Would you date someone with kids?

I had a reading lapse... sowwy!
 
I've mentioned that my father died when I was young. We had four kids in our family. When I was in my late teens, my mom (then aged 51), married a man with five sons.

It wasn't quite the madhouse it sounds like: his three oldest were already out on their own (two in the military, one in college). Those three never lived with us full-time, although the one in college spent part of his summers with us and lived with my parents for a short time just after college.

The two younger ones were part-time with their mother, part-time with us, and eventually for one of them, full-time with us. It all worked out fine. Those two younger ones are completely like brothers to us girls; everyone's kids are "nieces and nephews" to us all.

You have to be flexible and accepting of everyone's differences and if there is another parent involved, realize that there might be different house rules. That's fine; you can still enforce whatever "house rules" you think best for your own family. Just be prepared for having to explain them to the other parent as well as to the kids, if necessary.
 
Mine is quite fun. Ages between the four are 16, 14, 13, and 11.. So the main thing is keeping groceries in the house.

They are all eating machines!!!
 
It depends...but I think it's better to date someone who don't have kids when your in the 20s or 30s then eventually u marry her then can have kids with her as long as you two are pretty good so far.
 
It would depend on the kids! If they where the kids from HELL I would not date a guy.
 
My current husband told me that if he had to start dating again, he wouldn't date a girl with kids. (I have two girls previously, and both of them adore him. The youngest one calls him Daddy).

Ouch. I don't think my heart will ever heal from that one.
 
People with kids..

This is a sticky subject.. I have to say i would date someone with children.... I have a 6 year old child, it would help if his children where around the same age. I think the most important factor would be for they guy… not to trying to take over his father’s role... We had our differences of course and i don’t much care for him but he is the father... I think overall if you care about someone you are not with them for what they have or for what they can buy you or give you... but with them for who they are and take on what they bring along. I did like the comment about depends if they were kids from hell… lol…… acceptance and change are hard things to adapt to.
 
deafbajagal said:
My current husband told me that if he had to start dating again, he wouldn't date a girl with kids. (I have two girls previously, and both of them adore him. The youngest one calls him Daddy).

Ouch. I don't think my heart will ever heal from that one.
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Wow, "like" is really not what I would want to say, but wanted to let you know I noticed this. Why would he say such a thing, do you know?
 
Personally I might give dating a guy with one child a chance, and that chance is small. Anything more than one is a no no. If somehow later in my life (twenty years) I am single, and for whatever want love and all the good stuff then it probably wont matter because his kids would be out of the house already. Whey you're older its different. I totally agree on the no bad *ss kids thing.
 
not just the 'time' or not liking kids, its the ulterior motive which is rampant in NZ lots of young wimmins just want kids nothing else, they prey and fuck over men, which is why i dont fuck around...literally...i dont trust them...
 
shel90 said:
I think he meant that he didnt want anything to do with kicking the father out of the child's life but the mother did by trying to make Steinhaur the father. That is my understanding if I read it correctly.
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absolutely correct.
 
s for bad ass kids, its reflects the parents' past problems, not neccessarily directly but from generation hopping habits...id still stay away...
id i relly really like a gal, and she likes some thing like sport, like motocross, then i might...because Id know how raise the kids into the sport (and out) , and how to reflect the lifestyle with life's dramas and life's perceptions in general. I was *raised* by a motocross tracker owner *as a second dad* outside of the troubled-hearing-snob home with a really old fashioned uptight step father...and in a way i was 'given' a second chance to childhood to learn/respect/enjoy older peoples company as the motocross and attitudes (too!) linked us, Len was a cunt , a mean racist, sexist, army-freak asshole im glad had Mort, my own father was a fuckwit, worked in mental hospital for way way too long...
blah..i think i said bit too much...

in short of all this, if a gal has kids into motocross or wanting to, and we get along really well, in that circumstance i might give it a go. Not likely to happen its a rare thing for this sort of situation.

Im also saying im no way in ball sports nor can guide the meaning of 'real life' but will motocross i think its in my grasp, maybe computers but that not kids/obvious stuff at all, and id rather keep computers shit away...it WAS my passion i coded in hexicdecimal and its toooo secretive as a language, oh well...(and seemingly impossible generational jump to this sort of obscure language)...
but in general
no, i wouldnt date a woman with kids...
 
but then again, at my age i probably couldnt avoid that... that sucks but then again.so someone else's kids in the right place would be lovely to bring up...to teach them about life, as I have always thought so much about life as i grew up and i still do, im not a 'careless moron' sort i am a deep thinker and have heart and would love to be proud of bringing up a winner whose benefited from my then-harsh experiences, in other words i wasnt a loser at all, just a stupid chance that life gave me....(is that normal thinking? I hope...)
 
shel90 said:
I was lucky that I had a lot of dates after my divorce with men who had no children. I was surprised because I figured that by having a small child (my daughter was 4 at the time), it would be a big turn off.
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Sorry to sound blunt, but that is how you seperate the men from the boys. Only a real man will take responsibility of a child, whether it be his, or his bride to be.

My real grandfather was killed as a result of something I would rather not discuss here (related to his WWII experiences). My grandmother was left with 3 children. My father, uncle and aunt. My father was the oldest and was 7 years old. My grandmother was 30 years old when it happened. She eventually started to date again, and met, whom I call, my grandpa. He was a country bumpkin straight off the farm from Kentucky. My grandmother was from Indiana.

He taught us all what it meant to not only be a dad, but a grandpa too. I didn't find out until I was much older that he was my dad's "step dad". He always treated my father like a son, and me, like a grandson. He was always there for us.
 
Steinhauer said:
Sorry to sound blunt, but that is how you seperate the men from the boys. Only a real man will take responsibility of a child, whether it be his, or his bride to be.

My real grandfather was killed as a result of something I would rather not discuss here (related to his WWII experiences). My grandmother was left with 3 children. My father, uncle and aunt. My father was the oldest and was 7 years old. My grandmother was 30 years old when it happened. She eventually started to date again, and met, whom I call, my grandpa. He was a country bumpkin straight off the farm from Kentucky. My grandmother was from Indiana.

He taught us all what it meant to not only be a dad, but a grandpa too. I didn't find out until I was much older that he was my dad's "step dad". He always treated my father like a son, and me, like a grandson. He was always there for us.
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I love this!
 
My only issue with dating guys who have kids is when they want to introduce me to their kids right away...I never brought my dates home unless the guy and I had been dating for a long time and even then, we were just friends in front of my boys just in case the relationship didn't work out. I don't want my kids getting attached to anyone who won't be there in 3, 6 or 12 months. It's not fair to them.
 
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