deaf community--I am seeing that she CAN fit into both worlds.

So thank you for your input about this--it really has been very helpful. I am a hearing mother of a hard of hearing daughter--I have learned things that will be helpful to both of us. Thanks!
 
I still believe that my daughter would have CHOSEN the oral route--based on her residual hearing and natural speech development once she began hearing with hearing aids. However, I DO wish I had not been so closed minded about the idea of getting to know the Deaf community better. I DO feel that the advice we were given regarding not needing to be a part of it may have made my daughter feel more isolated. THAT is something I do regret. But it's not too late for us, and it especially is not too late for my daughter. Based on what others here are saying--that there are a LOT of people who are "successfully oral" AND a part of the Deaf community--I am seeing that she CAN fit into both worlds.
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:applause: YAY!!!!!
Exactly Deborah..........the reason I am against oralism as an ideology, is that it assumes that oral speech will give dhh kids the complete abilty to "assimulate" into the hearing world. It's the stigma of "speshal needs" that I really really hate. I am VERY glad you're realizing that.........and I mean from what I understand there are some AG Bell types who are that way.
 
I completely understand. I've been mildly HoH for the past 2 1/2 years, and recently it's gotten a lot worse. I can hear some things fine, and then other things I'll hear distorted or not at all. I'm so glad I found this. I feel like I'm not so alone anymore. :)
 
young_smeag said:
. . . i understand how u feel but then again coming from ur point of view..
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YOU are a hearie. How can you say you understand? You understand zilch. Keep reading, but you'll never understand what it is like.
 
pek1 said:
YOU are a hearie. How can you say you understand? You understand zilch. Keep reading, but you'll never understand what it is like.
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Yep, it is amazing how people do this time and time again. It is like saying you "understand" somebody who is grieving over the loss of a child and you yourself never experienced it. Until one has walked in somebody else's shoes and been there and done...one shouldn't say asinine things like this.
 
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