"You can exist without hearing, but to have a life, you need to hear."

TheWriteAlex said:
Well, you did ask to be corrected, so this is my personal opinion: Be careful about romanticizing deafness. As you point out, the "silence" we experience is a lot different from meditation. Because of that, I'm not really sure the comparison needs to be drawn up between meditation and deafness. It almost implies that our lives are "quiet and peaceful" when that is hardly the case. Just look around AD! lol.

Also, bear in mind that you, as a hearing person, can compare silence to noise. From that contrast you are able to make a judgment that silence is peaceful and spiritual while noise is chaotic and disturbing. But for those of us who do not know what it even feels like to live in a world inundated by noise noise noise, we have a completely different idea of what silence means.

I know your intention was good, but a comment like that almost strikes me as patronizing. Not quite, but almost. Again, that's just my opinion. Others might feel differently.




Absolutely 100%. You're touching on what is at the very heart of audism: the idea that you must have hearing in order to be complete and happy, and that hearing is somehow inherently better than not hearing.
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Very insightful.
 
TheWriteAlex said:
Starkey is one of the worst. They are completely invested in perpetuating this idea of hearing loss and deafness as a terrible affliction, and the "ability to hear again" as some miracle in order to generate sympathy for their company. Truly sickening.
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miracles hearing aids and beltone hearing are bad too! they'll say anything to get you to buy their HA!
 
TheWriteAlex said:
Well, you did ask to be corrected, so this is my personal opinion: Be careful about romanticizing deafness. As you point out, the "silence" we experience is a lot different from meditation. Because of that, I'm not really sure the comparison needs to be drawn up between meditation and deafness. It almost implies that our lives are "quiet and peaceful" when that is hardly the case. Just look around AD! lol.

Also, bear in mind that you, as a hearing person, can compare silence to noise. From that contrast you are able to make a judgment that silence is peaceful and spiritual while noise is chaotic and disturbing. But for those of us who do not know what it even feels like to live in a world inundated by noise noise noise, we have a completely different idea of what silence means.

I know your intention was good, but a comment like that almost strikes me as patronizing. Not quite, but almost. Again, that's just my opinion. Others might feel differently.




Absolutely 100%. You're touching on what is at the very heart of audism: the idea that you must have hearing in order to be complete and happy, and that hearing is somehow inherently better than not hearing.
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That was quite insightful. Even a few threads on AD will show that the forum is anything but quiet. Fractious or contentious would be a better adjective for AD. :P

I think one example of how deaf would view silence differently from the hearing should suffice.

If a person make big sweeping and intense motions while signing, they will come across as "loud" to other deaf even if they're not making any nosies.

People who know me would never describe me as the quiet type and they get worried when I turn quiet.
 
I'd just like to say to Patscats: Please, don't be hurt or embarrassed by my post or the subsequent responses. Your post was honest and your intentions good, and I did not mean to belittle you. This was a good opportunity to shed light on a subject that we do not discuss very much on AD, for whatever reason. Thank you for listening to us. :)
 
After reading the article, and being experienced with media, I would say it is a very distastefully written article, even to the point that it is obvious they quoted the man who lost his wife and home totally out of context. Very insensitive and distasteful in my opinion.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
miracles hearing aids and beltone hearing are bad too! they'll say anything to get you to buy their HA!
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Beltone is bad? I am their ever-faithful and loyal customer, so watch for a dead rooster nailed to your door. :lol:
 
But you've got to think about it from the point of view of someone who has absolutely no experience with deafness or people who are deaf. I'm not saying I agree with this person, in fact I don't. But what was said simply means the person doesn't have any experience with someone who lives with deafness.

I say this all the time. No one should listen to a doctor about whether they should or shouldn't get a CI or any method of restoring hearing. That decision should first be made regardless of what doctors say. The question. "Do I want to be able to hear" should be thought out. Then, once the decision is made that the person does indeed want to be able to hear if it's possible. Then go out and see if there are any options to accomplish that.

A doctors job is not to make those kinds of decisions for people. If someone comes to a doctor with a hurt arm, the doctors job is to see if there is a way to fix that arm. IF a person looses their ability to see and go to a doctor. The doctors job is to see if there is a way their eye site can be restored. And of course if someone looses their hearing the simple fact that they went to a doctor about that tells the doctor that they are looking for a way to be able to hear again. So their job is to see if it's possible

So don't expect a doctor to say, "There are ways that I can make you hear again. But I don't suggest it. I suggest you stay deaf and learn ASL." That's not what a doctor should do in any case. They are not social regulators or life coaches. They're doctors who are trained to fix what isn't working when possible and the person comes to them for help with it.

I don't agree with the "You can exist without hearing, but to have a life, you need to hear", but that doesn't mean this person who said it isn't a good person. They just have a point of view from the outside. To them, it's like saying "If I lost my legs life would be much harder and I would have a hard time being happy that way". They are making an assumption because they couldn't imagine what it would be like to try to live without being able to hear because they can hear. My brother is in a wheel chair. Been that way all his life with Spinal Bifida and he's happy. But it would have been a different story if he had once been able to walk then lost his ability to walk.

I also know what that's like. I lost my hearing and I was very depressed for a long time. I finally got over that, but I do understand how it would be a scary thought to people and it's the same thought many have after "loosing" their hearing. I accented the word "loosing" because that's the main difference here. IF you've never had it you won't miss it. You might wonder about it but that's not the same as "Loosing" it after you've had it.

After the things I've experiences in life. I know it's easy for someone's point of view to make us upset when they differ from our own. But I've also learned that it's better to try to understand why theirs is different. We all come to our assumptions from our own experiences. Look at the biggest jerk in the world and if you look hard enough you'll find out why they are that way.

Just my two cents.

Ron Jaxon
 
RonJaxon said:
But you've got to think about it from the point of view of someone who has absolutely no experience with deafness or people who are deaf. I'm not saying I agree with this person, in fact I don't. But what was said simply means the person doesn't have any experience with someone who lives with deafness.

I say this all the time. No one should listen to a doctor about whether they should or shouldn't get a CI or any method of restoring hearing. That decision should first be made regardless of what doctors say. The question. "Do I want to be able to hear" should be thought out. Then, once the decision is made that the person does indeed want to be able to hear if it's possible. Then go out and see if there are any options to accomplish that.

A doctors job is not to make those kinds of decisions for people. If someone comes to a doctor with a hurt arm, the doctors job is to see if there is a way to fix that arm. IF a person looses their ability to see and go to a doctor. The doctors job is to see if there is a way their eye site can be restored. And of course if someone looses their hearing the simple fact that they went to a doctor about that tells the doctor that they are looking for a way to be able to hear again. So their job is to see if it's possible

So don't expect a doctor to say, "There are ways that I can make you hear again. But I don't suggest it. I suggest you stay deaf and learn ASL." That's not what a doctor should do in any case. They are not social regulators or life coaches. They're doctors who are trained to fix what isn't working when possible and the person comes to them for help with it.

I don't agree with the "You can exist without hearing, but to have a life, you need to hear", but that doesn't mean this person who said it isn't a good person. They just have a point of view from the outside. To them, it's like saying "If I lost my legs life would be much harder and I would have a hard time being happy that way". They are making an assumption because they couldn't imagine what it would be like to try to live without being able to hear because they can hear. I also know what that's like. I lost my hearing and I was very depressed for a long time. I finally got over that, but I do understand how it would be a scary thought to people and it's the same thought many have after "loosing" their hearing. I accented the word "loosing" because that's the main difference here. IF you've never had it you won't miss it. You might wonder about it but that's not the same as "Loosing" it after you've had it.

Just my two cents.

Ron Jaxon
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Before I would ever say something like "you need this or that to have a life", I would make sure that I was well educated about the subject before making ignorant claims like these. I wouldnt go around saying "You need to be taller than 4'5" to have a life."

This person is an idiot. There is no excuse.
 
Wirelessly posted

Ron excellent post :applaud:
This article however displays an ignorance that borders on offensive and is a blatant sales gimmick for hearing aid companies. It is distasteful journalism and cheap (in all senses of the word) advertising. It also feeds audism. Your point is very valid I do not defute that in the least, however audism is a mindset that is being spoonfed to the public and people need to be educated that being deaf should not be looked down upon as being any lesser quality of life or inferior. When you come from a life experience of being treated as a 'retard' mocked,ridiculed and bullied because of public ignorance and this 'spoonfeeding' from the media. This has to be stopped. This can only be done by re-educating people.
 
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Wirelessly posted

shel90 said:
RonJaxon said:
But you've got to think about it from the point of view of someone who has absolutely no experience with deafness or people who are deaf. I'm not saying I agree with this person, in fact I don't. But what was said simply means the person doesn't have any experience with someone who lives with deafness.

I say this all the time. No one should listen to a doctor about whether they should or shouldn't get a CI or any method of restoring hearing. That decision should first be made regardless of what doctors say. The question. "Do I want to be able to hear" should be thought out. Then, once the decision is made that the person does indeed want to be able to hear if it's possible. Then go out and see if there are any options to accomplish that.

A doctors job is not to make those kinds of decisions for people. If someone comes to a doctor with a hurt arm, the doctors job is to see if there is a way to fix that arm. IF a person looses their ability to see and go to a doctor. The doctors job is to see if there is a way their eye site can be restored. And of course if someone looses their hearing the simple fact that they went to a doctor about that tells the doctor that they are looking for a way to be able to hear again. So their job is to see if it's possible

So don't expect a doctor to say, "There are ways that I can make you hear again. But I don't suggest it. I suggest you stay deaf and learn ASL." That's not what a doctor should do in any case. They are not social regulators or life coaches. They're doctors who are trained to fix what isn't working when possible and the person comes to them for help with it.

I don't agree with the "You can exist without hearing, but to have a life, you need to hear", but that doesn't mean this person who said it isn't a good person. They just have a point of view from the outside. To them, it's like saying "If I lost my legs life would be much harder and I would have a hard time being happy that way". They are making an assumption because they couldn't imagine what it would be like to try to live without being able to hear because they can hear. I also know what that's like. I lost my hearing and I was very depressed for a long time. I finally got over that, but I do understand how it would be a scary thought to people and it's the same thought many have after "loosing" their hearing. I accented the word "loosing" because that's the main difference here. IF you've never had it you won't miss it. You might wonder about it but that's not the same as "Loosing" it after you've had it.

Just my two cents.

Ron Jaxon
Click to expand...

Before I would ever say something like "you need this or that to have a life", I would make sure that I was well educated about the subject before making ignorant claims like these. I wouldnt go around saying "You need to be taller than 4'5" to have a life."

This person is an idiot. There is no excuse.
Click to expand...

Totally agree Shel.
 
It's reasonable to expect writers to do some research on subjects but that doesn't mean that you're going to get it. This really falls under the category "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." By "nice," I mean positive.
 
deafskeptic said:
I'd never buy from those guys. :P
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Me either! One of them got busted for false advertising, they said their hearing aids are good for everyone that has hearing lost! And this is not true!
I think it was miracles hearing aids that got busted!
 
Beowulf said:
Beltone is bad? I am their ever-faithful and loyal customer, so watch for a dead rooster nailed to your door. :lol:
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And why would you put a dead rooster on a person's door/? Is that some kind of witch craft! I would rather have a dead chicken at least I could made nice Kosher chicken soup!
 
RonJaxon said:
But you've got to think about it from the point of view of someone who has absolutely no experience with deafness or people who are deaf. I'm not saying I agree with this person, in fact I don't. But what was said simply means the person doesn't have any experience with someone who lives with deafness.

I say this all the time. No one should listen to a doctor about whether they should or shouldn't get a CI or any method of restoring hearing. That decision should first be made regardless of what doctors say. The question. "Do I want to be able to hear" should be thought out. Then, once the decision is made that the person does indeed want to be able to hear if it's possible. Then go out and see if there are any options to accomplish that.

A doctors job is not to make those kinds of decisions for people. If someone comes to a doctor with a hurt arm, the doctors job is to see if there is a way to fix that arm. IF a person looses their ability to see and go to a doctor. The doctors job is to see if there is a way their eye site can be restored. And of course if someone looses their hearing the simple fact that they went to a doctor about that tells the doctor that they are looking for a way to be able to hear again. So their job is to see if it's possible

So don't expect a doctor to say, "There are ways that I can make you hear again. But I don't suggest it. I suggest you stay deaf and learn ASL." That's not what a doctor should do in any case. They are not social regulators or life coaches. They're doctors who are trained to fix what isn't working when possible and the person comes to them for help with it.

I don't agree with the "You can exist without hearing, but to have a life, you need to hear", but that doesn't mean this person who said it isn't a good person. They just have a point of view from the outside. To them, it's like saying "If I lost my legs life would be much harder and I would have a hard time being happy that way". They are making an assumption because they couldn't imagine what it would be like to try to live without being able to hear because they can hear. My brother is in a wheel chair. Been that way all his life with Spinal Bifida and he's happy. But it would have been a different story if he had once been able to walk then lost his ability to walk.

I also know what that's like. I lost my hearing and I was very depressed for a long time. I finally got over that, but I do understand how it would be a scary thought to people and it's the same thought many have after "loosing" their hearing. I accented the word "loosing" because that's the main difference here. IF you've never had it you won't miss it. You might wonder about it but that's not the same as "Loosing" it after you've had it.

After the things I've experiences in life. I know it's easy for someone's point of view to make us upset when they differ from our own. But I've also learned that it's better to try to understand why theirs is different. We all come to our assumptions from our own experiences. Look at the biggest jerk in the world and if you look hard enough you'll find out why they are that way.

Just my two cents.

Ron Jaxon
Click to expand...

I was told I was good candidate for a CI , I talked to my daughter about this and during our talk I realize I may not like hearing new sounds , I am 64 years old and there a lot of sounds I never heard , so I have no idea what I am missing and I think I can live the rest of my life without hearing new sounds that may drive me crazy!
 
TheWriteAlex said:
I'd just like to say to Patscats: Please, don't be hurt or embarrassed by my post or the subsequent responses. Your post was honest and your intentions good, and I did not mean to belittle you.This was a good opportunity to shed light on a subject that we do not discuss very much on AD, for whatever reason. Thank you for listening to us. :)
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:wave:

Not feeling hurt or embarassed. As you pointed out, I asked to be corrected, and I was. Point well taken. :ty:
 
PatsCats said:
:wave:

Not feeling hurt or embarassed. As you pointed out, I asked to be corrected, and I was. Point well taken. :ty:
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Glad to hear that. I like your attitude which is a refreshing change from some of the posters around here. I look forward to more of your posts. :wave:
 
The article reminded me so much of an article I read several years ago about a child with Cerebral Palsy having a procedure called a "Selective Dorsal Rhisotomy", and how the parent was quoted as saying that she hoped the procedure would "fix" her child so he would be able to walk.

Now, my son had this very procedure when he was three, not to make him walk, but to reverse or at least slow some complications that he was starting to experience as a result of his CP, and it is a procedure that comes with great risks and possibilities of serious complications.

For me, as a mom, to read that another mom thought her child needed "Fixing" and that walking would be the best thing that could ever happen to him just broke my heart...I wrote a letter to the magazine that published the article, telling them how saddened I was that this boys mom viewed him as "less than" merely because he could not walk, and that I just prayed that her child never ever heard how he had needed to be "fixed". Her child wasn't broken... why would he need fixing???:pissed:

I feel the same way about this article...it saddens me to no end that anyone would say that "You can exist without hearing, but to have a life, you need to hear,"... The Deaf people I know live full lives, and do so much more than merely "exist"...this audist propaganda is just disgusting. :pissed:
 
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